The Literotica Auction Thread

TheEarl

Occasional visitor
Joined
Apr 1, 2002
Posts
9,808
Right. Let the madness begin.

Sellers:

This thread is for openings of auctions only, not for discussion, bids or anything else. The only posts that should be in this thread are people offering themselves for sale. One offer per post - if you're donating multiple 'products', then make a separate post for each. If possible, then see if you can keep the number of multiple products to a minimum, at most 2 per person. I think it'd be better to keep this as streamlined as possible. I'd prefer to have everyone offering one different thing, rather than everyone offering a wide range of the same things.

You need to nominate:
1) A title for the auction
2) What you're offering and any limitations like geography or prudishness.
3) Which charity and how the money of the winning bid needs to be delivered.
4) Starting and finishing time of the auction (3 days from start minute to finish minute)
5) The currency that bids will be accepted in. As the seller is effectively running the auction, they get to choose the currency.
6) Any other relevant info.

And remember sellers, Clear your PM inbox! Also remember you've got to update your auction with the best bid at the end of each of the three days.


Buyers:

Do not put bids in this thread! Or in any thread. This is a closed envelope blind auction and will be done via Private Messages and no other way.

If you want to bid, then send a PM to the seller (not to anyone else!), with the name of the auction in the title and the amount you're bidding in the message area. At the end of each day, the seller will update his/her auction to tell what the highest bid of the day was. If it wasn't you, well get back in there and see if you can beat everyone else's bids! It's all for a good cause.


Any disputes over bidding, payment, etc can be referred to me, but I sincerely hope we can do this with a minimum of chaos. <wishful thinking, I know>.

Let us begin.

The Earl
 
The Earl: English accent for sale

The winner of this auction will get a sound file of a delicious English accent that has been described as a Alexis Denisof/Ethan Rayne crossover. I will either read a passage/story of the winner's choice (under 1,500 words) or sing a song of the winner's choice (possibly a limited selection. I'll sing anything, but if you want it sound good, then you might have to give up any hopes of Queen!).

I'll sing, read anything as dirty as you like. I'm not proud. The only limitations are length and obviously, no personal information will be sold here :D.

The charity is the Alzheimer's Research Trust. Donations can be made online here. Minimum bid is £1, but you won't know if you're winning until tomorrow evening when I announce the state of play after the first day. So bid high!

The auction starts.... now. That's 6:00pm, 5th December 2005, English time. It will finish 6:00pm, 8th December. All bids are in pounds (no mickey mouse money here!).

<awaiting to see if anyone wants to bid>

The Earl
 
TheEarl said:
The winner of this auction will get a sound file of a delicious English accent that has been described as a Alexis Denisof/Ethan Rayne crossover. I will either read a passage/story of the winner's choice (under 1,500 words) or sing a song of the winner's choice (possibly a limited selection. I'll sing anything, but if you want it sound good, then you might have to give up any hopes of Queen!).
>snip<
The Earl
In support of The Earl's generosity, offering his delicious English accent in support of such a worth cause, the winning bidder in his auction above will ALSO receive a signed limited edition print: To Scent Her Arousal.
Click link to see a reduced image of this erotic art photo.

Details:
* Limited edition 10 x 8 photoprint - #3 of 10, signed by me.
* This piece was on display at Dirty Show 6, the world's largest juried erotic arts exhibit, held in Detroit, Michigan, 2005.
* I'll mail it to you in a protected package, anywhere worldwide.
 
Oh come on, you guys, you're killing me... I'm drooling all over myself... what a mess!

<--wishing she had s'more cash on hand!!! lol
 
TheEarl said:
The winner of this auction will get a sound file of a delicious English accent The Earl

What a shame, I already have one.
 
fieryjen said:
A sound file or a delicious accent? :)

I don't know if you think Simon Cowell has a delicious accent. That's what I sound like, to Americans anyway: But Londoners wouldn't think that. In fact they can place me to within about two streets. Everyone here's a Henry Higgins.
 
Phone Call with Mack

Just in case anyone misses it in the other thread:



The winner of my auction will recieve one phone call of indeterminate length (no less than 10 minutes... let's see how the conversation goes after that.) The only limitations I would place on this phone call is that I'm not willing to engage in phone sex (never on a first date! :D) I will also not give out my personal phone number. If you'd like one more piece of the puzzle that is McKenna, bid away!


Money for this auction will be donated to the Yellowstone Park Foundation. Minimum bid is $5. This auction ends on Wednesday, December 7th, at 8:00 pm Mountain Standard Time. Please PM me with your bids; winning bidder will be announced on Wednesday evening.


International bidders welcome!
 
Sub Joe said:
I don't know if you think Simon Cowell has a delicious accent. That's what I sound like, to Americans anyway: But Londoners wouldn't think that. In fact they can place me to within about two streets. Everyone here's a Henry Higgins.

I'm not American, and I don't think I've ever bothered to listen to Simon Cowell talk, but I've been to London and I do like the accent(s) of the Londoners. :)
 
Bump to point out that I have had precisely 0 bids. That's right £0.00. No English pounds and no English pence.

Good charity. Good offer, even with a fabulous bonus of a really, really, really hot picture and what do we get? SFA!

Hoping for a slightly better effort for the next day.

The Earl
 
Back
Top