The Lit experience: men v women

[munch2much]

Those who need proof have had proof in the flesh. Anyone else could probably ask them if they were uncertain and didn’t believe me. I’m kidding I don’t even care who thinks what about my genitals or me. They give me and my partner great pleasure. That’s the important part.

I hate even thinking of lockdown. I really feel like I am still affected and changed by the lockdowns that happened here where I live. I was so social prior and really struggled with lockdown but now finding it difficult to readjust to the world.

I’m sorry to hear this.
Lockdown happened at a particularly unfortunate time for me.
I’d made some significant life changes and intended to do so many things, starting March 2020!
And I was so motivated. I’m not now. Plus the world has gone crazy

I hope you you overcome your struggles

 

[Bbl87]

I’m an essential too; and unfortunately I was directly involved in some aspects of pandemic management planning. I can’t go into it much but it I had some pretty grim responsibilities, thankfully because we were all locked into our homes and not allowed to leave for an eternity they were not ever needed.

That sucks. Ya, we were essential but not health or emergency management related, obviously. We did shut down for about 2 weeks at one point, and we were on quarantine more than once, but overall my life stayed normal-ish by pandemic standards. I was fortunate.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Great questions.

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?

Male


Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?

I do not feel invisible. I’ve even been called loud here. Whilst I’m not an extroverted person as many might assume, I do love the art of conversation and I genuinely love hearing the discussions that go on within this forum. I say a lot of things, many of which are considered unpopular, so that is often quickly noticed. I also don’t shy away from controversial topics, so that also makes for high visibility.


Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?

No. Not even close to this. Like many, I prefer quality conversation over quantity. If I’m talking to 20 different people, it’s about dammed near impossible to give proper attention to any of them. I’d rather have just a couple meaningful conversations than a lot of surface ones. Small talk grows old quickly.


Why was today great? Frustrating?

Today is just a normal day. I haven’t scrolled around Lit enough to have a drastic opinion on the day at Lit.


What would make your Lit experience better?

I think I am 100% responsible for my Lit experience. If it’s boring, then I shall make it interesting (for me). Start the conversation that you want or find interesting. Engage with the person or people that might make the experience enjoyable. Leave the conversation that upsets you.

On a technical side, I wish they would fix the bug that requires me to click around after I log in to get to the proper view. But other than that, I’m happy.

 

[may_I_please]

On a technical side, I wish they would fix the bug that requires me to click around after I log in to get to the proper view. But other than that, I’m happy.

oh thank fuk, I absolutely thought I was just being a moron

 

[munch2much]

This site can move at such speed sometimes that when you write a long and wel thought through comment, the discussion may have moved on before you hit send. That is sometimes a way to feel unseen in my expirience.

Love,
Thom

That’s very true.
Especially at the time when the US is online.
I’m mostly on before then. And Lit is unbelievably Quiet at those times!

 

[Lord Pmann]

oh thank fuk, I absolutely thought I was just being a moron

I don’t know why they can’t fix that. It’s so frustrating. I finally got it down to just one click.

 

[munch2much]

Great questions.

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?

Male


Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?

I do not feel invisible. I’ve even been called loud here. Whilst I’m not an extroverted person as many might assume, I do love the art of conversation and I genuinely love hearing the discussions that go on within this forum. I say a lot of things, many of which are considered unpopular, so that is often quickly noticed. I also don’t shy away from controversial topics, so that also makes for high visibility.


Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?

No. Not even close to this. Like many, I prefer quality conversation over quantity. If I’m talking to 20 different people, it’s about dammed near impossible to give proper attention to any of them. I’d rather have just a couple meaningful conversations than a lot of surface ones. Small talk grows old quickly.


Why was today great? Frustrating?

Today is just a normal day. I haven’t scrolled around Lit enough to have a drastic opinion on the day at Lit.


What would make your Lit experience better?

I think I am 100% responsible for my Lit experience. If it’s boring, then I shall make it interesting (for me). Start the conversation that you want or find interesting. Engage with the person or people that might make the experience enjoyable. Leave the conversation that upsets you.

On a technical side, I wish they would fix the bug that requires me to click around after I log in to get to the proper view. But other than that, I’m happy.

Oh wow, the technical thing isn’t just me! Why did I think it was?

Well your philosophy on Lit sounds very sensible. That’s gotta be good

 

[Cat]

Great questions.

Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?

I do not feel invisible. I’ve even been called loud here. Whilst I’m not an extroverted person as many might assume, I do love the art of conversation and I genuinely love hearing the discussions that go on within this forum. I say a lot of things, many of which are considered unpopular, so that is often quickly noticed. I also don’t shy away from controversial topics, so that also makes for high visibility.

..... Pssst: you are one of the loud ones...

 

[munch2much]

I don’t think I’ve had any negative interactions here. People are nice, jokey, even those who don’t quite get my sense of humour are sweet about it.

honestly, and probably naively, didn’t realise that men display as women, without it being a transgender thing, but then I’m probably not their target. I’ve also never been asked to prove womanhood or had anybody send me a dick pic.

I can sometimes feel invisible, I think we all can.

You’ve never been sent a dick pic?! I wish I could stay the same. I’ve been sent them here, Instagram and Facebook. Not recently fortunately.

And yes, I think we can all feel invisible at times. I like it when it suits me!

 

[munch2much]

I'm just gonna wait for one of the ladies to write a response which is close to my experiences on here and react to it as I've been here on and off for years and can't be bothered to break it down, but interesting thread.

Aww! I’m genuinely curious.
But either way I’m pleased you stopped by.

Is your day going well?

 

[Lord Pmann]

..... Pssst: you are one of the loud ones...

I’m as quiet and proper as a Kensington Palace mouse.

 

[may_I_please]

I don’t know why they can’t fix that. It’s so frustrating. I finally got it down to just one click

care to share your ways oh maestro?

You’ve never been sent a dick pic?! I wish I could stay the same. I’ve been sent them here, Instagram and Facebook. Not recently fortunately.

And yes, I think we can all feel invisible at times. I like it when it suits me!

LOL, I don’t really do social media tbh. I don’t understand the impulse either ….”hey stranger here’s my dong, it is not like other dongs” are they asking to be ridiculed?

 

[munch2much]

Female, here!
I don't feel invisible, but I don't really care about it either way. I love to show up to post, flirt, flit around, and leave when I'm done. At the beginning, my inbox would be crazy busy and it interfered with posting - so I closed it to anyone who wasn't already on my buddy list. (The old system) If I felt a need, I could message someone. But, seriously, guys - not everyone who enjoys being barefoot is into your fetishes!

I've never been asked to prove myself, but I also had no trouble leaving posts in the audio thread or the chest thread.

Today is great because I have wonderful friends and a great "manager".

Haha, I’d probably best not ask about the fetish people. But I do know people who sell foot pics to them. I’m amazed they will pay good money just for pics of feet

I like your philosophy. It’s sounds a chill and sensible approach

 

[munch2much]

care to share your ways oh maestro?


LOL, I don’t really do social media tbh. I don’t understand the impulse either ….”hey stranger here’s my dong, it is not like other dongs” are they asking to be ridiculed?

The ridicule thing is a genuine fetish for some. Not me, I hasten to add. I’d not be best pleased.

But it’s not just men … on Instagram in particular I’ve been sent nudes by women.

I think the world would be a better place (mostly) without social media. For me Instagram has been useful for sharing my art and making creative connections. I suspect that may be partly why people used to send me random pics. But who knows

 

[Bbl87]

I don’t understand the impulse either ….”hey stranger here’s my dong, it is not like other dongs” are they asking to be ridiculed?

Kind of my thought process, as a dude. Have I sent a dick pic? Yes, actually only since coming to Lit ironically enough. Have I ever sent one without being asked? Nope. I don't figure any woman wants to open her phone and see that unless she asks for it.

I don't see the appeal of dick. Don't get me wrong, I think mine is awesome , but I don't see what women see in them. . But I'm sure plenty of women feel the same way in the other direction.

 

[Lord Pmann]

care to share your ways oh maestro?

So, I type in forum.literotica.com. When it comes up, I type my name and PW in the fields. Before clicking the login button, I scroll down to look at the pics of the cam girls and take in some eye candy.

Click login. Then, when it lists the forums in the weird, fucked up way it does, click on the last post in a forum. Don’t click on the forum heading, but the last post. Then, you are into the normal looking forum.

Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?

I’m a woman.

Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?

I do not feel invisible. There were times when I wanted to be, though. Invisible mode comes in handy when one wants to lurk.

Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?

I get a lot of PMs some days and will also go weeks without getting any. My stomach drops when I log in and have a lot out of nowhere as that is usually not good for me, lol. Someone is probably being an asshat. I can be slow to reply sometimes.

Why was today great? Frustrating?
What would make your Lit experience better?

This morning was off to a rough start due to a fucking scammer. I wish I had some tools to make it more efficient to deal with that. Breaking the quote feature right now has me frustrated, lol. (Ah, it looks okay once posted…I guess I didn’t break it).


Also, I do find Lit Chat hard to use due to the excessive PMs. I prefer the forums, anyway.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I have never used the chat function. I don’t leave the Playground (other than the odd trip to the Personals). Everything I need is right here. I have never been asked for proof I am a woman and if I was, I wouldn’t give it. I take others at face value and I expect them to do the same for me.

There are more men than women here and I have found the majority of the men to be very polite and friendly. There have been a couple who stop messaging when they find out that I am not interested in anything more than friendship. I have one intimate relationship here and that person has never asked for evidence that I am who I say I am (boy is he going to get a shock when I whip my dick out ).

I do think that I have been approached by the same men sometimes but they are using a different username. I think that is pretty sad.

Considering I am an attention whore, I have never felt invisible.

 

[munch2much]

I’m a woman.

I do not feel invisible. There were times when I wanted to be, though. Invisible mode comes in handy when one wants to lurk.

I get a lot of PMs some days and will also go weeks without getting any. My stomach drops when I log in and have a lot out of nowhere as that is usually not good for me, lol. Someone is probably being an asshat. I can be slow to reply sometimes.




This morning was off to a rough start due to a fucking scammer. I wish I had some tools to make it more efficient to deal with that. Breaking the quote feature right now has me frustrated, lol. (Ah, it looks okay once posted…I guess I didn’t break it).


Also, I do find Lit Chat hard to use due to the excessive PMs. I prefer the forums, anyway.

I’m so impressed by all the quotes!

Sorry to hear about the scammer. It’s crazy how much of that goes on. Clearly profitable or there wouldn’t be so many.

I once logged into a chat room and was mistaken for a lady …got about one PM a second, making it unusable. When recognised as a guy it was a miracle if I received any PMs. Except for other guys wanting to see my dick or sending me theirs .

And thank you for replying. Much appreciated!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I once logged into a chat room and was mistaken for a lady …got about one PM a second, making it unusable. When recognised as a guy it was a miracle if I received any PMs. Except for other guys wanting to see my dick or sending me theirs .

And thank you for replying. Much appreciated!

My username tends to draw some interesting PMs. Interesting isn’t the right word…I get a lot of men demanding I please them, or they just start ordering me around or something. While part of me wants to put them in their place, I almost always just ignore them, hoping that they don’t even get the satisfaction of knowing I read it. Posting in the BDSM forum also leads to some of those PMs on the forum side too, so the name is a double whammy of sorts. I’ve actually thought about changing it, but I’m fairly well-known as a moderator and I just don’t think it’s worth it.

 

[Bbl87]

I have never been asked for proof I am a woman and if I was, I wouldn’t give it. I take others at face value and I expect them to do the same for me.

In fairness, I've never come put and asked someone to prove they're not a dude. I just don't really engaged in any more personal sexy talk until I'm pretty well convinced. There is one friend I have on here where we kind of had a running joke that I was slightly nervous she actually had a dick.

 

[munch2much]

My username tends to draw some interesting PMs. Interesting isn’t the right word…I get a lot of men demanding I please them, or they just start ordering me around or something. While part of me wants to put them in their place, I almost always just ignore them, hoping that they don’t even get the satisfaction of knowing I read it. Posting in the BDSM forum also leads to some of those PMs on the forum side too, so the name is a double whammy of sorts. I’ve actually thought about changing it, but I’m fairly well-known as a moderator and I just don’t think it’s worth it.

I guess I always had the impression you were referring to one particular guy.

But I can see the confusion. And us guys are easily confused.
Let me tell you something that might entertain you.

I’m a fairly traditional guy. But get turned on by other people being turned on. So end up doing all kids of stuff because a partner loves it, rather than me.

Anyhow, I had an encounter with a lady who really liked guys who push and dominate. And complained that guys always wait to be lead. Well in real life I guess I’m confident, but I am also mindful of others feelings. But, yes it was very hot with her. So I am thinking it’d be nice if I can find someone like that again. So I read profiles. Thought I’d found someone indicating that was their thing, tested the water a bit …and quite honestly I ended up feeling a complete dick. Live and learn. And feel guilty!

Thank you for your reply. I think there it is always useful and interesting to understand other people’s experiences. There’s always something to be learnt.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Men outnumber women on Lit.

And everyone will have a different experience.

But it’s clear that men and women have very different experiences.

When you understand each other’s experience, the world can be a happier place.

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?
Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?
Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?
Why was today great? Frustrating?

What would make your Lit experience better?

I am Male.
I often feel invisible, though I expect that is due to the number of people who have me on Ignore.
I do not consciously try to get noticed, but it does make me think. Maybe I should pay attention to my motivations in posting. I actually have been trying lately to post less and interact more.
My Inbox us usually empty, unless I send a message first and someone is gracious enough to reply. I've been trying to send more PMs, hopefully without becoming a problem.
I've not been on Lit much today, besides checking in to see if I had any PMs. I had one response and we exchanged some pleasantries, which was good. Otherwise, nada. Not everyone replies, of course.
Um...I do wish that people would remember that there are real human beings on the other side of the screen. That is about it.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Men outnumber women on Lit.

And everyone will have a different experience.

But it’s clear that men and women have very different experiences.

When you understand each other’s experience, the world can be a happier place.

So are you male, female or somewhere in between?
Do you feel invisible? Trying different tactics just to get noticed?
Is your inbox full of so many IMs that you couldn’t reply to them all even if you wanted to?
Why was today great? Frustrating?

What would make your Lit experience better?

I am female. I do not feel invisible. My inbox is mostly where pervy messages go to die. I scan for people I know from threads or really interesting titles. I will never be caught up on my inbox, been trying for 5 years, it is a lost cause.

As others mentioned, I have not been asked for proof of femininity in a very long time, but I used to be, at first, and remember those times fondly. I had just joined lit, with a user name that was probably not the best. I never intended to be on the forums, I came to write, joined the forums because I thought I'd want pointers. I had never been a member of any adult forum. Well, my inbox flooded immediately. It was crazy. By day 2 of just trying to deal with my box, I ended up creating a kik account at the urging of another litster, and sending it to a couple of men who I wanted to talk to more. The second man, as soon as I accepted, he was like "video chat". I am all dude, slow your roll, it is 5pm, I am in the middle of a damn grocery store, and besides, expecting a live dirty chat like immediately seems very presumptuous. Maybe I want virtual tacos and for you tell me I'm pretty first. Then he is like oh god no no, I don't mean that, just come on for like 30 seconds, say hi, tell me the weather, I want to see that you are really a woman. I was laughing my ass off. omg you think I am a man hahaha. ok, I am not exactly a shining example of femininity but a man omg that is hilarious, sure dude we will talk about how funny you are. The concept that I might not be a woman was insane and hysterical to me. Like who would pretend to be a sexually frustrated, middle aged, chubby, soccer mom in rural bumblefuck. If I was going to pretend to be a chick, I'd be barely legal, single, rich, childless, thin, hot, a fucking model, in a glamourous city, with amazing stories. But then it happened again and again with new men.

Then once I was in the threads, I started to really see Lit, and see the men aren't crazy, I was just painfully naïve. It is so bad and so prolific, even I doubt that I'm a woman now. I switched to, and still do, offer a light get to know you video chat as soon as we become skype friends. I realized it must be so uncomfortable for men to ask, but so prolific, it seems like a very difficult spot to be in, and I don't envy you. I am happy to extend the olive branch of openness. Besides, I really like to see the person I am talking to, it makes them feel more like a person to me. Alas, no one has doubted my femininity in a long time, I miss it, I'd still laugh and laugh.

Lit was good today. It usually is. I do try to make it work for me the best I know how. I guess what could make it better is removal of the time limits between posts and messages.

 

[Mrtenant]

I get paid for my inexpert survey answers and opinion on this topic.

Send by zelle or venmo, and we'll talk.

Meant to be funny.

I have been here on the forum, off and on since 2010. It has been, overall, a good experience. I came here to interact. Joke around, meet a few people, have some fun. In time, relationships happened. With all the LDR good and bad that can come with it. I don't think it was ever my intention to get close with someone, it just happened. I know, that mistakes and all, have lead me to here and now.

This is slightly embarrassing to talk about. In my experience, I have seen the tragedy of so many people here. I am marveled at their stamina to keep going through the difficulties of life here or offline. Death, divorce, mental health issues, physical health issues, PTSD, victims of really bad relationships, and so on. It has been my privilege to offer a joke, a smile, a laugh, a crazy story as a diversion to take away their pain, even for a moment. My PM box has several notes from people over the years thanking me for this gift. Do I know it when I do it? Mostly not. I know what it is to hurt and feel trapped in that pain. I don't want anyone to ever feel as bad as that. So that's what I do. Many times my crap seems offensive, or falls flat. In the times anyone has asked if I was being a dick, I do tell them, no, it's meant to be funny and sorry if it hurt. It wasn't meant to.

I have lately had so manny of my own difficulties from several quarters of my life here and offline, it has been bleeding out. For that I apologize. No one wants to come to Lit and deal with that. Since meeting @cascadiabound here some six years ago, I have become much more sober, with more meaningful posts than I ever used to. She has been a good influence on me. Now I post up a lot of art, sex as art, poetry, still some stories on occasion (here, on the forum) and try to be intentionally more caring and friendly. What tomorrow brings, idk.

PMs, in my experience, are as good as you give. Though there is a lot of garbage out there. I have some that I find memorable still in my archive going back to 2010. Not sexy memorable, but real, human friendly memorable. They are the ones I value the most.

Sometimes I feel invisible. Sometimes I care, sometimes I don't. I have things to do here thst alleviate the invisible feeling most of the time. Advice, if you feel invisible, post post post and post some more. At the very least you have a body of work that is you. Be creative. Be for real. Write big ass long pages of text. Get involved. Talk to me, I got a cattle prod that'll get ya moving.