-the lifestyle-

[Mischka]

People who live outside the mainstream live a different lifestyle than the average person. Even though few people could be defined as "average," those on the fringe of the bell curve are quite conscious of the differences.

 

[modest mouse]

People with and without BDSM interests often refer to such interest/participation as a BDSM lifestyle. Or even as simply, 'the lifestyle'.

I must confess to being annoyed with such a term as I just cannot get my head around it. Its a lifestyle so it explains the bulk of your life? Lifestyle is a big word in reference to a person.

Can anyone help me to understand the terms usage in this case and/or why such a term is embraced?

 

[Lancecastor]

Here's one attempt at defining it.....but I think "lifestyle" in the sex practice sense generally might be a shortened version of "alternative lifestyle".

From:

When we say lifestyle BDSM, we can mean many different things, from the person who has made a choice to include BDSM in his lifestyle, to someone who chooses only to have friends, go to clubs etc involved in BDSM. To me, lifestyle BDSM is not either of those things, but rather an actual relationship that is the basis for an entire life. It controls all the things we do and the reasons behind it. This is sometimes referred to as a 24/7 relationship. Both partners are "in role" at all times.

 

[Weird Harold]

People who live outside the mainstream live a different lifestyle than the average person. Even though few people could be defined as "average," those on the fringe of the bell curve are quite conscious of the differences.

Quote into proper sequence.

Mishka, you're connected to the out-of-synch server, all of your replies are going to page three.

 

[Cheyenne]

I don't think it will make any more sense to us than the use of the term "vanilla," no matter what answer gets posted here.

 

[Pyper]

Okay, is anybody else seeing Mischka's as the starter post on this thread?

 

[Siren]

 

[Pyper]

Obviously, from his post, mouse did. But I see Mischka as the first post.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

That's pretty sneaky of her.

Do it again! Do it again!

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I started this post tomorrow.

 

[Pyper]

That's pretty sneaky of her.

Do it again! Do it again!

*squints at the av*

PV, what are you doing in that name?

 

[Minkey Boodle]

I needed a new outfit. So I picked this one. It was on sale.

 

[modest mouse]

I began the thread. Mischka's response appears first due to servor fuck-ups that were nto corrected.

Lance, thanks for the post but a more hands on approach was what I was lookign for,

Mischka, your post is a tad confusing and vague.

Chey, possibly but I would like some idea of where people are coming from. My own opinions aside.

 

[Olivianna]

My interpretation of what Mischka has written is that those people who are conscious of being outside of "the norm" (or, at least define themselves that way) may feel compelled to attach certain labels to the way they live. It is a way of categorizing their uncategorizable lives. Umm..scratch that whole interpretation of Mischka's post, actually. This is just what I think.

 

[Mischka]

Mischka, your post is a tad confusing and vague.

Terribly sorry. Since you simply criticized my post instead of asking for a clarification, I'll leave it like it is.

 

[modest mouse]

Terribly sorry. Since you simply criticized my post instead of asking for a clarification, I'll leave it like it is.

Ahhh, I assumed you knew that I would enjoy a clarification. I am not criticizing your post but I just am not understanding what you are saying.

If you care to clarify I would be happy to have your input.

 

[sexy-girl]

i dont even know if i count as being part of a lifestyle as i don't do many gay things except being gay


but i did make a life-choice i guess ... discovering you're gay and finding it out is hard even when its easy if that makes sense

i think you need to have made that kind of life choice for you to count as being in a life style


some people compare finding out you're into BDSM a bit like finding out you're gay ... having to make that same life choice ... i can't really answer that because im only gay and not into BDSM

 

[Calamity Jane]

Terribly sorry. Since you simply criticized my post instead of asking for a clarification, I'll leave it like it is.

I heart you.

 

[seXieleXie]

most of the queer people i know, myself included, feel like being queer is more than what we do in bed. it affects more than just our romantic lives. perhaps it is the same with BDSM lifestylers.

 

[modest mouse]

Interesting perspective, thanks for posting lexie and s-g.

 

[amelia]

Can anyone help me to understand the terms usage in this case and/or why such a term is embraced?

the fact that the thread is out of order has confused me. someone may have alread said this, but maybe they call it "the lifestyle" because they feel like their sexual preferences define their lives more then other areas.

<and now that i re read lexie and S-G's posts they've pretty much already stated this perspective. i guess it's to early for my reading comprehension to kick in.>