The Joys of Cheating

[davenjenn]

Before I got married, I was a terrible cheat. I cheated on all my bfs from my teens onwards. I loved being the good little girl with some very straightlaced guy most of the time, being nice to his friends, dressing perfectly and going to all the right parties. But I would secretly date bad boys and fuck their brains out. In fact, I pretty much said yes to anyone who asked.

I ultimately married one of the bad boys and we have had an open relationship for 10 years, so I still have plenty of guys. But we tell each other everything, so it isn't exactly cheating. This has worked well until recently when I have suddenly started to miss real cheating, with all the lying and pretending.

So we have agreed that we don't have to tell each other everything we do anymore. And tonight I had my first affair that I don't plan to tell my husband about. It was wonderful and I came really quickly just thinking about the fact that I wouldn't tell. And he never goes on lit anymore so he won't read it here. I am now strategizing about being a true cheat again

Are there any other women who enjoy cheating as much as I do?

 

[JackSprat619]

Enjoy it!

 

[magicalmoments]

There is definitely something extra that comes with the pleasure of cheating. I think it is the added risk factor of being caught and the shame, humiliation and disgrace it may bring you and your SO if caught.

Even when that risk is limited by davenjenn's agreement to allow "cheating" it must be the thing that gives the added thrill.

 

[screwher]

my wife

To the best of my knowledge my wife cheat anymore. But it's her one tryst (that I know of) that has me on this site. Years ago my wife developed an attraction to another man. He ended up taking her to a hotel and fucking her. I had a different mindset then and it almost destroyed our relationship. Soon after I started getting aroused by her infidelity and began to fantasize about other men fucking her. Unfortunately though it had the opposite effect on my wife.

Something positive came out of something negative. For years I've fantasized about this and it's brought me great pleasure. Now I wish she would do it again. This time I think she'll like my reaction.

 

[davenjenn]

Thanks guys. I was hoping to hear from other women.

 

[policywank]

I have always struggled to reconcile the fundamental thrill of cheating with a strong aversion to being deceitful. I have never bought into the notion of "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" so it isn't easy.

Before I was married a tended to have lots of non-committed relationships. I sort of got the "cheating" thrill by dating more than one man at once and keeping my promiscuity to myself (even my closest friends didn't know for the most part). It was a huge thrill to have sex with two men in the same day and have neither know about the other. I didn't owe either of them a duty of fidelity so I didn't feel like I was being deceitful yet I felt like I was getting away with something.

Of the boyfriends I did have I cheated on almost every one. No question that was deceitful, but I usually broke up with them shortly thereafter - I could rationalize a mistake or four but not an ongoing practice of it. But I also must confess that if I knew I was going to break up with a guy I often cheated on him a few times first just for the thrill of being a bad girl. It was a pretty consistent theme - almost from the beginning of the relationship I knew it would end with me fucking some bad boy a half dozen times before I dumped my then boyfriend. But I always tried to do it nicely and without him knowing about my cheating.

When I got married I really planned to leave those days behind. But within a couple years I fucked a guy when my husband was on a business trip. I love my husband but I knew I couldn't be faithful so I confessed and in time we transitioned to a very open lifestyle. Now much like you, I am free to fuck who I want without telling hubby. It isn't exactly cheating as we have agreed on this approach but it seems to be a reasonable trade-off. And being even dirtier than I am he takes a substantial thrill from not knowing.

 

[MrRandyWatson]

I like a variety of sex. I don't like cheating. But then again, my wife is a prude and leaves me no choice if our sex life is miserable - which it's probably going to be soon since she's constantly tired now.

I'd rather just be honest about it - the lying and deception does little for me outside a story-writing context. If I had an open relationship and the amount and variety of sex I was comfortable with, I'd be happy.

 

[secretholder]

When I dated and after years in our marriage of being completely faithful and supportive, I turned to cheating. I was the one always left at home. I love my kids but never had any adult interaction. I missed the thrill of foreplay and passion. Cheating gave me back my confidence ..

 

[vibes]

So we have agreed that we don't have to tell each other everything we do anymore. And tonight I had my first affair that I don't plan to tell my husband about. It was wonderful and I came really quickly just thinking about the fact that I wouldn't tell. And he never goes on lit anymore so he won't read it here. I am now strategizing about being a true cheat again

I don't see much difference in telling each other *everything* about extramarital affairs and agreeing to have extramarital affairs and to not bother about telling each other ... but obviously there is to you

 

[ConflictedOne]

Cheating is a double edged sword...

It's GREAT in the moment...

But it's something you can NEVER undo...

 

[girl_4_girl]

I've never been married, so I can't speak to that. I'd like to think that when I get married I'll be faithful, but honestly I don't think that will be the case. Every relationship that I've been in has seen some level of cheating. During some relationships I would fool around with a girl after a few drinks, during others I'd have multiple regular male and female partners. The thrill is what makes me keep doing it. Maybe the control aspect has something to do with it, but mainly it's just the rish I get from being "the bad girl." I've also helped a few others cheat by being "the other woman" that was fun too. If you want to chat about anything, PM me, I'd love to share some stories with a similar minded woman.

 

[beingtrue2me]

Cheating is a double edged sword...

It's GREAT in the moment...

But it's something you can NEVER undo...

I have both when married and single. It was literally intoxicating. Until the guilt set in that is. I got carried away and it cost me. Of all the things I have done and wish I could un do, cheating on my ex is highest on that list. Maybe it's the thrill that makes it so difficult to resist.

 

[newhere2learn]

I have both when married and single. It was literally intoxicating. Until the guilt set in that is. I got carried away and it cost me. Of all the things I have done and wish I could un do, cheating on my ex is highest on that list. Maybe it's the thrill that makes it so difficult to resist.

Agree. The risk is intoxicating. Cheated on 2 of my ex's in my youth and it was amazing until guilt follows.

Never cheated on my wife, nor would I ever.

 

[Learin]

I haven't been in a single relationship during college. That was the time when I partied the hardest, drank the most and had sex with anyone who asked. Yeah, I was pretty fucked up during that time.

But I never got into a relationship that'd hold me down. I hate to break someone's trust, and the guilt afterwards wouldn't be worth it for me. Some people get a kick out of this guilt, but I guess it's to each their own...

Me and my SO had a few couple of threesome sex, and I found it equally satisfying, without having to compromise on my sex-drive and having to cheat on him.

 

[Brianna96]

would you consider it cheating if you were to have sex with another woman if you are a woman or a man if you are a man?

 

[Learin]

It doesn't matter whether you did it with a man or a woman. Having sex outside relationship without mutual consent isn't justified by the sex of the person with whom you cheated.

 

[jasonsdirtygirl]

cheating

I love it, i have a great sex life with my husband just isn't enough, and i enjoy the chase and being chased, being able to try anything and anywhere with anyone is drives me to do what i love to do

 

[policywank]

would you consider it cheating if you were to have sex with another woman if you are a woman or a man if you are a man?

Yes, I think I would.

But whether or not you are cheating is defined by what the explicit or implicit parameters of the relationship are. If you are in an open relationship, having sex with other people isn't cheating.

If I was in a monogamous relationship I would assume that applies to all other potential partners, not just ones of the opposite gender, especially given that the "cheating" is as much about the personal connection as it is about the sex act.

 

[beingtrue2me]

would you consider it cheating if you were to have sex with another woman if you are a woman or a man if you are a man?

My affair was with a woman. I married the only man on earth that didn't want his wife to be with another woman. Thing is, that's not his fault. In my opinion an affair that a spouse doesn't know about (or approve of if you are in an open relationship) is not only a bad idea but one that will ultimately cause more hurt than ecstasy. That's how it played out for me anyway.

 

[ConflictedOne]

My affair was with a woman. I married the only man on earth that didn't want his wife to be with another woman. Thing is, that's not his fault. In my opinion an affair that a spouse doesn't know about (or approve of if you are in an open relationship) is not only a bad idea but one that will ultimately cause more hurt than ecstasy. That's how it played out for me anyway.

Thanks for your thoughts...

Affairs are glamorized on this site...

The thought is amazing...

The affects are not...

 

[kawa_kamuri]

Cheating doesn't feel wrong, risqué, or exciting to me. It feels like sex. It feels neutral. I do prefer to operate with some autonomy which always trips my trigger.

 

[davenjenn]

I have always struggled to reconcile the fundamental thrill of cheating with a strong aversion to being deceitful. I have never bought into the notion of "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" so it isn't easy.

Before I was married a tended to have lots of non-committed relationships. I sort of got the "cheating" thrill by dating more than one man at once and keeping my promiscuity to myself (even my closest friends didn't know for the most part). It was a huge thrill to have sex with two men in the same day and have neither know about the other. I didn't owe either of them a duty of fidelity so I didn't feel like I was being deceitful yet I felt like I was getting away with something.

Of the boyfriends I did have I cheated on almost every one. No question that was deceitful, but I usually broke up with them shortly thereafter - I could rationalize a mistake or four but not an ongoing practice of it. But I also must confess that if I knew I was going to break up with a guy I often cheated on him a few times first just for the thrill of being a bad girl. It was a pretty consistent theme - almost from the beginning of the relationship I knew it would end with me fucking some bad boy a half dozen times before I dumped my then boyfriend. But I always tried to do it nicely and without him knowing about my cheating.

When I got married I really planned to leave those days behind. But within a couple years I fucked a guy when my husband was on a business trip. I love my husband but I knew I couldn't be faithful so I confessed and in time we transitioned to a very open lifestyle. Now much like you, I am free to fuck who I want without telling hubby. It isn't exactly cheating as we have agreed on this approach but it seems to be a reasonable trade-off. And being even dirtier than I am he takes a substantial thrill from not knowing.

Originally it was the excitement of fucking whoever I wanted. Now it's the excitement of not telling. or of confessing at an awkward moment

 

[beingtrue2me]

Thanks for your thoughts...

Affairs are glamorized on this site...

The thought is amazing...

The affects are not...

And then there's this........I cheated and lost my marriage. I have had terrible fights and all that goes with it. And still........if I am in a relationship and not getting taken care of, I know me. There is a good chance that if the right girl or even the right guy crosses my path at the right time I will pounce. I do things impulsively and deal with the issues later. That's just me. I actually wish I wasn't like this but I am for better or worse.

 

[steamboat610]

Pretty sure my wife cheated on me last night with her boss, but I can't figure out for sure

 

[davenjenn]

Pretty sure my wife cheated on me last night with her boss, but I can't figure out for sure

Why do you think this?