The Isolated Blurt Thread V: For Vendetta

[JohnnySavage]

Payday

 

[yossi]

That's going on the list.

I wonder why the singular of movies isn't movy.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Speaking of gedunk; in the past hour I've eaten an entire box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls.

oinky mcoinkerston.

 

[Saint Peter]

I don't think that's a bad thing.

Losing the edge, I mean. Prolapsed butthole is a bad thing. To be clear.

Well, yes. We all want perfect buttholes. Life gives you what it gives you.

 

[Saint Peter]

..you know, like a box of chocolates and all of that...

 

[bluegypsy]

I'm sensing a pattern here.

 

[yossi]

..you know, like a box of chocolates and all of that...

Prolapsed butthole chocolates don't sound too appetizing.

 

[Laurel]

Well, yes. We all want perfect buttholes. Life gives you what it gives you.

Wise words. Can I quote you?

 

[Fata Morgana]

I now have a giant cold sore AND a hangover.

 

[Laurel]

Prolapsed butthole chocolates don't sound too appetizing.

You might be surprised.

Probably not, but you never know.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Now I've moved on to Cape Cod Waffle Cut Chips.

With cottage cheese and clams dip

 

[Saint Peter]

You might be surprised.

Probably not, but you never know.

I am going to need a new idea for my Writes of Spring contest submission.

 

[Phelia]

The best thing about being short sighted is that girls on the other side of the street are always pretty.

Ogden Nash

It's true. I'm really nearsighted, so across the street means all I see is a flesh-toned smear, and there is nothing more beautiful than that.

I feel the same way. I'd like to get my eyes fixed, but I've seen a lot of movies and tv shows where lasers completely blow off someone's head. That's a risk I don't know if I want to take.

I thought watching a video of the procedure might make me more comfortable with the whole idea.

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-25055-NOPE-octopus-gif-t6sT.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtSv3x6lh3o

Laughed myself to tears. There's no one like Carlin.

"What? They have bigger dicks? BOMB THEM!"

We do have a Boehner now!!

I've been going back and forth over LASIK for the past few years. On the one hand, it would be awesome to wake up and see clearly. On the other, I look fucking sexy in glasses, but I can't be one of those hipsters who wears frames without lenses, nor can I wear sunglasses 24/7.

First world conundrum.

Ah, I have the opposite problem! In addition to being nearsighted, my eyes also don't like to focus together (they are mavericks, going rogue), and that can't be corrected with surgery, so I'd still need to wear glasses to drive and stuff, which makes the whole thing seem less worthwhile. I do like how I look in glasses, though! They're like little face windows!

You look gorgeous in glasses

 

[pointless]

i stick with cheer camp sleepovers, thank you.

 

[Saint Peter]

Pussy.

 

[islandman]

I now have a giant cold sore AND a hangover.

Is "giant cold sore" a euphemism for the guy you dragged home?

 

[pointless]

well, yes. that is the main appeal. though i am getting sick of waiting the eighth one, but that stupid lesbian ghost stories thing and creeper family will work until the lazy bastards get their act together.

yay porn!

 

[dolf]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqm8JGnSshE

this is freakishly like when I ask my kids to do chores.

 

[Laurel]

My band will be named Fleshtoned Smear

 

[Fata Morgana]

Is "giant cold sore" a euphemism for the guy you dragged home?

Cunt.

 

[Mr Noone]

..you know, like a box of chocolates and all of that...

Or a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls.

 

[islandman]

I decide to go gluten-free for the w-e and the first thing I eat is pasta.

Perhaps I'll go willpower-free instead.

 

[lovetoread]

I have become obsessed with Dr Pol.

If his show is on I have to watch.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Where's my hunka-hunka burnin' love Johnny?

 

[Noor]

I decide to go gluten-free for the w-e and the first thing I eat is pasta.

Perhaps I'll go willpower-free instead.

Sounds like you have already gotten willpower-free down cold.

I have been gluten free for 27 years, it is much easier if you don't expect to eat things that traditionally have gluten in them. Good luck!