The Insult Thread

[AG31]

Judging by how quiet things are here, I suspect quite a few AHers are watching football.

And I can't think of an insult worse than that.

Soccer. We're watching soccer.

 

[StillStunned]

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Soccer. We're watching soccer.

Good point, that's even worse than watching football.

 

[TheLobster]

Good point, that's even worse than watching football.

Only suckers watch soccer.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Only suckers watch soccer.

Explains why your mom was watching it then.

 

[anthrodisiac]

You seem to like deep-throating a thesaurus.

I deep-throated a few thesauruses back in my day, some of the wordiest dinosaurs out there.

 

[TheLobster]

Explains why your mom was watching it then.

At least she doesn’t have feathers.

 

[anthrodisiac]

At least she doesn’t have feathers.

And thank goodness — a lobster would look silly with feathers; well, sillier than it already looks.

 

[sirhugs]

Soccer. We're watching soccer.

because watching the paint dry got you too excited?

 

[sirhugs]

And thank goodness — a lobster would look silly with feathers; well, sillier than it already looks.

sillier than it would look in army boots?

 

[SimonDoom]

Soccer. We're watching soccer.

To be a bit more accurate, if we're Americans:

1. We're watching soccer while standing on the sidelines, week after interminable week, watching our kids play on school teams or club teams, having driven unreasonably long distances to get to the matches to prove that we are good parents.
2. We're watching a few World Cup matches, every four years, with foreign players we've never heard of before.
3. Otherwise, we're probably not watching soccer.

 

[sirhugs]

To be a bit more accurate, if we're Americans:

1. We're watching soccer while standing on the sidelines, week after interminable week, watching our kids play on school teams or club teams, having driven unreasonably long distances to get to the matches to prove that we are good parents.

but we know that in reality you just volunteered to drive so you could scope out the MILFs whie pretending to watch your kid.

 

[SimonDoom]

but we know that in reality you just volunteered to drive so you could scope out the MILFs whie pretending to watch your kid.

This is so true.

One of my long-time works-in-progress has the working title Cindy Soccer Mom, based on that very experience.

 

[sirhugs]

This is so true.

One of my long-time works-in-progress has the working title Cindy Soccer Mom, based on that very experience.

and you're such a horndog that you don't even pretend to deny it...

 

[SimonDoom]

and you're such a horndog that you don't even pretend to deny it...

I don't consider "horndog" an insult! Certainly not in this forum.

 

[sirhugs]

I don't consider "horndog" an insult! Certainly not in this forum.

too dumb to even know when you've been insulted?

 

[SimonDoom]

too dumb to even know when you've been insulted?

Spoken like somebody who was perving on the soccer moms who weren't giving him the time of day.

 

[TheLobster]

 

[SimonDoom]

View attachment 2654188

Well, shit, I could yell at the clouds, but they don't yell back. That's no fun.

 

[sirhugs]

Spoken like somebody who was perving on the soccer moms who weren't giving him the time of day.

proudly perving, I will have you know...

 

[SimonDoom]

proudly perving, I will have you know...

"Perving on soccer moms" to the tune of "Breakfast at Tiffany's":

You say, we ain't got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're yelling online.

And I said, what about, perving on soccer moms?
You said, I think I remember the match and as I recall, I think
We both kinda liked it
I said, well that's one thing we've got.

 

[Wandering_Sen]

Your parents were respectable members of their cult....I mean community.

 

[SimonDoom]

Your parents were respectable members of their cult....I mean community.

They seemed like perfectly decent people whenever they let me out of the basement.

 

[sirhugs]

They seemed like perfectly decent people whenever they let me out of the basement.

but that was only for long enough for them to watch you have sex with your sister.

 

[yowser]

Only six (6!) stories here with the tag 'soccer moms'. I am astounded. Get to work everyone.

edit: okay, use the singular there's many more, but still less than a hundred.