The General Commentary Thread

[Remec]

Congratulations to the makers of A Social Sestina. You Did It!

Good job, gang...the whole thing slipped my mind, so I missed out. NExt time, for sure.

 

[Hotcoffee123]

Wow!

 

[Wonderer67]

@butters, with no intention to take anything away from the bite of your poem, I have to say that "pale weeds and broken asphalt" would be such a good title for a country song.

Reminds me of Car Wheels on a Gravel Road by Lucinda Williams.

 

[Angeline]

Reminds me of Car Wheels on a Gravel Road by Lucinda Williams.

I love that album. That and World Without Tears are my favorites of hers.

 

[Wonderer67]

I love that album. That and World Without Tears are my favorites of hers.

She’s an amazing musician and writer.

 

[Lyricalli]

I love that album. That and World Without Tears are my favorites of hers.

She’s an amazing musician and writer.

So cool that you're both Lucinda Williams fans, too. I've had the chance to see her in concert a few times, and she's always really good.

 

[AlinaX]

Great. Now I've got Al Green stuck in my head.

~ And how can you mend a broken heart?
~ How can you stop the rain from falling down?
~ Tell me, how can you stop the sun from shining?
~ What makes the world go 'round?

 

[JaySecrets]

Great. Now I've got Al Green stuck in my head.

Sharing is caring... unless it's an ear-worm. Thanks a lot.

 

[Ambient4190]

Hi JaySecrets - please, I would love to read your poem however you posted a Link? I don't click on links....is it possible to post the poem in the thread?

 

[Piscator]

Simple Truths

You loved Henry Miller, Saul Bellow. You loved Kerouac. I love you.

Actually I'd pass on all three - now Anais Nin ................is a different matter

 

[JaySecrets]

Hi JaySecrets - please, I would love to read your poem however you posted a Link? I don't click on links....is it possible to post the poem in the thread?

It was an off the cuff video of something composed on the fly. There is no written version, and it really only works as spoken word poetry. I will try to download that video onto my phone, but I don't know how to post that video onto here from there.

 

[HarryHill]

It was an off the cuff video of something composed on the fly. There is no written version, and it really only works as spoken word poetry. I will try to download that video onto my phone, but I don't know how to post that video onto here from there.

You should try Vocaroo.

 

[JaySecrets]

You should try Vocaroo.

That will do audio... Use it all the time. But will it do video? Because it is in video form.

 

[Angeline]

This is a quick drive-by post to say how impressed I am with the wonderful poems y'all have been producing of late. I feel like there's a really good vibe on the forum, people picking up inspiration from each other. I just read a bunch of poem-a-week pieces that I love. And who knew there are (well were) either cocktails? Sounds dangerous! And thanks to Tzara, my favorite purveyor of esoteric trivia in poetry for sharing *that* info.

Well done all of you. Thanks for the poems.

 

[Angeline]

Hey Mr Wat_Tyler, "Bad Wiring" is an exceptional piece of writing. Thank you for posting it.

 

[AlinaX]

A Thousand Watt-
LIGHT BULB!

I was, yesterday, wanting to metaphor a smile as a hundred-Watt light bulb, and got stuck wondering if that makes any sense in this new era of LEDs.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Hey Mr Wat_Tyler, "Bad Wiring" is an exceptional piece of writing. Thank you for posting it.

Awww, thank you very very much. I'm always surprised (seriously) when someone likes what falls out of my brain. I'm glad to have been received here. I reckon I'll keep coming back.

 

[42Below]

I was, yesterday, wanting to metaphor a smile as a hundred-Watt light bulb, and got stuck wondering if that makes any sense in this new era of LEDs.

lol not only are LEDS replacing lightbulbs, but Lighthouses are obsolete
Although a little clunky it would seem the poem still holds a secret

 

[Angeline]

lol not only are LEDS replacing lightbulbs, but Lighthouses are obsolete
Although a little clunky it would seem the poem still holds its secrets

It's a powerful poem and a great example of what erotic poetry can be imo. For all the (really like gazillion) graphic poems classified as erotic here, great metaphors and sustained images almost always work better.

I did wonder though about the use of "taunt" and whether you had meant "taur," but then I realized it works either way and maybe making that reference vague is intentional. Or not...I have an overactive imagination.

 

[42Below]

It's a powerful poem and a great example of what erotic poetry can be imo. For all the (really like gazillion) graphic poems classified as erotic here, great metaphors and sustained images almost always work better.

I did wonder though about the use of "taunt" and whether you had meant "taur," but then I realized it works either way and maybe making that reference vague is intentional. Or not...I have an overactive imagination.

lol I had to look taur up!

 

[Angeline]

lol I had to look taur up!

OMG sorry! I meant "taut"! I usually check my posts but I got a phone call and y'know...mea culpa.

ETA: I had to look taur up too. And I suppose it could also work in that line. Taunt, taut, taur...what the heck. Who knew?

 

[Chantalbliss]

Lovely dear Snow. Keep being you

 

[OttawaGuy50s]

Bathroom Mirror

I saw him again today,
beard was more white than grey
and even his eyebrows were starting
to blanch away,
paler and paler;

His eyes met mine, like always,
bagged and sort of glazed
like sinuses were troublin him
or he was simply on the edge of
being overwhelmed by the emotions
of being himself;

I wanted to ask why he kept
showing up like he did, no warning,
nothing common courtesy would require
but he never said anything, just moved his
lips and mocked my speakin to him;

Which was a pity, since I couldn't very well
not take the risk of seein him,
not if I wanted a decent shave
or to make sure I'd parted my hair properly;

If only I knew where he'd come from,
and how much longer he was planning on
appearing to me.

Belated wk 4

Great insight there my friend!

 

[Ambient4190]

Great insight there my friend!

agreed!

Bathroom Mirror by Remec so vivid, raw

 

[Wat_Tyler]

If you haven't read @puddle_girl , WTF are you waiting for???