the funniest part....

[playwithlezli]

Let's take a tongue in cheek look at our queer lives. Please folks, no politics, just a few good giggles.

To start:

A friend asked the other day how it was being in a lesbian relationship. I told her the food was good, the kitchen was clean but the car don't run worth shit......

 

[gargouille]

I'm mtf and I have no intention of getting bottom surgery. Someone asked me what I do with my cock when I'm not using it.

"My sugar mommy bought me a Tiffany blue box to keep it in. Alternatively, I keep it in a Victoria's Secret bag."

 

[playwithlezli]

I'm mtf and I have no intention of getting bottom surgery. Someone asked me what I do with my cock when I'm not using it.

"My sugar mommy bought me a Tiffany blue box to keep it in. Alternatively, I keep it in a Victoria's Secret bag."

LOL!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

When I was 18 and first moved to London, I was already crossdressing. One night leaving a club in Islington, I decide as I was still shy and worried about my safety, got a black cab home.

Next morning I woke up in the Cenral Middx Hospital, the cab had crashed & I had been rushed to the hospital unconscious. I can only imagine the surprise when they undressed me. I know that when I woke up I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

 

[shy slave]

Let's take a tongue in cheek look at our queer lives. Please folks, no politics, just a few good giggles.

To start:

A friend asked the other day how it was being in a lesbian relationship. I told her the food was good, the kitchen was clean but the car don't run worth shit......

Thanks for posting this, gave me a much needed laugh

 

[playwithlezli]

Thanks for posting this, gave me a much needed laugh

Yah, laffs have been understandably short around here lately. Got any funny stories to add? I notice you are a shy slave....perhaps you have a funny dom/sub story for us? Hmmmmmmmm. Just guessing of course but......

 

[gargouille]

Ahem.... Once Upon A Time in Shy's Master's Bed.... .

 

[Etoile]

I can't think of any funny stories offhand but I look forward to reading others' in this thread.

 

[Night_Jasmine]

LOL!

I keep getting asked for advice on women by my adopted brother. *giggles* I'm not sure who keeps getting more embarassed - me or him!

That's the only funny stuff that's happened to me since I've come out to my 'heart family.' Keep sharing everyone!

 

[Anniejustagirl]

My girl's birthday was just this past week.... so i brought flowers and chocolates to her at work.

Later on that day her boss commented on the flowers and asked where they came from. P told him and laughed at the look of consternation and the flush in his cheeks. She is very open for such a small midwestern town and i love to hear her small exchanges with the guys she works with.

 

[playwithlezli]

Nice one Annie!

We had one of our "glad we don't have roles" moments the other day.

C moved the fridge for me (all by herself), then screamed and ran away when she saw a spider. After I caught the spider and took it outside, she came back and straightened out the fridge.

 

[AussieAngel]

Nice one Annie!

We had one of our "glad we don't have roles" moments the other day.

C moved the fridge for me (all by herself), then screamed and ran away when she saw a spider. After I caught the spider and took it outside, she came back and straightened out the fridge.

LOL
Brilliant. hehe

 

[neonflux]

I love this thread, Lezli! Will try to come up with a contribution.

 

[playwithlezli]

Just realized this would cross post nicely to here-

LOL!-We were nattering on at one of my sons, making sure he had everything he needed for his stay in res at uni. Then I laughed and asked him how he liked having 2 moms, with a completely straight face, he looked at me and stated, "well, technically-I have 3" (His dad has remarried). I just about crashed the van laughing!

 

[angelkitty7888]

Backstory: Since i'm the (always financially doomed) college student, i live at home with my dad and step-mother. i was outed about a month ago but we've been getting along pretty well about it. they're sad and confused but willing to accept it as long as i'm happy so it's alright, but my stepmother is far worse than my father she's a 63-year-old biddy...

The other night we were sitting watching TV and a sex scene started between the two protagonists, my stepmother turns to me and says "Now that's what you are supposed to do with a guy!" it hadn't gotten much past groping and frenching (that always signals a scene change) so i turned to her and said "what's so good about that? I can do that with my girl and get a lot more enjoyment" she just sat there and stared at me with the funniest look on her face

 

[SophiaY]

Went lingerie shopping with my significant. We were looking at this fabulous bustier on a mannequin and I put my hand on her shoulder and said that it would look absolutely great on her – a nearby saleswoman gave us quite a knowing look… and my woman managed to turn a rather interesting shade of pink…

 

[playwithlezli]

So my gel and I went ice skating with a lesbian social group. It wasn't hard to pick us out, out of about 20 women everyone was wearing hockey skates (generally considered as "boy's skates") except for 2 of us that were wearing figure skates. Except they weren't the traditional white leather boots, these ones look like snowboard boots with blades on the bottom.

Talk about stereotypes!

 

[angelkitty7888]

work fun

Since i started college i've basically been 'Out' i talk about my girlfriend and even at work i have people ask me how she's doing and other good conversations like that.

While at work about a month ago (i make tacos etc.) one of the women working with me discovered i had a girlfriend. (i'd just told her i loved someone i'd never specified gender to her because she seemed a bit old fashioned. She's 40ish and definately some form of spanish) well one day my then boss asked about my girlfriend. i told her what was going on never realizing that the lady had been listening and was totally confused! She asked my boss about it (in some form of spanish) and my boss explained i had a girlfriend. well the rest of the night she was trying to wrap her mind around the concept she asked me things like "You push push chica?" and kept asking my boss questions like "do they tickle each other?" "how does that work?" "where do they get the penis?" and each time my boss would relate what they said to me and we were laughing about it the rest of the night (especially considering my boss answered with things like "a penis made of rubber" and "vibrators").... her favorite phrase towards me became "you Crazy" (insert hand motions) but she wasn't insulting she was trying to figure it out lol i couldn't help but laugh every time she went to ask my boss about it

she'll still calling me crazy but in all honesty i think it still confuses lol she'll always look at me quizically and smile... i think it really confuses her that i'm as normal as she is lol....

 

[Raimondin]

My partner-husband is a big guy. Bear type, goat-tee, muscles, tats, etc. One time late at night we decided to dine out and went to a Dennys. That night he did something he had never done before. He sat close next to me rather than opposite me. His arm stretched behind me resting on the seat booth we both were sharing the same menu. When the waitress finally came to take our order she practically froze when she saw us. "Oh, she said. Uh, do you guys need more time? "No, my husband replied. We do that at home, but we would like to order."
The look on her face was a Kodak moment!

When we were done and went up to pay the same waitress rang us up. As my husband handed her the credit card, she finally blurted out to him. "I think it's cool, the both of you. But when I saw your wedding band, I couldn't help think if your wife found out." "What?" My husband replied. "My "wife" is standing next to me." When he grabbed my left hand and showed her my ring. "Eight years together." Second Kodak moment look on her face. "Oh, but you don't look, uh, you're so masculine looking, you don't look the type," she says."
"Neither do you, dear," my husband replied. And we all had a good laugh. Here's your tip.

 

[Guest]

great thread!!

funny. lemme see ...........

oh yeah. i was helping a lesbian friend move house. so there i was with my jeans on and my black "dyke" vest tshirt. got her stereo up and running first and the first song i played was " i wanna fuck u like an animal"carrying boxes and bookcases into her new house, the typical image of a butchy girl.

when my friend that i was helping move joined me we had a laugh wondering what the neighbours were probably thinking. i said to her, this being london and all, esp in the suburbs where sh'd moved to i was sure the aunties were sitting next door having a good cuppa and gossiping bout the new lesbeans next door

so next morning we walk out of her new house and we walk into her new neighbours. the looked like they stepped outta queer as folk!! four gay guys living together

it wasnt as funny as it was that sense of WOW. funny how life works and all that

 

[SophiaY]

At a cocktail party some years ago, that sad line was cast at my significant: “I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.”

A sympathetic smile in response: “You don’t have to be trapped, I know a wonderful surgeon…”

Hasty retreat.

 

[angelkitty7888]

interesting part of living with my girlie and 2 gay roommates...

tonight my roommie and i decided we were going to have eggs benedict at 2 in the morning... (my roommie is a cooking school drop out) so she starts making holendaise sauce which requires intensive whisking while cooking. All of a sudden she turns to me and says "its times like these i'm grateful for _her girlfriend_ i can do this motion for a good 1/2 hour providing i get to change positions now and again!" i just lost it laughing and had to resurect this thread!