The Fat Man

[NoJo]

I have a very close friend who has been putting on weight continuoulsy since a bad break-up a couple of years ago. He now weighs 19st (266Lb).

He feels that he's now too fat to ever be considered attractive by anyone. I know there are some men who go for very (I mean very) large women. I guess there must be women who find fat men attractive.

(Anonymously) ladies: Let me know what you think of fat men. And don't try to be kind. I'm not going to show him the results or anything.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Honestly, and without any shame: I've been with a couple of fat guys. Fat doesn't necessarily make a guy unattractive. It's the personality that does it.

However, as I'm being honest, a guy with a grrrrrrrrrrreat body doesn't need to have a personality to turn me on.

 

[jfinn]

As long as someone is bright and fun and comfortable with themselves I don't care how much they weigh. Fact is if I were honest about it, I'd probably pick the guy with some extra poundage over some buff adonis, simply because my experiences have led me to believe Mr. Handsome wouldn't be nearly as considerate a lover as the guy who has to try harder cause he's not a god to look at.

Jayne

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Good-looking guys are never good in bed, simply because they never have had to be."
Sex And The City

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

body shape don't matter a damn, it's the guy inside that counts, can't say i'd have him on top though, giggle.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

What most people don't seem to realize is that just because a guy is fat, it doesn't necessarily means that he's heavy. I've been under many fat guys, and the weight sort of spreads out, you don't have all of it pressing on one point, it's more like being wrapped into a thick blanket.

 

[jfinn]

What most people don't seem to realize is that just because a guy is fat, it doesn't necessarily means that he's heavy. I've been under many fat guys, and the weight sort of spreads out, you don't have all of it pressing on one point, it's more like being wrapped into a thick blanket.

Also depends on how solid they are and how the weight's distributive. Unless you're talking orca fat (and at 19st your friend doesn't seem to qualify for that unless he's 4'll" like Diane) lots of heavy guys actually look better "nekked" than clothed.

Jayne

 

[NoJo]

Fat Fuck

When I first knew my fat friend he was slim and a very good-looking Mediterranean type. Now he looks like a crazed axe-murderer though.

The 10 votes so far seem to show that fat men are not generally considered attractive. One advantage he has is the "Cyrano" effect: He makes up for his appearance by being extra witty and smart -- i.e. by projecting an attractive personality.


I rather naively hope he'll get laid and that will give him back his self-esteem so he'll start really losing weight -- trouble is, he doesn't want to get "nekked" in front a woman until he's lost the weight. Catch-22.

I told him wanted to write a Lit. story based on him. He doesn't mind, in fact he was flattered, as long I title the story "Fat Fuck".

He has an attractive young-looking mother, so I suggested I write a story about him getting it on with his mother. He said "only if your mother can watch."

He has virtually hidden himself away from my other friends and family becasue he's so embarrassed about how fat he's become in such a short time. So I was touched when he appeared at my father's funeral a couple of weeks ago, where he had to face them all. He brought along a weird one-eyed friend and his M.I.L.F. mother.

He spoke to me candidly, for the first time, about his weight. One rather unplasant thing about being really fat, he told me, was that your dick shrinks. Just thought I'd share that with everyone.


Update: My fat friend has just lost 10 lbs after a detox course (mainly water loss, though).

 

[MercyMia]

Now it sounds like he can get nekked with a woman and burn more fat off?

I voted that the fat doesn't matter as much as the attitude (poor paraphrasing, but that's what I meant). The thing is ... fat can sometimes give a guy or woman an attitude. It becomes a chicken and egg pattern.

I wish him luck! Have you written the story, "Fat Fuck?"

 

[NoJo]

MercyMia,

You're so right about the "attitude" thing. In his case, he gives off a vibe like he's about to punch you out -- a "Hey what the fuck are looking at?" attitude. Which puts off both women and men. Which is just yet another layer of protection for his vulnerable ego. Shame.

No I haven't written "Fat Fuck". I haven't written a thing, my dear, for simply ages. Which is why I spend so much time lurking on this forum, I guess.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Fat Fuck

I rather naively hope he'll get laid and that will give him back his self-esteem so he'll start really losing weight -- trouble is, he doesn't want to get "nekked" in front a woman until he's lost the weight. Catch-22.

*snip*

He has virtually hidden himself away from my other friends and family becasue he's so embarrassed about how fat he's become in such a short time. So I was touched when he appeared at my father's funeral a couple of weeks ago, where he had to face them all. He brought along a weird one-eyed friend and his M.I.L.F. mother.

He spoke to me candidly, for the first time, about his weight. One rather unplasant thing about being really fat, he told me, was that your dick shrinks. Just thought I'd share that with everyone.

It SHRINKS??? You sure? It's not just that it looks small compared to the stomach?

Gee, what's the matter with those things, anyway? They grow long and hard when you're nervous or aroused or have just woken up, they shrink in cold or when you go fat... and here we women thought OUR bodies acted weird at times!

Jokes aside... Tell your friend from me, Joe, that sexiness really IS a matter of attitude. I weigh 115 kilos. Something like 250 pounds, right? I have loads of admirers. Always have. My hubby thinks I've got an incredibly sexy body. Why is this?

Because of my attitude. Instead of hiding in the dark, being embarrassed about my extra-padding, I flaunt my body, I show it, I'm proud of it, I'm proud of having so MUCH sexy body.
All the guys who have asked to watch me perform a strip-tease for them...

Too much self-criticism is much more of a turn-off than too much weight.

One of my ex's was rather fat. His belly wasn't a turn-on, but it wasn't a turn-off either. It was just a part of him, just like his nails, his elbows, his knees... Fat is NOT one of the things a woman focuses on when she's in bed with a guy.

Oh, and tell him from me not to try to wait with having sex until he gets slim. First of all, he might have to wait for a long time. Second, it's as important that he works on getting a better self-confidence as loosing weight. Otherwise, he's gonna lie there one night, slim and handsome, next to a woman, and still feel like he's fat and unsexy. He has to change his inside before he changes his outside.

Svenskaflicka
The WeightWatcher

 

[MathGirl]

Obesity

Everything else being equal (personality, etc.), I think most women would choose a well proportioned man. Your friend, though, has let his obesity have a negative effect on his personality.

If he's physically unattractive AND touchy and defensive, I wouldn't bet on his getting laid soon.

I'm lucky. My man tends to be on the skinny side. He's also charismatic, so he's ..... wonderful. <sigh>

MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I predict that Hubby will be chubby when he grow old. I can imagine him sitting at the kitchen table 30 years from now, in a plaid cotton shirt that strains a little over his belly, his hair grey, his reading glasses on, and he will have that roll of fat in the back of his neck that black men get.

Whow.

He's gonna be handsome even as an old man.

I'm so lucky.

(Knock on wood!)

 

[MathGirl]

I hate myself for this, but ...............

What's a real turn off is a man with a big belly who wears a shirt that's too small for him. The shirt rides up on his gut and displays a distended hairy stomach. He's an abdominal showman.

I tried not to do it. Really I did. I'm sorry. Arrrrgggghhhhh

The shame. The shame .........

MG

 

[jfinn]

Re: Re: Fat Fuck

It SHRINKS??? You sure? It's not just that it looks small compared to the stomach?

Gee, what's the matter with those things, anyway? They grow long and hard when you're nervous or aroused or have just woken up, they shrink in cold or when you go fat... and here we women thought OUR bodies acted weird at times!

Svenskaflicka
The WeightWatcher

It's not that the penis actually shrinks it's more that when you gain weight, you gain weight everywhere including the pubic area. This makes it puff up and which means the little darling gets partially buried, and so looks like it's "shrunk".

Jayne (who probably knows more about this kind of crap than is good for her)

 

[Just-Legal]

19st?

My sister is 21st. No bull. She's also got three different extremely cute guys chasing her.

Why?

They LOVE her personality. Say one thing for her, she is really friendly and positive. She hasn't always been this way, but has learnt from the past its better to be this way.

James, my partner, is about 19st, and I have no problems, positional or otherwise.

*grin*

 

[NoJo]

Re: Re: Fat Fuck

It SHRINKS??? You sure? It's not just that it looks small compared to the stomach?

Can't say I'm an expert, but he said it's something to do with blood pressure, as well as the size of the surrounding areas. (As my F.F. says, "I can't see the point of life anymore, unless I look in a mirror").

BTW For what it's worth, I usually find large women sexy. Also small women. Actually, I kind of like zebus, ibexes and elk too.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Fat Fuck

BTW For what it's worth, I usually find large women sexy. Also small women. Actually, I kind of like zebus, ibexes and elk too.

A caveat for the newcomers:

SubJoe finds most all homeothermic animals attractive. He usually prefers higher orders, but poultry will do if he's in one of his moods.

He seems to have an ungulate fixation right now, but you should never turn your back on him.

MG

 

[Pookie]

My point of view...

Being overweight is not the big issue when it comes to a guy. I have a friend from high school that is huge! But I LOVED hanging out with him. He was so much fun to be around. We got to be very close friends, sharing alot about each other, when we did have time alone. We were never intimate though. I don't know if we ever would have been. I had bf's most of the time I knew him. He also had a gf much of the time too. We will never know.

As long as being overweight doesn't get in the way of a guy's personality, it won't affect my feelings for him much. I will either be attracted to him, or I won't based on a number of things. If he is just being sloppy and doesn't care about his body, it will definately affect me.

Being overweight makes it harder for a guy or chick to make a first impression if they are trying to hook someone. But if all a person chooses their friends and lovers by is their body size, then I think they are the wrong kind of friend to be pursuing.

Pookie

 

[Pookie]

Oh ... I didn't vote either because the option I would choose isn't there:

"totally depends on what he's like"


"Fatness is irrelevent" isn't quite true. It is relevant, just not the deciding factor necessarily.


Pookie

 

[SexyChele]

Well, I'm actually one of those women who prefers her men to be more on the heavy side. Now, if his belly is hanging down to his knees, that is not attractive at all. However, that is a very small percentage of people out there.

I am in no way a small woman, so a larger man makes me feel more comfortable. Plus, there is nothing quite like cuddling up to a guy who has a few extra pounds on him. Like a great big teddy bear! And yeah, I LOVE guys with tummys! Reminds me a bit of buddah, you know?

However, if a man is not confident in who he is and what he is, that is a complete turn off - no matter the size. We are all visual to some extent, but as the saying goes: after the first 5 minutes, you better have something more than a great body.

Weight is something that can be worked on. Your friend can begin to watch what he eats and start some sort of exercise program to help get himself back into a comfortable shape. Simply sitting around doing nothing is the pathetic part. He needs to go out with friends as well. Shutting oneself away doesn't do any good. Yes, sometimes friends will give people a bit of a teasing, but if they understand their friend is trying to do something about their weight, most will be supportive and try to think of ways to help.

I wish your friend well, and tell him there are indeed women who like their men larger!

 

[SlickTony]

One rather unplasant thing about being really fat, he told me, was that your dick shrinks.

I don't think it shrinks so much as it tends to get lost in the layer of fat that surrounds it--I think Jayne is right.

and he will have that roll of fat in the back of his neck that black men get.

I hadn't known your husband was black, Svenskaflicka. Guess I didn't pick up on it. Cool!

 

[MathGirl]

Disbelief

I still can't believe I got away with "abdominal showman." I thought there would be a feeding frenzy.
MG

 

[NoJo]

MG, I "speed-red" past it.
Adipose it's quite funny.
I'll forward your post to my friend. He could do a good belly laugh, and will be fattered to know that there's a whole thread about him.

 

[PixieSteph]

I'll forward your post to my friend. He could do a good belly laugh, and will be fattered to know that there's a whole thread about him.

"Fattered" - quite the typo there

Is your friend addressing his overeating? I understand breaking up with someone can be stressful but he's got to take control of his bad habits . . .