The everything about rape topic.

[Netzach]

*snorts* I U

backatcha.

Well, come on now.

I have dark id-based drives, I'm a freaking human ape, even if I have a pussy and the attendant hormones. How come when I say that it's like, idiotic?

Why can't we simply expect men not to rape as the price of being in a fucking society? Instead of wondering what she was wearing or doing or whether they're would-be Doms or whatever.

I will say that the price to the fucking society is being less fucking stupid about the subject of sex, period. If all we're left with are these dark ids running around with no conversation education or outlets, of course we're all fucked.

 

[HisSexyPet]

You're joking right? Again an insult to all the decent men I know.

I am sorry if I am being dense. But decent men don't go out and rape. So how could talking about a rapist be an insult to all the decent men?

 

[nh23]

I also think that people who go out in their right mind (probably not the best words to describe) to commit rape are actual a Dom who hasn't realized or found a sub for a partner. Or a dom who only wants to be with a woman once before moving on, it's tricky to say. Or just has a strong non-con dominant fetish, and that they need to find someone willing to be dominated, although then the person wanting to commit rape would know they are actually consenting even when acting like there not and it would lose it's appeal. Tricky.

I am sorry if I am being dense. But decent men don't go out and rape. So how could talking about a rapist be an insult to all the decent men?

Read it again.

 

[nh23]

Me too?

I should apologize. I'm really bad at explaining things, especially if I start writing too much and get too into it.

Sorry.

I don't think it has anything to do with dominance. In the D/s sense anyway.

 

[DormantEvil]

I thought she meant I was saying anyone who had those dominant urges was who I was talking about in my post?

Now I'm confused. Why do I also end up confusing myself?

OH!

Is it because I split it up into two or three Or this Or that parts? It's probably better all as one long sentence since it's meant to be all about a rapist...I have a tendency to drag on and write what I am thinking. And that often doesn't transfer over well.

And yes, dominance was only one of my thoughts about it. But there would be a whole lot more.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Tigers: rapists or noncommital fuckbuddies? You decide.

Rapists: The Original Doms?

no wait...

Tigers: The Original Doms?

 

[DormantEvil]

lol

Yeah, being a Dom doesn't mean your a rapist, and having dominant urges over someone doesn't make you a rapist. Just so I'm clear I don't think that all Dom's or people with dominant urges are rapists.

I just think that those urges may play a role, along with many other things. With that probably being one of the lesser ones. But it's hard to say someone has a submissive urge yet will hold someone down forcibly and enjoy raping them, although they might I don't know.

Right, bedtime for me, I'll let myself confuse myself too many times tonight. Night everyone.

 

[HisSexyPet]

Read it again.

I have reread it. I understood it to be about the rapist having dom tendencies. That does not mean all Doms are rapist, just as all rapists do not have dom tendencies.

 

[nh23]

I have reread it. I understood it to be about the rapist having dom tendencies. That does not mean all Doms are rapist, just as all rapists do not have dom tendencies.

And they just haven't found a partner yet, or only want sex with a woman once.

Hmm...what do we know about rape? What's it all about. It has nothing to do with not having a partner, it has nothing to do with sex.

 

[HisSexyPet]

I am bowing out of this thread. I can't seem to get my thoughts across properly. So best that I just not try.

 

[ZRT]

Hmm...what do we know about rape? What's it all about. It has nothing to do with not having a partner, it has nothing to do with sex.

Disagree strongly with the last.

For some it's not about sex. It's some other kind of game- power, danger, whatever.

For some, it's about taking friction from the nearest available orifice without consideration for the possessor of that orifice.

As Netz said, and as I've said before, there are many types and motivations.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Ultramarineblue - so sorry about your friend. How can she be forced to report it - and then not have the police beleive her!? Honestly, I thought that police have to remian neutral until it goes through the courts...?

They never caught the guy so it didn't go through the courts. The police were just jerks. She was pretty messed up for a long time.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Disagree strongly with the last.

For some it's not about sex. It's some other kind of game- power, danger, whatever.

For some, it's about taking friction from the nearest available orifice without consideration for the possessor of that orifice.

As Netz said, and as I've said before, there are many types and motivations.

What part of "rape is a crime of power, not sex" do you not understand?

 

[rumara]

i agree. rape isn't about sex. and for what it's worth, doms may have rape/ non con fantasies, but i've found that the dominant men i've been involved with are motivated at least in part by the pleasure they can give their subs, which is an entirely different kind of power.

 

[nh23]

Disagree strongly with the last.

For some it's not about sex. It's some other kind of game- power, danger, whatever.

For some, it's about taking friction from the nearest available orifice without consideration for the possessor of that orifice.

As Netz said, and as I've said before, there are many types and motivations.

*shrugs* ok It doesn't make sense to me that way. If it's just about friction and an orifice why not just get a hooker.

 

[bridgeburner]

I've said it before and elsewhere, but have no problem with repeating:

If it's nothing to do with sex then what's with all the fucking?

This idea that has become so popular as to be accepted as fact that rape has nothing to do with sex springs from well-meant but ultimately incorrect politicking on the part of rape awareness advocates.

The more accurrate view is that rape has nothing to do with "how sexy" --- IOW the dominant belief in the bad old days (You know, up until the late 80's) was that women could provoke perfectly ordinary men to rape by being too sexy for their own good. This was not only a horrific blaming of the victim but an insult to men everywhere.


The plain truth of the matter is that rape IS about sex even if only inasmuch as sex is the vehicle for inflicting abuse or exerting control or demonstrating power or whatever OTHER motivation there is. Rape requires more than just horniness on the part of the rapist, but there cannot be rape if there is no sexual element. That's just plain old assault.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I've said it before and elsewhere, but have no problem with repeating:

If it's nothing to do with sex then what's with all the fucking?

This idea that has become so popular as to be accepted as fact that rape has nothing to do with sex springs from well-meant but ultimately incorrect politicking on the part of rape awareness advocates.

The more accurrate view is that rape has nothing to do with "how sexy" --- IOW the dominant belief in the bad old days (You know, up until the late 80's) was that women could provoke perfectly ordinary men to rape by being too sexy for their own good. This was not only a horrific blaming of the victim but an insult to men everywhere.


The plain truth of the matter is that rape IS about sex even if only inasmuch as sex is the vehicle for inflicting abuse or exerting control or demonstrating power or whatever OTHER motivation there is. Rape requires more than just horniness on the part of the rapist, but there cannot be rape if there is no sexual element. That's just plain old assault.

We got into all this in the last rape thread and someone posted a link to a study showing that there's some truth, sometimes, in the "power not sex" theory. I just don't think it applies 100% of the time.

For some rapists (the ones I understand), rape is about power expressed sexually.

 

[nh23]

I've said it before and elsewhere, but have no problem with repeating:

If it's nothing to do with sex then what's with all the fucking?

This idea that has become so popular as to be accepted as fact that rape has nothing to do with sex springs from well-meant but ultimately incorrect politicking on the part of rape awareness advocates.

The more accurrate view is that rape has nothing to do with "how sexy" --- IOW the dominant belief in the bad old days (You know, up until the late 80's) was that women could provoke perfectly ordinary men to rape by being too sexy for their own good. This was not only a horrific blaming of the victim but an insult to men everywhere.


The plain truth of the matter is that rape IS about sex even if only inasmuch as sex is the vehicle for inflicting abuse or exerting control or demonstrating power or whatever OTHER motivation there is. Rape requires more than just horniness on the part of the rapist, but there cannot be rape if there is no sexual element. That's just plain old assault.

I can see it this way. I just don't think it's about sex in the sense that men are just horny, or can't help themselves. Yes it's sex, but I think there is more motivation behind it. Otherwise I can't imagine why they wouldn't just jerk off, or get a hooker, or find someone who is willing.

 

[00Syd]

if rape is about power and not about sex, then, like Bridgeburner said, why all the fucking? Why not just beat some chick up? There are so many other ways to show power than sex. Sure, power often plays into the motivations, but I'm pretty sure that a warm hole plays into the motivations as well.

 

[nh23]

if rape is about power and not about sex, then, like Bridgeburner said, why all the fucking? Why not just beat some chick up? There are so many other ways to show power than sex. Sure, power often plays into the motivations, but I'm pretty sure that a warm hole plays into the motivations as well.

But using a warm hole is a whole different power than beating someone up. Someone who is just beat up probably doesn't have the same emotional roller coaster as someone who has been raped. It's violating someone in the most intimate way. Taking something from them.

 

[bridgeburner]

I don't know if this is an American phenomenon or a Western one or just a human one, but we dislike dealing in gray areas especially when it comes to rape. We want rape to be black and white:

• Rape is not about sex - it's about power
• Any sex without explicit consent is rape
• Any sexual contact with a child is rape
• All rape is rape --- there are no gradiations

The problem with these hard and fast definitions is that however much we might repeat them and claim that they are true, we often don't believe them.


I think I've pretty well explained my view on rape and sex and power. If rape wasn't about sex there'd be no sex. If rape had nothing to do with sex it wouldn't be such a popular fetish/sexual fantasy. Rape is about non-consentual sex. It's the lack of consent that makes sex rape.

But consent can be a slippery fish. How explicit must it be? Should there be a signed contract? Is the lack of protest enough? If consent is revoked, how quickly must the other party comply?

The problem with all of those questions is that most people agree to a large extent, but it's difficult to codify into law because situations vary and "mitigating circumstances" exists because the law recognizes that it cannot cover every eventuality.

Consent is a huge topic.

And what about children? This is perhaps the touchiest issue and the one in which we are least likely to accept any sort of gray area. I'm not even going to attempt to explore it at the moment, but I'm sure we'll get to it.

All of the preceding goes to shore up the idea that not all rape is equal. We do not have the same reactions nor ask the same questions when faced with differing situations.

 

[bridgeburner]

Here's a question I don't think I've ever seen asked: When dealing with rape are we more concerned with punishing offenders or healing victims? Do you think that our focus is correct?

 

[nh23]

Here's a question I don't think I've ever seen asked: When dealing with rape are we more concerned with punishing offenders or healing victims? Do you think that our focus is correct?

In my case neither happened. It was all shoved under the rug. So I can't be subjective about it.

I can't be subjective about any of this I suppose. I find it impossible to believe the man who abused me did it just because it was a warm hole. I was five for god's sake. There had to be some motivation. I have a really hard time with that.

Rape fantasy's sure I have them, have done rape roleplay. It is nothing, nothing like actually being abused. There isn't even a comparison.

 

[bridgeburner]

I just don't think it's about sex in the sense that men are just horny, or can't help themselves. Yes it's sex, but I think there is more motivation behind it.

I wholeheartedly agree. It takes a certain kind of narcissism to rape. A certain disregard for the wishes of others and a willingness to override those wishes with force, if necessary, in order to achieve one's own ends.

 

[JMohegan]

Tigers: rapists or noncommital fuckbuddies? You decide.

As far as I can tell, tiger fucking is more like dancing in the end zone. Celebration after he's bested the other males.