The everything about rape topic.

[Betticus]

Shouldn't have clicked.

 

[PertPerth]

From what I understand castration doesn't help. Perhaps a lobotomy instead.

I thought that castration was the only thing that actually did work...?
*shrugs*
All I know, is that my kids (when I have kids) will get the talk early. Information is power. Also, they'll never be left alone in the same room as my brother.

Ultramarineblue - so sorry about your friend. How can she be forced to report it - and then not have the police beleive her!? Honestly, I thought that police have to remian neutral until it goes through the courts...?

 

[NymphGoddess]

From what I understand castration doesn't help. Perhaps a lobotomy instead. I don't understand at all how or why the excuse of passed on behaviours comes up in child abuse cases as when the difference between right and wrong is clearly known by an adult or teen or even kids.. there is still a cognizant choice being made to physically perform the act of abuse. I can recognize the concept at a high level but understanding it isn't within my realm of expertise. I don't think that my abuses however small have any bearing on my fetishes.

I like your idea better....and I understand your response....I'm just a bit protective of this family member of mine....folks who do that need to have the maximum punishment....in any form it might take. abuse is wrong...that's all there is to it

 

[CuteBrat]

I don't know you and yet, I already like you for some reason.

((curtsy))

 

[FurryFury]

Does incestuous molestation count if you were too young to consent but didn't object?

Yes, it counts legally and emotionally.

There are many reasons one might not object or fight off a loved one or family member but that doesn't mean it wasn't a violation - even if one orgasms from it or enjoys it in some way.

 

[Bandit58]

I posted this a few years ago on another thread. The person who did this was my fiance, and he became my husband a few months later. I was married to him for 23 years. He was my first sexual partner and remained so until after I left him in 2002.

I was only 18.

He was drunk and we'd gone on a rugby trip for the weekend (he used to play). I'd gone to bed earlier because I had a headache and so I was asleep when he came into the room at about 2am. I heard him staggering about getting undressed and then he got into the bed and rolled over and grabbed me. He pushed my legs apart and entered me and god it hurt so much.....I tried to push him off but he was too strong and just kept going, all I remember is pain and fear cos he wouldn't stop, I remember trying to tell him to get off but he wouldn't listen. It seemed to go on for ages......when he finished he just rolled over and went to sleep and I lay there petrified and in shock. Why I stayed with him I'll never know.......if I'd broken up with him then I would have saved myself years of grief. But I was afraid even then......of his reaction, of being alone......he was my first boyfriend and the first person to show interest in me, my self esteem was non existent and I thought no one else would want me.

Over the years I thought I hated sex, but it was much later that I knew it was sex with HIM that I hated. He did a good job of blaming me for my lack of response. Once a week I was raped by my own husband. It wasn't so bad in the beginning.......I didn't know any different and when the kids came along I concentrated on them.......but they grew up and I started doing anything I could to avoid going to bed with him, hoping he would be asleep when I finally did.......it worked sometimes......and when I was menstruating that's when I caught up on my sleep because he wouldn't touch me then......I could relax

 

[MissKaycee]

I haven't read through the entire thread so excuse me if this has already been said.

Child molestation, expecially Incestuos is the worst thing that can happen (sexually) to you or someone you love.
The child who was assulted goes through adolescence messed up and this leads to so many problems in life as they grow up.

It can never be consentual as the child does not know what they are doing. They dont understand the consequences and they may feel they are obligated due to a relationship with the molester. If the child is under, say 10, they will not know that this is a very bad thing but will remember it always.

It leads to warped sexual desires and generally a hatred for people involved if they did nothing to stop it, or who would hate the child if they knew.

One of the worst things is knowing that if it is incestuos and the molester is a grandparent, most likely no one will ever believe your story and if you tell family mambers they will most likely call you a lier and never speak to you again.

~Kaycee

EDIT: Plus I know what I'm talking about with the messed up part. My grandfather continually rubbed and fingered my vagina while I pretended it wasn't happening. My family was in the next room with the door wide open but no one ever knew. This went on from when I was around 4 till 12 when he died. Plus a boy in year 2 would finger me in class, did the teacher or anyone else see? I don't think so. And finally my female cousin who was 3 years older than me used to play with me like I was her personal sex doll, tied up and pashed under the age of 8 (I reckon she was molested by my grandfather also so didn't know it was wrong).
During this whole time I thought these were all games that people played cause that's what they all told me. But when I realised they weren't, I felt so dirty I cried myself to sleep for a week.
Child molestation ruins lives!

 

[PertPerth]

I haven't read through the entire thread so excuse me if this has already been said.

Child molestation, expecially Incestuos is the worst thing that can happen (sexually) to you or someone you love.
The child who was assulted goes through adolescence messed up and this leads to so many problems in life as they grow up.

It can never be consentual as the child does not know what they are doing. They dont understand the consequences and they may feel they are obligated due to a relationship with the molester. If the child is under, say 10, they will not know that this is a very bad thing but will remember it always.

It leads to warped sexual desires and generally a hatred for people involved if they did nothing to stop it, or who would hate the child if they knew.

One of the worst things is knowing that if it is incestuos and the molester is a grandparent, most likely no one will ever believe your story and if you tell family mambers they will most likely call you a lier and never speak to you again.



~Kaycee

I have never told anyone in my family that my brother molested me - as you said, it can cause stress/fighting for the entire family. I also was scared that my brother would hurt me more. I moved out before he did...I was 21.

I never really though of what happened with my brother being the reason for my interest in kink. I guess that is the difference between consensual sex/rape play and true rape.

 

[Betticus]

Oh boy!!! The interweb is a useful tool.. I found a neat book written by a psychologist back in the '50's.. should be an interesting read. This is and excerpt from the forward:

The rape of the mind and stealthy mental coercion are among the oldest crimes of mankind. They probably began back in pre historic days when man first discovered that he could exploit human qualities of empathy and understanding in order to exert power over his fellow men. The word "rape" is derived from the Latin word _rapere_, to snatch, but also is related to the words to rave and raven. It means to overwhelm and to enrapture, to invade, to usurp, to pillage and to steal.

The modern words "brainwashing," "thought control," and "menticide" serve to provide a clearer conception of the actual methods by which man's integrity can be violated. When a concept is given its right name, it can be more easily recognized and it is with this recognition that the opportunity for systematic correction begins.

In this book the reader will find a discussion of some of the imminent dangers which threaten free cultural interplay. It emphasizes the tremendous cultural implication of the subject of enforced mental intrusion. Not only the artificial techniques of coercion are important but even more the unobtrusive intrusion into our feeling and thinking.

 

[MissKaycee]

I have never told anyone in my family that my brother molested me - as you said, it can cause stress/fighting for the entire family. I also was scared that my brother would hurt me more. I moved out before he did...I was 21.

I never really though of what happened with my brother being the reason for my interest in kink. I guess that is the difference between consensual sex/rape play and true rape.

I personally feel that people that have been forced to do sexual acts without consenting like the idea of rape play and consensual rape as it makes them feel they have more control that what they did when they were raped/molested.

 

[Betticus]

I have never told anyone in my family that my brother molested me - as you said, it can cause stress/fighting for the entire family. I also was scared that my brother would hurt me more. I moved out before he did...I was 21.

I never really though of what happened with my brother being the reason for my interest in kink. I guess that is the difference between consensual sex/rape play and true rape.

It makes sense that abuse could be a contributor to kink, especially when it happens in youth as the mental patterning would be in place during the time when the brain is still maturing and adapting to the environment. A few months ago I read a fascinating book written by a neuroscientist up in New York who has been studying the connections with memory, neuron formation and information processing. He gave an example for patterned behaviour with observations on how some people continually select the worst partners, men who are abusive, etc... The book dealt more specifically with how to discontinue using unhealthy behaviours and replacing those in time with better ones. He shows how stunningly fast the brain can break down and repattern neural networks that support poor behaviours as well. Something in the span of twenty to thirty days if I recall correctly.

This of course does nothing to explain all of the people involved in kink that have no history of abuse. I lean more toward the idea that we are naturally this way and that abuse if just far more prevalent than is ever reported and that the vanilla world is really looking for every tactic to explain our way of thinking. Trying to rationalize something that they cannot understand.

 

[PertPerth]

I personally feel that people that have been forced to do sexual acts without consenting like the idea of rape play and consensual rape as it makes them feel they have more control that what they did when they were raped/molested.

I always thought my kink/desire to be dominated was more from my mothers views on sex. I come from a home where women were not supposed to want sex - so for it to be "taken", makes it okay.

 

[Betticus]

I always thought my kink/desire to be dominated was more from my mothers views on sex. I come from a home where women were not supposed to want sex - so for it to be "taken", makes it okay.

Was that some way to assuage religious guilt about enjoying sex?

 

[satindesire]

One thing I will never be able to come to terms with is the fact that one of my only childhood memories is when a family member molested me when I was very small (4 years old).

I didn't know what to do, but even at such a young age I understood that what happened was somehow an invasion of my privacy and innocence. I told my mother but no charges were ever pressed. I'm still resentful for that.

 

[PertPerth]

Was that some way to assuage religious guilt about enjoying sex?

Yes, she was raised as Catholic. She's always had issues with how much easier women have it these days - and feels the need to take it out on me in a back-handed sort of way. Nothing was ever really said, but her only dating advice was, and I quote "keep your legs crossed".

 

[JMohegan]

I like the way tigers fuck.

The male holds the female down and keeps her from moving by biting the scruff of her neck. Then he sexes her from behind.

Tigers taught me alot.

Tiger sex, fuck yeah.

 

[DormantEvil]

I'd look at it more from the point if you are having sex with someone who hasn't consented, due to them being unconscious, gagged before consent was given, drunk, drugged etc then you are committing rape. If both parties cannot consent due to being drugged or drunk etc then it's odd and I would probably say because neither were in control that it couldn't be considered rape unless both people considered themselves as a raper, and a rapee. I'm not sure if they are actual words. This is my first thought on that subject.

I also think that people who go out in their right mind (probably not the best words to describe) to commit rape are actual a Dom who hasn't realized or found a sub for a partner. Or a dom who only wants to be with a woman once before moving on, it's tricky to say. Or just has a strong non-con dominant fetish, and that they need to find someone willing to be dominated, although then the person wanting to commit rape would know they are actually consenting even when acting like there not and it would lose it's appeal. Tricky.

People shouldn't go out and drink so much they cannot object, stop doing that so you can have a better chance of fighting. At least fighting shows you tried your best to stop it, that is rape without question. Too many people get blind drunk and complain the next day when they wake up and have been used, it's stupid to do that over and over again. And they not learning from their mistakes etc.

 

[Netzach]

Tiger sex, fuck yeah.

Tigers: rapists or noncommital fuckbuddies? You decide.

 

[Netzach]

I also think that people who go out in their right mind (probably not the best words to describe) to commit rape are actual a Dom who hasn't realized or found a sub for a partner. Or a dom who only wants to be with a woman once before moving on, it's tricky to say. Or just has a strong non-con dominant fetish, and that they need to find someone willing to be dominated, although then the person wanting to commit rape would know they are actually consenting even when acting like there not and it would lose it's appeal. Tricky.

If only all these would be Doms had stable submissives in their lives they would not attack women, how unfortunate? If only you'd fought hard enough?

Fail.

I'd say rage, frusrtration, inability to cope with one's own total LACK of control in their own life, and a good dose of clinical sadism, perhaps past abuse, definitely prior messages that it's OK and it's really her fault and not yours are more the ingredients. And gee, where could they be getting the idea that it is her fault?

Some rapists have the quality of dominating their victim, many also rape because they're precisely so far from dominating anything at all. Motivations and types vary.

 

[Netzach]

It makes sense that abuse could be a contributor to kink, especially when it happens in youth as the mental patterning would be in place during the time when the brain is still maturing and adapting to the environment. A few months ago I read a fascinating book written by a neuroscientist up in New York who has been studying the connections with memory, neuron formation and information processing. He gave an example for patterned behaviour with observations on how some people continually select the worst partners, men who are abusive, etc... The book dealt more specifically with how to discontinue using unhealthy behaviours and replacing those in time with better ones. He shows how stunningly fast the brain can break down and repattern neural networks that support poor behaviours as well. Something in the span of twenty to thirty days if I recall correctly.

This of course does nothing to explain all of the people involved in kink that have no history of abuse. I lean more toward the idea that we are naturally this way and that abuse if just far more prevalent than is ever reported and that the vanilla world is really looking for every tactic to explain our way of thinking. Trying to rationalize something that they cannot understand.

I think it's partly ingrained, but HOW it expresses itself, of course, is going to be subject to your past and your life, which is where it gets interesting to consider.

 

[nh23]

I also think that people who go out in their right mind (probably not the best words to describe) to commit rape are actual a Dom who hasn't realized or found a sub for a partner. Or a dom who only wants to be with a woman once before moving on, it's tricky to say. Or just has a strong non-con dominant fetish, and that they need to find someone willing to be dominated, although then the person wanting to commit rape would know they are actually consenting even when acting like there not and it would lose it's appeal. Tricky.

You're joking right? Again an insult to all the decent men I know.

 

[DormantEvil]

Good thing Tigers are interested in the cubs and not the fathers XD Plus she has some good claws, as do most women and flesh and eye sockets are a lovely soft area of the male anatomy. If I was ever to be raped I hope I could at least take a piece of him with me, hell I'll smash my own nose if it means breaking his just to cause him some pain.

But then again, I've never been raped so I don't really know what it would be like and if I could do anything. Just my luck I'd get some master of rape and wake up tied down so I couldn't do shit.

Edit: nh23 - I wasn't saying that it was a normal thing in any way, it's disgusting. That's the difference between the decent men who don't give into those urges and instead find a healthy alternative, and those filth that rape.

I wasn't insulting men who don't commit rape, it was more outlining a possible hidden urge. But that doesn't make it any more foul an act. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[Netzach]

You're joking right? Again an insult to all the decent men I know.

Until I had D/s explained to me, I just kept on slipping my bf's roofies and putting plunger handles up their butts! I couldn't help myself!

 

[nh23]

Until I had D/s explained to me, I just kept on slipping my bf's roofies and putting plunger handles up their butts! I couldn't help myself!

*snorts* I U

 

[DormantEvil]

Me too?

I should apologize. I'm really bad at explaining things, especially if I start writing too much and get too into it.

Sorry.