Gilly Bean
Princess Spanky Pants
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2001
- Posts
- 7,173
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake entire relationships.
*Sharon Stone
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
don't like and just give her a house.
*Rod Stewart
Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
*Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal winner
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an
airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
*Henry Kissinger
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for
black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
*Tiger Woods
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
*Barbara Bush
And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame
everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
*George Burns
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men
everywhere? "Hold my purse."
*Sandra Bullock
My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's
reading.
*Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive
scrotum!"
*Patricia Arquette
Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a
man's genitals through his wallet.
*Robin Williams
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
*Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
*Robert De Niro
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
*Dustin Hoffman
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
*Robin Williams
*Sharon Stone
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
don't like and just give her a house.
*Rod Stewart
Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
*Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal winner
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an
airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
*Henry Kissinger
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for
black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
*Tiger Woods
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
*Barbara Bush
And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame
everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
*George Burns
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men
everywhere? "Hold my purse."
*Sandra Bullock
My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's
reading.
*Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive
scrotum!"
*Patricia Arquette
Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a
man's genitals through his wallet.
*Robin Williams
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
*Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
*Robert De Niro
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
*Dustin Hoffman
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
*Robin Williams
