The emotional thrill vs. the physical thrill

[InnerDarkness]

I was reading the thread about "How do you like it?" and it got me to thinking...most people were mentioning what type of pain they like...what physical sensations they enjoy...

I think it was Anelize that said she enjoyed the act of submission, which for me seemed to be more of emotional/mental sensation.

So my question is this...

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

For me...I love the sting of having my ass spanked...and I love the feeling of being pinned down under body weight, but it is the mental head game that really gets me going...the look as He speaks to me...the sound of his voice...the way my body reacts...

What about you?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

This should spark some interest if i haven't missed the answers elsewhere.

Anyone have the phrase "vicious cycle" rolling through their neurons and getting the same chuckle?

i think they ultimately feed off each other regardless of your intent. i get very emotionally involved with the physical aspect.

i've heard submissives speak of dropping into sub space. Heard them describe warmth, darkness, and floating. i quite simply burn when i hit top space. How do you separate emotion from something as powerful as that?

And just to throw a twist in the knickers of this conversation, if a voice calmly speaks to you during the administration of pain, doesn't that jangle the nerves even more?

Sure, i like using cruel speech with the right menacing intonation as well executing a hard spank, but imagine discussing something offhand while performing the same physical act.

Ever sweet talk or get sweet talked to while in the middle of a sadistic romp? i can think of only word to describe it ... delicious.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For me the two are so intertwined it is impossible for me to differentiate a preference for one over the other. I only have to hear his voice, feel his touch, submit to him and I am gone one way or another...it all seems to flow together. I think also being 24/7, married, and spending a big percentage of our time together contributes to my inability to make a distinct division as theoretically we do not have times when we are vanilla and times when lifestyle so I am always subject to his dominance and feel it in the most innocent of looks. Without the pain I would not be fulfilled, but similarly I would not be fulfilled without the emotional either....there has to be a balance of both.

Catalina

 

[morninggirl5]

Without the pain I would not be fulfilled, but similarly I would not be fulfilled without the emotional either....there has to be a balance of both.

Catalina

I agree, there has to be a balance of both for me to be truly fulfilled. I can be satisfied short term with one or the other but for any length of time, i need both.

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, part time kinkster checking in here. For me, it's the physical that gets me off. The emotional is there already and I do like that. But when he throws the kink in now and again, it's what he's doing that gets me off.

I will say it was different with my first Dom. It was definitely a combination and melding of both the physical and emotional. Almost like a delicate balance that needed to be maintained at all times. Especially the emotional.

The two relationships are just very different in a lot of ways. Each good in their own way, but different.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

For me...I love the sting of having my ass spanked...and I love the feeling of being pinned down under body weight, but it is the mental head game that really gets me going...the look as He speaks to me...the sound of his voice...the way my body reacts...

What about you?

My enjoyment is extremely physical...i am a masochist first and foremost....therefore i get off on pain in a purely sexual, reflexive way. The things that get to me most would be the sting and sensation of a carefully placed strap, the burn of a slowly melting candle against my skin, needles...gods how i love needles....And a sadist who enjoys pushing my limits....
submission is not guaranteed with me...only a truly devout relationship will earn that...but the physicality of a strong, honest person in touch with their need to control and cause physical pain...well like i said...it's a purely physical thing for me...
PET

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I was reading the thread about "How do you like it?" and it got me to thinking...most people were mentioning what type of pain they like...what physical sensations they enjoy...

I think it was Anelize that said she enjoyed the act of submission, which for me seemed to be more of emotional/mental sensation.

So my question is this...

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

Thanks, ID for the very cool thread. It's a nice complement to the other one. I appreciate the nice mention.

Yes, I still revel in my submission to Him. Other things catch my attention, though. The sharp sting of His hand against my face...a word spoken "slut". Humiliation/Physicality. Pushing my limits ever further, not only physically but mentally. Can I do that, be that, take myself to that level? These aren't merely physical exercises, acted out upon my body with instruments. Sometimes instruments have nothing whatsoever to do with it at all.

My submission to Him encompasses all the rest, the humiliation, the physicality, the emotion...it's all wrapped up together in my service...I can't pick out one.

I get off on submitting.

~anelize


edited to correct spelling, etc.

 

[Desdemona]

I can't separate the emotions from the physical acts at this point in our relationship. They feed off each other for me.

 

[Croctden]

As a dom I find it 99% mental. Swinging my arm around is not all that exciting. Other parts of me maybe.

 

[Netzach]

About 50% mental 50% physical.

I'm a girl, I wasn't encouraged to swing things, what can I say?


People can make almost anyone do anything through the most grossly manipulative, icky, nasty ways...

play that is "purely mental" often feels like blackmail to me.

Play that is "purely physical" often feels like tennis.

Even play without power exchange has a huge mental component, people hung up on PE don't understand that, don't understand that what motivates a masochist or a Sadist is not just sensation, even if it's not D/s.

 

[bunny517]

Originally posted by InnerDarkness
I was reading the thread about "How do you like it?" and it got me to thinking...most people were mentioning what type of pain they like...what physical sensations they enjoy...

I think it was Anelize that said she enjoyed the act of submission, which for me seemed to be more of emotional/mental sensation.

So my question is this...

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

For me...I love the sting of having my ass spanked...and I love the feeling of being pinned down under body weight, but it is the mental head game that really gets me going...the look as He speaks to me...the sound of his voice...the way my body reacts...

What about you?

I have to agree, The thrill of being held down ,Listning to the lecture, The sting the wonderful Sting that a spanking gives.Yes that is the best!!!!!!!

 

[MissTaken]

The two are intertwined for me, in terms of submission. Finding that headspace that leaves me helpless to the Dominant brings peace and pleasure. When there, finding those activities that bring me physical pleasure are lovely. Then snapping out of it to find the Dominant feeling pleased and fulfilled is the goal and a wonderful feeling for both.

Is there a more heady feeling than the look in your Dominant's eyes when you have pleased him, unconditionally?

In terms of Dominating my submissive, my involvement and pleasure is nearly all emotional. An energy builds in the pit of stomach that envelopes my body. A feeling of power and control that burns. Then, to have her there at my disposal, knowing she only wants what I want is an additional heady feeling. Honestly, I may or may not become sexually aroused and oftentimes don't. In terms of physical thrill, burning off that energy by way of spanking, flogging, crops etc it the outlet I seek and enjoy. Then, my favorite part of any scene is the aftercare. Holding her and bringing her back down with soft touches and nurturing words.

So, after writing in circles, I would say I am mostly drawn to the emotional thrill.

 

[s'lara]

The emotional satisfaction i received from serving was on equal footing with the satisfaction i received from the physical aspect of D/s and S/M. They sort of went hand in hand.

i got a physical and emotional thrill from it all. My body reacted to serving and my emotions would spin from the physical. *shrugs*

lara

 

[FungiUg]

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

I think for me, I love the combination. The intensity of both the emotional charge and the physical lust and pleasure. One without the other... wouldn't be the same.

 

[D's mariposa]

It's both, sort of, with me. While I get off on the pain and stuff, it won't work without the submisson. A while back ago, I was sort of interested in a Top, and aqs I got to know her, I didn't like her very much, so I did not feel submissive to her at all. While her intense style of play appealed to me, if I was not able to submit to her it left me cold. When I told her honestly how I felt she said. "Keep your fucking submission, I don't want that. I just want to beat you til you cry and then fuck your brains out. D/s is all a fraud anyway." Needless to say, that didn't work at all.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It's both, sort of, with me. While I get off on the pain and stuff, it won't work without the submisson. A while back ago, I was sort of interested in a Top, and aqs I got to know her, I didn't like her very much, so I did not feel submissive to her at all. While her intense style of play appealed to me, if I was not able to submit to her it left me cold. When I told her honestly how I felt she said. "Keep your fucking submission, I don't want that. I just want to beat you til you cry and then fuck your brains out. D/s is all a fraud anyway." Needless to say, that didn't work at all.

Strange how some people use D/s as a cloak to mask their abusive tendencies.

C

 

[Netzach]

She doesn't sound very subtle, but I'm sure it's hard to find a decent masochist non-sub these days.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Strange how some people use D/s as a cloak to mask their abusive tendencies.

C

Yep.

 

[D's mariposa]

Strange how some people use D/s as a cloak to mask their abusive tendencies.

C

She doesn't consider herself a Dominant; so she doesn't consider D/s at all. She's a Sadist Switch, as she puts it. Which is fine, but it's not my kink.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

May I firstly say I loved Netzach' first post
I love the mental side more that the pain side as I have desire to hurt in anyway, mind I also loved the the 5 minute spanking thread hmmmm seems I'm just a perv
Bachlum Chaam

 

[cellis]

I cannot separate one from the other... The gentle guidance of He Dominance, tempered with the sharp sting of His hand on my ass. I need them both... equally... I think one without the other would make me feel somewhat empty...

 

[Arden]

So my question is this...

for those in a D/s relationship...or exploring other aspects of BDSM...what do you like/enjoy/get off on more...the emotionality behind the physicality or vice versa?

I may be an oddity here. As much as I enjoy the spankings, floggings, etc., it is the emotional aspects that leave me wanting more. Emotions, and an intense mental state overtake what I'm feeling physically.

But, as stated earlier by others, I couldn't experience one without the other. They work together in beautiful harmony.





Bach... what would this world be without perverts?

Boring!

 

[Soron]

I'll break it down into purely animal terms...
I love strapping her down and spanking her pretty ass until it's hot and red. I love having that control over her body and her mind.
I also love taking her in my arms afterwards and feeling her cling to me.
I love fucking her brains out and allowing her release when I'm ready for her to. I love that control as well.
But, I also love taking her in my arms after that is done with and feeling her cling to me. I need the physical and the mental.

 

[slvjenn]

I'd have to say it's mental for me. Nearly all mental.

I love that split second after a command is given. That half a second it might take to make the decision to act. I enjoy being told to do, and doing something that I might not otherwise do.

As for more physical things, it still turns mental to me. In bondage, I love to know that in that state that I can no longer resist. If there is punishment involved (i'm fairly adverse to pain and punishment) there is that constant fight or flight instinct being supressed. As I stand, kneel or lay there feeling the sharp slaps or whacks there is the constant tug of war inside of me. The instinct to protect myself fighting the submission in me allowing myself to be punished.

It's all enough to get my head spinning. (quite literally)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump.....LOL, I think many of these threads came at a time when there was a predominance of good discussions taking place which limited the lifespan of the threads out of time constraints more than quality of discussion.

Catalina