The difference between men and women

[Isabella Thorne]

WOMEN:

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women comes in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.

And all they want back is a hug, a smile, and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN:

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and fixing shit.

 

[Expertise]

Do I detect a note of bitterness Isabella?LOL

You just know this is going to end up being a gender bashing thread.

Let the games begin.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

No bitterness please

OMG no darling .. it is just a joke .. i thought it was funny ... men are scrumptious ... love them madly .. it is a joke ... lmao ... it is funny, nescafé?

No bashing - please!
______________
Hallelujah it's raining men.
~The Weather Girls~

 

[Expertise]

I will certainly refrain Bella but my prediction stands. I'm trying to mind my P's and Q's after yesterday.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Izz, I woulda thought someone would have explained it by now. You should have Expertise show you the difference, visual aids are soooo stimulating.

Women have innie peepees and men have outtie peepees. If you don't believe me, ask a 5 year old.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

The Spiders from Mars

ha ha Muffin .. good one dear .. yea i always get them mixed up lol .. that is why i want the penis icons for men on the bb ...

oh yea btw i thought of something else men are good for ... killing spiders .. lmao .. no seriously .. i hate spiders.

 

[Expertise]

Isabella if those are the only things that you think guys are good for..... you really have to get some new "friends" babe. LOL

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Chandler baby ... i have a lot of friends dear ... but hey i can always use more ... can't we all .. lol ..

and believe me ... i KNOW what men are good for .. oh yea I know, I know, I know ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[April]

Haha, Isabella! Yes, men are good for lifting stuff and fixing shit. And the spiders, yea! Hubby takes care of the spiders for me. I take care of the roaches for him. He screams like a little girl when he sees one. LMAO It's so funny. I do the double can of Raid dance of death with them. They're terrified of me now.

 

[Never]

No, no, no. Why would you kill an innocent spider? They don't spread disease, they don't eat your food, they're not dirty. You know, if you didn't kill the spiders you wouldn't have to kill the roaches.
I had a pet spider once, he lived on the standing lamp in the living room, you know, one of the old brass ones with the floral arms and stuff. I feed him/ her ants and it was so cool, he'd jump up and cover them with webbing and then suck them out like a slurpee. *sighs* Then he just dissappeared one day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Gaucho]

No, no, no. Why would you kill an innocent spider? They don't spread disease, they don't eat your food, they're not dirty. You know, if you didn't kill the spiders you wouldn't have to kill the roaches.
I had a pet spider once, he lived on the standing lamp in the living room, you know, one of the old brass ones with the floral arms and stuff. I feed him/ her ants and it was so cool, he'd jump up and cover them with webbing and then suck them out like a slurpee. *sighs* Then he just dissappeared one day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remind me to never let you near my genitalia.

Actually, on second thought, sucking them out like a slurpee sounds like fun.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

MEN:

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and fixing shit.

And I'm not even good very good at either of these. Does that make me "good fer nuthin'?"

 

[Thumper]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

A spider! God I hate spiders....eight legged little bastards! Arachnophobia creeped me out big time!
*shivering uncontrollably*

Strangely enough though if there is one in the house I will go out of my way to escort him/her out unharmed...I don't like killing things...if it is on ME then all bets are off and it dies! (if I don't go code blue first)

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Boris the Spider

why Thumper darling .... ummm that is true actually ... after i have screamed and my b/f comes running when i see a spider .. he cups it in his hand and releases it outdoors ...

ha ha nance .. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

Ollie ... i can always find something for you to do dear.
_______________
There's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
~Woody Allen~

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

That's a relief, Miss Izzy. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. Put this man to work!

 

[Guest]

 

[Rosebud]

I was the kind of girl that would pick up snakes and assorted bugs and chase little girls around laughing my ass off at their screaming

 

[insideShiraz]

I see you in the Dark sleeping...

It's not their fucking eight legs! It's their eight eyes. They feed at night on humans!

But seriously...

When you look in the mirror, you see the woman at the end of THAT book in the Bible, which is how I'm looking at you through what you wrote; but just as all men are pigs, I've had girlfriends with eight eyes...

 

[CreamyLady]

But you survived to tell the tale, as do some male spiders with astonishing technique and incredible care.

Now, I think I shall go resume my knitting; only three pairs of arms; the other pair is typing.

 

[RonG]

Another sign of the Apocalypse

Wonderfully droll, miss CreamyLady!

As further confirmation of our culture going to blazes, I saw a note this week that John Gray's pap of _Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus_ (or whatever that thing is) is being turned into a musical for Broadway. Mr. Bialystock couldn't come up with a worse idea for a musical than that one.

"Do a goosestep, a new step, today!"

 

[Isabella Thorne]

I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes

ha ha Rose-buddy ... when i was little i was quite the tomboy too ... i filled my pockets once with worms when my cousin dared me to do it ... ha ha ha ..

but now ... no i wouldn't do that lol ..

what's that you say Chester .. a musical on "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" ... OMG .. yuck .. could there be anything worse in life??? lmao .. no seriously ... hey i hope they don't get Jerry Hall to play the lead .. she bombed as Mrs. Robinson in London town .. poor baby ..

ohhhhhhhh Miss Creamy .. i had no idea you were a knitter, luv ... and how "custom-made" for the multi-armed types.
_______________
I'd like to be under the sea
in an Octopus's Garden with you
~The Beatles~

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Man it Sounds OK I Guess, But I Feel Like a Woman!

ITS GOOD TO BE A MAN

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
________________
Man I feel like a woman.
~Shania Twain~