The Dance

[poppy1963]

Ok...you've been chatting here with a new person and there seems to be a click between you. Then comes that first PM. You flirt some...and talk a little more and wonder what this person has in mind.

The dance has started...

I would love to hear from both women and men how they determine their next steps...do you take the lead or let the other. Are you direct about what you are looking for or do you flirt to prolong the fun and not be too forthcoming?

What have you found is your best style?

 

[poppy1963]

I look with increasing interest at the continuum of dominant/submissive and at this point sees it as a part of all relationships...some more obviously so than others...and that depending on the situation, roles can and do "switch".

But I believe also there is a vying between most people in the beginning stages on a one-to-one relationship...that starts in "The Dance".

Comments?

 

[mrtnmoon]

Ok...you've been chatting here with a new person and there seems to be a click between you. Then comes that first PM. You flirt some...and talk a little more and wonder what this person has in mind.

The dance has started...

I would love to hear from both women and men how they determine their next steps...do you take the lead or let the other. Are you direct about what you are looking for or do you flirt to prolong the fun and not be too forthcoming?

What have you found is your best style?

I stand in the corner wondering if someone would wanna dance with me.... wishing I had the nerve to say something. knowing it would most likely be a waste of time if I did.

 

[poppy1963]

I stand in the corner wondering if someone would wanna dance with me.... wishing I had the nerve to say something. knowing it would most likely be a waste of time if I did.

Hmmm...that's interesting coming from you mrmoon! I wonder if you hear the invitations then. I do recall another inviting you to dance at the Castle one evening...and you chose to decline...never to return there since!

 

[bordendazed]

The flower grows, blossoms stands waiting for it's monent, but do the insects come? Does the rain fall? Dies the wind blow?

Does the moment happen and the chance to grow on and on and bloom elsewhere and shine anew on another plane happen, or maybe just something temporary show, to prolong the moment, 'till the closing of the year?

Or, does the time pass and the leaves and petals wilt; only to falter and fester till next season, or die unfufilled forever?

What is and what will ever be?

 

[poppy1963]

The flower grows, blossoms stands waiting for it's monent, but do the insects come? Does the rain fall? Dies the wind blow?

Does the moment happen and the chance to grow on and on and bloom elsewhere and shine anew on another plane happen, or maybe just something temporary show, to prolong the moment, 'till the closing of the year?

Or, does the time pass and the leaves and petals wilt; only to falter and fester till next season, or die unfufilled forever?

What is and what will ever be?

Nice poem, indiana!

 

[bordendazed]

Nice poem, indiana!

Poetically pervasive? No.
I prefer more invasive.
Meander the mind; yet
Only to find
the lack of comfort
in the comfort
of what's mine.

Better?

 

[poppy1963]

Poetically pervasive? No.
I prefer more invasive.
Meander the mind; yet
Only to find
the lack of comfort
in the comfort
of what's mine.

Better?

Very good! Meaningful words to me as well these days. Please continue if you will.

 

[mrtnmoon]

Hmmm...that's interesting coming from you mrmoon! I wonder if you hear the invitations then. I do recall another inviting you to dance at the Castle one evening...and you chose to decline...never to return there since!

I remember that, too.... if I have an explanation it's..... I dunno, maybe I'm too shy or I just don't feel creative enough or I just feel silly pretending I'm a knight or a pirate or that I'm sitting in a strip club. know what I mean? it certainly wasn't that I didn't find the person in question attractive.... and I surely hope she didn't take it that way.

 

[poppy1963]

I remember that, too.... if I have an explanation it's..... I dunno, maybe I'm too shy or I just don't feel creative enough or I just feel silly pretending I'm a knight or a pirate or that I'm sitting in a strip club. know what I mean? it certainly wasn't that I didn't find the person in question attractive.... and I surely hope she didn't take it that way.

LOL...Alll that is understandable. I feel silly and shy about trying out new "faces" too at times but find...if I allow myself to do it, it is fun and I feel like I have gained a bit of freedom from my demons. Many others feel that way, as you do, as well. When someone I've left a door open for pm's me and says so, then we stay private. Just sayin'.

My bet is though, you've danced this dance I speak of...any thoughts on how to ease the execution of those times...when you're not sure? Today I wish I would have said, as I felt, YOU take the lead here. But instead I tried to seem more brazen...and it didn't work so well. LOL. Thus this thread. *sighs* Thank you for your input here. I don't think either one of us speak for ourselves only.

 

[bordendazed]

I will if I can but I shall if you will.
I am wont to try, but to often will cry.
Silly this is
to dance like this.
With serets to share
and no one no where.

 

[poppy1963]

No one cares much to respond
I seek alt places here and beyond
your verse does hold me, enchant me
But I need more...to trance me.



thank you bored&dazed!!

 

[mrtnmoon]

good bread, good meat
time's a wastin', let's eat!

sorry.... only poem I know.

 

[poppy1963]

good bread, good meat
time's a wastin', let's eat!

sorry.... only poem I know.

"come into my parlor said the spider to the fly" hee hee

j/k

but in that kinda mood now...

 

[Spins]

Ok...you've been chatting here with a new person and there seems to be a click between you. Then comes that first PM. You flirt some...and talk a little more and wonder what this person has in mind.

The dance has started...

I would love to hear from both women and men how they determine their next steps...do you take the lead or let the other. Are you direct about what you are looking for or do you flirt to prolong the fun and not be too forthcoming?

What have you found is your best style?

I think on a board that is dominated by men that the best policy is to allow the woman to set the pace. It is up to the men to adjust. It's a fine line between "showing interest" and "pestering".

That is not to say the man shouldn't be forthcoming in thier wants. If all they are looking for is a quick fuck then they should say so.

I'm all for flirting and prolonging, but if you want something you should probably just say it. What is the worst that can happen?

 

[mrtnmoon]

"come into my parlor said the spider to the fly" hee hee

j/k

but in that kinda mood now...

better watch out.... one of these nights I may ask you to dance.

 

[muskokan]

I think I take this on a case to case basis, I haven't made a really "deep" connection with very many people on lit yet, and sadly those who I have are often left by the wayside during busy times in my life such as my recent move.

If I approach someone to begin with I usually try and make sure they are okay with whatever we talk about and more or less let them show me where it is okay to go

if I meet someone who is interested in me, I usually do the same but if I find that they are looking for responses from me i'll try to make sure that it is understood what I am okay with

I like flirting, I come here to flirt. but I am married,I'm really hard to read, my moods change randomely and usually if you catch me in the right mood just about anything is possible

 

[poppy1963]

I think on a board that is dominated by men that the best policy is to allow the woman to set the pace. It is up to the men to adjust. It's a fine line between "showing interest" and "pestering".

That is not to say the man shouldn't be forthcoming in thier wants. If all they are looking for is a quick fuck then they should say so.

I'm all for flirting and prolonging, but if you want something you should probably just say it. What is the worst that can happen?

Well hon...just for the record...lol...NOTHING to be lost between me and you!

 

[poppy1963]

better watch out.... one of these nights I may ask you to dance.

*smiles*...Holds out dance card...

 

[Spins]

I think I take this on a case to case basis, I haven't made a really "deep" connection with very many people on lit yet, and sadly those who I have are often left by the wayside during busy times in my life such as my recent move.

If I approach someone to begin with I usually try and make sure they are okay with whatever we talk about and more or less let them show me where it is okay to go

if I meet someone who is interested in me, I usually do the same but if I find that they are looking for responses from me i'll try to make sure that it is understood what I am okay with

I like flirting, I come here to flirt. but I am married,I'm really hard to read, my moods change randomely and usually if you catch me in the right mood just about anything is possible

I think that is another reason why men should allow the women to set the pace.

Marriage and the boards is a whole nother topic, but it's often hard to read what a married woman on the boards wants.

Some just want the attention, some want the fuck, and some don't seem to want either. It's hard to tell. I think it is best to just play it safe and not risk offending.

 

[poppy1963]

I think I take this on a case to case basis, I haven't made a really "deep" connection with very many people on lit yet, and sadly those who I have are often left by the wayside during busy times in my life such as my recent move.

If I approach someone to begin with I usually try and make sure they are okay with whatever we talk about and more or less let them show me where it is okay to go

if I meet someone who is interested in me, I usually do the same but if I find that they are looking for responses from me i'll try to make sure that it is understood what I am okay with

I like flirting, I come here to flirt. but I am married,I'm really hard to read, my moods change randomely and usually if you catch me in the right mood just about anything is possible

I think I've come close...but I sure hope to catch you in that mood one day for real for real...perhaps with MrMoon...

 

[mrtnmoon]

some of these responses have touched on what is kind of a problem for me.... or not, but they've made me think about this thing you call "the dance" and why I may or may not do it, beyond the reasons I already stated. I realize that if I talk about it, it may end any hope I ever have of "dancing".

not even sure I can put it into words.......

I understand that flirting is fun. I understand that for most people it's just a harmless diversion that doesn't mean anything. but I think that's also part of why I'm sometimes reluctant to try to get too involved in that sort of thing.

some nights I can be just as harmless and meaningless and fun as anyone else. the problem is that if I'm feeling especially lonely or hurting for some other reason I have to be very careful about things I'll let myself say or feel..... because it's very easy for me to start feeling like it actually means something. like I actually mean something.... know what I mean?

 

[Spins]

some of these responses have touched on what is kind of a problem for me.... or not, but they've made me think about this thing you call "the dance" and why I may or may not do it, beyond the reasons I already stated. I realize that if I talk about it, it may end any hope I ever have of "dancing".

not even sure I can put it into words.......

I understand that flirting is fun. I understand that for most people it's just a harmless diversion that doesn't mean anything. but I think that's also part of why I'm sometimes reluctant to try to get too involved in that sort of thing.

some nights I can be just as harmless and meaningless and fun as anyone else. the problem is that if I'm feeling especially lonely or hurting for some other reason I have to be very careful about things I'll let myself say or feel..... because it's very easy for me to start feeling like it actually means something. like I actually mean something.... know what I mean?

I think that is something we all have to guard against. And when you are lonely or just out of a relationship, or otherwise have been hurt it makes things that much worse.

Too many people are willing to risk hurting others because it is "just a board".

Moon, I feel ya brother. I feel ya.

 

[mrtnmoon]

I think I've come close...but I sure hope to catch you in that mood one day for real for real...perhaps with MrMoon...

it's almost bedtime now, but maybe one night we can all put on our red shoes and dance the blues.

 

[va4footlvrs]

hi poppy