M
Modern Mephisto
Guest
Well, more like The Partial Pamphlet, really. Okay, it's hardly worthy of even being called a flyer. In any event, I invite the majority of you to stop reading now, since what follows is more of my longwinded, pointless blathering which won't likely be of interest to more than three or four people. However, to those that don't mind a lengthy read with a dubious and potentially unsatisfying payoff by ramble's end, or anyone who might be interested in a little insight to my own warped views on the issue of sluttery - how one might define a slut, whether being slutty is good or bad, etc. - please, read on.
What follows is a quagmire of thoughts provoke by Capricious_chic's "Sexual History" thread, Olivia_Yearns "Good Girl/Bad Girl" thread, and various conversations I've had with others recently. So...blame them.
Furthermorel, I want to make it clear that I don't consider 'slut' to be a gender-specific term which refers only to women. I'm not of the school of hypocrisy and double standards whereby sexually liberated women are branded sluts while men of like spirit enjoy the glorious prestige of being praised as virile studs. Nevertheless, I am sadly hindered by my sex and, as such, can ultimately only offer what is unavoidably a male perspective or, more specifically, my own perspective on the topic. Though, in no way do I claim to speak for all men and I offer my humblest apologies if I should seem to do so.
Now to the matter at hand: sluts and sluttery.
I think the fact of the matter is, most men want sluts. It's part of why we watch porn, and why some of us are so aroused by facials, MFM threesomes, gangbangs, and even bukkake. Same goes for the weird obsession some men have for seeing women use produce as makeshift dildos, along with hair brushes, candles, baseball bats or whatever they can crame into their bodily orifices. Hell, even bestiality can get some guys excited. Now, obviously most of us don't want to be the guy who dates the girl at the center of a gangbang or be the boyfriend of the chick who likes to fuck horses. What excites us, though, is the very thought of a woman that lusty, that kinky, that nasty and so completely sexually insatiable that she needs to have a cock in every hole and one in each hand, or she's so crazed with lust and a desperate need for penetration that she'd actually fuck an animal. That's really turns us on. Fucklusty (to borrow a term from Olivia_Yearns) and cock-hungry, those are the sort of women that get us off, because...well, that sort of women, she's the sort of woman that would do anything, no matter how depraved it might seem, that should ever enter our minds. If we wanted to pour spaghetti sauce on her face while fucking her ass in a dumpster behind the local 7-Eleven, she'd be game. And that's what's so exciting. (Er, the fact that she'd be open to anything, I mean. Not the whole 7-Eleven dumpster sex scenario. Not that it doesn't have it's charm... Ahem.)
However, for the majority of us, the thought of sharing her, or the thought that she'd want or need another man, group of men, or farm animals is a serious turn off. That's the thought that drives us to psychotic rage or absolute revulsion. What we want are monogamous sluts, women that will be our personal - and exclusive - porn starlets, women that are going to let us fuck them however we please, who will beg us to take them and use them to make us feel good, who want us to pound them without mercy, to fuck their asses and cum on their faces, women that will oblige all our sexual fantasies not out of some twisted degenerate sexual dysfunction, but because they love us and love nasty sex with us. The vast majority of men, I imagine, love dirty girls, provided they are nasty, kinky little sluts only with us. As such, I firmly believe it's possible to be a slutty individual and still be respected by your partner.
Lamentably, the term 'slut' has been tarnished by negative connotations, and those people who are labeled as sluts have been forced, often times quite unjustly, to endure rather ignominous reputations. People, particularly women I'd say, have been set at odds with themselves, made to feel shameful about their lusty cravings, deviant desires, and wanton urges. In turn, I imagine a great many people repress that side of their sexuality, or closet it away for fear of what others might think of them for it. As a result, you end up with individuals mentally castigating and flagellating themselves whenever they should indulge in licentious fantasies, hating themselves for being aroused by such 'twisted' and 'perverse' thoughts. All quite unnecessarily.
To mind my, a slut is really just someone with an adventurous spirit and a sexually unfettered mind. A slut is a sexually liberated individual who has cast off society's dogmatic notions of decency and morality, someone who unabashedly embraces their carnal nature, without apology or fear of condemnation. This is a very good thing...which, admittedly, can sometimes go horribly wrong.
I'd say there are two types of sluts: the Good Slut and the Bad Slut. And there's a crucial distinction.
Bad Slut is the archetype, the stereotype, the very embodiment of all that's wrong with unchecked indulgence and the abomination responsible for sullying the good name of sluttery. Bad Slut has few or no standards and, for the most part, will fuck anyone, anywhere, and for no better reason than mere sexual gratification. The Bad Slut doesn't need to know your name and often doesn't even care to. You are just gentalia to them, everything else about you - your personality, your interests, your views on life - is superfluous and entirely irrelevant. For Bad Slut, sex and love are not connected on any level. To them...I'd say sex is probably as basic in function as eating and sleeping. It's an activity essential for life, and like with eating and sleeping, can be indulged in to the point of gluttony. The Bad Sluts will sexually gorge themselves simply for hedonistic pleasure, neither attaching nor equating any higher purpose or significance to the act. The Bad Slut's body is free to anyone who can provide pleasure, regardless of how fleeting or hollow.
The Good Slut, on the other hand, is just as openminded and sexually adventurous as Bad Slut, is a nasty, delightfully filthy lover possessing the same degree of wantonness and rapacious lust for carnal pleasures, a mind swirling with lurid, devilishly obscene fantasies, but the Good Slut only indulges such appetites with suitable partners, partner with whom they share a deeper connection. A Good Slut considers sex and love very much entwined, finding the act empty and unsatisfying without the emotion. The Good Slut may fantasize about orgies and revel in the thoughts of being humiliated, violated, degraded, and treated as a cheap whore, but they refuse to genuinely degrade themselves by offering their body to anyone who will have it. They draw the line at defiling themselves and cheapening the act of sex through meaningless exploits, as Bad Sluts have done. Bad Sluts, with their lifestyles, have reduced sex to little more than masturbation with a partner, an act that exists only for the high or orgasm and nothing more. Good Sluts think more highly of themselves, their partners, and the very act itself. Good Sluts may not necessarily be monogamous, as polyamorous people are just as capable of forming emotional ties to their multiple lovers, but they still seek a meaningful connection with their partners, requiring trust and respect, because you can't have love without either of those, and love (not necessarily the conventional, romantic, let's get married love) is essential for a Good Slut's sexual daliances.
So, touching upon ideas presented in Olivia's "Good Girl/Bad Girl" thread and expanding to both sexes, I think the Good Girl/Boy and the Good Slut (who possesses many of the 'Bad Girls/Boys' characteristics) can harmoniously coexist in the same individual. Those, I believe, are the sort of sluts that a large percentage of the popualce respect and desire, the individuals that have reconciled themselves to the fact that they can be respectably slutty.
Of course, I feel it's important to note that just how slutty an individual may be, how much of a Bad Slut someone is, is a subjective matter, one which is always determined by the individual standing in judgment of the slut, an opinion - and solely that individual's opinion - arrived at by using his or her own sexual experiences or sexual morality as something of a measuring stick whereby they compare and pass judgment. (Note: In fairness, I'd say many of us who like to judge often condemn others of abhorrent slutty behavior because such individuals typically have had greater and more varied experiences than we have, and we're secretly envious of it or threatened by it. Sometimes calling someone a slut is just a means of masking our own fear and insecurity, taking the position of strength in our disgust rather than admitting to our weakness of envy or insecurity. Of course, other times, the person is just a stomach-churningly foul, disease-ridden skank.)
Now, as Capricious_chic's "Sexual History" thread revealed, there are a great many people that aren't judgmental and genuinely don't give a damn about the sexual history of their partners or, in some instances, even relish those slutty exploits and find themselves aroused by hearing about it. For the rest of us, however, we're always gauging potential sluttiness. There's always a system for determining just how slutty someone is, factors we consider and weigh when trying to decide whether the person's sexual promiscuity is acceptable or not. For many, though certainly for myself, it all boils down to three basic elements: quantity, quality, and context. All of which are interconnected.
It breaks down thusly:
Quantity
Obviously this is the infamous 'number' of lovers one has had. However, it's not simply a matter of bulk. It's a ratio of partners to years, one's age in relation to the number of sexual partners they've had. (Yes, perhaps age should be a matter of context but, as I said, these factors are somewhat interconnected and I choose to keep them linked in this instance.) An aged individual of some 60 years who's been with 20 people isn't nearly as skanky as, say, a 15-year-old with as many partners. (Unless, of course, the person making the determination of skankdom can't recall how long ago is was that they had listed of partners that numbered as low as 20. As opposed to a strictly devout Catholic who would likely be shocked and disgusted by the very notion of premarital sex.) Of course, numbers don't tell all...
Quality
Also highly subjective is the matter of quality, but, as with all factors, it's up to the judge; their judgment, their call. Of course, this typically isn't a major factor because it so rarely comes into play. After all, how often do you meet or know the previous lovers of your partner/would-be partner? Unless they've remained friends with those people or you happen upon a chance encounter where, after the fact, your lover turns to you and says, "I used to fuck that," you'll probably remain blissfully ignorant of the character and quality of the person's past sexual blunders. I'd say this is really more of an online thing, perhaps holding more weight here on Lit than in the real world.
However, there's always the off chance of celebrity coming into play. For example, going back to the issue of numbers, suppose you meet a magnificently sexy woman with a magnetic allure of intellect and wit mingled with just the right touch of naughtiness. As things progress, she admits she's only been with one man, luring you into a false sense of security. She then follows up with the revelation that that one man was Ron Jeremy. Take a moment to digest that, then you'll want to brush your teeth to get the taste of bile from your mouth.
And for the ladies, he had sex with one woman: his own mother. Yep.
That brings us to...
Context
Suppose the woman fucked Ron Jeremy before he was in the porn business, before he was greasy, sleazy and fat? Okay, this chick would probably have to be somewhere around 65, but... And what if it was technically his stepmother that the man fucked? A little freaky, sure, but there was no incest ickiness to speak of.
Yes, these are those mundane details of situation and circumstance that can make a world of difference and tell the true story, filling in the blanks left by unqualified numbers and absent character bios. Context brings it all into focus.
Without context: A 40-year-old woman has had 10 lovers.
At a glance it looks fine. Normal. Possibly even well below the average.
With context: Those 10 lovers were a mix of men and women, all leading members of the porn industry, and she fucked them simultanteously in a gangbang/orgy that was recorded, distributed, and sold on the shelves of every major porn store.
Um...yeah. Thanks for the drink. If you'll excuse me, I need to get the fuck out of here and shower. Have a nice life!
Without context: A young man, senior in college, has been with only 5 women.
Not bad. Better than most.
With context: He fucked all 5 of them over the course of a 24-hour period, telling each of them he loved only her.
Ah. Lying, manipulative, repulsive asshole. And a slut.
Of course, it's an imperfect system, forcing one to balance scenarios that don't necessarily lend themselves to equality. Is the woman at the center of a gangbang more, less, or equally slutty as a man who fucks several women over the course of a single night? If they've given/received a lot of oral, but only had penetration with those few people they were seriously involved with, is that slutty or acceptable? You have to judge for yourself and, as I said, it's always going to come back to your own personal experiences, your own views on sex and love, and your own code of ethics and sense of morality. Each person decides for himself/herself what's revoltingly slutty and what can be written off as simple, trivial fun.
Finally, I just want to end by clarifying one matter. I don't consider 'Bad Sluts' to be bad people. I have no problem admitting that I'm a deplorable, judgmental, narrowminded asshole. I own that. But I can still recognize and appreciate good qualities in others, and easiest of all to overlook is a negatively slutty nature. Just because someone may have a indiscriminately slutty lifestyle, which I may consider unpalatable, doesn't prevent them from being wickedly hilarious, unquestionably intelligent, or generally good company. Such individuals are always welcomed as friends, but completely out of the question for dating or sleeping with. In fact, one of my closest friends is a tremendous slut, not quite the epitome of 'Bad Slut' but certainly a contender for the crown, and I love her to death. Sexually speaking, however, I wouldn't poke her with a 10-foot pole, let alone my 2-inch dick. (And the fact that she can be offended by that comment yet still laugh is part of why I love her.)
Chime in and add your own thoughts, opinions, and comments as you see fit.
What follows is a quagmire of thoughts provoke by Capricious_chic's "Sexual History" thread, Olivia_Yearns "Good Girl/Bad Girl" thread, and various conversations I've had with others recently. So...blame them.
Furthermorel, I want to make it clear that I don't consider 'slut' to be a gender-specific term which refers only to women. I'm not of the school of hypocrisy and double standards whereby sexually liberated women are branded sluts while men of like spirit enjoy the glorious prestige of being praised as virile studs. Nevertheless, I am sadly hindered by my sex and, as such, can ultimately only offer what is unavoidably a male perspective or, more specifically, my own perspective on the topic. Though, in no way do I claim to speak for all men and I offer my humblest apologies if I should seem to do so.
Now to the matter at hand: sluts and sluttery.
I think the fact of the matter is, most men want sluts. It's part of why we watch porn, and why some of us are so aroused by facials, MFM threesomes, gangbangs, and even bukkake. Same goes for the weird obsession some men have for seeing women use produce as makeshift dildos, along with hair brushes, candles, baseball bats or whatever they can crame into their bodily orifices. Hell, even bestiality can get some guys excited. Now, obviously most of us don't want to be the guy who dates the girl at the center of a gangbang or be the boyfriend of the chick who likes to fuck horses. What excites us, though, is the very thought of a woman that lusty, that kinky, that nasty and so completely sexually insatiable that she needs to have a cock in every hole and one in each hand, or she's so crazed with lust and a desperate need for penetration that she'd actually fuck an animal. That's really turns us on. Fucklusty (to borrow a term from Olivia_Yearns) and cock-hungry, those are the sort of women that get us off, because...well, that sort of women, she's the sort of woman that would do anything, no matter how depraved it might seem, that should ever enter our minds. If we wanted to pour spaghetti sauce on her face while fucking her ass in a dumpster behind the local 7-Eleven, she'd be game. And that's what's so exciting. (Er, the fact that she'd be open to anything, I mean. Not the whole 7-Eleven dumpster sex scenario. Not that it doesn't have it's charm... Ahem.)
However, for the majority of us, the thought of sharing her, or the thought that she'd want or need another man, group of men, or farm animals is a serious turn off. That's the thought that drives us to psychotic rage or absolute revulsion. What we want are monogamous sluts, women that will be our personal - and exclusive - porn starlets, women that are going to let us fuck them however we please, who will beg us to take them and use them to make us feel good, who want us to pound them without mercy, to fuck their asses and cum on their faces, women that will oblige all our sexual fantasies not out of some twisted degenerate sexual dysfunction, but because they love us and love nasty sex with us. The vast majority of men, I imagine, love dirty girls, provided they are nasty, kinky little sluts only with us. As such, I firmly believe it's possible to be a slutty individual and still be respected by your partner.
Lamentably, the term 'slut' has been tarnished by negative connotations, and those people who are labeled as sluts have been forced, often times quite unjustly, to endure rather ignominous reputations. People, particularly women I'd say, have been set at odds with themselves, made to feel shameful about their lusty cravings, deviant desires, and wanton urges. In turn, I imagine a great many people repress that side of their sexuality, or closet it away for fear of what others might think of them for it. As a result, you end up with individuals mentally castigating and flagellating themselves whenever they should indulge in licentious fantasies, hating themselves for being aroused by such 'twisted' and 'perverse' thoughts. All quite unnecessarily.
To mind my, a slut is really just someone with an adventurous spirit and a sexually unfettered mind. A slut is a sexually liberated individual who has cast off society's dogmatic notions of decency and morality, someone who unabashedly embraces their carnal nature, without apology or fear of condemnation. This is a very good thing...which, admittedly, can sometimes go horribly wrong.
I'd say there are two types of sluts: the Good Slut and the Bad Slut. And there's a crucial distinction.
Bad Slut is the archetype, the stereotype, the very embodiment of all that's wrong with unchecked indulgence and the abomination responsible for sullying the good name of sluttery. Bad Slut has few or no standards and, for the most part, will fuck anyone, anywhere, and for no better reason than mere sexual gratification. The Bad Slut doesn't need to know your name and often doesn't even care to. You are just gentalia to them, everything else about you - your personality, your interests, your views on life - is superfluous and entirely irrelevant. For Bad Slut, sex and love are not connected on any level. To them...I'd say sex is probably as basic in function as eating and sleeping. It's an activity essential for life, and like with eating and sleeping, can be indulged in to the point of gluttony. The Bad Sluts will sexually gorge themselves simply for hedonistic pleasure, neither attaching nor equating any higher purpose or significance to the act. The Bad Slut's body is free to anyone who can provide pleasure, regardless of how fleeting or hollow.
The Good Slut, on the other hand, is just as openminded and sexually adventurous as Bad Slut, is a nasty, delightfully filthy lover possessing the same degree of wantonness and rapacious lust for carnal pleasures, a mind swirling with lurid, devilishly obscene fantasies, but the Good Slut only indulges such appetites with suitable partners, partner with whom they share a deeper connection. A Good Slut considers sex and love very much entwined, finding the act empty and unsatisfying without the emotion. The Good Slut may fantasize about orgies and revel in the thoughts of being humiliated, violated, degraded, and treated as a cheap whore, but they refuse to genuinely degrade themselves by offering their body to anyone who will have it. They draw the line at defiling themselves and cheapening the act of sex through meaningless exploits, as Bad Sluts have done. Bad Sluts, with their lifestyles, have reduced sex to little more than masturbation with a partner, an act that exists only for the high or orgasm and nothing more. Good Sluts think more highly of themselves, their partners, and the very act itself. Good Sluts may not necessarily be monogamous, as polyamorous people are just as capable of forming emotional ties to their multiple lovers, but they still seek a meaningful connection with their partners, requiring trust and respect, because you can't have love without either of those, and love (not necessarily the conventional, romantic, let's get married love) is essential for a Good Slut's sexual daliances.
So, touching upon ideas presented in Olivia's "Good Girl/Bad Girl" thread and expanding to both sexes, I think the Good Girl/Boy and the Good Slut (who possesses many of the 'Bad Girls/Boys' characteristics) can harmoniously coexist in the same individual. Those, I believe, are the sort of sluts that a large percentage of the popualce respect and desire, the individuals that have reconciled themselves to the fact that they can be respectably slutty.
Of course, I feel it's important to note that just how slutty an individual may be, how much of a Bad Slut someone is, is a subjective matter, one which is always determined by the individual standing in judgment of the slut, an opinion - and solely that individual's opinion - arrived at by using his or her own sexual experiences or sexual morality as something of a measuring stick whereby they compare and pass judgment. (Note: In fairness, I'd say many of us who like to judge often condemn others of abhorrent slutty behavior because such individuals typically have had greater and more varied experiences than we have, and we're secretly envious of it or threatened by it. Sometimes calling someone a slut is just a means of masking our own fear and insecurity, taking the position of strength in our disgust rather than admitting to our weakness of envy or insecurity. Of course, other times, the person is just a stomach-churningly foul, disease-ridden skank.)
Now, as Capricious_chic's "Sexual History" thread revealed, there are a great many people that aren't judgmental and genuinely don't give a damn about the sexual history of their partners or, in some instances, even relish those slutty exploits and find themselves aroused by hearing about it. For the rest of us, however, we're always gauging potential sluttiness. There's always a system for determining just how slutty someone is, factors we consider and weigh when trying to decide whether the person's sexual promiscuity is acceptable or not. For many, though certainly for myself, it all boils down to three basic elements: quantity, quality, and context. All of which are interconnected.
It breaks down thusly:
Quantity
Obviously this is the infamous 'number' of lovers one has had. However, it's not simply a matter of bulk. It's a ratio of partners to years, one's age in relation to the number of sexual partners they've had. (Yes, perhaps age should be a matter of context but, as I said, these factors are somewhat interconnected and I choose to keep them linked in this instance.) An aged individual of some 60 years who's been with 20 people isn't nearly as skanky as, say, a 15-year-old with as many partners. (Unless, of course, the person making the determination of skankdom can't recall how long ago is was that they had listed of partners that numbered as low as 20. As opposed to a strictly devout Catholic who would likely be shocked and disgusted by the very notion of premarital sex.) Of course, numbers don't tell all...
Quality
Also highly subjective is the matter of quality, but, as with all factors, it's up to the judge; their judgment, their call. Of course, this typically isn't a major factor because it so rarely comes into play. After all, how often do you meet or know the previous lovers of your partner/would-be partner? Unless they've remained friends with those people or you happen upon a chance encounter where, after the fact, your lover turns to you and says, "I used to fuck that," you'll probably remain blissfully ignorant of the character and quality of the person's past sexual blunders. I'd say this is really more of an online thing, perhaps holding more weight here on Lit than in the real world.
However, there's always the off chance of celebrity coming into play. For example, going back to the issue of numbers, suppose you meet a magnificently sexy woman with a magnetic allure of intellect and wit mingled with just the right touch of naughtiness. As things progress, she admits she's only been with one man, luring you into a false sense of security. She then follows up with the revelation that that one man was Ron Jeremy. Take a moment to digest that, then you'll want to brush your teeth to get the taste of bile from your mouth.
And for the ladies, he had sex with one woman: his own mother. Yep.
That brings us to...
Context
Suppose the woman fucked Ron Jeremy before he was in the porn business, before he was greasy, sleazy and fat? Okay, this chick would probably have to be somewhere around 65, but... And what if it was technically his stepmother that the man fucked? A little freaky, sure, but there was no incest ickiness to speak of.
Yes, these are those mundane details of situation and circumstance that can make a world of difference and tell the true story, filling in the blanks left by unqualified numbers and absent character bios. Context brings it all into focus.
Without context: A 40-year-old woman has had 10 lovers.
At a glance it looks fine. Normal. Possibly even well below the average.
With context: Those 10 lovers were a mix of men and women, all leading members of the porn industry, and she fucked them simultanteously in a gangbang/orgy that was recorded, distributed, and sold on the shelves of every major porn store.
Um...yeah. Thanks for the drink. If you'll excuse me, I need to get the fuck out of here and shower. Have a nice life!
Without context: A young man, senior in college, has been with only 5 women.
Not bad. Better than most.
With context: He fucked all 5 of them over the course of a 24-hour period, telling each of them he loved only her.
Ah. Lying, manipulative, repulsive asshole. And a slut.
Of course, it's an imperfect system, forcing one to balance scenarios that don't necessarily lend themselves to equality. Is the woman at the center of a gangbang more, less, or equally slutty as a man who fucks several women over the course of a single night? If they've given/received a lot of oral, but only had penetration with those few people they were seriously involved with, is that slutty or acceptable? You have to judge for yourself and, as I said, it's always going to come back to your own personal experiences, your own views on sex and love, and your own code of ethics and sense of morality. Each person decides for himself/herself what's revoltingly slutty and what can be written off as simple, trivial fun.
Finally, I just want to end by clarifying one matter. I don't consider 'Bad Sluts' to be bad people. I have no problem admitting that I'm a deplorable, judgmental, narrowminded asshole. I own that. But I can still recognize and appreciate good qualities in others, and easiest of all to overlook is a negatively slutty nature. Just because someone may have a indiscriminately slutty lifestyle, which I may consider unpalatable, doesn't prevent them from being wickedly hilarious, unquestionably intelligent, or generally good company. Such individuals are always welcomed as friends, but completely out of the question for dating or sleeping with. In fact, one of my closest friends is a tremendous slut, not quite the epitome of 'Bad Slut' but certainly a contender for the crown, and I love her to death. Sexually speaking, however, I wouldn't poke her with a 10-foot pole, let alone my 2-inch dick. (And the fact that she can be offended by that comment yet still laugh is part of why I love her.)
Chime in and add your own thoughts, opinions, and comments as you see fit.
