BrightShinyGirl
Abusive Little Bitch
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2013
- Posts
- 11,244
The Talmud is full of jokes. My favorite is “the Oven of Aknai”:
The rabbis are arguing over whether a broken oven has been repaired according to the law.
Rabbi Eliezer becomes angry that the others are dismissing his arguments.
“If I am right,” he says “let the trees demonstrate it!”
A tree uproots itself and starts walking.
“Doesn’t matter,” the others say. “You’re still wrong!”
“Then let the waters demonstrate it!” rabbi Eliezer cries, and the river begins flowing backwards.
“Still not proof,” the others say. “You’re still wrong.”
Rabbi Eliezer then says “Let the walls of the shul show I’m right.”
The walls buckle and shake but the others still aren’t convinced.
“The Torah is not in the walls,” they say.
“God Himself will tell you I am right!” Rabbi Eliezer boasts
“A big booming voice fills the shul: “Rabbi Eliezer is right! Listen to him!”
Rabbi Joshua answers back.
“The Torah is not in heaven!” He shouts.
God shakes his head and chuckles.
“My children have defeated me!”
The rabbis are arguing over whether a broken oven has been repaired according to the law.
Rabbi Eliezer becomes angry that the others are dismissing his arguments.
“If I am right,” he says “let the trees demonstrate it!”
A tree uproots itself and starts walking.
“Doesn’t matter,” the others say. “You’re still wrong!”
“Then let the waters demonstrate it!” rabbi Eliezer cries, and the river begins flowing backwards.
“Still not proof,” the others say. “You’re still wrong.”
Rabbi Eliezer then says “Let the walls of the shul show I’m right.”
The walls buckle and shake but the others still aren’t convinced.
“The Torah is not in the walls,” they say.
“God Himself will tell you I am right!” Rabbi Eliezer boasts
“A big booming voice fills the shul: “Rabbi Eliezer is right! Listen to him!”
Rabbi Joshua answers back.
“The Torah is not in heaven!” He shouts.
God shakes his head and chuckles.
“My children have defeated me!”
