The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and you get a side plate of scones and Devon cream.

I put in a large double-double from Tim Horton's...

[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]


I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

 

[Noor]

[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]


I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

and you get a sieve

I put in a toaster

 

[vrosej10]

[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]


I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

and you get a compliment jar of riberry jam (a delicious clove tasting variety of lily pily, an australian native tree. They are very acidic and make unbelievable jam or jelly to go with ham).


I put in a tea set decorated with pansies.

 

[vrosej10]

and you get a sieve

I put in a toaster

and you get a loaf of apricot delight bread, beautifully crisped.

I put in a feather from the kookabura I saw this afternoon.

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a loaf of apricot delight bread, beautifully crisped.

I put in a feather from the kookaburra I saw this afternoon.

and the bird flies it's unsteady way onwards to the nearest branch.



I put in the demand from the Kookaburra to return the lost feather.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the bird flies it's unsteady way onwards to the nearest branch.



I put in the demand from the Kookaburra to return the lost feather.

But, it gets stuck in the old gum tree.

I put in a wad of gum stuck on my bed post.

 

[vrosej10]

But, it gets stuck in the old gum tree.

I put in a wad of gum stuck on my bed post.

And you get a biohazard suit to deal with it.

I put in the popcorn my mice rejected.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a biohazard suit to deal with it.

I put in the popcorn my mice rejected.

and the animal psychologist suggests you try offering it with a movie next time.

I put in DVD of "The Secret of NIMH"...

 

[vrosej10]

and the animal psychologist suggests you try offering it with a movie next time.

I put in DVD of "The Secret of NIMH"...

and the damn things get hold of WMD's again; it's the third time this week and the UN are now constantly camped on my lawn.

I put in my geiger counter and a kit of vaccines for bioweapons.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the damn things get hold of WMD's again; it's the third time this week and the UN are now constantly camped on my lawn.

I put in my geiger counter and a kit of vaccines for bioweapons.

and you get hit with radioactive rhinovirus.

I put in a previously-owned, never-been-used, Californian fallout shelter...

 

[vrosej10]

and you get hit with radioactive rhinovirus.

I put in a previously-owned, never-been-used, Californian fallout shelter...

and I move in for the duration (I'm naturally a hermit and misanthrope).

I put in my 'waste' bucket.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I move in for the duration (I'm naturally a hermit and misanthrope).

I put in my 'waste' bucket.

but the honey bucket truck doesn'tstop at your place since you closeted away.

I put in a large packet of microbial enzyme tablets...

 

[vrosej10]

but the honey bucket truck doesn'tstop at your place since you closeted away.

I put in a large packet of microbial enzyme tablets...

and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.


I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.


I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

and the bacteria thank you for using your sword to speed up their rate of mitotic reproduction.

I put in a dangerously increasing level of antibiotic-resistant bacterial biomass...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.


I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

but the Health & Safety people do not approve sharp swords and blunt it.


I put in an electric knife-sharpener.

 

[vrosej10]

and the bacteria thank you for using your sword to speed up their rate of mitotic reproduction.

I put in a dangerously increasing level of antibiotic-resistant bacterial biomass...

and you get some unusual compost that it doesn't pay to walk barefoot over.

I put in a pair of exceptionally good gum boots.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get some unusual compost that it doesn't pay to walk barefoot over.

I put in a pair of exceptionally good gum boots.

and they get ruined when the dog not only chews them, but tries to blow bubbles as well.

I put in a Bazooka Joe comic...

 

[vrosej10]

and they get ruined when the dog not only chews them, but tries to blow bubbles as well.

I put in a Bazooka Joe comic...

and you get my jaw aches from chewing the gum.

i put in a rub on tattoo of popeye.

(Gum boots would be called Galoshes I think in the USA I think.)

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get my jaw aches from chewing the gum.

i put in a rub on tattoo of popeye.

(Gum boots would be called Galoshes I think in the USA I think.)

and you get smacked by an insanely jealous Olive Oyl.

I puts in a can of spinach...

(Gum boots...depends on what kind you're referring to. Galoshes are rubber shoes for your shoes in the U.S.; is that a gumboot in Austral climes? And I once found a woman staring at me as I stretched a pair of galoshes over my shiny black Oxfords. She realized I saw her, and apologized, a bit embarassed, saying, "I can't help myself; I love watching men put those things on." Think we can turn it into a kinky story?)

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get smacked by an insanely jealous Olive Oyl.

I puts in a can of spinach...

And discover it is well past its "sell-by date".


I put in a sharp tin opener.

[ we call them "Wellington" boots ]

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And discover it is well past its "sell-by date".


I put in a sharp tin opener.

[ we call them "Wellington" boots ]

and, it opens up a can of worms and causes all kinds of havoc in my household.

I put in bottle of household cleanser called spic and span.

 

[vrosej10]

and you get to clean my shower.


I put in a Strine dictionary.


http://www.hg.com.au/images/productPhotos/bata_gumboot.jpg

There are what we call gum boots.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get to clean my shower.


I put in a Strine dictionary.


http://www.hg.com.au/images/productPhotos/bata_gumboot.jpg

There are what we call gum boots.

and no one but an OZ can find any words in it.

(Those are also Wellingtons or Wellies in Canada; in the U.S., we called them Rubber Boots - similar to your Australian Gumboots.)

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get to clean my shower.


I put in a Strine dictionary.

which is very useful to the visitor to Oz.


I put in a box of damp matches

 

[vrosej10]

which is very useful to the visitor to Oz.


I put in a box of damp matches

and you get a pile of things that go together but are slightly wet.

I put in twenty paint swatches in various shades of violet.