That Sinking Feeling

[Bob Peale]

This may be three days in a row that I've led off with a downer (which at least means it's over!)

So I'm sitting in my car here in suburbia at a light and a siren wails. It has an odd sound, in fact a cadence I've never heard. We do the civic (and legally required) thing and pull over, and a large police van swerves by.

With the legend, "Hostage Response Team" emblazoned on the side.

Holy Shit.

 

[April]

Well. It even makes me feel weird just thinking about it.

 

[Bob Peale]

It's weird..I've lived in sevearl major cities (even a few overseas), and I've never seen one before.

I don't even want to go near a television; I don't want to know.

 

[Laurel]

So Bob...what lucky lady were you holding hostage?

 

[Bob Peale]

So Bob...what lucky lady were you holding hostage?

Shhh!

They might hear...

 

[Laurel]

Oh, sorry... *looks around suspiciously*

 

[Bob Peale]

Ya know, with friends like you, who needs enemas?

 

[Laurel]

Why I oughtta... *hits Bob with the Moe two-finger eye poke* Whoop whoop!

 

[PacificBlue]

I have no idea where you live but maybe this is where it was going???

http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/08/30/sacramento.killings/index.html

 

[Bob Peale]

I have no idea where you live but maybe this is where it was going???

http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/08/30/sacramento.killings/index.html

Nope, not there.

Unfortunately, I live on that street. You know the one, the one where you usually see the neighbors on camera saying things like, "Oh, nothing like thi shas ever happened here, not in all my years. And he was such a nice, quiet boy. Used to shovel my walk for free in the winter."

Then again, since it doesn't usually get below 50, what exactly WAS he shovelling?

 

[SimplySouthern]

Isn't it always those nice quiet boys?

Of course, if serial killers looked like serial killers it wouldn't be as easy to find victims.

I, myself, live in that town where no matter what happens the camera crews crawl under the bridge and find the drunkest bums to be had and begin questioning them...ON CAMERA for the 6 o'clock news. I'm sure the rest of the state thinks highly of us.

We once had a chemical plant to catch fire. Actually, I believe explode would be a better word for it. When the camera crews arrive an hour later the fire is pretty much under control. They (as luck would have it) find a nice quiet little street near the blaze and interview the man in cutoffs, no shirt and no shoes. This man has one tooth in his head and it is mostly rotten. His hair (well, the part that hasn't fallen out) is long and shaggy. It really can't be called hair, it's more like fluff. At any rate, they ask him what happened (nevermind the multitude of cops and firemen that might actually know something). He replies that him and his buddies "was outside drinking us a few" when we heard this big "KABOOM" and saw the chemical place blow up. "We all took of a-running towards it to see what had happened". He went on to say that they turned back when "the fumes got to messing with our heads".

Bless their hearts.

 

[PacificBlue]

Sometimes you have to wonder about people...like those who get a little closer to an exploding volcano to get a closer look...sheesh!!!

 

[Bob Peale]

We once had a chemical plant to catch fire. Actually, I believe explode would be a better word for it.

OK, we're not talking fine line here, SS

 

[Bob Peale]

Sometimes you have to wonder about people...like those who get a little closer to an exploding volcano to get a closer look...sheesh!!!

Did you see the surfer in Florida who was pissed because they made him get out of the water because there was a school of 20 Sharks?

He said, "It's my life and I should be able to do what I please with it."

His father should have worn a rubber...

 

[Ask For More]

If only he had died.....he would have been a candidate worthy of the Darwin Award

 

[Bob Peale]

Nah, typically God looks out for fools and children

speaking of which...

http://www.officialdarwinawards.com/

 

[Ask For More]

That site is a true example of God looking out for fools

Come to think of it there's only so much you can do!

 

[PacificBlue]

Did you see the surfer in Florida who was pissed because they made him get out of the water because there was a school of 20 Sharks?

He said, "It's my life and I should be able to do what I please with it."

His father should have worn a rubber...

For some reason this reminds me of that comedian who did all those "here's your sign" jokes... Example... Your loading a moving truck with all your things and your neighbor comes over and asks..."Are you moving?" Nope! We're just loading our stuff up to see how long it would take.

 

[April]

Bill Engvall

 

[Bob Peale]

For some reason this reminds me of that comedian who did all those "here's your sign" jokes... Example... Your loading a moving truck with all your things and your neighbor comes over and asks..."Are you moving?" Nope! We're just loading our stuff up to see how long it would take.

Oh Damn, it was Bill somebody...

He was the same one that said that stupid people ought to wear signs. For instance, the reason we have instructions on a Preperation H tube is because he was sure someone wrote in and said, "I've taken almost this whole tube and I still have hemorrhoids, but I can't swallow anything large than a peanut!

 

[PacificBlue]

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

 

[PacificBlue]

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

 

[PacificBlue]

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report.
He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge... Here's your sign."

 

[PacificBlue]

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

 

[Laurel]

Isn't it always those nice quiet boys?

Of course, if serial killers looked like serial killers it wouldn't be as easy to find victims.

Have you ever noticed that when a pillar-of-the-community-type is unmasked as a serial killer, everyone who knows him says, "We never would ave suspected!" but if he's discovered instead to be a molester or rapist, the same people will say, "There was always something a little weird about that guy..."