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LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Tell a Joke

Did you hear about the Pollack (or blonde, take your pick) researcher? She did a controlled experiment on flies.

She put 10 flies in the control group and 10 flies in the test group.

First, she took the ten flies in the control group and placed them, one by one, on the table and said "Fly fly" and the fly flew.

Then, she took the test group and, one by one, she pulled their wings off, set them on the table and said "Fly fly" and the fly just sat there.

Her conclusion....."when you pull the wings off a fly it becomes deaf"
 
Computerized Airliner


The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically.

The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner.

Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong ... Nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...."
 
If you have Internet access set up in your home, you can get the most out of your plan by maximizing your WiFi signal. Here are some handy (and free) tricks to boost your reach.

First, increasing your signal is as easy as moving your home router. Instead of placing it by the TV or cable box, move it to the best place the the house: the attic. It has the least amount of walls and other obstructions, and is a central spot. Additionally, since radio waves spread laterally and down, your attic can be an ideal place for your router.

Need an extra signal boost? Use an aluminum can. Start by removing the pull tab, as well as the bottom of the can. Then, cut the top of the can almost off, leaving only about an inch uncut. Opposite to that, cut the length of the can and pull back the sides. It should roughly resemble a radar dish. Then, by turning the can over and sliding its mouth over your router's antenna, it should give your signal the boost it needs.

So, follow these tips to get the most out of your WiFi. You'll ensure that your signal covers all your home's corners, without reaching into your wallet
 
Dirty Tampons
A Polak, an American, and a German had a room full of dirty tampons, and they decided to have a contest to see who could stay in there the longest.
First it was the American's turn. The other two locked him in the room and waited. A week later, they heard him whimpering and pounding on the door so they let him out.
"That is the sickest smell I have ever endured!" cried the American. "I couldn't stay in there another minute!"
Next it was the German's turn. After a month he finally banged on the door to be let out. "Oh God, that is the most putrid smell in the world! I couldn't take it another minute!" he cried as he gasped for breath.
Finally it was the Polak's turn. They locked him in the room and waited. A week went by, a month, a year.
The German and American heard nothing. Finally they began to worry, so they yelled through the door, "You can come out now! You've won the contest by far!"
To which the Polak yelled back, "No, not yet! I'm not done eating the jelly donuts."
 
Thought for the Day !

How the Heck did Jesus find guys named Peter, John, James, Matthew, Andrew, Phillip, Thomas & Simon....... in the Middle East?
 
I bet you didn't Know this. This is a great bit of history.... Cheap Watches

If you were in the market for a watch in 1880, would you know where to get one? You would go to a store, right? Well, of course you could do that, but if you wanted one that was cheaper and a bit better than most of the store watches, you went to the train station! Sound a bit funny? Well, for about 500 towns across the northern United States, that's where the best watches were found.

Why were the best watches found at the train station? The railroad company wasn't selling the watches, not at all The telegraph operator was. Most of the time the telegraph operator was located in the railroad station because the telegraph lines followed the railroad tracks from town to town. It was usually the shortest distance and the right-of-ways had already been secured for the rail line.

Most of the station agents were also skilled telegraph operators and that was the primary way that they communicated with the railroad. They would know when trains left the previous station and when they were due at their next station. And it was the telegraph operator who had the watches. As a matter of fact they sold more of them than almost all the stores combined for a period of about 9 years.

This was all arranged by "Richard", who was a telegraph operator himself. He was on duty in the North Redwood, Minnesota train station one day when a load of watches arrived from the East. It was a huge crate of pocket watches. No one ever came to claim them.



So Richard sent a telegram to the manufacturer and asked them what they wanted to do with the watches. The manufacturer didn't want to pay the freight back, so they wired Richard to see if he could sell them. So Richard did. He sent a wire to every agent in the system asking them if they wanted a cheap, but good, pocket watch. He sold the entire case in less than two days and at a handsome profit.

That started it all. He ordered more watches from the watch company and encouraged the telegraph operators to set up a display case in the station offering high quality watches for a cheap price to all the travelers. It worked! It didn't take long for the word to spread and, before long, people other than travelers came to the train station to buy watches.

Richard became so busy that he had to hire a professional watch maker to help him with the orders. That was Alvah. And the rest is history as they say.

The business took off and soon expanded to many other lines of dry goods.

Richard and Alvah left the train station and moved their company to Chicago -- and it's still there.

YES, IT'S A LITTLE KNOWN FACT that for a while in the 1880's, the biggest watch retailer in the country was at the train station. It all started with a telegraph operator: Richard Sears and his partner Alvah Roebuck!




Bet You Didn't Know Dat!!!


History of Sears and Roebuck

Richard Warren Sears was a railroad station agent in North Redwood, Minnesota, when he received an impressive shipment of watches from a Chicago jeweler which were unwanted by a local jeweler. Sears purchased them, then sold the watches for a considerable profit to other station agents, then ordered more for resale. Soon he started a business selling watches through mail order catalogs. The next year, he moved to Chicago, Illinois where he met Alvah C. Roebuck, who joined him in the business. In 1893, the corporate name became Sears, Roebuck & Co.
In 1893, Richard Sears and Alvah Roebuck renamed their watch company Sears, Roebuck & Company and began to diversify. The company had sales of $800,000 in 1895, but the national Panic of 1893--a full scale depression--caused a cash squeeze and large quantities of unsold merchandise. Roebuck decided to quit (though he later returned in a publicity role). Sears offered Roebuck's half of the company to Chicago businessman Aaron Nusbaum, who in turn brought in his brother-in-law Julius Rosenwald, to whom Sears owed money. In August 1895, they bought Roebuck's half of the company for $75,000. The new Sears, Roebuck and Company was re-incorporated in Illinois with a capital stock of $150,000 in August 1895. Sears and Rosenwald got along well, but Nusbaum was a problem. Sears and Rosenwald bought him out for $1.3 million in 1903.



Sears, Roebuck & Co. letterhead boasting of its Chicago plant, 1907


Rosenwald brought to the mail order firm a rational management philosophy and diversified product lines: dry goods, consumer durables, drugs, hardware, furniture, and nearly anything else a farm household could desire. From 1895 to 1907, under Rosenwald's leadership as Vice President and Treasurer, annual sales of the company climbed from $750,000 to upwards of $50 million. The prosperity of the company and their vision for greater expansion led Sears and Rosenwald to take the company public in 1906, with $40 million in stock. After Sears resigned the presidency in 1908 due to declining health, Rosenwald was named president and chairman of the board and had full control. Sears's successful 1906 initial public offering (IPO) marks the first major retail IPO in American financial history and represented a coming of age, financially, of the consumer sector.

The company was badly hurt during 1919-21 as a severe depression hit the nation's farms after farmers had over expanded their holdings. To bail out the company, Rosenwald pledged $21 million of his personal wealth. By 1922, Sears had regained financial stability. First he oversaw the design and construction of the company's first department store within Sears, Roebuck's massive 16-hectare (40-acre) headquarters complex of offices, laboratories and mail-order operations at Homan Ave. and Arthington St. on Chicago's West Side. The store opened in 1925. In 1924, Rosenwald resigned the presidency, but remained as chairman until his death in 1932; his goal was to devote more time to philanthropy.

Sears began to diversify in the 1930s, adding Allstate Insurance Company in 1931 and placing Allstate representatives in its stores in 1934. Over the decades it established major national brands, such as Kenmore, Craftsman, DieHard, Silvertone, Supertone, and Toughskins. The company became a conglomerate during the mid-20th century, adding Dean Witter and Coldwell Banker real estate in 1981, starting Prodigy as a joint venture with IBM in 1984, and introducing the Discover credit card in 1985. In March 2009, Sears purchased the social search engine Delver.

In the 1990s, the company began divesting itself of many non-retail entities, which were detrimental to the company's bottom line. Sears spun off its financial services arm which included brokerage business Dean Witter Reynolds and Discover Card. It sold its mall building subsidiary Homart to General Growth Propertiesin 1995. Sears later acquired hardware chain Orchard Supply Hardware in 1996 and started home improvement store The Great Indoors in 1997.

In 1993, Sears terminated its famous general merchandise catalog because of sinking sales and profits. Sears Holdings continues to produce specialty catalogs and reintroduced a smaller version of the Holiday Wish Book in 2007.

In 2003, Sears sold its retail credit card operation to Citibank. The remaining card operations were sold to JPMorgan Chase in August 2005. In 2003, Sears opened a new concept store called Sears Grand. Sears Grand stores carry everything that a regular Sears carries, and more. Sears Grand stores are about 175,000 to 225,000 square feet (16,300 to 19,500 m²).

On November 17, 2004, Kmart announced its intentions to purchase Sears. As a part of the purchase, the Kmart Holdings Corporation would change its name to Sears Holdings Corporation. The new corporation announced that it would continue to operate stores under both the Sears and Kmart brands. In 2005, the company began renovating some Kmart stores and converting them to the Sears Essentials format, only to change them later to Sears Grands.
 
Jesus
Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.
Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."
Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."
When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?"
He replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!"
 
A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town


The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.


Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down.)

What were you thinking?







Her husband speaks English....hellooo!
 
Estate Planning

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he
decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
 
After meeting on OkCupid, online daters Clara Bensen and Jeff Wilson of Austin, Texas, decided to skip getting coffee on their first date. Instead they took a 21-day excursion across eight countries in Europe, packing only what they could fit in their pockets.

Bensen, who recounted her crazy first date in a Salon.com article, originally joined OkCupid to meet a range of men, but was quickly smitten with Wilson. "My original idea was to make my life a little more interesting. That was my friend's recommendation," she told HuffPost Live Host Nancy Redd.

"So I got on and I was planning to do this sort of social experiment where I dated one guy for each day of the week. So I created my account, and about two hours later I found his profile and my original plan kind of went out the window."

When Wilson asked Bensen to join him on a 21-day trek across Europe for their first date, she didn't hesitate to accept. But she wasn't initially keen on the suggestion that they would literally leave all of their baggage behind.

"The part that I didn't think was going to stick with her was when I suggested that we go without any luggage-- that we wear the same pair of clothes for 21 days," Wilson said. "And I said, 'I'm going to do this. I'm already fully in.' She initially sent me a text within about 30 seconds saying, 'you go ahead and do that. I'm going to be bringing a backpack.' And then something switched."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Bensen added. "It's just three weeks. If I hate it, I can buy a backpack."

The couple is now planning their next adventure together. "We cashed in all our miles and decided that we're headed to South America this December while Jeff's on his break," Bensen said.But this time around, she will bring one crucial item she learned she can't travel without: a tube of toothpaste.
 
One night, my wife told me she want to do something exciting. So we got naked and she tied me to the bed. She got dressed and walked out the door.
 
Robotic Bartender
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.
A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"
The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."
Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"
The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."
A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"
The man replied, "80."
The robot then said, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"
 
What does Axl Rose say after running into the coffee table in the dark?

"Ouch, my....shun n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n knee! Knee!"
 
Polish Vodka
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka.
As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka.
Since I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."

To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other.
"This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot."
But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home.
When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Gradowski twins are here again."
 
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