Tax Time!

[Mischka]

For all you Americans, the deadline to file your taxes is right around the corner. Woohoo, what joy, what fun! In case any of you are puzzled about how to handle any under-the-table hush money or the "inheritance" your "uncle" left you, the IRS has very helpfully provided the following on their web site:

"Illegal income, such as stolen or embezzled money, must be included in your gross income."

Just doing my part to make filing your taxes less painful.

 

[indyweasel]

Ummmm.. thanks

I'll keep that in mind.

 

[Weevil]

What about stolen Merchandise? Do I have to have all 15 of my new VCR's appraised?

And for drugs, do I figure their worth in what I paid for them or in what I intend to sell them for?

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Good question EBW. We'd better get these questions straightened out before Monday. I'd hate to be audited and have the feds find out that I stiffed them their blood money.

 

[Weevil]

No doubt. I don't know who this "Drug Czar" fellow is but I want to make sure he gets his cut. I'd sure hate for him to break my legs.

 

[indyweasel]

No. No. No.

They dont break legs anymore. That keeps you from selling the product. The just take the tip of your pinky the first week. They keep working around your hand once a week until you come up with your pennance.