Tasks assigned and accepted

[@}-}rebecca----]

what I was refering to was the first difinition of manipulatiopn not the others

ma·nip·u·late tr.v. ma·nip·u·lat·ed, ma·nip·u·lat·ing, ma·nip·u·lates

1. To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner: She manipulated the lights to get just the effect she wanted.
2. To influence or manage shrewdly or deviously: He manipulated public opinion in his favor.
3. To tamper with or falsify for personal gain: tried to manipulate stock prices.
4. Medicine. To handle and move in an examination or for therapeutic purposes: manipulate a joint; manipulate the position of a fetus during delivery.


By that definition do not all Dom/mes manipulate us?

May I start by thanking you amasterfound for clarifying how you used the word 'manipulate' .

In relation to your further question ' By that definition do not all Dom/mes manipulate us?' my answer in direct response to my own experiences is no.

The main reason I would not use 'manipulate' to describe the intricacies that have existed between myself and Dominants I have shared relationships with over the last 20 years is quite simple. It would be dishonest to use a word that has negative connotations .

As a secondary thought in regards to the example cited after the meaning you defined 'To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner: She manipulated the lights to get just the effect she wanted' I do not consider myself an inanimate object unworthy of thought or lacking responsibility in my D/s relationships either. So that definition of the word also fails me.

I also hazard a reasonable guess that the Dominants/Masters I have served would not overly appreciate the context of the word as I know it to be , used to describe their conduct in the context of our lives together.

 

[amasterfound]

Understood! Every relationship is different. So is everyone else.

 

[FurryFury]

First you have to register here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/


then go here and register and follow the steps the give you. it is all free. http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/academy/index.php?

I am both a performer AND a TM there since I am a switch.

Amasterfound,

Thanks for letting me know about these sites.

How are you both a performer and a TM there? What does TM mean? What does performer mean in this context? Could you please explain what you meant by that?

I am looking over the site. It's interesting. I'm not sure I enjoy tasks that much to do them for just anyone and particularly for someone I haven't an already established connection and trust with.

Then again, I have to do most things for myself, by myself so maybe I will try something. We'll see how great my hunger becomes and if it drives me in that direction.

Thanks again for the information so far,

Fury

 

[amasterfound]

Amasterfound,

Thanks for letting me know about these sites.

How are you both a performer and a TM there? What does TM mean? What does performer mean in this context? Could you please explain what you meant by that?

I am looking over the site. It's interesting. I'm not sure I enjoy tasks that much to do them for just anyone and particularly for someone I haven't an already established connection and trust with.

Then again, I have to do most things for myself, by myself so maybe I will try something. We'll see how great my hunger becomes and if it drives me in that direction.

Thanks again for the information so far,

Fury

A performer is the same as a sub. A TM is the same as a Master. TM is short for TaskMaster

 

[FurryFury]

A performer is the same as a sub. A TM is the same as a Master.

Gotcha! Thanks for the explaination.

Fury

 

[amasterfound]

Gotcha! Thanks for the explaination.

Fury

You Welcome!

 

[FurryFury]

My favorite tasks were the ones that made me learn along WITH my husband so that we as a couple grew closer to those things I have a deep need for.

Fury

 

[Red Sonja]

My favorite tasks were the ones that made me learn along WITH my husband so that we as a couple grew closer to those things I have a deep need for.

Fury

I can understand that. I love learning/working with my hubby on a variety of things. It helps to reinforce our bond and to focus on the fact that we are a team.

What kind of tasks, if it isn't impolite to ask?

 

[FurryFury]

I can understand that. I love learning/working with my hubby on a variety of things. It helps to reinforce our bond and to focus on the fact that we are a team.

What kind of tasks, if it isn't impolite to ask?

Not at all Red Sonja!

Keep in mind that I currently and at this time also felt that both my husband and I are subs.

One such task was to practice a stinging slap to my own ass then prepare to use it on my husband.

In addition I was to give him a blow job and "any thing else" I could to excite him before I got the main event which was fucking his ass and spanking him with the aforementioned stinging slaps.

I always also supposed to pause and say, "Do you want it," making him answer and beg before continuing all through this.

My husband won't beg. That's fine with me but it was a HUGE breakthrough for us because he learned what I had been telling him all along about spankings that they can feel like pure sensation not just pain.

Also he got just a taste of being topped and a taste of what I might like.

He liked it.

I liked it.

It has helped up grow.

There should be a manual with this sort of stuff in it and there probably is but I don't know about it!

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Anyone else have a task or even a tip to share?

Fury

 

[RJMasters]

What is the difference between tasking someone and someone accepting a commitment?

Anyone else have a task or even a tip to share?

Fury

 

[Kajira Callista]

What is the difference between tasking someone and someone accepting a commitment?

realllyyyyyyyyyy good sex..and just ok sex?

 

[Red Sonja]

Anyone else have a task or even a tip to share?

Fury

Well, initially in our relationship... I would get sort of scared of the bondage thing. Dh decided that to help me get over it... I needed to actually be the one putting myself in bondage.

So initially, we started with just having me tie up one leg... that was safe. My hands were free so I could untie it, and the rest of my body was free. And we built on from there.. now, it isn't even a problem. I kind of feel silly that it made me so panicked, but it sure did at the time.

 

[RJMasters]

realllyyyyyyyyyy good sex..and just ok sex?

*puts a gold star by KC's name.

Aside from the degree of pleasure from sex...what is the difference?

 

[Kajira Callista]

*puts a gold star by KC's name.

Aside from the degree of pleasure from sex...what is the difference?

*bats lashes* there is more to this then sex? *looks innocent*

 

[FurryFury]

What is the difference between tasking someone and someone accepting a commitment?

I feel really shakily fallible today so I'll probably get this totally wrong.

One is deeper than the other, I think.

Fury

realllyyyyyyyyyy good sex..and just ok sex?

LOL! Could be that too!

Fury

Well, initially in our relationship... I would get sort of scared of the bondage thing. Dh decided that to help me get over it... I needed to actually be the one putting myself in bondage.

So initially, we started with just having me tie up one leg... that was safe. My hands were free so I could untie it, and the rest of my body was free. And we built on from there.. now, it isn't even a problem. I kind of feel silly that it made me so panicked, but it sure did at the time.

It sounds like your Dh is a smart and patient man with some ingenuity. That's great. We all have things that flip us and we don't know why, it doesn't really make sense it just is. You over came yours! Bravo!

Fury

 

[RJMasters]

*bats lashes* there is more to this then sex? *looks innocent*

Shakes the Dom magic 8 ball.....

the answer that magically appears...

~~~Without a doubt the answer is "Yes"~~~

 

[Kajira Callista]

Shakes the Dom magic 8 ball.....

the answer that magically appears...

~~~Without a doubt the answer is "Yes"~~~

*smiles sweetly but refuses to give up the answer*

 

[RJMasters]

*smiles sweetly but refuses to give up the answer*

Grumbles and chucks the stupid 8 ball out the window.

ok Foo foo says one is deeper than the other, which may or may not go along with KC's original view of degrees of sexual pleasure depending on how you look at it.

However there is a in my mind a difference between the two....

 

[Kajira Callista]

Grumbles and chucks the stupid 8 ball out the window.

ok Foo foo says one is deeper than the other, which may or may not go along with KC's original view of degrees of sexual pleasure depending on how you look at it.

However there is a in my mind a difference between the two....

well are ya gonna tell us...or what?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

What is the difference between tasking someone and someone accepting a commitment?

Aside from the degree of pleasure from sex...what is the difference?

i can't believe i'm going to repeat this yet again.

Therein lies the trap for both the sadist and masochist & dominant and submissive. Sure, i can enjoy inflicting pain, but i want the high wire. If my partner nearly loses her mind in pain, yet still orgasms in spite of herself; enjoys the humiliation, yet expresses doubt in her sanity afterwards ... and still comes back for more ... i have found fulfillment.

 

[RJMasters]

well are ya gonna tell us...or what?

Task are assigned through an established or recognised relationship of accepted authority, where as a commitment is something that is agree upon by both parties.

Tasks are assigned, followed and obey because a pre-existing relationship exist where as authority has already be granted and established.

In the case of a commitment, no such pre-existing relationship need exist, as the commitment itself is agreed to equally by both parties involved.

For example,

One might desire that someone tell them to exercise.

Another sees that and takes "time" to draw up a commitment to an exercise schedule.

If one accepts the commitment. is this a task? In my mind no, it is a commitment which one person has put forth and another has accepted.

Should one fail in their commitment, then be asked to count the threads of say a BDSM library, then that would be a task. Enforced or held together only by the integrity of the commitment. Should either cease to care about the original commitment, tasking would be useless and ineffective.

Unless one knew where the other lived and showed up with a crop in hand to ensure they got their count of knee lifts.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Task are assigned through an established or recognised relationship of accepted authority, where as a commitment is something that is agree upon by both parties.

Tasks are assigned, followed and obey because a pre-existing relationship exist where as authority has already be granted and established.

In the case of a commitment, no such pre-existing relationship need exist, as the commitment itself is agreed to equally by both parties involved.

For example,

One might desire that someone tell them to exercise.

Another sees that and takes "time" to draw up a commitment to an exercise schedule.

If one accepts the commitment. is this a task? In my mind no, it is a commitment which one person has put forth and another has accepted.

Should one fail in their commitment, then be asked to count the threads of say a BDSM library, then that would be a task. Enforced or held together only by the integrity of the commitment. Should either cease to care about the original commitment, tasking would be useless and ineffective.

Unless one knew where the other lived and showed up with a crop in hand to ensure they got their count of knee lifts.

that didnt make sense to me. but i like tasks.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Unless one knew where the other lived and showed up with a crop in hand to ensure they got their count of knee lifts.

Or a van full of midget clowns with ostrich feathers ...

 

[RJMasters]

that didnt make sense to me. but i like tasks.

Its my mind....it rarely makes sense to anyone except me....I got the arrow wound in my butt to prove it.