Swingers Hotel

[duckandbunny79]

Ended

Ended

 

[chocolatecookie3]

I suggest you get an editor to help with the grammar. It's a good story and good action, but it just feels like everything runs together and goes very quickly. More line breaks would help.

 

[duckandbunny79]

Thanks Chocolate,

Ended

 

[alwayslookingmf]

I really like the direction you are taking in the second chapter with the at first slightly hesitant or apprehensive wife now embracing the pleasures on offer and really taking control. It's very arousing while not heading in the cuckold direction that some stories take.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

 

[duckandbunny79]

Ended

 

[Steel_n_Silk]

I am enjoying the story...
I agree it needs the touch of an editor, but the ideas are well done.
there were a few places that needed a little clarification but all in all it was a fun read.

 

[duckandbunny79]

Ended

 

[Steel_n_Silk]

You are doing fine.
Collaborating is hard, muses don't go at the same speed for everyone.
Be patient... I am sure we will all find it worth the wait

 

[duckandbunny79]

The wifes point of view

Ended

 

[Steel_n_Silk]

I look forward to reading it!

 

[duckandbunny79]

Ended

 

[duckandbunny79]

Ended