Support Group - Driving Me Nuts.

[ms.read]

Okay, here it is. Im not bullshitting you. I need some help.

I don't have a driver's Liscence . (yeah that little card that says I'm legal to drive)

No, I didn't lose it through parking tickets, or drunk driving or anything like that. I just never got My Driver's liscence.

I am scared. I've never done the test before. Yes, I have had my permit. ( like four times.) But driving scares me.

I really need to be able to drive though. So I can get to work and grocery store and stuff. I pay about $100.00 a week on taxi's not including tips (fucking rip offs.) and it would be cheaper for me to own and drive a car, even with the insane gas prices.

So I am reaching out to you for support and Ideas on how to deal with getting my little card. I need to be independent.

Please..Please!

 

[sxcascinn]

Okay, here it is. Im not bullshitting you. I need some help.

I don't have a driver's Liscence . (yeah that little card that says I'm legal to drive)

No, I didn't lose it through parking tickets, or drunk driving or anything like that. I just never got My Driver's liscence.

I am scared. I've never done the test before. Yes, I have had my permit. ( like four times.) But driving scares me.

I really need to be able to drive though. So I can get to work and grocery store and stuff. I pay about $100.00 a week on taxi's not including tips (fucking rip offs.) and it would be cheaper for me to own and drive a car, even with the insane gas prices.

So I am reaching out to you for support and Ideas on how to deal with getting my little card. I need to be independent.

Please..Please!

Big Hugs I can't offer any advice.. As I don't have mine either.... 31yr old mother with no Idea how to drive...
the older i get.. the harder it seems to even take the first step

 

[human_male]

I have a bit of a mental block when it comes to driving too. I don't really know what you can do to make it easier but if you're motivated to get your license then that should make it easier.

I can drive. I forced myself to learn when I was young. But I've never got over this block and just driving up the road is enough to cause anxiety. Although, lots of stuff causes me anxiety these days.

I wish you well.

 

[amicus]

I am going to assume that you are not, 'bullshitting'...but really asking...

Far be it from the general consensus I know, but I really am quite a nice guy and helpful in my ways...

First of all, you have a permit, which means you know how to drive. Second, do your have your own vehicle and will it pass whatever inspection criteria your local authorities have in place, assuming again that you are a US citizen in a State somewhere, I have no knowledge outside the US.

Study the Driver's Manual available at the DMV, backwards and forwards and there are trick questions, badly worded. Do it a hundred times for each example test question.

Have all the identification required available when you go for the examination and you have a choice, written questions or by computer, choose the one you are most comfortable with.

Read each question carefully, three times and if an obvious answer does not appear, continue and come back to it at the end.

If you do all that, you will pass the written examination.

Now comes the actual driving test.

They will inspect your vehicle, everything that is required must work and you must demonstrate that it works, turn signals, brake lights, head lights and of course seat belts must be functional and you must insist the driving examiner buckle up before your even start the vehicle or he/she will scribble a note.

Do exactly as they say. Always, always, look in the rearview mirror and the sideview mirrors if you have them and then, always, always, turn your head around and look yourself with your own eyes and not the mirror.

Follow instructions. Back up, turn, always looking all ways, merge into traffic, wait, don't force it, don't be in a hurry. Follow directions, if you are told to change lanes, use the turn signal, if you are told to turn a certain distance ahead, use the turn signal well ahead of time. Slow to a stop before a yellow light, keep looking in all directions.

If they require parallel parking, practice a lot. If they require parking on an incline, remember to not only put the transmission in Park, but set the hand brake and turn the wheels in the appropriate direction depending on an uphill or a downhill incline, all of which is explained in the manual.

Don't smile, don't flirt, don't make conversation and speak only formally, impersonally...

And...you will pay the fee and acquire your driving license.

ahem....


Amicus...

 

[keeblercrumb]

Amicus advice is exactly right(sic)... seriously.... Make his post into a check list and do it all and you will pass.

If you are in the UK (or elsewhere)... things are a little different and a couple of his suggestions will not apply....

Good luck! Relax! Take a deep breath! In my younger days I raced motorcycles for a year or two but when I returned to my home state they had established a driving test explicitly for motorcycles... They flunked me because I let my feet touch the ground when making figure eights and stuff.... Sillly because that is exactly what you should do... but there you go!

The good news they will let you take it again so don't worry about failing! Concentrate on the taxi money you will save!

-KC

 

[starrkers]

Okay, here it is. Im not bullshitting you. I need some help.

I don't have a driver's Liscence . (yeah that little card that says I'm legal to drive)

No, I didn't lose it through parking tickets, or drunk driving or anything like that. I just never got My Driver's liscence.

I am scared. I've never done the test before. Yes, I have had my permit. ( like four times.) But driving scares me.

I really need to be able to drive though. So I can get to work and grocery store and stuff. I pay about $100.00 a week on taxi's not including tips (fucking rip offs.) and it would be cheaper for me to own and drive a car, even with the insane gas prices.

So I am reaching out to you for support and Ideas on how to deal with getting my little card. I need to be independent.

Please..Please!

I have no idea where you live, so this may be impossible.
Do you have somewhere quiet you can practise? Get your confidence up where there's no traffic and then gradually move into busier areas.

 

[emap]

Honestly being a scared rabbit isn't a bad thing, with the way people drive it will keep you alive longer.

Follow what Ami says, though keep in mind, you get to try again, if you only failed at the driving test you can come back and do that again. Unless they have changed it you only have to redo what you failed, if anything.

Also, if you have a permit, find a licensed driver and go out for practice drives, get used to all those people going as fast as they can to get to places that don't go anywhere. Memorize that darn book, know the laws and do try and relax a bit. Don't worry you will get a license.

 

[oggbashan]

Ask a friend, NOT a close relative or lover, to help you practise.

If there is someone whose judgement you trust, and from whom you can accept criticism without sparking an argument, then they are ideal to help you.

If you can afford it, professional driving instructors are the best solution. They are used to getting nervous drivers through the examination. They can be expensive but will instil confidence.

My parents didn't start to learn to drive until they were in their late 40s - and then they were in Gibraltar. All the driving was either from a hill start or in very narrow and congested streets with excitable drivers. They managed. My mother passed on her first attempt. That annoyed my father who had to take his test five times. Later on they drove across Europe and Australia and my father drove a hired car in Manhattan when in his late 70s.

You can do it. You just need the right kind of help.

Og

 

[colddiesel]

If you can run a car, finance it, licence it, pay road taxes running costs maintenance etc, insurance and depreciation for less than $5000 a year( your taxi Costs) you will be doing reasonably well.

Then when you have worked that out learn to drive anyway just for the freedom it gives you.

Good Luck.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Driving creates a whole new set of reflexes. When you learn and practice, it becomes automatic.

You can do it

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

MS. READ

Unless I'm mistaken, you have a phobia for driving.

Phobia's are easy to fix. In most cases a phobia can be neutralized in one session.

Look for a therapist who is certified to practice NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP). The fix is very simple and involves almost no disclosure of personal-private information. Mostly the therapist instructs you how to defeat the chatter in your head that scares you. You get the instructions, practice them, and when the phobia fades away you leave the office.

You'll stop hearing YOURE GONNA DIE! and hear some nice Barry Manilow tunes or maybe Lawrence Welk and his Champagne Music Makers instead. I like circus calliope music when I fix my own phobias. Some people like to replace the hysteria with Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams' skits. Its hard to be afraid when youre laughing your ass off.

 

[Liar]

I found that the best motivation I could get for overcoming my reluctance to take thge driver's test was...to buy a car.

And then imagining the sillyness of having a car but not being allowed to use it.

 

[cloudy]

Wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't remember not knowing how to drive - my uncle had me out driving around in the farm pickup at around 10 or 11. It was a standard transmission, too...three speed on the column.

Once you get used to it, you'll have a hard time believing it ever scared you. Good luck.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

Take a deep breath, and make a plan. Remember the benefits of getting your license, and the pain of not having it. Your biggest enemy is your own anxiety. Accept that that is a very natural reaction, and a part of your life at this point. And then carry out your plan.

You can't do worse than me! It took me four tries to get that little fucker! By the fourth I was a wreck, but by then I had learned to expect that and prepare for it. If I can do it (I was one spazzy teenager - when I started!!), so can you.

Good luck!

 

[Weird Harold]

I am scared. I've never done the test before. Yes, I have had my permit. ( like four times.) But driving scares me.

I really need to be able to drive though. So I can get to work and grocery store and stuff. I pay about $100.00 a week on taxi's not including tips (fucking rip offs.) and it would be cheaper for me to own and drive a car, even with the insane gas prices.

My Ex-wife had a similar problem getting her license -- the solution was to send her to a commercial driving school with a professional driving instructor who specifically prepared her to take the driving test.

However, getting your license isn't necessarily going to cure your anxiety about driving, so you need to figure out WHY driving scares you and address that issue. A good professional instructor might be able to help in that regard, but neither my ex-wife nor youngest daughter ever got over their anxiety issues and neither drives today.

 

[jomar]

If you're just afraid of the test and being observed, take a Xanax before the test.

If driving while other cars are on the road scares you, therapy can help, as will practice. If you're near a university maybe there's a virtual reality program for driving fears - that would be cool. You might have to search for a therapist experienced in NLP, but cognitive-behavioral therapy can certainly help and there are lots of people who do that. And look into relaxation breathing a la 'The Relaxation Response' by Herbert Benson, and maybe 'The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook' by Bourne, just cause.

Remember, anticipatory fears can get in the way, but are worse than the actual event. Driving is just a skill like any other that takes time to master - and it can be.

 

[ms.read]

The Right Papers

Good Information from all of you.

I really need this guys so...here is my first step.

I printed out the paper and filled it out to go for my permit test. ( I let the first four run out) I have taken the driver's ed course, and passed. so that is no problem. I gotta get that thing in the mail. God, I am So scared. I've been putting this off since august when I failed the stupid permit test. After having a permit in another state.( anti lock brakes my ASS!) I sent the fee with the paperwork. Now its just waiting for the appt.

As for practice driving, I don't have any friends or family that live around here, They live in MA and I live in ME. So, do you think its possible to go to the driving school and request driving lessons?
oy, that's if i passed the damn permit test...

and to top it off, the test is two towns away and $40.00 to get there! ( one way fucking taxi)

BREATHE....



.... okay i am mailing the paper... now.


Breathe....

 

[ms.read]

okay... that last post was almost a lie. I am really sending out that paper now. Right now...

 

[jomar]

Mail it, quick!

You might consider buying a car - it'd be easier getting a neighbor to ride with and buying them dinner than getting them to let you practice in their car.

Practice that calming breathing. Keep in mind that this test is not the end of the world. Might suck to fail, but you get more shots at it. By the way, also keep in mind that if a nervous 16 year-old can pass it, so can you.

In fact, now that I think about it in my state you don't need to pass the driving portion for your permit - just have proof of driver's ed. You do have to pass it to get the official license.

 

[ms.read]

Allright I did it! I mailed it out.

 

[Weird Harold]

As for practice driving, I don't have any friends or family that live around here, They live in MA and I live in ME. So, do you think its possible to go to the driving school and request driving lessons?
oy, that's if i passed the damn permit test...

and to top it off, the test is two towns away and $40.00 to get there! ( one way fucking taxi)

The driving school I sent my ex-wife was fopr the supervised behind the wheel driving lessons. They came to the house and picked her up, let her drive under the instructor's directions for one hour -- three days a week for six weeks -- and then picked her up and took her to the DMV to take the test in their car (the one she'd been learning in.)

That was 30 years ago, but I'm sure that similar drivers' training courses are available near you -- we picked a nationally franchised comapany from the yellow pages ads because they advertised the pick-up and the testing in their car.

 

[ms.read]

They actually do that?!

 

[Weird Harold]

They actually do that?!

They did 30 years ago in Tampa, FL and I don't see any reason that it wouldn't continue to be offered because it's a service that makes good business sense.

Of course, it's probably a lot more expensive now than the $150 it cost in 1978, but it should be available.

ETA:
According to http://www.medeanews.org/driving_schools.htm#County Map

and: http://www.caadrivertraining.com/Driver_Training/Maine/

You probably will have to pay about $35-$45/hour for private lessons top get the pick-up and testing perks, although one of the random schools I checked out will schedule pick-ups if feasible for the driving portions of theinstruction.

Both of those links have listings of driver's ed schools approved by the State of Maine and apparently they are deputized by the Maine DMV to issue the learner's permit and do the driver's license testing (?!!)

Your best bet is to check those listings an/or your local yellow pages to see what's available and what it will cost.

 

[Oblimo]

My wife did not learn to drive until she was 23. She failed the first exam -- it was a live-road (or whatever) instead of a course, and the examiner really knew how to feed back her anxieties.

We came up with the idea of extra non-teaching lessons -- just paying a stranger to be a calm passenger (and give driving directors) as she drove around the neighborhood. It really helped steady her nerves about it, and she had no problem the second time around.

 

[Oblimo]

They did 30 years ago in Tampa, FL and I don't see any reason that it wouldn't continue to be offered because it's a service that makes good business sense.

They did in New Jersey in the 90s, too.