Sucking Cum

[XtremelyConfusd]

This is about an odd direction I've received from my mistress, and I'd like to hear from others, not just about this practice, but on the questions:

Are there things you've been directed to do that seem at, of maybe beyond, your limits?

Have you been involved in some thing you felt repelled or disgusted by, but felt a kind of fascination/compulsion for it? Is that sick?

[Please don't read further, those who are of 'sensitive' nature; some may find the scene offensive; 'parental discretion is advised'. Go to another thread.]

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Sucking cum from a well-fucked bloody cunt:

Because she knew I was fascinated with cream pies, my mistress apparently decided to 'up the ante' and demonstrate her power over me. I can't quote her directions, but I will say what I would be doing:

I'm to find a suitable couple--with a clean bill of health--who are monogamous, since no condoms may be used. The woman is to be on the first heavy day of her period. She will remove any tampon. The man has sex with her, for a long time. His comes in her and keeps on fucking her for a bit. In other words, makes a large mess of blood and his cum and hers. After he withdraws, she is careful not to leak any, and presents herself to me, sitting over me.

I suck the bloody mix of fluids from her as she 'pushes' and makes sure everything goes out. I completely clean her up.

Part of me is repelled, but this woman seems to know a part of me I don't. She's using her power to have me dive into some pretty dark waters. BUT I'm fascinated, drawn. Is that sick? I don't know if I can carry it out.

Any experiences of being repelled, even disgusted, yet fascinated and drawn toward something really far out? Of asking yourself,
who am I that I'm drawn towards this stuff?

xc

 

[Chicklet]

If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. if you do, then, well...

 

[TxBelle]

Oh hone.....

don't worry about this. As someone new to the BDSM scene I don't have much to offer on that particular subject but on YOUR subject I can offer a little advice. Havin' your red wings is an honor. You are taking or thinking of taking the most taboo thing a woman has to offer.

Live a little. Since you stated you are curious then go for it. Be as responsible as possible (there are risks) and enjoy. If you find this isn't for you then atleast you know you gave it a shot.

Hugs
Belle

[edited because I'm too drunk to spell]

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

Thanks for the note, TxB, it seems like you understand the taboo and its fascination. There'd be no problem if a direction was simply wrong (kill the neighbor's cat) or pointlessly offensive (go eat from the garbage can across the street); it wouldn't happen.

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, there have been times that I hvae been directed to do things that the reasonable part of me is diametrically opposed to.

Then, using my reason,

a) I measure what this all really amounts to. You are doing that. It isn't a crime, it isn't unsafe, it is just gross.

b) Am I excited by the prospect of doing this thing? Yes. If I find it is something that excites me, whether the act or completing the act for Him, then, I move forward.

c) I know that when it comes to subspace and serving, there are no limits. So, I need to make these decisions before engaging in a scene of any kind.

If it excites you, if you look forward to her commendation after completing the act, if you know you and everyone else is safe, I say, "Go for it!"

So many things seemed distasteful to me and I later engaged in the acts for the reasons I stated above.

Good luck.

 

[bunny bondage]

MissT has a point. lots of my limits have been pushed and changed throughout my experiences. i now do things (nothing as extreme as "sucking cum" but still) that i once said i'd never do.

 

[WriterDom]

Ya know, I was getting ready to cook an omelet and was thinking about putting some salsa inside, but after reading this...

You did warn me though.

 

[lovetoread]

Ya know, I was getting ready to cook an omelet and was thinking about putting some salsa inside, but after reading this...

You did warn me though.

lmao...



Just try it and see if you like it.

You never know which fetish will become your next kink.

 

[Pure]

Ya know, I was getting ready to cook an omelet and was thinking about putting some salsa inside, but after reading this...

You did warn me though.

rotflmgdao!

 

[Rocket88]

I find that dry heaves are a workout for the abdominals.

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

Thanks to all, especially TxBelle and Ms T. Ms T said,

If it excites you, if you look forward to her commendation after completing the act, if you know you and everyone else is safe, I say, "Go for it!"

So many things seemed distasteful to me and I later engaged in the acts for the reasons I stated above.

I appreciate the clarification. Yes, gross, in some ways; 'distasteful'--don't know yet.

I've heard some folks eat scrambled calf brains, so... (writer dom: to add to menu?)

Ms T., are you going to keep us in suspense. Might you tell of one item that seemed, before, quite distasteful? Were you ordered to do it, or actually compelled?

Do you agree that the effect is greater if it's done 'voluntarily', as it were. Namely, you're not tied and subjected. To me that's a scary thing, like falling into deep waters. Confronted with the task, and so much mentally dominated/subjected that I 'do' it.
Isn't that more abject than a 'being forced physically' scenario.??

xc

 

[lark sparrow]

Directions from Mistress

I'm to find a suitable couple--with a clean bill of health--who are monogamous, since no condoms may be used. The woman is to be on the first heavy day of her period. She will remove any tampon. The man has have sex with her, for a long time. His comes in her and keeps on fucking her for a bit. In other words, makes a large mess of blood and his cum and hers. After her withdraws she is careful not to leak any, and presents herself to me, sitting over me.

Is this a scenario or directions?

How are you going about finding this?

Do you have a time limit for completion?

Will your Mistress be present?

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

Re: Directions from Mistress

Is this a scenario or directions?

How are you going about finding this?

Do you have a time limit for completion?

Will your Mistress be present?

Thanks for asking. Not sure where the questions are leading, but you are welcome to those items of info.

1. She asked that she not be quoted in her directions, so I wrote it up as a 'scene'. But the directions may be inferred directly.

2. Alternative press/media/internet; couples willing to 'perform'; one couple's response to this request (minus the menstrual dimension) was surprise and polite decline. Possibly, in the alternative, I should look for a working 'pro' mistress with a slave female or couple.

3. Not yet, but I think there will be.

4. She would not be present but wants to see photos/videotape, and receive a written account.

I hope this clarifies. May I ask if you've encountered a 'distasteful,' but not undoable or immoral, direction (if you are a sub)? Do you think, as I believe 'she' does, that the way to clearly demonstrate and establish power, is for a dom/me to insist on the sub's going into an area (not unsafe) of great discomfort, but with a weird fascination and eroticism?

xc

 

[lark sparrow]

The questions were out of curiousity. Given how specific and intimate the instructions are (finding said willing couple within a reasonable distance, that you are comfortable with), and the medical information such as blood tests and the like you might want to acquire beforehand, it seems an order that would be difficult to complete without a very generous time limit, if any.

For instance, if the couple is monogamous - how likely is it that they will let you participate? If you go to a pro Domme, you will probably have to session with her for an extended period before she would cross the line most have of no sex, no body fluids exchanged, etc. I would be concerned about these things if my Mistress ordered me to do them, not only from a safety perspective, but because if it was an absolute order that must be completed, or else, then it can't be impossible. Unless the intention is failure or striving for the goal, or simply making you fret about it, while excited as a possibility.

To answer your question. Distasteful... well, soap is certainly distasteful, and I have received soap in the mouth twice as punishment for using language I am not allowed to use. Probably not what you are looking for. There's pee play interest, from Her to me, but neither find it distasteful. We engage in humiliation play, but we both enjoy it and there are limits. Can't think of anything - perhaps we are just not into extremes. There are certain things she has mentioned like piercings or a tattoo in the future that would symbolize Her ownership, both giving me pause and exciting me, but we will worry about that when and if. She intends on learning how to use a single-tail... that both excites and scares me, but again, it's not happening right now.

Mistress doesn't share, so this scenario would be entirely out of the question, and most of the things that squick Her, squick me also - so not much to tell on that front. Honestly, I don't think she would be willing to even kiss me after said activity lol. But that is us, no judgement intended. As our hard limits are pretty much parallel I don't think there is much She would subject me to that was utterly extreme and completely taboo to me, as She would not have me do something wherein She could longer accept me. Boring? lol not to us. There's plenty of ways to push and pull. We joke about more extreme things at times, but when it comes down to actual play we are not there, at least not yet.

We don't get into "forced" play, and although my soft limits and reluctance or boundaries are often pushed in our mutual interests She does not look for things that disgust or repel me to prove my obedience or submission. I think She thinks of it more as daily submission and obedience, rather than dramatic, random acts. But different strokes, for different folks, truly. Thanks for answering the questions.

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

[cut
To answer your question. Distasteful... well, soap is certainly distasteful, and I have received soap in the mouth twice as punishment for using language I am not allowed to use. Probably not what you are looking for. There's pee play interest, from Her to me, but neither find it distasteful. We engage in humiliation play, but we both enjoy it and there are limits. Can't think of anything - perhaps we are just not into extremes. There are certain things she has mentioned like piercings or a tattoo in the future that would symbolize Her ownership, both giving me pause and exciting me, but we will worry about that when and if. She intends on learning how to use a single-tail... that both excites and scares me, but again, it's not happening right now.

Mistress doesn't share, so this scenario would be entirely out of the question, and most of the things that squick Her, squick me also - so not much to tell on that front. Honestly, I don't think she would be willing to even kiss me after said activity lol. But that is us, no judgement intended. As our hard limits are pretty much parallel I don't think there is much She would subject me to that was utterly extreme and completely taboo to me, as She would not have me do something wherein She could longer accept me. Boring? lol not to us. There's plenty of ways to push and pull. We joke about more extreme things at times, but when it comes down to actual play we are not there, at least not yet.

We don't get into "forced" play, and although my soft limits and reluctance or boundaries are often pushed in our mutual interests She does not look for things that disgust or repel me to prove my obedience or submission. I think She thinks of it more as daily submission and obedience, rather than dramatic, random acts. But different strokes, for different folks, truly. Thanks for answering the questions.

lark sparrow,

That is a very interesting, full, and candid response. As you said, your mistress--so far as you know--doesn't look for repellent things that would 'prove' your submission; that seems to be the difference, roughly speaking. Of course, afaik, 'proofs' and 'demonstrations' are not an uncommon demand of dom/mes, for example at clubs (of which I have no direct experience). Do you agree?

The deeper issue, though, isn't just 'proof' but furthering the program of domination; or, from the other side, the process of subjection. The Mistress here--I didn't mention it before--has stated that 'cream pie' scenarios do not have any special appeal for her, which means I think, that it's not special entertainment, as it were. So it looks, from my perspective, like her choice of scene, so to say, is for simple *demonstration* of power, and furthering the establishment of total dominance, rather than inherent erotic appeal. You might say, 'building the perfect sub'. What do you think of that?

 

[lark sparrow]

The scenario you mentioned above would not be allowed at most clubs as sexual intercourse and/or exchange of body fluids is prohibited.

If you mean simple commands, of any nature, given from Domimant to submissive in scene or out of scene, of course. It's one of the ways power is exchanged. My point was that it doesn't really serve either if the task is nearly impossible, unless it is a fantasy shared, not acted upon, or it is setting the submissive and/or power exchange up for failure.

I think whatever you and your Mistress choose to do as consenting adults either in fantasy, role play, or an indepth D/s relationship is entirely yours to decide. Personally, no, I don't believe one needs to do something repulsive or personally freaky to truly submit - not at all. And trying to remove all erotic aspects to concentrate fully on power - what's the point? Aren't you both slaves to power at that point? Where is the life and passion? It's only real if it leads to bigger and better degrading and vile acts? From reading the directions, my impression is that this will probably never happen - if it does I would like to hear about your experiences and what you and your Mistress got out of it though.. and what the next step will be.

To me it is a symbiotic relationship, grounded in mutual respect, trust, need and sexual interests - and in my current relationship, love as well. She is dominant, I am submissive to Her - any show of such is for mutual satisfaction/pleasure/growth. There are certain disciplines she sets for me as Hers, and if they aren't held to then there is punishment. Which is different then play. Punishment stems from disappointment and correcting mistakes/problems.

The concept that one is only doing something submissive if they are doing something they don't enjoy is an odd one to me personally. If my submission is not given freely out of need and/or desire and Mistress' directions were all about my weird fascinations with repulsion I would consider her more of a task mistress - a life support system for my desire to be pushed into things I could not and would not accept. Perhaps this is just one aspect of your relationship with her. And if your kink lies within this structure, and your Mistress likes the power more than anything else, it is of course perfectly acceptable, and purely up to you and your Mistress.

Best with your directions and exploring perfect submission. These are just my beliefs and the structures set in my submission. It's utterly open to interpretation as you well know, and I thank you for sharing it.

 

[lark sparrow]

lAs you said, your mistress--so far as you know--doesn't look for repellent things that would 'prove' your submission;

Also, I do know that She doesn't look for things that are specifically repellent to me because we talk about our desires and our limits - above and beyond fantasy. If it's something distasteful, it's more than likely a punishment. There are things She is interested in that give me some pause, that even scare me, and she is aware of my hard limits for things that repulse me, but never would She force those things on me - She can't, unless She is willing to break numerous laws, my trust and our relationship.

There are activties that I may have more initial interest in and if She too has some interest She may decide to incorporate them into our play - that is a gift of sorts, or at least an open mind. If something were of interest to Her, and for me, perhaps a limit, then we would have to look at our priorities and compromise, work our way to trying it slowly or decide that the interest in the activity/hard limit was more important than the relationship.

There are sometimes very real issues that I find difficult in our relationship, and I struggle with them. If She were doing things to purposely hurt, degrade or lord her power over me drastically, I would not be able to bear it as well. And I would not find pride or fulfillment in submitting to them. If She left me to entirely guess what Her intentions and reasons were in these difficult physical or emotional issues under Her domination, I would be pretty lost. I believe mutual respect and trust still play an important part in devotion, commitment and submission.

One could say that your Mistress is respecting your desire to be pushed into the uncomfortable extremes you crave, and as long as you *obey* and find fulfillment in doing whatever she asks because you are compelled, that is a form of submission. But if she consciously decides to give directions that you are unlikely to be able to carry out for one or many reasons, then what power exchange has actually occured? It seems to be the antithesis.

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

Hi Lark Sparrow,

Again, your thoughts are very intriging. I cant do all of them justice right now, but here are a couple points:

First:I think the degree of what I will call 'cosiness' versus austerity is a dimension of bdsm (and other) relationships. You seem to have a lot of it, and want it. This is linked, also, to egalitarianism (versus hierarchy) which you have. For instance you stress agreements and commonalities around limits. There is the other end of the dimension(s), also.

Second: The purely distasteful would, as you say, be punishment; but I tried to make that issue clear. If it were simply an order to eat the dog's breakfast, I would agree; but the type of scenario was initially suggested by me, as well as its erotic fascination. Now, she added a whole new dimension to it, but I can't exactly say,
"oh, oh, I'm being punished, how awful."

Third: This links with my last point, where you mention a dom/me who would 'lord it over' 'degrade' and who is into the 'power' dimension (more than, or exclusive of, the erotic). This may be more often true, it's my impression in female-mistress/ male-sub relationships, I think. So there is a grain of truth, at least, to it.

But as with the point above, since the erotic area or kink was mentioned by me, it's not *simply* power, imo. (Without trying to defend her). If the dom/me chooses to exercize power in a way or area the *sub* finds erotic, one can scarcely say, it's 'pure power' or simply 'lording it over' that is happening. In short there is a kind of altruism which I believe you referred to in cases where your mistress chooses something of particular positive erotic interest to you, perhaps more than to her.

Hmmm. These points are not so brief, but that's how they came out.

xc

PS. I don't feel free to discuss--that is, respond to your comments about--the reasonableness and/or difficulty of her directive, publically, here, since that would imo be an infringement on her prerogatives and authority. But you are free to make any comments you please, of course. Don't inhibit yourself, but don't wonder that there's no 'uptake.'

 

[lark sparrow]

I understand, and I hope you are not offended as part of your question revolved around the direction themselves. If my Mistress had told me to do that in those terms - those are thoughts/questions/problems I would have with the directions as you explained it - it's a tall order (a monogamous couple who will allow you to dine on their most intimate juices straight from the woman's vagina). But, perhaps that's part of the challenge. I am usually allowed to say "yes, Mistress (pause) but..." lol to clarify her words, make sure I understand all the details and bring up anything I think She might possibly be unaware of from my side of viewing it. Then, it's off the races.

I also agree there could seem to be gray areas between play and punishment, if the activity really stretches the sub's boundaries or it is something that seems strictly an exercise of power, with little obvious use - that is where the mutual trust and respect come in for me, faith that She knows me and has considered me in exercising Her power over me. It would be upsetting if She seemed to enjoy setting me up for failure often, as I want to please Her - unless She feels there is some particular value in failing to punish or get away from ideas of perfection, etc. But, again, we don't really play that way, as she can humble or "hurt" me in those ways we both enjoy at Her whim.

It may very well be different for male subs - obviously I cannot speak to that from personal experience. Without getting into difference between male and female submissives, I would venture to guess that any part-time relationship (as in one where the submissive had a S.O. outside of the Dom/me and a limited relationship) would be different than a full time relationship (wherein the submissive was bound to the Dominant alone, and in a romantic, committed and exclusive relationship with the Dom/me), male or female. Is one better or more pure? It could be argued both ways - I think they are simply different.

On this point, "For instance you stress agreements and commonalities around limits. There is the other end of the dimension(s), also." - of course. You could find someone who held none of the sexual interests you do and had the exact opposite limits you may have. I don't think many people, Dominant or submissive, would enjoy actually living that way around the clock - bound to someone who had no mutual interests - aside from complete subjugation. On a parttime basis, of pushing - I guess, but as a fulltime partner I think that would ultimately be a wretched existence for both. For fantasy, roleplaying, or parttime relationships this may be the perfect program for the perfect subgation.

I think it would be more than one in a million - a person who actually lived on this basis alone and became themselves through this cause. Again, a personal opinion and view point - there are obviously other ways to look at it. It is another gray area to say that one would gravitate towards this (no limits through no commonality) in a quest to be the perfect, subjugated slave. I choose someone who has much commonality so there is more possibility of "no limits" - through the path of parallel limits. I tend to rank the other along the lines of short-term fantasy and roleplaying, but I also realize my view becomes limited by relying on my own personal experience and knowledge heavily. I also realize there are middle grounds between these extremes.

Personally, I find it challenging enough at times (and of course rewarding most other times) to simply be an obedient and loving 'ok' submissive, and I enjoy that she has choosen me, for me, and has no need to subvert my personality, interests, hard limits and strengths, or capitalize on my fears or weaknesses. And I also had more grand ideas on being a slave quickly before sticking it out with Mistress in a LDR for this year and a half - I still love the concept and discussing it, but have realized that for me, it is easier said than done, and would probably take years of living with the Dominant and much progress on my part before I could/would easily assume that title and goal.

Anyhow, I have to run, but this has been an interesting conversation - thank you.

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

Hi lark sparrow, and happy holidays to you:

If I may add a couple things to your kind and well thought out remarks:

I understand, and I hope you are not offended as part of your question revolved around the direction themselves. If my Mistress had told me to do that in those terms - those are thoughts/questions/problems I would have with the directions as you explained it - it's a tall order (a monogamous couple who will allow you to dine on their most intimate juices straight from the woman's vagina). [...]
I also agree there could seem to be gray areas between play and punishment, if the activity really stretches the sub's boundaries or it is something that seems strictly an exercise of power, with little obvious use - that is where the mutual trust and respect come in for me, faith that She knows me and has considered me in exercising Her power over me. It would be upsetting if She seemed to enjoy setting me up for failure often, as I want to please Her - unless She feels there is some particular value in failing to punish or get away from ideas of perfection, etc. But, again, we don't really play that way, as she can humble or "hurt" me in those ways we both enjoy at Her whim.

That's a very caring thing to say. I do see your point, if hypothetically, there was a 'set up for failure'. Hypothetically such a dom/me _might_ simply be trying to lay waste to the sub.
As you point out, it could, however, in fact be done for a number of plausible, non-nasty reasons. One might simply be that the sub's idea of working to his or her _own_ satisfaction should maybe cease to be a primary issue; being able to say "I did this well."


It may very well be different for male subs - obviously I cannot speak to that from personal experience. Without getting into difference between male and female submissives, I would venture to guess that any part-time relationship (as in one where the submissive had a S.O. outside of the Dom/me and a limited relationship) would be different than a full time relationship (wherein the submissive was bound to the Dominant alone, and in a romantic, committed and exclusive relationship with the Dom/me), male or female. Is one better or more pure? It could be argued both ways - I think they are simply different.

Yes, I think that is key. What we have is, in terms of direct contact and practice--leaving aside the mental element-- is parttime. OTOH, based on an occasional 'lurk' in the past, didn't you say your domme was polyamorous? So perhaps there is a tiny bit of commonality in that --excuse me for speculating-- your relationship is not, for her, a 'be all and end all' and her 'goals' in relation to you may be influenced by outside considerations. For example, that you accept her power and decisions to involve herself with whomever she pleases. I hope this is not out of line, for I don't know any details or nuances, I just remember that
'p' word.


On this point, "For instance you stress agreements and commonalities around limits. There is the other end of the dimension(s), also." - of course. You could find someone who held none of the sexual interests you do and had the exact opposite limits you may have. I don't think many people, Dominant or submissive, would enjoy actually living that way around the clock - bound to someone who had no mutual interests - aside from complete subjugation. On a parttime basis, of pushing - I guess, but as a fulltime partner I think that would ultimately be a wretched existence for both. For fantasy, roleplaying, or parttime relationships this may be the perfect program for the perfect subgation.

I'm not sure I meant to contrast common interests vs. none. I was thinking of your words like symbiotic, mutual needs and sexual interests, as conveying a kind of 'cosiness'. In my and her case, the play involves some kinds of common interests, but I don't think I'm meeting emotional needs of hers (as a lover might) or providing sexual fulfillment. My impression--pretty spotty-- is that often a domme to a male sub is _not_ involving her sexual needs, which she is taking elsewhere. In short I was describing a cooler relationship, but not one devoid of any common interests.



I think it would be more than one in a million - a person who actually lived on this basis alone and became themselves through this cause. Again, a personal opinion and view point - there are obviously other ways to look at it. It is another gray area to say that one would gravitate towards this (no limits through no commonality) in a quest to be the perfect, subjugated slave. I choose someone who has much commonality so there is more possibility of "no limits" - through the path of parallel limits. I tend to rank the other along the lines of short-term fantasy and roleplaying, but I also realize my view becomes limited by relying on my own personal experience and knowledge heavily. I also realize there are middle grounds between these extremes.

This gets pretty complicated, but let me ask you this: Suppose you're describing a sub who find mistress whose limits are 'parallel.' Sub doesn't want blood drawn, dom/me doesn't want to try that; sub doesn't want public humiliation, dom/me isn't interested. They both enjoy, however, a whipping scene with a not too stiff leather lashes. Do you see where I'm taking this. Isn't it perhaps more a comfort zone thing? Is there any power dimension when this dom/me says, "Get the whip!" and the sub says "Oh that's my favorite!"


Personally, I find it challenging enough at times (and of course rewarding most other times) to simply be an obedient and loving 'ok' submissive, and I enjoy that she has choosen me, for me, and has no need to subvert my personality, interests, hard limits and strengths, or capitalize on my fears or weaknesses. And I also had more grand ideas on being a slave quickly before sticking it out with Mistress in a LDR for this year and a half - I still love the concept and discussing it, but have realized that for me, it is easier said than done, and would probably take years of living with the Dominant and much progress on my part before I could/would easily assume that title and goal.

Anyhow, I have to run, but this has been an interesting conversation - thank you.

Many complicated issues. The issue of 'subverting' personality, and strengths. The issue of perfect versus 'ok' slave. Without going on and on, here, I accept the idea that perfection eludes people in real life. I can't be 'perfect' anything. At the same time, I think the issue of 'subversion' is important. NOT that the dom/me is trying to produce a quivering wreck, but that _pride_ in certain self chosen traits and strengths is, imo, necessarily to be challenged.

For instance, I think a number of males subs have worldly accomplishment; one is a fine trial lawyer; one performs as a musician, etc. What the Mistress prizes however... mightn't it be quite different? That the trial lawyer can tastefully arrange flowers on the table or cook a bowl of soup the Mistress really enjoys. Do you see what I'm getting at. My view is that the sub has to do the very-challenging-task of ceasing to impose his/her own terms on things, even in the area of 'this is my strength,' 'this is what I'm proud of being (able to do).'

Obviously these are not 'answers' being set up against yours. There isn't one pattern of relationship, of d/s, of lovers, 1-1, or otherwise. We're all looking for 'fit', and as you say, perfection isn't to be had. And I'd add that given conflicting needs and desires, no perfect fit is possible: like wanting a car that provides the driver with a nice view of the countryside AND one that can take a hairpin turn at 150 mph.

Thanks for your concern and your listening.

xc

 

[lark sparrow]

Hello - ok, paragraph at a time.

Not even just laying waste to a submissive, but having little regard or thought to such. If directions are nearly impossible and the sub does not know if they are willing to do them, then it doesn't seem very well planned for a power exchange - perhaps a mental exchange, and that is sometimes exactly what two people are looking for online. But, that seems a perfect program for perfect submission all staying in the realm of perfect fantasy, thought and discussion. When I used to get tasks from people online that I had little personal relationship with, they often asked for extreme and perhaps undo-able tasks - unless it's something one really wants to do any way it will more than likely never happen. It's like... I really want to do this, but I want you to tell me to do this to make it ok... or I want to explore these fantasies in my head with you, and experience the emotion and thoughts of it anonymously while knowing deep down inside that I will never actually do it - nothing wrong with it, but that seems fantasy. Perhaps that has nothing or little to do with your relationship with your Mistress and her directions and program though.

I cannot be as open about Mistress' life as my own, but the poly part of our relationship is limited to one specific person who was with Her before I was. She can of course do whatever She chooses, but the true bottom line is that I also can do or not do whatever I choose - we have an agreement. If She chooses to expand limits or options then we need to renegotiate our relationship. She set the limits, I agreed to those specific limits. It is not an agreement that She does whatever, however, whenever with whoever. I would never leave my heart, mind or life at the door while engaging with any Dominant on a serious and committed level.

I'm not sure what needs a male submissive online could meet of a Domme's if they were not emotional or sexual. I'd like to hear more about your ideas on that subject. There is no service involved such as washing dishes, cleaning the house, making a floral arrangement. If it is about power, it is only power if wishes are carried out, again unless it is the power of pushing buttons and being inside someone's head - a mental game of sorts.

Again, we run into the idea that a power exchange involves one person making another do something one doesn't like. I still don't believe that. Your Mistress brought up cream pies because you like them, have a weird fascination with them - a push/pull. She has no major interest in them, but gave you directives. You are not sure that you are even going to do it. She is getting pleasure in pushing your buttons, you are getting pleasure in getting your buttons pushed. No one has made anyone do anything against their will. If anyone has brought commonality it is your Mistress in pushing you in the ways you wish to be pushed to feel truly subjected. Is that a fair assessment? In pushing your limits to Hers, are you not working towards commonality? Do you not have the commonality that you both want the extremes?

Anytime we get into a deeper relationship with someone we tend to gravitate towards those we feel recognize us for who we are, we also appreciate the things that others see in us that we may not see so clearly, if it is a close relationship built upon mutual trust and respect. If a Mistress gets the whip, and sub says oh wonderful that's my favorite... the whipping is giving the Mistress pleasure, she wants to whip, the whipping is giving the submissive pleasure, they want to be whipped. Loving the whip doesn't mean that no boundaries can be pushed, that it still doesn't carry fear or pain, that the play cannot be unexpected, a struggle or a challenge for both. But again, I agree there is no right or wrong way to do consensual BDSM and negotiated D/s relationships.

 

[scarlet vixen]

For XC

What's with the men?

For all

Why is there such a big difference ?


Just noticed the thread. The precautions. Xtremely Confusd's trepidations.

What with the men, on this topic, anyway? Leaving aside the menses, why is this a big deal and fantasy?


Is this just another form of male reluctance--fortunately disappearing in these decades-- to eat pussy?

 

[lark sparrow]

For LS: I realize you're fishing from the other side of the dock, but hypothetically, were you to have a bisexual mistress, or one who experiments in this, would you feel a big taboo or aversion to being ordered to 'clean up' (after she'd been with a man)?

If I were with a bisexual Mistress and that was Her wish, I assume I would have already agreed and appreciated that her bisexuality would include this task. So, given all those agreements - I guess I would have to say, yes, I would 'clean up'. There's the idea or taboo of cream pies (which does nothing for me personally) and then there is the reality of doing it safely. Knowing your partners are disease-free and sane and your personal safety comes before the fantasy. If I ever belonged to a bisexual Mistress with multiple submissives who enjoyed playing with them together, then under her direction I suppose I would play with men and learn to enjoy it coming from the perspective of pleasing and accepting Her.

As Mistress and I are both lesbian, if She decided She was going to have sex with men and expected me to clean Her up afterwards... ummm we'd have alot of talking to do. If She ordered me to clean up another woman's vagina who had just had sex with a man we'd have a ton of talking to do lol unless of course this just spontaneously presented itself and I was deep in 'sub space' and just did as ordered immediately... then I suppose we would have a bit of talking to do afterwards. If She just told me to go out and do it on my own, I would not do it. I can also say this safely because I know She would never order this. She doesn't share and She doesn't do men.

Re: menses and the taboo - I appreciated your perspective on it lol. Sucking male cum out of a vagina is much more taboo in my book. But I am also not one of those women who see the glory of menses either. I don't have kids and never want to have kids so it's really more of a biological fact that I put up with as I don't want to mess around with my body's natural state and hormones, chemically or through surgery. I don't feel strongly one way or the either, in that pussy should or shouldn't be eaten while the woman is bleeding.

 

[XtremelyConfusd]

I agree with SV's point that the 'taboo'/attraction/repulsion is peculiar to men so far as I know. In the couple of my experiences where a cp scene was proposed- very hesitantly-- to a vanilla girl friend, she had no problem and was ready to proceed.

I can't explain the origin of a kink, but it didn't occur till some exposure to porn and doms in the last five years. I had little concept of it.

It would appear that the interest of many domme's in enforcing or ordering clean-up, esp. of others' cum than the subs, is simply derived from knowing the male 'phobia' and desiring to activate it for any number of purposes, possibly, including simply the 'joy' o f arbitrary exercize of power: "Do it because I say."

 

[sunfalcon]

For all

Why is there such a big difference ?

What with da men, on this topic, anyway? Leaving aside the menses, why is this a big deal and fantasy?

Why is there a difference? A male taboo, and not a female one?

Ya might like it! We're happy to let'ya have a go at it! [/B]

I've read this thread a few times the past week and have been thinking about this. scarlet brings up a couple good points.

Why is there such a big difference? Yes, it's a male taboo. The first time I was asked to eat my own cum, I was quite humiliated and embarassed but it was not a "hard" limit.

What about menstrual? Well, I think this is something that's a combined taboo. It depends. Some women don't want to have any kind of sex when on their period...in varying degrees, I believe women would rather have intercourse than oral sex (for those that have misgivings about sex during their period). Why? I think they'd rather just f*ck than have a man in between her legs not only SEEING them but TASTING them. I think because of this feeling by some women, men connect the dots and because this can be a big taboo with some, it's something to fantasize about and bridge. I can't really say why.

For me, anything that's a "threat"... i.e., "threats" typically (not always) are rarely carried out. But, to me a threat is leveraging power. Being "forced" to eat out a woman is more erotically powerful for me than me volunteering. Mix the taboo of a woman on her period and being forced to eat someone out in the context of BDSM, that's quite powerful. It's never happened. Because I myself have gone across one long ago taboo of eating my own cum, it doesn't seem as difficult that some day I would cross that same bridge with being forced to give oral sex to a Domme.

I think that once you cross those bridges, slowly, the other ones don't seem as intimidating.

What are the taboos? They are mental obstacles typically. When mixed with fantasies, can be powerful. When "acted" out in real life (safely) they can be even more powerful. But, that's the key...safely.

Ted