Subspace

[SephStarr]

I'm new to all this. Very new-in fact, I've only ever done three 'scenes'. Two with a male partner and one-just the night before last, in fact-with a woman. I've had a lot of vanilla sex, and am not inexperienced in bed, but I'm new to BDSM.

So the other night, with this woman. I was bound to the four corners of the bed, naked and blindfolded, and she's been dripping wax on me. I'd never tried wax play before, and in fact didn't know what it was she was going to do till I felt the first few drops hit me.

Suddenly she leans in and kisses me and then, millimetres from my mouth, says “I think you'd like to make yourself proud tonight. I think you'd like to wake up in the morning and think 'gosh, I stood that'. I'm going to do something, now, and I'm going to kiss you while I do. And you're going to love it and hate it at the same time.” There's a pause. An unbearable pause, but she's kissing me, and it's beautiful, but I don't know when it's coming or how much it will hurt. Then more wax. Hot, searing wax, right on my nipple, poured from just inches away.

And it didn't hurt. Previous splashes on less sensitive parts from further away had, and this didn't. I let out a yell but it was one of pleasure, not one of pain. She used a vibrator on me for some time after this and when she cut me free of the bondage tape I was shaking, floating, hardly able to hold the water she gave me or the cigarette she put in my mouth. Barely able to speak.

So this, I assume, is subspace. Can I get into it more often, of my own choosing? I think I'd enjoy scenes even more if I could. Or does it only work if you're 'taken under' by your top?

What does it feel like for you?
As a top, can you tell when your bottom has 'gone under'?

&c. Discuss

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

Ah the euphoric bliss of subspace...

How, when, and if I actually get there varies but the quickest and most proven way to get me rocketing up into that wonderful floating sensation is bondage. Just the feel of her rope can sometimes get my mind to start being a little spacey and my eyes to grow a little cloudy and my reactions to come a little slower. And when I'm well bound I feel myself absolutely letting go, drifting. Sometimes pain can momentarily snatch me away from my journey and sometimes I don't make it fully back onto the path. But more often than not, once I'm drifting, the pain and her words and her touch will soon have be squarely in subspace.

Endorphins flood the body and thresholds rise. This is the point at which, for me anyway, pain becomes pleasure and the two become inseperable. I supposse it is the body's natural repsonse to intense and prolonged pain and am also certain it has more than a little to do with the subject's mind (meaning pain and bondage certainly isn't for everyone). This is the time when I begin to crave the pain, want it, need it, even though it hurts and torments, I still have to have it.

When I'm in that state I can range from a slobbering puddle of submissive goo who can barely grunt a word or two all the way to being very vocal and aggressive in my "demands" for more, begging and pleading and swearing I can take MORE, MORE, MORE!!!! When I get like that is when I am most grateful for beautiful mistress and my trust and faith in her. My mouth does not always tell the real truth. While I may be convinced I can take more of something, my body may well be telling her the real truth and she knowingly and wisely listens to it more than my mouth. A less caring or less disciplined dominant may not and real harm can be the result.

Now, all that said, what it really comes down to for me, is the interaction between the dominant and myself. I'm certain I could not get myself into that same depth of complete surrender on my own and doubt I could go there under the hand of someone I didn't have complete trust in.

But it is even more complex in that a good bit of it for me involves more than just bondage and pain, there is the humiliation factor, the loving tenderness she intertwines in our scenes, the fear, the hope, all of it comes together and I fly.

I can get "pain-rush" without going into subspace. For example getting my tat's and nipple piercing. I get that shaky, almost giggly, I could run a freakin' marathon feel but that isn't the same as full on subspace. To go there, I need more.

Does that make any sense?

 

[Toa_lin]

ON the side of "do I [Dom] know when my pyl goes into sub space?" Hell yeah, then again I send her there on purpose, and there she remains till i'm done Of course, subspace, as far as I know, most can't acheive on there own, part of it is that need to actually be submissing to someone else in one way or another. For my pyl, to get her there changes all the time, but I simply watch for the signs, and go from there. Each eprson gives off there own little reactions showing how deep they are, you just have to learn which ones they are, and how to trigger them to send the pyl flying deeper into subspace.

 

[wenchhh]

Ahhhh, so THAT is what "subspace" is all about. I have been wondering. I am curious, and hope that I can get there. I suspect that I can, and will. Sir was fairly gentle (so he says) with me during our first encounter, and there were a few moments there, when some of the worst of the blows that I got seemed to .... well, definately not hurt anymore, and in fact, felt good, in an exciting, passion filled give me more give me more kinda way. (blush) Yes, I'm learning to put it into words, but I'm a long ways from not being embarrassed about it. Also a few times when it took me a few minutes to recover and for things to seem real again. I've been told that I am a prime candidate for hypnosis/disassociation, so suspect that I'll be able to do this, and look forward to it. Thanks for the topic, and your own experiences.

 

[callinectes]

I have not been to subspace via pain..Daddy is a sadist but he has taken it awfully easy on me (much to my dismay at times, but that is another thread). Anyway, I do go to a place that we think is subspace other ways. I go into an almost dreamlike state, I feel like I am floating and I'm often unable to speak.

Can I get there on my own or alone? I doubt it but then again I really wouldn't want to anyway. I feel closest to him when I am in in that place and am looking deeply into his eyes.