Subs Sanctuary

[Ghost's amaris]

Dom/me's have there places to just go and talk and relax. Now there is a place for the subs to go and relax and have a safe place.

Subs are usually safe in their Dom/me's arms. Now we have this Place to come and feel safe and relax. Have some coffee, tea or other beverages, relax and just feel safe amungst other submissives.

Dom/me's are aloud to come and talk and sort of check to make sure the subs are safe theirs and other's.

I only ask that this be a place where all subs can come and relax and there is no bashing of others.

No TROLLS, please this is a place to relax and talk amungst ourselves about things we would like to discuss. There is no limit it can be questions you have of concern or just talking with friends.

Ghost's amaris

 

[~Dream~]

well this looks like a "nice' place

(pulls up a chair) and relaxes while munching on a glazed donut ,
aww I love the tranquility of how it feels here ,we all need our "safe places' to go to when we cannot exactly "BE' IN out Master/Mistresses loving arms..I had such a great talk with Master last night and would like to take this time to thank You amaris ,for all your loving,caring advice and for taking the time to start this thread..

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Dream,

Sure pull up a chair and join me here.

You are quite welcome. I am glad things went well for you 2 last night.

 

[~Dream~]

Ty so much,I believe I will..

It's really hard on a new submissive who is in an LDR to come to terms with the "ANGER' she feels on arriving back "home" after getting to be with her Dom skin-to skin,I feel thats where alot of my 'defensive' attitude torwards "others' has come from lately also... "so ,How much longer till you get to see Ghost again ,,hun?

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Dream,

That is a good part of the things you have to learn to deal with.

He will be here in about 2 weeks. Thanks for asking.

Ghost's amaris

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Dream,

To be honest with you it is hard on all submissives but yes you are right new submissives seem to have the most trouble with the LDR but they all do have trouble with it.

GHost's amaris

 

[~Dream~]

wow! only 2 weeks!!

Wow ,I bet you are really getting excited!! I know how I felt when I was on the way to see my baby,that 1st time ,mmmmm omg nothing compares to that at ll ... well I am off for a lil nap ,us older women needd those ya know(lol)esp those who have been under alot of "stress' like I HAVE lately ... ttyl sweety..

 

[UCE]

Re: Ty so much,I believe I will..

It's really hard on a new submissive who is in an LDR to come to terms with the "ANGER' she feels on arriving back "home" after getting to be with her Dom skin-to skin...

Could you say more about what you feel the anger about? This is something new to me and I want to learn more about this aspect of "going home."

Thanks,
Unda

Unrelated pic:

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Unda,

The anger is about not being physically there to do the things you did when you were together skin-to-skin to take care of them. You are angry at them because you cant be together all the time and angry at yourself for the same thing as well as being angry with him.

I know from my experience I blamed myself for everything as most submissives do but then they try to blame there Dom/me's for it so they dont feel as bad.

This is reallly just something you need to watch out for in andy LDR. When you go home you dont have them there to comfort you ad you did when physically together.

Ghost's amaris

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Ty so much,I believe I will..

Unrelated pic:

I just looked at that pic... is that steam rising up out of her mouth as the piss is going in??

I think my mind just got blown... lol

PBW

 

[Ghost's amaris]

PB

I never even looked at the pic but i rarely do, but since you brought it up I looked. It was a little mind blowing.

Unda,

There is no set topid here it is a place for submissives to talk and discuss things freely.

Ghsot's amaris

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Come Join Us

Just my way to give this thread a little bump up.

Come Join us pull up a chair and relax. We are open to discuss what ever you could really use to discuss.

Submissives need time to relacx, take a load off and feel safe just as much as the Dom/me's

Ghost's amaris

 

[Parklife]

Just popping my head in to say hi... seeing as this will be a place I can be.... well.. just be.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Hiya folks.....fellow sub here. Been away for a while just got back. This looks like a nice place to hang out.

~smile~
dixi

 

[Ghost's amaris]

dixicriter,

Welcome to Subs Sanctuary.

Welcome back to the forum as well. It is really nice to meet you.


Ghost's amaris

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Thanks amaris, and please call me dixi.

~smile~
dixi

 

[MissTaken]

HI dixi!

*warm hugs*

I am glad to see you here


As for the LDR issue:

I have always struggled with LDR"s of any nature. Once meeting face to face, all those little things that managed to carry me through the lonely nights no longer worked. I never felt anger, but my disappointment and longing interfered with the relationship's growth.

It is very important to remain focussed and ponder the positive things.

It is also very important to remember the trust you had for your Dom prior to meeting him and keep that trust in place. It can be difficult when you are constantly wanting to be with him and can't. Then wondering what he is up to.

Then, IMHO, in my current relationship, it is not as long distance as many that I have had or that are here on the boards, but I feel very positive about it and am managing well. Perhaps, because

a) I had stopped looking for Mr Right a while back.

b) it is meant to be and we are both committed to making it work.

c) Our communication is more open than in any other relationship I have had.

Best wishes to all,

Miss T

 

[Ghost's amaris]

As for the LDR issue:

I have always struggled with LDR"s of any nature. Once meeting face to face, all those little things that managed to carry me through the lonely nights no longer worked. I never felt anger, but my disappointment and longing interfered with the relationship's growth.

It is very important to remain focussed and ponder the positive things.

It is also very important to remember the trust you had for your Dom prior to meeting him and keep that trust in place. It can be difficult when you are constantly wanting to be with him and can't. Then wondering what he is up to.

Then, IMHO, in my current relationship, it is not as long distance as many that I have had or that are here on the boards, but I feel very positive about it and am managing well. Perhaps, because

a) I had stopped looking for Mr Right a while back.

b) it is meant to be and we are both committed to making it work.

c) Our communication is more open than in any other relationship I have had.

Best wishes to all,

Miss T

Miss T,

Those are some wonderful point that you made. I can say that I did get very angry the first time I parted from Ghost but since I had some inclination of what to expect I could handle it a little better than some other submissives that go into it without the knowledge of the feelings that are going to be there and how alone you can even feel sometimes.

Ghost's amaris

 

[Daddyslilpet]

HI dixi!

*warm hugs*

I am glad to see you here

<snip>
Best wishes to all,

Miss T

Hey Miss T! Glad to be back....~smile~

{{{hugs}}}

dixi

 

[Ghost's amaris]

This is Great

I am so glad that everyone seems to feel safe and comfortable here.

This is what i was striving for a place where people can come and talk and enjoy themselves. While they feel safe and relaxed.

Ghost's amaris

 

[redelicious]

Hello all-

Been awhile since I have posted in this neck of the woods but this does look like a nice place.

Dream I am glad things are working out....

May I pose a question here?

I was actually considering starting my own thread with this, but I think it would fit in here. I am not exactly a perfectionist but I am driven to do things well and succeed at the things I try, possibly out of a fear of failure. A few weeks ago my Dom asked me to do something and I just physically could not do it the way I wanted to. He of course was very understanding and comforting about it, but it pained me to think I had failed him (even though he assured me I had not).

I think that fear of letting our Dom/mes down is something we must all have in common. I am just wondering....is it, this need to succeed (and therefore please the people around us), an essential part of what makes us submissive? How do you deal with feelings of failure? How do you keep from setting yourselves up?

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Hello all-

Been awhile since I have posted in this neck of the woods but this does look like a nice place.

Dream I am glad things are working out....

May I pose a question here?

I was actually considering starting my own thread with this, but I think it would fit in here. I am not exactly a perfectionist but I am driven to do things well and succeed at the things I try, possibly out of a fear of failure. A few weeks ago my Dom asked me to do something and I just physically could not do it the way I wanted to. He of course was very understanding and comforting about it, but it pained me to think I had failed him (even though he assured me I had not).

I think that fear of letting our Dom/mes down is something we must all have in common. I am just wondering....is it, this need to succeed (and therefore please the people around us), an essential part of what makes us submissive? How do you deal with feelings of failure? How do you keep from setting yourselves up?

Well it is nice to have you join us here at Subs Sanctuary.

This is a great place to pose this type of question.

I for one think it is a part of just about all submissives to not want to fail there Dom/me's. I know when i fail my Dom I get very hard on myself and feel as if I dont deserve any pleasure at that point.

What my Dom usually ends up saying is you dont deserve please as you say but am I not the one that you have supposedly failed, and shouldnt I then determin what you deserve and dont deserve?

I then must admit yes to both questions. I am always harder on myself than he could ever be. I tend to just keep beating myself up over every little thing till he finally has enough of it and gets me to realize that it is over and now to move on.

We then talk about what happened and if it is something that can be done after some different things have been worked on then we do what we have to or we deside that is just not for us and is just not us at all. Then we just drop it.

I tend to find alot of things come down to communication. Weather it be verbal, physical, emotional, or something like my Dom and I have where nothing is said or done we just know.

Ghost's amaris

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Just my way of giving bump up on this thread.

Well I am glad to see all the friendly faces around.

Please come out and post dont be shy we dont bit. We just enjoy sitting relaxing talking, learning, and just having a good time.

Ghost's amaris

 

[Desdemona]

I baked some toll house cookies. Want one? They're warm from the oven......

Howdy ya'll. I see some very familiar faces here!

Dream, for what its worth, my experience with a LDR was that things became incredibly more difficult after meeting in real life. Every little emotion, every conflict, every desire seems to be intensified because you can't be with him or help him or look into his eyes or be held or whatever it is that you want or need at the time. He never understood how hard it was for me, he had some RL issues that interfered and unfortunately, that relationship didn't last.

Red, disappointing my Dom is just about the worst thing I can think of. It isn't about being a perfectionist for me, I just need to make him happy and when I don't..... it is truly awful. I think it is just a part of who must subs are to feel that way.

We all struggle with similar issues, I think. Online or on paper, these relationships seem so wonderful and it is tempting to focus on the eroticism. It really is harder than many new subs realise to submit. None of us are perfect. We all fail.... and our submission is imperfect. I failed yesterday and fortunately, Sackman yanked a knot in my butt. He pulled me back in line. I can't tell you how grateful I am for that loving, firm correction. He cared enough to help me face some fears. I didn't totally like it initially and I shed a few tears, but he was so very right. He knew what I needed when I couldn't see it. He guided me across our first hurdle as a couple. I am a very lucky woman.

Ghost's Amaris, thank you so much for starting this thread. Can I just call you Amaris?
des

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Sure

Des,

Sure you can just call me amaris.

Actually i will say this I prefer to just be called amaris.

Amaris is my name Ghost is just part of my Master's name it wouldnt let me put his full name with mine so it was shortened to what most people call him.

Ghost's amaris