jadefirefly
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I love you, Rebecca. 
Submissive 'Thought For The Day' Calendar 2006
- Thread starter catalina_francisco
- Start date
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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February 2nd - words of Quint
"I had no idea so many people thought of a period as nasty, taboo, etc. It's always just been a messier week but it's never so much as crossed my mind that it would keep me from being sexually active. In fact, it's the only time that T will come inside me without a condom (I'm also on the pill) so we actually really look forward to that week. I'm hornier and crave dirtier sex, I'm already lubricated (and we've never noticed any sort of irritation on his cock), and he doesn't have to worry about pulling out at the end. It's the best, and not even in a "teehee I'm being naughty" way."
question...for girl's only
"I had no idea so many people thought of a period as nasty, taboo, etc. It's always just been a messier week but it's never so much as crossed my mind that it would keep me from being sexually active. In fact, it's the only time that T will come inside me without a condom (I'm also on the pill) so we actually really look forward to that week. I'm hornier and crave dirtier sex, I'm already lubricated (and we've never noticed any sort of irritation on his cock), and he doesn't have to worry about pulling out at the end. It's the best, and not even in a "teehee I'm being naughty" way."
question...for girl's only
catalina_francisco
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February 3rd - words of BeachGurl2
"Very interesting thread. I have encountered women who seem to believe that all their troubles will end when they find a Dom to take care of them. There's always that rude awakening when life doesn't work out as fairy tale perfectly as that, isn't there? But there are also the men who think that being a Dom ends all their troubles, as well. They think, I'll just get me a sub/slave to do my bidding - life will be perfect.
And that's different from the vanilla world how? It's really not. There are vanilla men who want women at home to do their bidding, just like there are vanilla women who want to find their knight in shining armour to rescue them from real life.
So what's my point? Get educated and ask really good questions. The only way to truly know if this life is what you truly need is to educate yourself, and then learn how to ask the right questions of prospective mates. (And of course, ultimately to physically experience it, because, let's face it, you can only spank yourself so hard, right? )"
You don't need a Dom, You need a vacation!
"Very interesting thread. I have encountered women who seem to believe that all their troubles will end when they find a Dom to take care of them. There's always that rude awakening when life doesn't work out as fairy tale perfectly as that, isn't there? But there are also the men who think that being a Dom ends all their troubles, as well. They think, I'll just get me a sub/slave to do my bidding - life will be perfect.
And that's different from the vanilla world how? It's really not. There are vanilla men who want women at home to do their bidding, just like there are vanilla women who want to find their knight in shining armour to rescue them from real life.
So what's my point? Get educated and ask really good questions. The only way to truly know if this life is what you truly need is to educate yourself, and then learn how to ask the right questions of prospective mates. (And of course, ultimately to physically experience it, because, let's face it, you can only spank yourself so hard, right? )"
You don't need a Dom, You need a vacation!
catalina_francisco
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February 4th - words of LoneOne
"Until now I was not in a situation where this came up but I think the german equivilants are even more harsch and I could not say Meister/Herrin to anyone without smiling. I just do not like the german terms... ok, I have to admit Herrin (it is the same as mistress in german) has it's charme too but it sounds a little bit to hard in my ears.
I'm used to call some people "mistress" or "ma'am" (out of an BDSM context) and I always have the feeling I sound like some knight in shining armor doing this (and at least once I was told this really sounds like I was some loyal knight, retainer or something like this by a female friend of mine)
So I think that if I should ever meet someone who would appreciate something like this I would be happy to call her "mistress" or "ma'am". I often mix english with german so this is easy, even as I would use "ma'am" more often because it is hard to insert mistress in a german sentence."
Master!
"Until now I was not in a situation where this came up but I think the german equivilants are even more harsch and I could not say Meister/Herrin to anyone without smiling. I just do not like the german terms... ok, I have to admit Herrin (it is the same as mistress in german) has it's charme too but it sounds a little bit to hard in my ears.
I'm used to call some people "mistress" or "ma'am" (out of an BDSM context) and I always have the feeling I sound like some knight in shining armor doing this (and at least once I was told this really sounds like I was some loyal knight, retainer or something like this by a female friend of mine)
So I think that if I should ever meet someone who would appreciate something like this I would be happy to call her "mistress" or "ma'am". I often mix english with german so this is easy, even as I would use "ma'am" more often because it is hard to insert mistress in a german sentence."
Master!
catalina_francisco
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February 5th - words of sincerely_helene
"Whoa?! I certainly don't mean to imply I feel that being dominant or submissive cannot possibly go hand in hand with being sadistic or masochistic. I should have made that clearer, maybe, but I don't recall ever stating anything that could be taken as such because there would be too much evidence against that arguement, quite frankly.
I'm only trying to open peoples minds to the idea that one's dominant/ submissive persona does not necessarily reflect whether or they are into either of those things. Too often the lack of seperation leads to assumptions which really bother me. I'm very sick of men assuming because I tend towards a more submissive nature that means I crave to be flogged or engage in anal penetration.
Not to say I wouldn't do it, but it wouldn't be for the reason that "I enjoy pain." Does that clear things up?"
Do Sadists Generally Preffer Submissives to Masochists?
"Whoa?! I certainly don't mean to imply I feel that being dominant or submissive cannot possibly go hand in hand with being sadistic or masochistic. I should have made that clearer, maybe, but I don't recall ever stating anything that could be taken as such because there would be too much evidence against that arguement, quite frankly.
I'm only trying to open peoples minds to the idea that one's dominant/ submissive persona does not necessarily reflect whether or they are into either of those things. Too often the lack of seperation leads to assumptions which really bother me. I'm very sick of men assuming because I tend towards a more submissive nature that means I crave to be flogged or engage in anal penetration.
Not to say I wouldn't do it, but it wouldn't be for the reason that "I enjoy pain." Does that clear things up?"
Do Sadists Generally Preffer Submissives to Masochists?
catalina_francisco
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February 6th - words of shy slave
"That took a minute for me to understand that, and I am the property
But no matter how well watered I am, or what he does, including pony play, making me jump plants or standing me in a bucket on manure; I am never going to get any taller LOL.
As for pony play, well I have a tail around here somewhere......"
Regarding Pony Play
"That took a minute for me to understand that, and I am the property
But no matter how well watered I am, or what he does, including pony play, making me jump plants or standing me in a bucket on manure; I am never going to get any taller LOL.
As for pony play, well I have a tail around here somewhere......"
Regarding Pony Play
catalina_francisco
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February 7th - words of fieryjen
"I really enjoyed reading this topic, not being masochistically inclined myself. Then again, I am very, very inexperienced and haven't yet met a dom who would try to get me to like it more. I've never felt like less of a sub though, just because my tolerance for pain is low."
Submissive but not Masochistic?
"I really enjoyed reading this topic, not being masochistically inclined myself. Then again, I am very, very inexperienced and haven't yet met a dom who would try to get me to like it more. I've never felt like less of a sub though, just because my tolerance for pain is low."
Submissive but not Masochistic?
catalina_francisco
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February 8th - words of AnelizeDarkEyes
"Well, I just quit after many years of smoking.
I ended up in the hospital with an asthma attack and pneumonia.
There was something about sitting on that bed, on oxygen, getting one nebulizer treatment after another, wheezing to beat the band, and not being able to get a complete breath that made me realize that....
this is what I had in store for me if I kept on smoking.
I'm a nurse, I know this. I sat there, struggling to breathe, and kept thinking, oh god, I'm gonna be just like this when I get emphysema.
I haven't had a smoke since about 4 days prior to my admission (I felt too sick to smoke)
It's been, oh, about 3 weeks now.
Call me scared straight."
Hints to stop smoking please
"Well, I just quit after many years of smoking.
I ended up in the hospital with an asthma attack and pneumonia.
There was something about sitting on that bed, on oxygen, getting one nebulizer treatment after another, wheezing to beat the band, and not being able to get a complete breath that made me realize that....
this is what I had in store for me if I kept on smoking.
I'm a nurse, I know this. I sat there, struggling to breathe, and kept thinking, oh god, I'm gonna be just like this when I get emphysema.
I haven't had a smoke since about 4 days prior to my admission (I felt too sick to smoke)
It's been, oh, about 3 weeks now.
Call me scared straight."
Hints to stop smoking please
catalina_francisco
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February 9th - words of Bandit58
"Most people seem to think that the subs are the ones with limits, but Doms have them too. For instance, Master won't indulge in face slapping, whipping to the point of blood, knives, scat, needles, or watersports. Which is lucky, because they're my limits too
We are not interested in breath play/choking, though face fucking is ok. If I feel too oxygen-deprived, I tap Him smartly 3 times on the leg or butt and He will pull back so I can breathe. I used to panic a bit but now I know that if I use that signal He will stop immediately.
Before we began our relationship He made sure I knew the safewords and when to use them. Even after two years together the words are still in place, but have only been used a handful of times. Because I was so new to BDSM, and to a lot of sex play even, I had no idea how I would react to anything. I admit I have gotten scared, not of Him but of myself and my own reactions and have stopped play sometimes when my body and brain got too overwhelmed with sensations!"
The Limits We Thought We Had...Forever?!!
"Most people seem to think that the subs are the ones with limits, but Doms have them too. For instance, Master won't indulge in face slapping, whipping to the point of blood, knives, scat, needles, or watersports. Which is lucky, because they're my limits too
We are not interested in breath play/choking, though face fucking is ok. If I feel too oxygen-deprived, I tap Him smartly 3 times on the leg or butt and He will pull back so I can breathe. I used to panic a bit but now I know that if I use that signal He will stop immediately.
Before we began our relationship He made sure I knew the safewords and when to use them. Even after two years together the words are still in place, but have only been used a handful of times. Because I was so new to BDSM, and to a lot of sex play even, I had no idea how I would react to anything. I admit I have gotten scared, not of Him but of myself and my own reactions and have stopped play sometimes when my body and brain got too overwhelmed with sensations!"
The Limits We Thought We Had...Forever?!!
catalina_francisco
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February 10th - words of eroticspank
"Cool! and funny too! I can just imagine her explaining the reason for the strained muscle.
The only one I can think of is this:
I am laying on the bed naked and my GF is standing next to the bed with her strapon on. She has just put a condom on it and is slowly stroking it with her hand like she is jacking off. I am getting really turned on just watching her like this and it looks like she is too! But as she strokes it harder it completely comes off the harness with just the dildo in her hand!! I know it is just a dildo but for a split second it looked like she pulled off her dick!! It surprised her too! It was funny but we laughed much more after then we did at the moment."
Strap-on experiences
"Cool! and funny too! I can just imagine her explaining the reason for the strained muscle.
The only one I can think of is this:
I am laying on the bed naked and my GF is standing next to the bed with her strapon on. She has just put a condom on it and is slowly stroking it with her hand like she is jacking off. I am getting really turned on just watching her like this and it looks like she is too! But as she strokes it harder it completely comes off the harness with just the dildo in her hand!! I know it is just a dildo but for a split second it looked like she pulled off her dick!! It surprised her too! It was funny but we laughed much more after then we did at the moment."
Strap-on experiences
graceanne
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February 11th - words of shyslave
I have never considered that the position he is in makes him more or less 'Domly.'
I never forget he owns me, oral increases that reminder; the position is secondary to that.
When giving him oral my three main interests are focused on:
The pleasure it gives him
How I can increase that pleasure
How deep can he get in my mouth/throat from the position he is in.
There is a psychological pay back for me in giving him oral, I guess some of that could stem from the position; but it also varies depending on what has preceded the oral or what I imagine may happen next.
I love some of the b/w photos of pyl's kneeling in front of a PYL that are in AA's thread.
That position is wonderful if he wants to slap me with his cock or give me a facial.
Its less effective if he wants to go deeper into my mouth, or if he wants oral for a long period of time, say 1-2 hours, as I cannot maintain that position that long.
Personally my fantasies are fed from thoughts of him sitting in a chair and my kneeling directly in front of him.
From this position I can lick and stroke his cock and balls, I can also be lower than his cock which engages the submissive part of my mind in a very powerful way.
Not all oral is intense, with a pre-ordained outcome. Sometimes it is about emotional exchange.
Laying in bed together in the morning, my face resting on his thigh or stomach, licking and stroking him is very emotional for me. It feels very safe and makes me feel cared for and loved. Something so very simple can move me to tears.
Yet if viewed dispassionately, a slave laying on her Dom when she is half asleep, lazily licking and stroking without her main intention being that of bringing him to orgasm; does not appear 'slave-like' or 'Domly.'
Yet it is. It feeds my psychological need and desire to be his slave and it starts the day in quiet stillness being reminded that he owns me.
He does not need to tower over me, grab my hair and pull me into his crotch to prove he owns me. He can tell me quietly and I will comply.
He towers over me, due to our height difference, every time I stand near him.
It does not make me feel dominated, it makes me feel very safe. As though his height alone can protect me from the worlds ills.
The Original Oral Thread
I have never considered that the position he is in makes him more or less 'Domly.'
I never forget he owns me, oral increases that reminder; the position is secondary to that.
When giving him oral my three main interests are focused on:
The pleasure it gives him
How I can increase that pleasure
How deep can he get in my mouth/throat from the position he is in.
There is a psychological pay back for me in giving him oral, I guess some of that could stem from the position; but it also varies depending on what has preceded the oral or what I imagine may happen next.
I love some of the b/w photos of pyl's kneeling in front of a PYL that are in AA's thread.
That position is wonderful if he wants to slap me with his cock or give me a facial.
Its less effective if he wants to go deeper into my mouth, or if he wants oral for a long period of time, say 1-2 hours, as I cannot maintain that position that long.
Personally my fantasies are fed from thoughts of him sitting in a chair and my kneeling directly in front of him.
From this position I can lick and stroke his cock and balls, I can also be lower than his cock which engages the submissive part of my mind in a very powerful way.
Not all oral is intense, with a pre-ordained outcome. Sometimes it is about emotional exchange.
Laying in bed together in the morning, my face resting on his thigh or stomach, licking and stroking him is very emotional for me. It feels very safe and makes me feel cared for and loved. Something so very simple can move me to tears.
Yet if viewed dispassionately, a slave laying on her Dom when she is half asleep, lazily licking and stroking without her main intention being that of bringing him to orgasm; does not appear 'slave-like' or 'Domly.'
Yet it is. It feeds my psychological need and desire to be his slave and it starts the day in quiet stillness being reminded that he owns me.
He does not need to tower over me, grab my hair and pull me into his crotch to prove he owns me. He can tell me quietly and I will comply.
He towers over me, due to our height difference, every time I stand near him.
It does not make me feel dominated, it makes me feel very safe. As though his height alone can protect me from the worlds ills.
The Original Oral Thread
graceanne
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February 12th - words of FurryFury
Okay, I believe, from my own experiences, that most men have a "knight in shinnying armor" inside them. Some have tried to play this role and learned that the "damsel in distress" will often simply keep remaking her "comfort zone," and in fact can't be rescued at all. She will just use the knight until he is broken and all worn out. (This can and does happen with the sexes reversed.)
Now, personally, I need and want no rescue. I'm much more likely to do the rescuing but only if they really want their lives to change and will let me gently guide them whilst thinking it's all their idea. (This is subtle and delicate manipulation when done right folks.)
However I have NO doubt I would quite enjoy a sensual sadist, and a Daddy Dom. I find these arch types delicious but any Dom who is experienced, respectful, secure and caring would be on my short list of yum.
The Doms that don't have "it" reveal themselves pretty fucking fast. They go on another of my lists, at the bottom.
Fury
Sensual Sadists, Daddy Doms, and... Knights in Domly Armor?
Okay, I believe, from my own experiences, that most men have a "knight in shinnying armor" inside them. Some have tried to play this role and learned that the "damsel in distress" will often simply keep remaking her "comfort zone," and in fact can't be rescued at all. She will just use the knight until he is broken and all worn out. (This can and does happen with the sexes reversed.)
Now, personally, I need and want no rescue. I'm much more likely to do the rescuing but only if they really want their lives to change and will let me gently guide them whilst thinking it's all their idea. (This is subtle and delicate manipulation when done right folks.)
However I have NO doubt I would quite enjoy a sensual sadist, and a Daddy Dom. I find these arch types delicious but any Dom who is experienced, respectful, secure and caring would be on my short list of yum.
The Doms that don't have "it" reveal themselves pretty fucking fast. They go on another of my lists, at the bottom.
Fury
Sensual Sadists, Daddy Doms, and... Knights in Domly Armor?
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graceanne
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February 13th - words of FurryFury
I've heard that about not going to sleep angry a lot. Fine if it works for others but to me it's not realistic, at least not for my relationship. It does not work for me or my husband. Sometimes he is on what I call "over drive," brought on by lack of sleep and sometimes alcohol. If you've ever seen a small child who didn't get their nap that day or is off schedule and had too much caffeine or sugar, that is what I'm talking about. Only he gets belligerent and goes off about, well it could be anything. There is no way to talk with him, soothe him or work anything out with him. He simply needs to go to sleep. The sooner the better. If he keeps talking it gets really nuts. He says things he doesn't even remember the next day.
On the other hand, when he is in his right mind, he gets his anger out pretty quickly and is done.
Not me. My anger is a longer lasting thing. It's hard to get me mad. It's hard for me to cool down. Usually reading a book for a while helps.
One of the most important gifts you can give each other sometimes it that space to allow the anger and hurt to dissipate so when you do talk it isn't from a place of rage and it isn't lashing out.
Since we do that, we rarely fight. We don't say things that we wish we could take back. My first relationship was full of that crap. In this one, we wait, we cool and we respect one another.
Our "family meeting" ritual is that we have a long staff or walking stick with a skull at the top of it. Only the person that has it can talk. Everyone one has a chance to be heard. No one is supposed to judge the other person. All feeling are valid. During the rough spot we went through with our daughter this ritual was essential in helping her feel she had a voice. I have used it whenever anyone in the house feels a need. It really does help.
Fury
Communication Rituals
I've heard that about not going to sleep angry a lot. Fine if it works for others but to me it's not realistic, at least not for my relationship. It does not work for me or my husband. Sometimes he is on what I call "over drive," brought on by lack of sleep and sometimes alcohol. If you've ever seen a small child who didn't get their nap that day or is off schedule and had too much caffeine or sugar, that is what I'm talking about. Only he gets belligerent and goes off about, well it could be anything. There is no way to talk with him, soothe him or work anything out with him. He simply needs to go to sleep. The sooner the better. If he keeps talking it gets really nuts. He says things he doesn't even remember the next day.
On the other hand, when he is in his right mind, he gets his anger out pretty quickly and is done.
Not me. My anger is a longer lasting thing. It's hard to get me mad. It's hard for me to cool down. Usually reading a book for a while helps.
One of the most important gifts you can give each other sometimes it that space to allow the anger and hurt to dissipate so when you do talk it isn't from a place of rage and it isn't lashing out.
Since we do that, we rarely fight. We don't say things that we wish we could take back. My first relationship was full of that crap. In this one, we wait, we cool and we respect one another.
Our "family meeting" ritual is that we have a long staff or walking stick with a skull at the top of it. Only the person that has it can talk. Everyone one has a chance to be heard. No one is supposed to judge the other person. All feeling are valid. During the rough spot we went through with our daughter this ritual was essential in helping her feel she had a voice. I have used it whenever anyone in the house feels a need. It really does help.
Fury
Communication Rituals
catalina_francisco
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FurryFury said:*hugs and hugs beautiful Graceanne*
Thank you Graceanne. I was just thinking about how I might not be submissive enough in thought or words to ever make this calendar.
*does happy dance and beams*
Fury
LOL, chill, we have a whole year ahead of us yet!!
Catalina
FurryFury
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catalina_francisco said:LOL, chill, we have a whole year ahead of us yet!!
Catalina
One often questions oneself, though, you know? It's through that questioning that I sometimes learn important things which would likely otherwise go unnoticed.
Fury
graceanne
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FurryFury said:One often questions oneself, though, you know? It's through that questioning that I sometimes learn important things which would likely otherwise go unnoticed.
Fury
LOL If you hadn't already put that here on this thread I'd have quoted it for February 14th.
catalina_francisco
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February 14th - words of Still Falling
"i’m almost in the reverse situation to you. Until becoming involved with M’lady i had completely repressed my fantasies and had no understanding of my Masochism or my submissive nature. M’lady who would also describe Herself as a Bisexual switch, spent a number of months exploring all these parts of me as well part of me that thrives on topping.
After nine or so months it became obvious that i was Her slave already, and once we recognized this formalized this, which was a new step for both of us as She has never had a slave. But M’lady does not want to train my top out of me, as being a switch She enjoys bottoming. In fact it was a very important point for Her in accepting me as Her slave that i recognized that i could be submissive and still have the urge to top.
Rather than trying to eliminate this part of play perhaps you and your Domme could integrate this more. M’lady has focused on training me to restrain myself until She wishes me to ‘unleash’. This has included making me beg for it. She not only benefits from being able to maximise the pleasure She gets from switching, but She can also derive sadistic pleasure from tormenting that side of me without giving me permission to act. She simply sees it as another way She has control over my body and my desire – by driving me to the point where i am fighting to remain in control of myself gives Her a power kick.
This may not suit you both – but is certainly a lateral approach to the situation."
Male Sub Thread
"i’m almost in the reverse situation to you. Until becoming involved with M’lady i had completely repressed my fantasies and had no understanding of my Masochism or my submissive nature. M’lady who would also describe Herself as a Bisexual switch, spent a number of months exploring all these parts of me as well part of me that thrives on topping.
After nine or so months it became obvious that i was Her slave already, and once we recognized this formalized this, which was a new step for both of us as She has never had a slave. But M’lady does not want to train my top out of me, as being a switch She enjoys bottoming. In fact it was a very important point for Her in accepting me as Her slave that i recognized that i could be submissive and still have the urge to top.
Rather than trying to eliminate this part of play perhaps you and your Domme could integrate this more. M’lady has focused on training me to restrain myself until She wishes me to ‘unleash’. This has included making me beg for it. She not only benefits from being able to maximise the pleasure She gets from switching, but She can also derive sadistic pleasure from tormenting that side of me without giving me permission to act. She simply sees it as another way She has control over my body and my desire – by driving me to the point where i am fighting to remain in control of myself gives Her a power kick.
This may not suit you both – but is certainly a lateral approach to the situation."
Male Sub Thread
catalina_francisco
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February 15th - words of Cati
"Chuckling, I hope you don't think that I endorse this article...sheesh. We didn't have kids 25 years ago. But I was the one who stayed up to greet him and make him something special (occasionally) when he worked the afternoon shift. Sometimes he wouldn't come home until late, having worked over time. Whatever it was I had made was already cold or ruined and I went to bed tired of waiting for him. A man should always call if he's going to be late. If he doesn't come home at all, forget it...trouble on the homefront.
I'm not much of a housekeeper then or now. When the boys were toddlers, I would straighten the house, pick up their toys before the hubby got home, so that things were half assed presentable. I would start dinner while he relaxed and "played" with the kids.
Take off his shoes and rub his feet...you're kidding right? I got miffed when he asked me to shine his shoes.
In the early years of our marriage, I might have put on fresh makeup, maybe a dab of cologne.
That was my first marriage. I spose I'm still trying to get it right this second time around.... laffs.
#12. Ok so lets get a little mellow with a little mood music... perform a little yoga to relax. Get into the lotus position (cause that's the only one I know).
Draw a tranquil "Calgon" bath and hope that it takes him away."
"A Good Wifes Guide"
"Chuckling, I hope you don't think that I endorse this article...sheesh. We didn't have kids 25 years ago. But I was the one who stayed up to greet him and make him something special (occasionally) when he worked the afternoon shift. Sometimes he wouldn't come home until late, having worked over time. Whatever it was I had made was already cold or ruined and I went to bed tired of waiting for him. A man should always call if he's going to be late. If he doesn't come home at all, forget it...trouble on the homefront.
I'm not much of a housekeeper then or now. When the boys were toddlers, I would straighten the house, pick up their toys before the hubby got home, so that things were half assed presentable. I would start dinner while he relaxed and "played" with the kids.
Take off his shoes and rub his feet...you're kidding right? I got miffed when he asked me to shine his shoes.
In the early years of our marriage, I might have put on fresh makeup, maybe a dab of cologne.
That was my first marriage. I spose I'm still trying to get it right this second time around.... laffs.
#12. Ok so lets get a little mellow with a little mood music... perform a little yoga to relax. Get into the lotus position (cause that's the only one I know).
Draw a tranquil "Calgon" bath and hope that it takes him away."
"A Good Wifes Guide"
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
February 16th - words of pandoravampire
"from my own experience, i wanted to sub. But never got that vibe toward a dom/me. None inspired me to want to submit to them. Hence my topping phase. Which i was crap at. The one area that really interests me, is the sado part. And i discovered i dont have the necessary control for that.
But in my search and getting to know a few Dom/mes. When it came to play, turned out............they were pretty submissive. Or rather their control was not as strong as mine. So i ended up on top again. zzzzzzzzz So i stopped looking.
i wouldnt identify as a switch, coz im not versatile and only serial monogamy for me, not a popular stance, but mine anyhow. If i got Dom chemistry from a person, id lap it up. Just didnt.
Till now. Now im in a D/s 24/7 monogamous relationship and loving it
But when the sap rises, gee it caused problems in the beginning. It took time to find a compromise that works for us. It is something that we are aware of and can prepare for. But that still doesnt stop some of the fireworks!
But my need to dominate, is less than my need to submit to Him. I keep that in mind.
in the early days, i was cognitively sabotaging our relationship, with thought like, id not of done that, or, he's made a mistake there. Once made the huge mistake of wielding the whip myself. Ouch, never again!
Being any identification in this lifestyle is difficult within a relationship. Being what might be termed a switch, is more so i think. Duality in a submissive is something that i struggle with from time to time.
As our relationship developed, so did our coping mechanisms.
One of mine, is to deliberately not fuel my dominant side, by exposing myself to it. I dont watch fem domme porn, i dont read fem domme threads. And i avoid male submissives. I dont communicate with them. And i went on the pill to prevent pmt which lowers my acceptance of dominance over me.
some may believe that this is a denial of my full self. But on a needs fullfillment list, im doing great. I know what side my bread is buttered. And its subwise."
role reversal
"from my own experience, i wanted to sub. But never got that vibe toward a dom/me. None inspired me to want to submit to them. Hence my topping phase. Which i was crap at. The one area that really interests me, is the sado part. And i discovered i dont have the necessary control for that.
But in my search and getting to know a few Dom/mes. When it came to play, turned out............they were pretty submissive. Or rather their control was not as strong as mine. So i ended up on top again. zzzzzzzzz So i stopped looking.
i wouldnt identify as a switch, coz im not versatile and only serial monogamy for me, not a popular stance, but mine anyhow. If i got Dom chemistry from a person, id lap it up. Just didnt.
Till now. Now im in a D/s 24/7 monogamous relationship and loving it
But when the sap rises, gee it caused problems in the beginning. It took time to find a compromise that works for us. It is something that we are aware of and can prepare for. But that still doesnt stop some of the fireworks!
But my need to dominate, is less than my need to submit to Him. I keep that in mind.
in the early days, i was cognitively sabotaging our relationship, with thought like, id not of done that, or, he's made a mistake there. Once made the huge mistake of wielding the whip myself. Ouch, never again!
Being any identification in this lifestyle is difficult within a relationship. Being what might be termed a switch, is more so i think. Duality in a submissive is something that i struggle with from time to time.
As our relationship developed, so did our coping mechanisms.
One of mine, is to deliberately not fuel my dominant side, by exposing myself to it. I dont watch fem domme porn, i dont read fem domme threads. And i avoid male submissives. I dont communicate with them. And i went on the pill to prevent pmt which lowers my acceptance of dominance over me.
some may believe that this is a denial of my full self. But on a needs fullfillment list, im doing great. I know what side my bread is buttered. And its subwise."
role reversal
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
February 17th - words of shy slave
"On rare occasions I have had sex having had a few drinks and its been ok.
I don't like drugs and after three drinks I am very tipsy and not in complete control of my own actions.
Andante has seen me like this and its not a pretty sight lol
When I first played in r/l the person I was with gave me poppers. I had never had them before and he said it would help me relax (I was so nervous I was almost sick), they worked and I did relax but they also made my body temp rise so I felt too hot to play until I calmed down.
Now I have a little more knowledge and understanding I really disagree with mixing any session with drink or drugs.
They affect how someone reacts, they slow down response times; if a PYL is influenced by stimulants and something starts to go wrong his response time to what is happening is slower. They are also less aware of what is happening with their own actions, laying a flogger on someones back and avoiding the liver/kidneys take precision and skill; these skills are hindered if they have taken stimulants.
I want to be able to trust the PYL and if they are under the influence of drink or drugs they are not in complete control either of themselves or the scene.
It feels a bit like playing russian roulette, most of the time everything works out ok, but sometimes it all goes horribly wrong."
Do any of you drink/do drugs while playing?
"On rare occasions I have had sex having had a few drinks and its been ok.
I don't like drugs and after three drinks I am very tipsy and not in complete control of my own actions.
Andante has seen me like this and its not a pretty sight lol
When I first played in r/l the person I was with gave me poppers. I had never had them before and he said it would help me relax (I was so nervous I was almost sick), they worked and I did relax but they also made my body temp rise so I felt too hot to play until I calmed down.
Now I have a little more knowledge and understanding I really disagree with mixing any session with drink or drugs.
They affect how someone reacts, they slow down response times; if a PYL is influenced by stimulants and something starts to go wrong his response time to what is happening is slower. They are also less aware of what is happening with their own actions, laying a flogger on someones back and avoiding the liver/kidneys take precision and skill; these skills are hindered if they have taken stimulants.
I want to be able to trust the PYL and if they are under the influence of drink or drugs they are not in complete control either of themselves or the scene.
It feels a bit like playing russian roulette, most of the time everything works out ok, but sometimes it all goes horribly wrong."
Do any of you drink/do drugs while playing?
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
February 18th - words of crazybbwgirl
"I had dreams about giant rubber bands last nite. That and the cane... why do the words "the cane" seem to create an echo when you think them? Or is that just me?
My only hope is that they don't make rubber bands in BBW size..."
Tit Torture
"I had dreams about giant rubber bands last nite. That and the cane... why do the words "the cane" seem to create an echo when you think them? Or is that just me?
My only hope is that they don't make rubber bands in BBW size..."
Tit Torture
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
February 19th - words of Jadefirefly
"I'm a sucker for some serious neck attention -- maybe not -too- hard a bite, but something intense, and warm, is enough to melt me into a little puddle of goo.
Interestingly, I'm finding as I go along that I'm equally as fond of devoting attention to His neck as well! I could spend hours at it, if I didn't get too squirmy and impatient for other fun things."
Neck Fetishes-Hmmmmm
"I'm a sucker for some serious neck attention -- maybe not -too- hard a bite, but something intense, and warm, is enough to melt me into a little puddle of goo.
Interestingly, I'm finding as I go along that I'm equally as fond of devoting attention to His neck as well! I could spend hours at it, if I didn't get too squirmy and impatient for other fun things."
Neck Fetishes-Hmmmmm
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
February 20th - words of naxalite0906
"Well you do constantly bring smiles to my face so that should put some on yours too if not have some 's instead.
As for the wanting and not having side of things, like I said, love seems to be conquering sex right now, but my bdsm desires will never go away, nor will they grow on her. I have told her as much as I can as I am very scared of freaking her out with anything more than I think she is capable of. I know she wants to make me happy, but to her sex isnt as deep, meaningful and as important as it is to me. I feel like its just a comprimise sometimes and that I'm constantly giving up a side of me that just wont go away."
Deep throating good for throats?
"Well you do constantly bring smiles to my face so that should put some on yours too if not have some 's instead.
As for the wanting and not having side of things, like I said, love seems to be conquering sex right now, but my bdsm desires will never go away, nor will they grow on her. I have told her as much as I can as I am very scared of freaking her out with anything more than I think she is capable of. I know she wants to make me happy, but to her sex isnt as deep, meaningful and as important as it is to me. I feel like its just a comprimise sometimes and that I'm constantly giving up a side of me that just wont go away."
Deep throating good for throats?
