Submissive Mood Swings

[muddledsub]

I'm not sure what to think. One day I'm as submissive as I can possibly be, begging my dom to take more and more control. A few days later I want absolutely nothing to do with D/s, and the thought of serving makes me cringe. These mood swings are causing havoc in my relationship. My dom is confused when one day I tell him I think I need out and the next I tell him I need more. I've always gone through horny/not horny times (as I'm sure we all do) but this is ridiculous. I don't know what I want and while my dom assures me that we can work it out, I am not happy putting us through this.

Anybody got experience/psychoanalysis/thoughts on this?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Could be related to hormonal changes. You would not be the first woman to experience it as part of PMS or menopause, or even depression. Could these relate to you and your experience?

Catalina

 

[O'Mac]

Sounds like it could very well be something to do with your cycle. I think you're Dom should be applauded for wanting to work through it. Take his assurance as a very positive thing.

 

[saw_man1]

While hormones sounds like the most likely cause; could you be struggling internally with your life as a submissive?

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I would suggest a complete physical with lab work to rule out any health issues as a starting point.

 

[Hester]

maybe keep track of your moods in relation to your cycle and see if there are any patterns?

 

[Still Falling]

Or it may not have anything to do with hormones - may just be me but i wouldn't just jump on a convient medical explaination unless there are other obvious signs that support this as a cause. I noticed in your question that you seem to relate your mood swings to your submissivness - not anything else that is happening in your life. I'd suspect that if it is simply hormones other areas of your life are likely to be affected too.

As was suggesterd by someone earlier, perhapes there is an issue of self-acceptance or something esle playing around in your subconscious that you're in denial about. i know that my moods can swing around if i'm not addmitting something to myslef.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I noticed in your question that you seem to relate your mood swings to your submissivness - not anything else that is happening in your life. I'd suspect that if it is simply hormones other areas of your life are likely to be affected too.

Actually, I have heard of a lot of female submissives having this reaction with hormonal changes, especially perimenopausal. It is not easy to relate to unless you have experienced it, and there need not be any other areas significantly affected. it could also be that there didn't seem a reson to list other aspects given they were concerned with the D/s factors and also may not have thought of this as an hormonal issue. The reason I thought of hormones was the poster was quite upset and confused by why this was happening without rhyme or reason and seemed genuine in wanting to find a solution, similar to others who have spoken of it as an issue....those who are confused or struggling with submission in general usually do not present in the same way.

Catalina

 

[pandoravampire]

I dont have any answers for you, but feel im struggling with my more and less submissive mood swings.
I did what was suggested, and for me, it was not related to hormonal changes in a months cycle. Ive been and had bloods done, to see if im hormonal, im between hormonal suppliments whilst i change over meds, but have yet to receive results.
I think it wise to have a little check up to eradicate physical pathology.

Meanwhile, occasionally, my behaviour is negative to us. So we are looking for ways around this, how to contain this, how to work with it, through it, by communicating about it lots.

Ive decided what i want to be, agreed what i want to be, why then, do i go awol from that?

I dunno, but im interested in yours and the replies that may come.

pandoravampire (who can now strip a sweaty bed and remake it in 2 mins coz of the night sweats, aggh!)

 

[muddledsub]

Thanks all for your replies. I am in my early 30s, so let's hope that it isn't related to menopause. That would indeed suck.

I've always had PMS issues but my cycle isn't out of whack. My Dom has known me long enough to pinpoint when an issue is PMS-related. Even during those times, my submissiveness wasn't usually a question, it was just a bitchiness sort of thing.

This is different and doesn't seem to correspond to my cycle at all. I'm not sure what it is, but I've already done some damage to the relationship. In one of my 'down' periods I told my Dom that this was all just a fantasy of mine, instead of a lifestyle, and my heart wasn't in it. Then a few days later, I really regretted it when I was feeling deeply submissive once again. I know I disappointed him deeply, and neither of us is sure where to go from here.

I feel fine physically, have a normal level of stress, am eating right, etc. I am coming out of a several-month-long 'funk' for lack of a better word that had me exhausted physically and metally. Perhaps it is related to that. I know in my heart I am submissive, although I am willing to entertain the idea that my level of submissiveness is not as deep as I thought it was.

Anyway thanks for the replies. My Dom has suggested a doctor, but hasn't commanded it since our relationship has changed. Perhaps I'll look into it.

 

[muddledsub]

Ive decided what i want to be, agreed what i want to be, why then, do i go awol from that?

That's me in a nutshell. Maddening.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I feel fine physically, have a normal level of stress, am eating right, etc. I am coming out of a several-month-long 'funk' for lack of a better word that had me exhausted physically and metally. Perhaps it is related to that. I know in my heart I am submissive, although I am willing to entertain the idea that my level of submissiveness is not as deep as I thought it was.

Anyway thanks for the replies. My Dom has suggested a doctor, but hasn't commanded it since our relationship has changed. Perhaps I'll look into it.

You say you are coming out of a "several-month-long 'funk' that had you exhausted, well that is most likely the reason for the mood swings. However you need to find the reason for the 'funk'. Listen to your Dom and get a check up, what would it hurt.

Trust me here. I have been there. I was having physical problems that had me down and being submissive was the very last thing on my mind. After getting my physical health mostly dealt with (some of which I'm still dealing with today and will for life) it has made it easier for me to return to my submissive mindset.

It sounds to me like your Dom really wants to be there for you, let Him. It is a rare gift I assure you.

 

[LunarKitten]

Thanks all for your replies. I am in my early 30s, so let's hope that it isn't related to menopause. That would indeed suck.

I've always had PMS issues but my cycle isn't out of whack. My Dom has known me long enough to pinpoint when an issue is PMS-related. Even during those times, my submissiveness wasn't usually a question, it was just a bitchiness sort of thing.

This is different and doesn't seem to correspond to my cycle at all. I'm not sure what it is, but I've already done some damage to the relationship. In one of my 'down' periods I told my Dom that this was all just a fantasy of mine, instead of a lifestyle, and my heart wasn't in it. Then a few days later, I really regretted it when I was feeling deeply submissive once again. I know I disappointed him deeply, and neither of us is sure where to go from here.

I feel fine physically, have a normal level of stress, am eating right, etc. I am coming out of a several-month-long 'funk' for lack of a better word that had me exhausted physically and metally. Perhaps it is related to that. I know in my heart I am submissive, although I am willing to entertain the idea that my level of submissiveness is not as deep as I thought it was.

Anyway thanks for the replies. My Dom has suggested a doctor, but hasn't commanded it since our relationship has changed. Perhaps I'll look into it.

I have a friend, who introduced me to this lifestyle many many years ago, who went through something similar to this when she was just learning her own way around (she's also a slave). Turns out she is manic depressive. She has been on different meds throughout the years, but her mood swings with her Master almost totally disappeared.

I hope this helps, somewhat, since you mentioned you had recently been in a funk.