Sub Space to "Blonde Space"

[kat_or_kitten]

Being relatively new to exploring D/s, I've been trying to read as much as possible, especially as I discover things about myself I don't fully understand. One of those things is sub space. I honestly didn't even know sub space existed until I experienced it. As someone who's had many years of adventurous, pleasurable 'vanilla' sexual relationships, I've been stunned to discover something so different inside me.

Then, searching the internet on sub space, I discovered something related on this page mentioning a submissive state they named "blonde space" and defined it as:

"In blonde space the submissive has trouble with rational thought. If you ask her if something is uncomfortable she is likely to say "I dunno". The truth is - she doesn't know. At this point she is not capable of distinguishing danger to herself, she cannot and will not utilize any safeword - it become incomprehensible to her. In her mind, she has you the Dominant, she loves and trusts you, you won't let anything happen to her."

This is definitely something that's been happening to me, and it's almost scary, feeling so disconnected and out of control. But it's also a rush, if I'm honest.

Has anyone else had this experience? Is it essentially the same thing as sub space?

Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Being relatively new to exploring D/s, I've been trying to read as much as possible, especially as I discover things about myself I don't fully understand. One of those things is sub space. I honestly didn't even know sub space existed until I experienced it. As someone who's had many years of adventurous, pleasurable 'vanilla' sexual relationships, I've been stunned to discover something so different inside me.

Then, searching the internet on sub space, I discovered something related on this page mentioning a submissive state they named "blonde space" and defined it as:



This is definitely something that's been happening to me, and it's almost scary, feeling so disconnected and out of control. But it's also a rush, if I'm honest.

Has anyone else had this experience? Is it essentially the same thing as sub space?

Thank you for your thoughts.

this happens to me alot...and i always just thought of it s a 'deeper' subspace..i have never heard it actually named *shrugs*i seem to go into this kind of space more when we are inthe 'forced' scenes..like rape scenes ect...which we did tonight and i was in yet another 'weird' head space..but maybe that's a post for another thread? anyway, like i said..i'd never heard it called 'blonde space'

 

[catalina_francisco]

i'd never heard it called 'blonde space'

New to me also.

Catalina

 

[kat_or_kitten]

this happens to me alot...and i always just thought of it s a 'deeper' subspace..i have never heard it actually named *shrugs*i seem to go into this kind of space more when we are inthe 'forced' scenes..like rape scenes ect...which we did tonight and i was in yet another 'weird' head space..but maybe that's a post for another thread? anyway, like i said..i'd never heard it called 'blonde space'

Thank you, lil_slave_rose. It is like a deeper sub space, for sure. Now that I understand what subspace is, I realize that it's happening to me almost every time I'm in a scene. But this other thing, "blonde space" or whatever, isn't as common at all. Similar to you, it seems to only occur when I'm being pushed, but into something I really want to be pushed into.

But it still feels scary, because I look back and I can't comprehend saying 'no' or using a safe word. Fortunately, my partner is intuitive enough to hold back rather than take me where I'll truly regret, and knows I need to be led gently into some things.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Thank you, lil_slave_rose. It is like a deeper sub space, for sure. Now that I understand what subspace is, I realize that it's happening to me almost every time I'm in a scene. But this other thing, "blonde space" or whatever, isn't as common at all. Similar to you, it seems to only occur when I'm being pushed, but into something I really want to be pushed into.

But it still feels scary, because I look back and I can't comprehend saying 'no' or using a safe word. Fortunately, my partner is intuitive enough to hold back rather than take me where I'll truly regret, and knows I need to be led gently into some things.

and that is a GREAT thing because we need to be able to trust that they will not take us into those places that could do actual harm, especially when we are in the deeper sub space. Master always tells me He will never "harm" me..hurt me, yes...but no harm Master and i read that site that you sent and really we decided we think that guy is just giving His opinions as alot of them i've never heard of *shrugs* or it couldbe something i've just not explored yet lol..who knows..we are always learning. i've been in the lifestyle for 3 years and again tonight i was shocked to go somewhere else i've never been, this time however, it was not a good place, but we live and learn ya know? like i said, i think the space he is talking about is just a deeper form of sub space..maybe He named it Himself?

 

[kat_or_kitten]

Master and i read that site that you sent and really we decided we think that guy is just giving His opinions as alot of them i've never heard of *shrugs* or it couldbe something i've just not explored yet lol..who knows..we are always learning. i've been in the lifestyle for 3 years and again tonight i was shocked to go somewhere else i've never been, this time however, it was not a good place, but we live and learn ya know? like i said, i think the space he is talking about is just a deeper form of sub space..maybe He named it Himself?

LOL. Yes, I expect you're right, that the name was made up by the writer.

But it still made me wonder. I never thought of there being different 'levels' I could go down to, and this has been a strange and scarier place to me. Normally, I will drift out of myself, lose touch with my surroundings, fall into the moment deeply. But I still feel like I am myself, like I still have my own boundaries, and that I can protect myself, if need be. I feel like I'm floating and I feel safe because I trust.

But this other, deeper subspace is something different. I am slightly more aware of myself, but still don't feel any control. I can't think clearly at all, and I have NO boundaries. If someone wanted to abuse that, I guess they could.

On the other hand, maybe someone I didn't trust completely would never be able to bring me to that level of subspace. I just don't know because I've had so little experience.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

LOL. Yes, I expect you're right, that the name was made up by the writer.

But it still made me wonder. I never thought of there being different 'levels' I could go down to, and this has been a strange and scarier place to me. Normally, I will drift out of myself, lose touch with my surroundings, fall into the moment deeply. But I still feel like I am myself, like I still have my own boundaries, and that I can protect myself, if need be. I feel like I'm floating and I feel safe because I trust.

But this other, deeper subspace is something different. I am slightly more aware of myself, but still don't feel any control. I can't think clearly at all, and I have NO boundaries. If someone wanted to abuse that, I guess they could.

On the other hand, maybe someone I didn't trust completely would never be able to bring me to that level of subspace. I just don't know because I've had so little experience.

everything you said makes perfect sense and yes there are different' levels of subspace and some of them can be scary the first time or even the second third or whatever. and yes i believe that if you do not trust the one you're 'playing' with, you probably won't reach those other levels or even any level of sub space. you're right someone could very well abuse it, and that's scary..that's why we must be careful and know the person we play with....

 

[MasterPhoenix]

everything you said makes perfect sense and yes there are different' levels of subspace and some of them can be scary the first time or even the second third or whatever. and yes i believe that if you do not trust the one you're 'playing' with, you probably won't reach those other levels or even any level of sub space. you're right someone could very well abuse it, and that's scary..that's why we must be careful and know the person we play with....

That is very ture... and held you though when I first took you...

 

[kat_or_kitten]

everything you said makes perfect sense and yes there are different' levels of subspace and some of them can be scary the first time or even the second third or whatever. and yes i believe that if you do not trust the one you're 'playing' with, you probably won't reach those other levels or even any level of sub space. you're right someone could very well abuse it, and that's scary..that's why we must be careful and know the person we play with....

Thank you again, lil_slave_rose. You're always so kind and I truly appreciate that. Thanks for helping me think and talk it through. I feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one.

 

[Etoile]

"In blonde space the submissive has trouble with rational thought. If you ask her if something is uncomfortable she is likely to say "I dunno". The truth is - she doesn't know. At this point she is not capable of distinguishing danger to herself, she cannot and will not utilize any safeword - it become incomprehensible to her. In her mind, she has you the Dominant, she loves and trusts you, you won't let anything happen to her."

Interesting, I've never heard of this either. I can't relate to the "won't use a safeword" bit because I've never had a safeword...I trust my Daddy to keep me from permanent harm. I do understand the "I dunno" bit though, I have had great trouble at times coming up with a real answer to a question, because I simply don't know the answer. E has gotten frustrated with me on occasion because of this, but I just can't come up with a response. So that definitely holds true for me, but the safeword part is something I'm not familiar with.

I'm not sure how I feel about it being called "blonde space" - isn't that kind of perpetuating a myth?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Interesting, I've never heard of this either. I can't relate to the "won't use a safeword" bit because I've never had a safeword...I trust my Daddy to keep me from permanent harm. I do understand the "I dunno" bit though, I have had great trouble at times coming up with a real answer to a question, because I simply don't know the answer. E has gotten frustrated with me on occasion because of this, but I just can't come up with a response. So that definitely holds true for me, but the safeword part is something I'm not familiar with.

I'm not sure how I feel about it being called "blond space" - isn't that kind of perpetuating a myth?

that's what i was thinking too and i think this guy named it himself. as far as not having a safe word, i trust my Master also, i know that He would never intentionally do something to harm me but there may very well be times that He doesn't see a scene going wrong, that He is not aware that i'm not enjoying something. i've never had to safeword He knows me very well and can read my body language and sounds but i guess maybe it's just something so that i feel safer..ya know? and i am in no way saying that the way anyone else thinks is wrong, i'm just saying this is how i feel for *myself*

 

[Netzach]

Um offensive?

I could call it "hard on" space I guess. I've noticed that you can deduct 40 IQ points from any guy with wood.


But yes! There IS often a brain fog that happend when someone's riding the crest of serious endorphin waves - this is kind of a no-brainer in my experience, probably the first thing you'll notice, and yes it's sometimes kind of entertaining for all involved. I've struggled for words when the vixen who was spanking me starts grilling me on just what kind of service I might be *good for*? And sounded like a garden variety eedjit "I can lick pussy?"

I'm not a bottle brunette either, I just find this stuff stupid in general.

 

[Penalt]

Um offensive?

I could call it "hard on" space I guess. I've noticed that you can deduct 40 IQ points from any guy with wood.

Thats because most of us guys have two heads and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

 

[Mamid]

I've been so far into subspace that it took me days to come completely back into my body even though the scene ended ages earlier. Anything touching that bruise would send me back into it and it took several days of healing to stop slipping out.

Blonde? Not me. Unable to think rationally - yes. Unable to do much but what was asked of me - hell yes.

The only place similar would be when giving birth. For the actual process of giving birth, not the labour but pushing, there comes a time when I can't think but just do what is commanded of me.

 

[BeachGurl2]

. . . I'm not sure how I feel about it being called "blonde space" - isn't that kind of perpetuating a myth?

I agree with this one. It's obvious that a female sub didn't come up with that name.

To me, sub space is sub space, but there are different levels, like with anything else. I have been so deep that I couldn't form coherent thoughts and words. But I would never call it blonde space. How stupid is that?

 

[Netzach]

I agree with this one. It's obvious that a female sub didn't come up with that name.

To me, sub space is sub space, but there are different levels, like with anything else. I have been so deep that I couldn't form coherent thoughts and words. But I would never call it blonde space. How stupid is that?

This is, I agree, a wonderful example of the desire to classify things gone way way way amok. We noticed the euphoria, shocklike reactions, and slow formulation of thoughts on a person being acted on in a scene and felt like that needed a name, so it got the klunky moniker "subspace" but lo! that was not good enough so we need MORE specificity and jargon?

I'd rather just be aware of the fact that if I'm going to play with, or develop a dominant/submissive relationship with a person, they will react to me in a plethora of ways that the person who gave me change at the gas station isn't.