Sub Applicants that do not have the time

[theGM26]

Sub that do not have the time

Obviously this being only my third post here on Literotica, I am new to this community. I am, however, not new to this lifestyle having lived in it for three years (not a very long time compared to others I know). During that time, I have met several amazing slave girls. I have recently been plagued with women that do not seem to have the time to even be a sub. Having spoken with women that have timed their day down to the minute, yet they seem to think I will be able to satisfy their needs with little to no time.

I always went about devoting my time to my sub as if I had a girlfriend; if I had a girlfriend, I'd make the time for them. Obviously, the situations are different, but as a boyfriend I'd expect them to make some time for me. So my question is it too much of me to want some of their time or am I thinking about this wrong? I guess I might be considered clingy.

 

[KoPilot]

Wait, you require subs to fill out an application and submit it to you before you agree to dom them?

Sounds to me like you need to just include a question that asks the particulars of their time and how much they expect to dedicate to you.

 

[theGM26]

I meant applicants as those women that are inquiring about being my slave...

 

[CutieMouse]

I meant applicants as those women that are inquiring about being my slave...

News flash...

In addition to how I conduct my relationships (D/s dynamics), I also have a home to run, bills to pay, a job (45-50+ hours a week), etc. you know; responsible adulthood type shit. And sometime responsible adult type shit makes the other stuff dammed difficult to accomplish... Especially before any sort of commitment is made.

(These are the moments I wonder why people act like kinky dating is any different from dating, dating.)

 

[Lovetolisten]

24/7?

Are you wanting a 24/7 TPE? That takes a special dedication and lifestyle. I prefer to keep a D/s relationship in the bedroom, or when I have time to play. I have needs too, but there has to be time made to attend those needs. Life happens

 

[theGM26]

sigh never mind... I guess you guys missed the point and I dont really want to try to explain it again.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I wonder what a really amazing online slavegirl looks like?

 

[twister947]

sigh never mind... I guess you guys missed the point and I dont really want to try to explain it again.

FWIW, I get it. D/S aside, I have known people who want a relationship, but can't seem to find or make the time for it. They obviously have different needs, and define relationships in ways that are foreign to me. Shoehorning me into their schedules is too much like an appointment with my lawyer... I have no interest in being anyone's footnote.

Stella, I see no mention of "amazing online slave girls.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Stella, I see no mention of "amazing online slave girls.

You're right, sorry.

Anyways, OP: No, you are not being too clingy. You have your needs and those needs include a percentage of time. If a woman can't match that need, then you and she are not a good match.

It's kind of crazy that you are having a hard time finding your sub, in a world where so many women can't find men who want to spend time with them!

 

[theGM26]

You're right, sorry.

Anyways, OP: No, you are not being too clingy. You have your needs and those needs include a percentage of time. If a woman can't match that need, then you and she are not a good match.

It's kind of crazy that you are having a hard time finding your sub, in a world where so many women can't find men who want to spend time with them!

That's why I was thinking I was crazy... lol

I guess its frustrating to me when someone says I want this, and when I give it to them, they don't have the time to actually want it.

 

[DVS]

Obviously this being only my third post here on Literotica, I am new to this community. I am, however, not new to this lifestyle having lived in it for three years (not a very long time compared to others I know). During that time, I have met several amazing slave girls. I have recently been plagued with women that do not seem to have the time to even be a sub. Having spoken with women that have timed their day down to the minute, yet they seem to think I will be able to satisfy their needs with little to no time.

I always went about devoting my time to my sub as if I had a girlfriend; if I had a girlfriend, I'd make the time for them. Obviously, the situations are different, but as a boyfriend I'd expect them to make some time for me. So my question is it too much of me to want some of their time or am I thinking about this wrong? I guess I might be considered clingy.

From the tone of the replies, it seems to me the OP was toned down a bit, when it was edited. The replies mention a contract or application and there is no mention of this in this post so I assume you first mentioned prospective mates fill out an application before editing your opening post. I can reply to the edited post (which I have quoted here, in case further editing changes are made.

I understand that you need someone to clear time in their schedule for you. Everybody seems to be so busy with their lives, these days. We try to do it all. Sometimes we lose so much sitting in city traffic jams or waiting in line with others. I know that any spare time I have is while on my lunch and unfortunately, any business I visit during that time also has employees at lunch, so the people who are there to assist me are are stretched thin. Waiting in traffic jams, waiting at long traffic lights, waiting in long lines for service are just a few of the ways our time is stolen from us. Because we all try to pack so much into the day, everything overlaps, causing us to lose even more valuable time.

But, that's just the lives we have. If you don't have such a life, good for you, but life does tend to add up. I see nothing wrong with your search for someone with the time to spare so you both can share personal time together. But, I don't think requiring someone to dedicate time to you is really the way to go. Be it a contract, application or some other kind of demand, there will come a time when life gets in the way and there just won't be enough to go around. Trying to demand your equal share of time will start with creating stress and eventually create a wall between the two of you.

Seek someone with a lifestyle similar to yours. Communicate your desires with prospective mates, and listen as they communicate their desires. Everybody has priorities in life. You might find out that sex or submitting to someone is not as high on someone's list as kids, or work, or something else in their life.

I understand your problem, but learn to go with the flow. As you become more and more special in someone's life, you just might become more of a priority. Until then, making demands can actually put you lower on their list.

 

[theGM26]

The only thing I edited was the title of the post, and I explained that I meant applicants as in anyone inquiring about the position as my slave.

Edit: I'm not actually making demands... or rather the only demands I'm making is the ability to talk with them once a day. One woman could not even do that. She could barely talk to me once a week.

 

[prettyinpink25]

Regardless of the D/s relationship--real life responsibilities exist. Even if you lived together 24/7, would there not be housework to take care of? errands to run? a job to provide income? Personally, I am a full time student, homemaker, stay at home mother, wife, and sub. Should all of my responsibilities be thrown into the wind because I am a sub? I believe not. and thankfully, so does He

If you are taking applications for a sub rolleyes then I would suggest outlining the fact you want a time consuming commitment to the D/s relationship.

 

[theGM26]

Regardless of the D/s relationship--real life responsibilities exist. Even if you lived together 24/7, would there not be housework to take care of? errands to run? a job to provide income? Personally, I am a full time student, homemaker, stay at home mother, wife, and sub. Should all of my responsibilities be thrown into the wind because I am a sub? I believe not. and thankfully, so does He

If you are taking applications for a sub rolleyes then I would suggest outlining the fact you want a time consuming commitment to the D/s relationship.

I'm not saying drop everything and be mine. I'm saying give me 15-30 minutes where we talk and catch up on the day. You would do that for your significant other yes? Once again I understand the situations are different.

 

[prettyinpink25]

I'm not saying drop everything and be mine. I'm saying give me 15-30 minutes where we talk and catch up on the day. You would do that for your significant other yes? Once again I understand the situations are different.

My significant other is not my Dom, so yes, situations are different. I have to adequately provide attention to all things I listed above. In regards to my Dom, yes I do give Him (typically more than) 30 minutes to talk each day. You might just want to reword what you're looking for, because how you are explaining yourself now has a much different vibe than in the initial post.

 

[DVS]

The only thing I edited was the title of the post, and I explained that I meant applicants as in anyone inquiring about the position as my slave.

Well, not much would change in my reply, then. "Applicants" seems to mean seeking someone specific for a job. That's not how you should go about this. You can list your desires and hope theirs match up, but don't expect a cookie cutter applicant to come along. Like in my first post, life tends to get in the way.

Also, mentioning the "position" of slave is similar to using the word applicant. A D/s relationship is just like a vanilla relationship. There is give and take between two people. In many cases, it starts with the sub or slave deciding she likes the dom and could see herself submitting to him, but that decision doesn't come until she knows more about him and feels she can trust him. Only then will she maybe consider the position of submissive or slave.

Like I said in my first post, I understand your desire for personal time with your sub or slave. But before any of that can happen, you need to show her the kind of person you are. Your demeanor, your temper, your dom style, experience and above all, your trustworthiness.

In essence, she's looking for someone to fill the position of dom. Neither of you will find a perfect fit, so the search is probably a long one. Sometimes we never find what we are looking for and decide to take second best. Whatever you decide, be as open as possible in this and expect the same from her. Communication of desires and expectations is how the negotiations begin. In that process, both parties size the other up. That is really the application for both positions.

 

[theGM26]

sigh once again you are all missing the point... I'll stop now...

 

[prettyinpink25]

sigh once again you are all missing the point... I'll stop now...

I don't think that I am.
The advice I would offer is to be upfront about your desires and intentions (I prefer that to..requirements). The beginning of a D/s relationship is similar to a vanilla one, both parties involved must be aware of and comfortable with what each is expecting from the relationship. The point of it all is for it to be mutually enjoyable.

 

[DVS]

The only thing I edited was the title of the post, and I explained that I meant applicants as in anyone inquiring about the position as my slave.

Edit: I'm not actually making demands... or rather the only demands I'm making is the ability to talk with them once a day. One woman could not even do that. She could barely talk to me once a week.

You'll just need to find someone with more time to share. It sounds like a woman who won't talk to you as much as you desire should be a big red flag for you. I'd be sure to list that desire prominently in your negotiations. You will save valuable time on your way to the next prospective mate.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's why I was thinking I was crazy... lol

I guess its frustrating to me when someone says I want this, and when I give it to them, they don't have the time to actually want it.

So very much true!

Unfortunately, this society has set itself up to deny most people the time for what they want. Either that, or they don't have a job at all.

 

[the captians wench]

So very much true!

Unfortunately, this society has set itself up to deny most people the time for what they want. Either that, or they don't have a job at all.

Tell me about it!

This week I have been forced to watch the store while my GM is on vacation, which means even though today is my day off, I have worked an hour and been scolded for not doing more. That puts my total for the week at 48 hours. Thankfully I'm not in classes right now, but with classes, a 45 hour work week, and my sewing wench obligations, and the hour drive between school/work and my home, there's just not a lot of time left.

And with the 5 hour time difference, we're lucky to get 30 mins a week to chat. He of course also has his own obligations. If he demanded more of my time, or I more of his, it would lead to a lot of stress in our relationship. What we have works for us, and we're happy with it, but it may not work for others. In fact I have had several conversations with others in similar situations who say they couldn't have a relationship where they didn't talk to the other person every day. If it works for them cool, if it works for you cool. It's all about matching needs.

 

[Loverskitten]

A relationship is a relationship, D/s or not.
In my extensive online dating experience, I have come across so many profiles that say such things as, "I have a demanding job that forces me to travel and takes up most of my time, I also have three kids which are my priority, I surf whenever I get a chance, and..." Really? How are you going to fit me in there?
Meh, good luck is I guess my advice to the OP. lol

 

[graceanne]

The only thing I edited was the title of the post, and I explained that I meant applicants as in anyone inquiring about the position as my slave.

Edit: I'm not actually making demands... or rather the only demands I'm making is the ability to talk with them once a day. One woman could not even do that. She could barely talk to me once a week.

The irony of this is the number of subs we get on this board yearly complaining that their dominant doesn't spend enough time with them, or call them enough, or text them or play with them or yaddayadda. Just wow. lol

Otherwise, I'd say you're probably going through a relationship dry period. Just keep trying, and you'll find someone who wants what you want.

 

[devinity7]

I haven't ever experienced this lifestyle...even though the intrigue is there. Sure, I've run across men who say they are Doms, but I don't find they have my best interest at heart. I've learned enough to pick up on that. Anyway, what I wanted to say is there is this old saying, "Quality v. Quantity." I believe that is the key.

If a person is making their best effort to make the best of the time afforded them, then wouldn't you both feel more satisfied? One can make another feel important just by saying a few simple words...it's not magic. It's not going to happen instantaneously with someone new. Some time needs to be vested for both to feel there is the right connection in place for it to even get very far.

In instances where there isn't much time to talk with someone, then it might take longer than you hoped. The payback though, could be outstanding. Of course the drawback is that it doesn't work out, which happens in all sorts of situations. Patience is the key and expectations need to stay low in the beginning, otherwise no one will meet your desires.

 

[ace195008]

I agree with Lovetolisten..I would think difficult to have a full time D/s relationship especially with kids around the house. Pls I am not judging people who do. If that's what you enjoy more power to you...just my own opinion