Sub Applicants that do not have the time

[theGM26]

I haven't ever experienced this lifestyle...even though the intrigue is there. Sure, I've run across men who say they are Doms, but I don't find they have my best interest at heart. I've learned enough to pick up on that. Anyway, what I wanted to say is there is this old saying, "Quality v. Quantity." I believe that is the key.

If a person is making their best effort to make the best of the time afforded them, then wouldn't you both feel more satisfied? One can make another feel important just by saying a few simple words...it's not magic. It's not going to happen instantaneously with someone new. Some time needs to be vested for both to feel there is the right connection in place for it to even get very far.

In instances where there isn't much time to talk with someone, then it might take longer than you hoped. The payback though, could be outstanding. Of course the drawback is that it doesn't work out, which happens in all sorts of situations. Patience is the key and expectations need to stay low in the beginning, otherwise no one will meet your desires.

Right but the problem comes in in the situation Loverskitten pointed out. How are we supposed to dominate someone when they don't have the time to actually be dominated. When someone comes to you and says I have this life that takes all of my time and I'd like you to add something to it, what do you do? You are a stranger to them yes, but if the person has no time to actually sit down and get to know you (I hate this phrase by the way I might just start a new topic about it), what do you do?

I'm not saying drop everything that is important to the sub. Having a life is great; it means you are determined and shows character. When you have no time to actually do anything with someone you are forming a relationship with, it becomes disheartening for the other person.

That was kind of the point of this thread to see if anyone else had experience what I had been experiencing a lot of the last few months. I've had quite a long dry spell.

 

[njlauren]

One question for you, have you met these women in person or was it all online chat/IM/e-mail? The reason I am asking is if these are online hookups, you could be running into men pretending to be female subs, which woud explain why they 'have no time for you'. Dominants I know dealing with men often get that, they talk online, they have these great back and forths, and suddenly, when it looks like it is going to become real, the guy suddenly has no time, is busy, etc....and a lot of the time, that means they are married and are just jerking around. Maybe the women you are finding are intrigued by being sub but when the rubber hits the road, of a real relationship, they freeze.

I don't know how you are meeting these women, but part of the answer may be how you are looking for them. You might be better off broadening your pool and looking for someone in general rather than trying to find a women who id's as sub, and try and introduce it to them. Much larger pool, and there you should be able to find someone with time.

The other things is if you put out ads or whatever, make that clear in your profile, that you are looking for someone who can spend time with you. It may filter out a lot of women, but it also will cut down your frustration level.

 

[naughtabell]

Honestly, I am probably one of those very people you are talking about.

Unfortunately real life beckons ALL THE TIME. I have bills to pay and people who depend on me.

I won't lie - if it was a new relationship (especially online) and I didn't feel like it was going anywhere I probably wouldn't put to high on my priority list.

At the same time it could help you weed out those who aren't going to be a good fit for you.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[theGM26]

Honestly, I am probably one of those very people you are talking about.

Unfortunately real life beckons ALL THE TIME. I have bills to pay and people who depend on me.

I won't lie - if it was a new relationship (especially online) and I didn't feel like it was going anywhere I probably wouldn't put to high on my priority list.

At the same time it could help you weed out those who aren't going to be a good fit for you.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

Right but how would you know if it was going anywhere without giving it a chance? Relationships build and bloom it isn't always an instant feeling. I've met women, who yes proved they were women, I initially thought bad of but gave a chance. They turned out to be some of the more memorable experiences. In order to give them a chance, wouldn't you have to fit them in somehow? I'm talking about women who can't even do that.

 

[KoPilot]

Right but the problem comes in in the situation Loverskitten pointed out. How are we supposed to dominate someone when they don't have the time to actually be dominated. When someone comes to you and says I have this life that takes all of my time and I'd like you to add something to it, what do you do? You are a stranger to them yes, but if the person has no time to actually sit down and get to know you (I hate this phrase by the way I might just start a new topic about it), what do you do?

I'm not saying drop everything that is important to the sub. Having a life is great; it means you are determined and shows character. When you have no time to actually do anything with someone you are forming a relationship with, it becomes disheartening for the other person.

That was kind of the point of this thread to see if anyone else had experience what I had been experiencing a lot of the last few months. I've had quite a long dry spell.

This isn't anything new or bizarre-- male subs and bottoms do this all the time. The difference is that they're usually willing to pay for it.

I've met women, who yes proved they were women

Oh lawd don't tell me you're one of those guys who's paranoid that every person they're talking to on the internet is secretly a man? Back when I played WoW, I would get this all the time from other players I was grouped and trying to accomplish thing with. Let's just say I was the party's healer and would gladly let them die when they wouldn't shut the fuck up. Having to "prove" that I'm anything is an enormous turn-off.

 

[devinity7]

Right but the problem comes in in the situation Loverskitten pointed out. How are we supposed to dominate someone when they don't have the time to actually be dominated. When someone comes to you and says I have this life that takes all of my time and I'd like you to add something to it, what do you do? You are a stranger to them yes, but if the person has no time to actually sit down and get to know you (I hate this phrase by the way I might just start a new topic about it), what do you do?

I'm not saying drop everything that is important to the sub. Having a life is great; it means you are determined and shows character. When you have no time to actually do anything with someone you are forming a relationship with, it becomes disheartening for the other person.

That was kind of the point of this thread to see if anyone else had experience what I had been experiencing a lot of the last few months. I've had quite a long dry spell.

I think sometimes people go searching for something out of need without really being realistic as to what the outcome might be. Or even think it through. You're correct in saying that if you go looking for someone to enhance your life in some way shape or form, you should make sure first you are able to do the same for them and it's a realistic situation for you both. Otherwise, you're just wasting everyone's time.

 

[BrightlyGo]

This isn't anything new or bizarre-- male subs and bottoms do this all the time. The difference is that they're usually willing to pay for it.

KoPilot tells it like it is again.

theGM26: if your potential subbies are that oh-so-busy, they're probably really organized. "Day timed down to the minute," right? You could play to it. Have her make an appointment, two weeks in advance, of course, put it in her dayplanner or PDA or mobile device or whatever. If she needs to cancel, she better do it 48 hours in advance, or there'll be a 'cancellation fee,' (which can be something fun - for you). Not enough time for a session? Have her make an appointment for a quickie, or block out a few minutes of her busy day to masturbate (within that strict time limit) while thinking about you.

Or, you could assign her games to play while she's busy doing whatever it is takes up all her time. They needn't be anything that'd slow her down or screw her up, they could just make her feel that she's submitting. Something as simple as wearing (or not wearing) specific articles of clothing or jewelry, for instance. Or replying to certain every-day questions in one specific, but still every-day, way. Won't seem strange to anyone else, but she'll feel it each time. (How to enforce it? Don't need to. If she 'cheats,' she's the only one missing out.)

You could play up the service top angle by calling her a 'client' instead of a 'slave' - until such time as she can find a little more time. Assuming you have plenty of time, you could have several clients and still be open to finding someone less harried. Afterall, if she can't give you much time, she's also not taking up much of yours.


Maybe that doesn't fit your style, though, and that's fine, keep looking for what you need. There are certainly women out there who need the same thing, there are just too many people in the world for that not to be randomly true. (not very helpful, i know)

 

[naughtabell]

Right but how would you know if it was going anywhere without giving it a chance? Relationships build and bloom it isn't always an instant feeling. I've met women, who yes proved they were women, I initially thought bad of but gave a chance. They turned out to be some of the more memorable experiences. In order to give them a chance, wouldn't you have to fit them in somehow? I'm talking about women who can't even do that.

Bottom line - if they don't want to take the time to know you then it isn't worth stressing about.

I for one am a feelings girl. I have always acted on my feelings and have an idea of what has potential and what doesn't. If I don't feel some attraction/connection then I am not going to try and drag it out.

Keeping looking - you will find that one person who will give you the time you want and deserve.