Study: Women reject promiscuous female peers as friends

[MatthewVett]

http://news.cornell.edu/stories/2013/05/study-women-reject-promiscuous-female-peers-friends

Sad, but not entirely unexpected. Thoughts?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Naaah. Birds of a feather flock together.

Women always bad mouth other women, but what I find is most women talk one thing and clean up when no ones watching.

 

[Stella_Omega]

you missed a crucial modifier there, in your title; College-age

Lately I have been listening to a lot of college students; Passionate. Judgmental. Inexperienced.

 

[autoplot]

Casualties of high-school sex education, I suspect.

"Sex is oogy and scary and if you do it, you're a bad person and will go to hell!"

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm sure everyone's just dying to hear the evolutionary biologist's slant on this.

Survival strategy required women to maintain male fidelity, so any other sexually attractive female was seen as competition and a threat. Sexually experienced or promiscuity was to be shunned and disparaged.

Men, whose strategy involved inseminating anything that moved, were drawn to promiscuous women for sex but discouraged from caring for offspring that might or might not be his.

So it was in both sex's interest to create the double standard of madonna/whore. Madonna for the mother of your child, whore for all other sexually available women.

Same as it ever was.

 

[3113]

Kinda limited view there, Dr. M....

Survival strategy required women to maintain male fidelity, so any other sexually attractive female was seen as competition and a threat. Sexually experienced or promiscuity was to be shunned and disparaged.

All well and good, Dr. M, except among most apes (which we are) the females work together to raise the kids. Thus moms, sisters, daughters, aunties are good things, unlike males who come and go--and are even, in some groups, kicked out by either the ruling male or by the females. Males don't enter into survival much outside of giving the females babies to raise, hence male fidelity is immaterial.

How does your survival strategy jive with the fact that females of our species (ape) have a better time of it relying on each other than on males, and therefore, do not care if said females fuck around with a lot of males? So long as said females help with the kids and maintain the mostly female tribe?

And this behavior extended itself to human tribal behavior where there is usually a male with a harem. This would suggest that the men are pushing for Madonna/whore ("my woman, my baby, no other man gets in here, spoils my woman and leave me with HIS kid to raise!). By way of evolution, biology or anthropology, Madonna/Whore seems more a male construct to keep all women belonging to one man and all children his children--rather than a construct of the women who are doing all the survival work, including raising the kids.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Read Colin Turnbull's memoir of life with the iK! people of Uganda to get a clear idea of what societies are like without monogamous sexual bonds.

The iK! were typical African farmers till the government took their land for a national wildlife sanctuary, and settled the iK! on barren, arid hills above the park. The females make small amounts of money fucking park rangers and police officers. A very few males make a living poaching game from the park, but for the most part government workers furnish the money and babies, and iK! males are parasitical and criminal (stealing from the girls and the sick). Most iK!s are dead by 25.

My thinking is, monogamous sexual bonding was the start of civilization. Sisters may join forces to repel leopards and lions but theyre impotent when it comes to the predatory feral males. While the gals are chasing one male away the rest of the guys are exploiting the uproar to loot food and steal babies to use as bait in their traps.

 

[R. Richard]

Let's try a little systems analysis here.
In a hunter gatherer band, children are necessary to continue the existence of the band. Thus, children are valued. Women produce the children fathered by the males. However, which males? If a hunter gatherer woman fucks all of the breeding age males, the males have an interest I seeing that her baby gets food and whatever. If a hunter dies, when the animals hunt back, the widow still needs to feed her babies. The more men that think that they might be the father, the better condition under which the widow lives. However, she can't steal another woman's man, else the widow loses support of the other women. It's a sexual balancing act.
Then, humans discovered agriculture. The problem with agriculture is land. It's necessary to know who owns land. Marriage establishes which children inherit the land. However, only men have the strength to really farm in the early days. Thus a man wants a guarantee (delusional) that it's his children who inherit the land and not the children of some wandering stud. Our idea of monogamous marriage stems from our farmer roots.
JMNTHO.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Let's try a little systems analysis here.
In a hunter gatherer band, children are necessary to continue the existence of the band. Thus, children are valued. Women produce the children fathered by the males. However, which males? If a hunter gatherer woman fucks all of the breeding age males, the males have an interest I seeing that her baby gets food and whatever. If a hunter dies, when the animals hunt back, the widow still needs to feed her babies. The more men that think that they might be the father, the better condition under which the widow lives. However, she can't steal another woman's man, else the widow loses support of the other women. It's a sexual balancing act.
Then, humans discovered agriculture. The problem with agriculture is land. It's necessary to know who owns land. Marriage establishes which children inherit the land. However, only men have the strength to really farm in the early days. Thus a man wants a guarantee (delusional) that it's his children who inherit the land and not the children of some wandering stud. Our idea of monogamous marriage stems from our farmer roots.
JMNTHO.

I had a client who practiced what you suggest. She fucked several men, got pregnant, and told all of them they were the lucky winners. And she collected money from all of them until they learned of the scam. Then they kicked the baby out of her body and left her on the road to bleed to death. Happened 3 or 4 times I know of. Altogether she had 10 children by the time she was 25. That was 10 years ago.

The most likely scenario is for feral males to rape the females and steal their stuff.

 

[lovecraft68]

Cattiness pure and simple.

The women who have "morals" or just have some inhibitions that their upbringing installed in them, don't like "sluts"

They don;t like them, because they are jealous of the fact these women know what they want and have no issues with finding it and having a good time.

Meanwhile Mrs Prig goes home and wears out her batteries.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Cattiness pure and simple.

The women who have "morals" or just have some inhibitions that their upbringing installed in them, don't like "sluts"

They don;t like them, because they are jealous of the fact these women know what they want and have no issues with finding it and having a good time.

Meanwhile Mrs Prig goes home and wears out her batteries.

You been lookin for love in all the wrong places.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

you missed a crucial modifier there, in your title; College-age

Lately I have been listening to a lot of college students; Passionate. Judgmental. Inexperienced.

I think you just described most of the people I've met in Midwest, minus the passionate part, unless you meant: passionate about being judgmental.

 

[lovecraft68]

You been lookin for love in all the wrong places.

I've never looked for love. My first marriage was with a woman as fucked up as I was and a case of "we're both broken so we can understand each other"

Second time around it found me, in the case of right place right time, when my second (and current) wife was supposed to meet a friend at a bar and ended up going to the wrong bar and running into me instead.

 

[lovecraft68]

you missed a crucial modifier there, in your title; College-age

Lately I have been listening to a lot of college students; Passionate. Judgmental. Inexperienced.

That's interesting because you just nailed the AH's resident college student Cruel2bkind to the T.

My wife works with a lot of girls in the 16 to 20 range and again a very accurate description.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I've never looked for love. My first marriage was with a woman as fucked up as I was and a case of "we're both broken so we can understand each other"

Second time around it found me, in the case of right place right time, when my second (and current) wife was supposed to meet a friend at a bar and ended up going to the wrong bar and running into me instead.

I found one at the Laundromat. I set my basket of clothes atop a washer and went next door to get a Coke. When I returned some Ronald McDonald looking thing was looking thru my clothes basket. She scrammed when she saw me. Then came back and sat on my washer. We talked, and I let her get a block away from the Laundromat before I yelled to her, asking her out. First she called me a son of a bitch for waiting so long, then said yes. She looked like Nicole Kidman only whiter, if that's possible. And red on the head like a dick on a dog.

 

[Handley_Page]

you missed a crucial modifier there, in your title; College-age

Lately I have been listening to a lot of college students; Passionate. Judgemental. Inexperienced.

My first thought was "ignorant". I mean it in the best sense, as in "unknowing".

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've been thinking about this, and in fact it does make sense to me, because I was one of those promiscuous women as a teen, and although I did have female friends, my friendships were few, and limited in scope. I felt that I understood men better than I did women-- and the kind of man who could express complex emotions was as foreign to me as most women were.

It was much easier to fuck guys than it was to thread my way through the emotional landscape of women's society. So yeah, I think many women shunned me, but-- I never noticed the lack, actually. I had exactly the kind of social life I wanted.

That's my personal experience. I think there are other 'flavors' so to speak, of promiscuity, and other reasons women might shun someone, most certainly including social judgment, and I am sure I got some of that as well-- but as I say, I wouldn't have known or cared.

 

[sr71plt]

I thought women would avoid association with promiscuous women simply because they didn't want to be painted with "guilt by association" without having the good times involved.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

...She looked like Nicole Kidman only whiter, if that's possible. ...

So, you're saying she was transparent?

 

[Cruel2BKind]

That's interesting because you just nailed the AH's resident college student Cruel2bkind to the T.

My wife works with a lot of girls in the 16 to 20 range and again a very accurate description.

Thanks?

I've been thinking about this, and in fact it does make sense to me, because I was one of those promiscuous women as a teen, and although I did have female friends, my friendships were few, and limited in scope. I felt that I understood men better than I did women-- and the kind of man who could express complex emotions was as foreign to me as most women were.

It was much easier to fuck guys than it was to thread my way through the emotional landscape of women's society. So yeah, I think many women shunned me, but-- I never noticed the lack, actually. I had exactly the kind of social life I wanted.

That's my personal experience. I think there are other 'flavors' so to speak, of promiscuity, and other reasons women might shun someone, most certainly including social judgment, and I am sure I got some of that as well-- but as I say, I wouldn't have known or cared.

I know that feel. I finally started gathering female friends this last year, and all of them are either promiscuous, or abuse some kind of drugs. Burnouts and sluts are the friendliest, least judge-y people in the world.