Strangest thing you’ve masturbated with…

[Rodlicker57]

(I said this in an earlier thread.) When I was a girl, my brother found an old football game at a yard sale. Seems the little runners just ran wild on the vibrating field while I WENT wild sitting at the end zone!

Loved that game….now I REALLY love that game…..what an image!

 

[Rodlicker57]

Banana peel!
Slip sliding away!

 

[ernesthornimann]

I've just bought one of those large capacity syringes (150ml – just the plastic parts) which, with a little customisation fits and sucks nicely.

 

[MaggieConnor]

I'm a little startled to realise I've got three stories to share in this thread. I'll do them one at a time.
1. This was years ago, when The Simpsons merchandise was everywhere. My boyfriend at the time had a shaving soap bowl which was in the form of Homer and Marge sitting together in a foam-filled bath, their plastic heads and shoulders poking up from the plastic foam. Marge's hair was a knobbly blue column, about the size of a large thumb. One day while in the shower I had the irresistible urge to slide her stiff plastic barnet up inside my pussy, but it wasn't big enough to do the job (although the knobbly texture was interesting) so I tried it up my bum, and it was my first time trying anal penetration. Nice enough, but not really my thing. Sorry Marge!

 

[MaggieConnor]

2. A couple of years ago my husband hurt his back and was unable to do some garden duties he'd been meaning to. The main one was giving the fallen leaves a good blowing to the compost area with a petrol powered leaf blower. I volunteered to do the task instead, and he showed me how to use the blower, simple enough. As I went away to do the job, I turned to my husband and held the blower in front of my crotch like it was a massive cock. I thrust my hips at him while revving it up, as a joke. Well, the intense vibrations found their way immediately to my clit in a way that surprised me, but I styled it out and went off to do the work. Shortly after, having finished most of the job and under cover of trees, I revved myself to orgasm in two minutes flat. I often do the leaf blowing now, but I've never told him why.

 

[MaggieConnor]

3. This is similar to 2. but with a high pressure patio cleaner. The high pressure hose on such a device vibrates incredibly intensely if you pull it fairly taut. You can then coil it and hold it against your bits in a totally natural-looking way with one hand, while you shoot the water trigger with the other hand. It makes me cum quicker than a leaf blower, which is something most people never get to say.

 

[Icekiller56]

I believe @GoodGirlsDeserveFun has some things she can share

 

[Mr_Nosey]

I quite enjoy using my partners rabbit. tucking it underneath my balls to vibe my perineum while I'm stroking. She has no idea and might well wonder why it's got shit battery life...

 

[pntyhseluvr]

Vacuum cleaner. I took the hose and slid my cock inside and turned it on. It gave an incredible blowjob!

 

[JamieLoves]

I’ve tried cucumber and banana lol

 

[Dreamer110]

I’ve tried cucumber and banana lol

Would you make me a salad and desert later?

 

[discjockey74]

I’ve tried cucumber and banana lol

I’ve also tried a cucumber!

 

[LostHorizon]

Kiwi fruit, bird seed, mag loader. The usual weird stuff.

 

[michael2956]

Banana peel!
Slip sliding away!

Me, too!

 

[michael2956]

I quite enjoy using my partners rabbit. tucking it underneath my balls to vibe my perineum while I'm stroking. She has no idea and might well wonder why it's got shit battery life...

Done that! Feels amazing, especially when it "accidentally" slips and touches the rim of my anus.

 

[Dreamer110]

Me, too!

Never thought of that. Got some nice ripe ones in the kitchen.

 

[pntyhseluvr]

Might have to stop at the store

 

[Peppadance]

3. This is similar to 2. but with a high pressure patio cleaner. The high pressure hose on such a device vibrates incredibly intensely if you pull it fairly taut. You can then coil it and hold it against your bits in a totally natural-looking way with one hand, while you shoot the water trigger with the other hand. It makes me cum quicker than a leaf blower, which is something most people never get to say.

I need someone at my house to do the blowing and washing if he loans you out!

 

[SirSparky]

I’ve tried cucumber and banana lol

My sub loves a banana. The way it curves up inside her

 

[BDA73]

Empty snapped bottle...easy cleanup

 

[EmmAgain]

I’m sure something stranger will come to mind, but a friend’s mother’s hairbrush has to be up there.

In late 2013, I was doing a sleepover at a friend’s place. That night, in bed, we decided to sext her boyfriend - a joint effort in naughty talk, but without him knowing.

My friend and I kept one-upping each other in terms of raunchiness. Soon enough, I was feeling extremely hot and bothered, and excused myself for a bathroom break.

As soon as my nightie was up, my fingers were in. But then I noticed a juicy hairbrush handle on the shower shelf and grabbed it like a starving man at a feast. No need for lube - I was dripping.

As soon as I came, I did the most natural thing imaginable for a girl like me: I sent it as a snap to a few boys. We must have stayed up half the night sexting, but I never told my friend about the hairbrush.

https://www.imagebam.com/view/ME175WX2

 

[stevesthename]

Not particularly strange, but I love the fierce jet setting on a power shower. I like to start before I'm hard, playing the jet on a softer setting on my foreskin, where I can feel it drumming through. Then I switch to the fierce jet and flick it back and forth over my foreskin, which feel more intensely, but still dulled by the skin, and I start to harden.

As I harden, the tip of my cock begins to emerge, so I tease it with the fierce flow from the shower, gradually angling the jet to slowly drive my foreskin right back as I get fully hard. The sensation is incredibly intense as I play the jet over my hard, fully exposed cock head.

Switching the flow from hot to cold and back as I play the jet right on my head increases the fun, as does switching between the shower jet and slowly stroking with a soapy hand.

The resulting orgasm is usually long and intense.

 

[BiCuriousWriter]

Never thought of that. Got some nice ripe ones in the kitchen.

Ripe cucumbers and bananas easily break when inserted anally. I know from experience...

 

[Dreamer110]

Ripe cucumbers and bananas easily break when inserted anally. I know from experience...

Wished I was a fly on the wall for that one.

 

[BiCuriousWriter]

Not particularly strange, but I love the fierce jet setting on a power shower. I like to start before I'm hard, playing the jet on a softer setting on my foreskin, where I can feel it drumming through. Then I switch to the fierce jet and flick it back and forth over my foreskin, which feel more intensely, but still dulled by the skin, and I start to harden.

As I harden, the tip of my cock begins to emerge,, so I tease it with the fierce flow from the shower, gradually angling the jet to slowly drive my foreskin right back as I get fully hard. The sensation is incredibly intense as I play the jet over my hard, fully exposed cock head.

Switching the flow from hot to cold and back as I play the jet right on my head increases the fun, as does switching between the shower jet and slowly stroking with a soapy hand.

The resulting orgasm is usually long and intense.

I do that too but using the smallest rays possible so it tickles. I only came hands-free once, the very first time I did this. Always needed a hand after that, but the foreplay is still very nice.