Straight women & lesbian erotica

[Brknarrws]

Is it common for straight women to read lesbian erotica?

What about when they read gay male erotica?

I am curious if this is just fantasies or more to it?

I have found my partner secretly reads these but is otherwise completely sexually reserved and generally lacks interest in sexual activities all together.

I have of course asked what she likes, what her preferences are, but her response is generally along the lines of 'women don't need or think about sex the way men do.' To her if it happens it happens, but not something she would otherwise care about.

Is this way of thinking common for women? Any suggestions on other ways to get her to talk about this?

 

[lil_jenni]

I have of course asked what she likes, what her preferences are, but her response is generally along the lines of 'women don't need or think about sex the way men do.' To her if it happens it happens, but not something she would otherwise care about.

I've been trying to think of a nice way to write this, but I can't, so I'm ripping off the bandaid, so to speak.

Maybe she is not straight. Maybe she has convinced herself she is because of conditioning/societal expectations. That could account for both the clandestine reading of female/female erotica and the overt (and seemingly contrary) assertion that she is ambivalent about sex.

 

[lil_jenni]

I just reread your post, and want to clarify. Are you saying that she reads homoerotic literature, some female/female and some male/male? It looks like that on a second reading.

Another possibility is that she is straight (or straightish) and has some trauma around male/female sex. That could explain her stated ambivalence as well as seeking sexual outlet through literature that does not evoke the trauma.

But to answer your original question, I think it is common for people to push their sexual comfort by exploring via literature (i.e. vicariously). But I'd say I'm not sure that a straight person reading only homoerotic literature is that common.

 

[SilentSometimes]

I’d say it pretty common for heterosexual women to read and watch lesbian porn. Most porn is made for men and or by men. Female orgasms and pleasure and realistic sensual experiences for women are not generally the primary focus in male centric porn.

I remember early on just desperately trying to find things that didn’t involve women gagging on a dick or men cumming on her face or the stupid fake moans: enter lesbian porn. It had more foreplay, softer sex, less hair pulling and less force. I loved it. If you’re searching for porn so that you can picture yourself getting off in that scenario, then a lot of heterosexual porn may be to aggressive or unrealistic to get into it.

As for her not vocalizing her needs: is she young? I basically spent the first half of my 20s assuming men knew what they were doing and that if I gave directions, they wouldn’t appreciate it. I needed more men to say “please tell me, please direct me, I want to focus on your pleasure” way earlier. Sex gets better when you feel safe enough to talk about what you want.

 

[lil_jenni]

Okay, maybe I'm the one who's unusual. I've always liked both hetero erotica and female/female erotica, even when I was in denial about my bisexuality. And that was true of my friends I knew well enough to talk about such things. And I never feared expressing my sexual drive, which is as strong as most men I have known, so maybe I'm off base on why someone would profess no interest but still read some form of erotica. But it seems to me it shows a latent interest, and that interest may just be different than what she has access to.

 

[Bbl87]

I don't know about reading, but my wife does enjoy watching lesbian porn from time to time.

 

[Brknarrws]

Im hetero black female but i love homo porn/stories of exploring, breeding, tribbing, frotting and humping. It really makes my pussy wet

Well that's an honest and very hot response. Thanks for that!

 

[Brknarrws]

Okay, maybe I'm the one who's unusual. I've always liked both hetero erotica and female/female erotica, even when I was in denial about my bisexuality. And that was true of my friends I knew well enough to talk about such things. And I never feared expressing my sexual drive, which is as strong as most men I have known, so maybe I'm off base on why someone would profess no interest but still read some form of erotica. But it seems to me it shows a latent interest, and that interest may just be different than what she has access to.

Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts and perspectives. And I'm sure you are really not that unusual at all!

 

[Brknarrws]

I’d say it pretty common for heterosexual women to read and watch lesbian porn. Most porn is made for men and or by men. Female orgasms and pleasure and realistic sensual experiences for women are not generally the primary focus in male centric porn.

I remember early on just desperately trying to find things that didn’t involve women gagging on a dick or men cumming on her face or the stupid fake moans: enter lesbian porn. It had more foreplay, softer sex, less hair pulling and less force. I loved it. If you’re searching for porn so that you can picture yourself getting off in that scenario, then a lot of heterosexual porn may be to aggressive or unrealistic to get into it.

As for her not vocalizing her needs: is she young? I basically spent the first half of my 20s assuming men knew what they were doing and that if I gave directions, they wouldn’t appreciate it. I needed more men to say “please tell me, please direct me, I want to focus on your pleasure” way earlier. Sex gets better when you feel safe enough to talk about what you want.

This is helpful, thank you. Yes, I think like in many things in life, communication is key!

She is not young, so that is part of the frustration with the lack of communication and the lack of clear interests in something... anything.

 

[Brknarrws]

I don't know about reading, but my wife does enjoy watching lesbian porn from time to time.

Interesting, me too!

When she does watch, is it something she does on her own or with you? And does she initiate it or do you need to?

 

[Bbl87]

Interesting, me too!

When she does watch, is it something she does on her own or with you? And does she initiate it or do you need to?

I don't think she watches porn much outside of with me, usually it'd be initiated by me but she has a couple times. We do occasionally (very occasionally, lately) send each other sexy things we find on reddit, and she has her fair share of girl on girl saved on there as well.

 

[Openmymind]

I’d say it pretty common for heterosexual women to read and watch lesbian porn. Most porn is made for men and or by men. Female orgasms and pleasure and realistic sensual experiences for women are not generally the primary focus in male centric porn.

I remember early on just desperately trying to find things that didn’t involve women gagging on a dick or men cumming on her face or the stupid fake moans: enter lesbian porn. It had more foreplay, softer sex, less hair pulling and less force. I loved it. If you’re searching for porn so that you can picture yourself getting off in that scenario, then a lot of heterosexual porn may be to aggressive or unrealistic to get into it.

As for her not vocalizing her needs: is she young? I basically spent the first half of my 20s assuming men knew what they were doing and that if I gave directions, they wouldn’t appreciate it. I needed more men to say “please tell me, please direct me, I want to focus on your pleasure” way earlier. Sex gets better when you feel safe enough to talk about what you want.

My wife is "straight". We watch all kinds of porn together and she does definitely like some lesbian, gets her horny. Even likes to talk about what type of pussy she likes. If the movie doesn't show up close pussy views she's disappointed. I don't bug her about it or try to label it, but just let her enjoy the moment.

 

[Openmymind]

Interesting, me too!

When she does watch, is it something she does on her own or with you? And does she initiate it or do you need to?

My wife never watches on her own, at least that she'll admit to. However, when we're together she does likes to take over and pick what we watch!!

 

[Brknarrws]

I don't think she watches porn much outside of with me, usually it'd be initiated by me but she has a couple times. We do occasionally (very occasionally, lately) send each other sexy things we find on reddit, and she has her fair share of girl on girl saved on there as well.

Now that's a creative way to get things going. Very good for the two of you!

 

[Bbl87]

Now that's a creative way to get things going. Very good for the two of you!

Eh, doesn't happen very often these days. But it is fun when it does.

 

[Brknarrws]

My wife never watches on her own, at least that she'll admit to. However, when we're together she does likes to take over and pick what we watch!!

Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with anybody watching or reading what they want. It's good to fantasize and find excitement. We have watched together on the past as well. She seemed to not mind it but wouldn't say much. I usually had to pick, so I generally tried to go with girl/girl stuff for the reasons others mentioned above - little more sensual, etc. I think watching together is a good thing. But nice when she expresses what she likes as well. Well done, sounds like you have it figured out!

 

[Openmymind]

Bump

 

[Dreaming22]

.

 

[Openmymind]

Yeah my SO enjoys watching some lesbian porn. It can't be cheesey and needs to have an element of being real. If those prerequisites are met and she likes the ladies, watching will have a positive effect on her. Agree with you about the labels. She never really talks about that aspect and we never use any labels about what is obviously happening. It's in our bedroom so no one needs to know!! She's always liked men a lot so it's just interesting that sex that way is erotic for her. We watch a lot of guys masturbating each other, too, which she likes, but so do I!! We humans are complex...if you drop labels and norms, things become more fluid!!

 

[Brknarrws]

Update since I originally posted this - I have been doing a lot more reading on this and it seems like it is actually quite a common thing for otherwise 'straight' women to watch/read lesbian erotica.

The common factor seems to be, like any porn or kink, you can enjoy watching, reading or learning about it without actually having the desire to physically experience it yourself.

So keep on watching and reading ladies!!! And enjoy!!!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

The common factor seems to be, like any porn or kink, you can enjoy watching, reading or learning about it without actually having the desire to physically experience it yourself.

This. I like lesbian porn but not really interested in girls in real life. Ive also been turned on by guy on guy porn but i dont wish to be a guy...

 

[Openmymind]

This. I like lesbian porn but not really interested in girls in real life. Ive also been turned on by guy on guy porn but i dont wish to be a guy...

I think that's pretty much it. We get turned on by watching it but it doesn't necessarily mean we want to do it. I get turned on when she likes girl girl and vice versa.

 

[Pink5Frills]

Is it common for straight women to read lesbian erotica?

What about when they read gay male erotica?

I am curious if this is just fantasies or more to it?

I have found my partner secretly reads these but is otherwise completely sexually reserved and generally lacks interest in sexual activities all together.

I have of course asked what she likes, what her preferences are, but her response is generally along the lines of 'women don't need or think about sex the way men do.' To her if it happens it happens, but not something she would otherwise care about.

Is this way of thinking common for women? Any suggestions on other ways to get her to talk about this?

~ One here likes to read about lesbian erotica. I have experienced a little lesbianism myself.

 

[Brknarrws]

~ One here likes to read about lesbian erotica. I have experienced a little lesbianism myself.

Intriguing! Maybe you should write some of your own!

... Do you have any???

Appreciate your helping to confirm!

 

[Pink5Frills]

Intriguing! Maybe you should write some of your own!

... Do you have any???

Appreciate your helping to confirm!

If one does write here, it shall be fact and not a fantasy of mine, of my lesbian experiences with an older woman.