Story tags; the He said, She said of writing dialog

[MSTarot]

First let me say that in no way do I consider myself a good writer. I think of myself as a good storyteller.

There is a lot of technical word knowledge that I think is need to be called a good 'writer'.

I'm learning this part of the trade as I go, a kind of hands on the keyboard training.

Right now my current project is to learn to use the comma at the end of dialog along with He said, She said, we said, you said, they said or whatever other combination of 'said' the story and style demands.

The problem is all this 'he said' is feeling so cumbersome. Like something that I've added that isn't really needed.

I've received complaint comments recently that it's hard to figure out who is speaking in my stories.

So..... are they needed? I know that some are but do you need to place them after every spoken line? That feels like I'm hand holding the reader.

"Okay first this person is speaking...alright now it's the girls turn. Pay attention to her she's about to tell you something important."

I know there are some good 'writers' here (I've read your work with envy) does this problem of 'Story tags' feeling cumbersome just go with the trade?

Or is this a judgement call? A could go either way kind of thing. Writer's discretion....maybe?

Shrug, looking for other's opinions on what is probably an old debate.

M.S.Tarot.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Popular, successful writers do it all kinds of ways.

Play with it and find a style that's clear for the reader and right for you.

 

[LadyVer]

I'm no expert, but tags aren't needed for every piece of dialogue. Sometimes, it can be redundant.

 

[Darkniciad]

When there are only two people involved, you can eliminate a lot of them. My personal preference is to reinforce the speaker every three or four changes of dialogue.

I don't always do that with a "said", though.

Either before or after the dialogue, I toss in a gesture, a facial expression, or something of that nature. It attaches the line to the character without the necessity of an actual dialogue tag.

This is even more useful in conversations between more than two people, where the "said" can feel even more cumbersome.

 

[HeyAll]

Here's a pattern I use:

"........" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "........"

"........."

"........."

"........." he joked in a playful tone. "........"

She laughed, "........"

 

[SamScribble]

The purpose of dialogue tags is primarily to guide the reader, to let the reader know who said what. If it is clear from the dialogue itself who is speaking, a tag is not usually necessary.

For example:

Fred looked across the table at Diana. ‘Want another coffee?’

Diana shook her head. ‘I think I’d rather have a cold drink.’

‘Coke?’

‘Coke would be nice. Thanks.’

Fred went to the fridge and took out a can of Coke. ‘You want it in a glass? Or as it is?’

‘As it is is fine – thanks.’

No tags; no problems. It’s perfectly clear who said what. But what about if there are three people?

For example:

Fred looked across the table at Diana. ‘Want another coffee?’

Diana shook her head. ‘I think I’d rather have a cold drink.’

‘Coke?’

‘You shouldn’t drink so much of that stuff,’ Dolly said. ‘You’ll end up like your old man.’

‘It’s not coke with him,’ Diana said. ‘It’s beer. Too much beer.’

Fred laughed. ‘I’ve also got beer. You know – if you’d prefer.’

Diana smiled. ‘Thanks. I’ll stick with the Coke.’

The other time that a dialogue tag can be useful is when you want to introduce a brief pause into the dialogue.

For example:

George flopped the sample book down on the table. ‘There are a couple new colours this year,’ he said. ‘Green still seems to be the most popular colour though.’

One thing that many clumsy writers get hung up on is trying to find variations on the basic he said/she said tags. ‘He averred’, ‘he asserted,’ ‘he retorted,’ (and the like) usually just get in the way of what is being said. Unless you have a very good reason not to: avoid them.

 

[jomar]

However you do it, you probably do need to remind people every handful of lines.

I have gone back to check line by line at times just to make sure I'm tracking it right. Especially if there's some internal dialog or other distraction happens, even continuation at times.

 

[MSTarot]

Okay. Thanks all.

That was kind of along the lines of what I thought but wasn't sure of.

I had thought I was doing that already But if people are saying it's hard to know who's speaking maybe a few more here and there.

Okay back to writing.

M.S.Tarot

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Thank you Sam. Your examples made your points perfectly.

I saved your post to my Writing Tutorial file. Now if I'd just remember to read the damn thing every now and then.

Mike

 

[slyc_willie]

Here's a pattern I use:

"........" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "........"

"........."

"........."

"........." he joked in a playful tone. "........"

She laughed, "........"

I generally follow something similar in my writing. I don't include tags at the end of every single line of dialogue, as that just seems amateurish to me. I feel it also insults the reader if you feel you need to always qualify who is speaking.

I like to play around with dialogue tags sometimes, though, even going as far as to have an entire page of telephone dialogue without any tags or descriptors whatsoever. The first time I saw this done was in a Dean Koontz novel way back when. The trick is to give each character involved a distinctive voice that is readily identifiable by the reader, such as quirky ways of speaking, an implied accent, or references to things only that character has experienced in the story.