Story sent back due to lack of kink - can anyone help?

[MillieDynamite]

I get it, I get it. Oh, wow, I got the joke.

The 'D' is silent

(ADHD)

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

@EmilyMiller Also, to make you snort

 

[Bamagan]

Suddenly thinking she should write about a mutant vanilla plant that goes on a vine-fucking rampage across space and time.
"You'll never think of vanilla sex the same way again..."

Incidentally, vanilla plants are a type of orchid. Perfect choice for that Pink Orchid event, really.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Vanilla is a cash crop, not quite as lucrative as opium or cocaine, but right up there with coffee. And let's be honest, a little vanilla mixed with chocolate makes it better. In fact, vanilla makes a lot of dishes better. I could make a crude interracial joke here about Jo making me better, but I don't like to compare people to food.

Incidentally, vanilla plants are a type of orchid. Perfect choice for that Pink Orchid event, really.

 

[onehitwanda]

In the centaur, of course.

You. Yes, you. In the corner, now. Stand there until you're sorry.

 

[onehitwanda]

View attachment 2290925

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, that's disturbing on a certain level.

 

[onehitwanda]

Well, that's disturbing on a certain level.

thanks, I do my best

 

[KachinaDoll]

Nonononono. Try to traverse the IKEA in Wembley (that's in London for you collonials) without murdering your spouse.

They've got pits in the parking lot for body disposal.

I went to IKEA Wembley once. Still waiting for my gallantry medal from Buck House to arrive.

 

[Djmac1031]

You. Yes, you. In the corner, now. Stand there until you're sorry.

 

[lc69hunter]

Hi all,

My most recent story was sent back with the following message:

• Literotica is an erotic fiction community centered on the sharing of human adult fantasies. While we do not have a policy against a lack of kink in submissions from EmilyMiller, we do ask that all work published by her contains at least some bizarre fetish or non-mainstream sex. This story contained none of: anal, gang bangs, femdom pegging, tentacles, urine drinking, restrained impact play or school uniforms. Are you feeling well? Please see this FAQ for more information: https://literotica.com/faq/publishing/publishing-emilymiller

Had anyone else had this message, and any advice what I should do about it?

Thanks in advance.

Em

To one of the kinkiest minds on this board...

 

[Lifestyle66]

I just popped into this thread and saw all of the earlier tentacle monster posts.

I'm not getting ANY traction on my tentacle monster crap ("Amorous Goods: The Magic Lamp"). (The wife intimidates the monster and the whole planet Mars.)

Okay. I'll now go back into my corner.

 

[AchtungNight]

I haven’t received such a message yet. When Laurel gives you something that personal, it’s a sign she may be a fan of your work.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But remember this is only allowed if the tentacle monster enjoys it.

But what if the tentacle monster has a serious guilt complex and can only get off if he doesn't enjoy it?

 

[Zootonius]

Drive safe, you watch out for Velociraptors!

 

[EmilyMiller]

To one of the kinkiest minds on this board...

You and your sweet talk .

Em

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I went to IKEA Wembley once. Still waiting for my gallantry medal from Buck House to arrive.

IKEA Wembley is for beginners. IKEA Croydon is much more challenging thanks to the clientele being a mix of scary south Londoners and some Surrey types slumming it.

I admit that it's not generally as rough as when they opened the IKEA in Tottenham and had to call riot police after someone got stabbed and people were fighting over £49 sofas with machetes, but I suspect it's mainly because the 2011 Croydon riots would be peanuts compared to what would happen if our IKEA closed.

I once managed to drive into IKEA, acquire a trolley, find two large bookcases, pay for them and get them in the car, in under 20 minutes. This merits a knighthood, I believe.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You drove into the store. Did you have trouble navigating the aisle?

IKEA Wembley is for beginners. IKEA Croydon is much more challenging thanks to the clientele being a mix of scary south Londoners and some Surrey types slumming it.

I admit that it's not generally as rough as when they opened the IKEA in Tottenham and had to call riot police after someone got stabbed and people were fighting over £49 sofas with machetes, but I suspect it's mainly because the 2011 Croydon riots would be peanuts compared to what would happen if our IKEA closed.

I once managed to drive into IKEA, acquire a trolley, find two large bookcases, pay for them and get them in the car, in under 20 minutes. This merits a knighthood, I believe.

 

[Rustyoznail]

IKEA Wembley is for beginners. IKEA Croydon is much more challenging thanks to the clientele being a mix of scary south Londoners and some Surrey types slumming it.

I admit that it's not generally as rough as when they opened the IKEA in Tottenham and had to call riot police after someone got stabbed and people were fighting over £49 sofas with machetes, but I suspect it's mainly because the 2011 Croydon riots would be peanuts compared to what would happen if our IKEA closed.

I once managed to drive into IKEA, acquire a trolley, find two large bookcases, pay for them and get them in the car, in under 20 minutes. This merits a knighthood, I believe.

Hmm. This site is full of fiction.

I'd like that independently verified, and if true, then that deserves to go in the Guinness Book of World Records.

 

[MrPixel]

I once managed to drive into IKEA, acquire a trolley, find two large bookcases, pay for them and get them in the car, in under 20 minutes.

No. Baloney. You were clearly measuring the time in metric minutes.

 

[Pureotica]

If I have any leftover tentacles from my next Cthulhu monster story you can have them.

I did actually did some free writes with some Cthulhu inspired elder gods. Parts of it were hysterical. It still makes me laugh if I read it. But I'll probably never finish it to a publishable state, So I'm happy to surrender my tentacle allowance to someone who will use them for a more noble purpose. Or ignoble, depending on one's perspective.

FWIW the brainstorm was about the Creation god having a drunken one-nighter with the Chaos goddess, tearing the fabric of reality and causing an accidental apocalypse. The concept would make a fun story. I just have too many w.i.p to plot a new one, and I'm not sure if there's an audience for octopus headed deity smut.

 

[EmilyMiller]

If I have any leftover tentacles from my next Cthulhu monster story you can have them.

I did actually did some free writes with some Cthulhu inspired elder gods. Parts of it were hysterical. It still makes me laugh if I read it. But I'll probably never finish it to a publishable state, So I'm happy to surrender my tentacle allowance to someone who will use them for a more noble purpose. Or ignoble, depending on one's perspective.

FWIW the brainstorm was about the Creation god having a drunken one-nighter with the Chaos goddess, tearing the fabric of reality and causing an accidental apocalypse. The concept would make a fun story. I just have too many w.i.p to plot a new one, and I'm not sure if there's an audience for octopus headed deity smut.

When you say, leftover, as in removed from the body?

Not sure about necro-tentacle sex.

Em

 

[Pureotica]

When you say, leftover, as in removed from the body?

Not sure about necro-tentacle sex.

Em

They're gods, sort of. They can take anthropic forms. I'm just assuming they can grow tentacles whenever they want, because I'm the writer and no one can tell me otherwise.

I never thought about the shelf life of surplus tentacles, though. Probably best to check the expiration date.

 

[EmilyMiller]

They're gods, sort of. They can take anthropic forms. I'm just assuming they can grow tentacles whenever they want, because I'm the writer and no one can tell me otherwise.

I never thought about the shelf life of surplus tentacles, though. Probably best to check the expiration date.

Yeah - they probably have a fuck by date, right?

Em

 

[nice90sguy]

You’re not allowed to include hyperkinks in your story