Stepford Dom/mes and submissives/slaves

[s'lara]

Thinking ... thinking and finding myself with stick in hand to poke at an issue regarding expressions of adoration in the D/s context. Pre-emptive disclaimer - This will not apply to all nor should it.

Here are a few of the statements i've seen, but they all really tend to be the same:

submissive/slave (i start out with the bottom's simply because they tend to be more expressive in this way)

1. "He/She is the essence of my submissive soul and completes me in a way i have never felt before."

2. "He/She is all that i will ever need to be truly happy."

3. "i find joy in just serving Him/Her and that is enough to make me content."

4. "His/Her control is more than i ever hoped for and i would be lost without it."

Dom/mes, Masters/Mistresses/Tops

1. "My one is so special to me ... he/she is a treasure."

2. "she/he serves me so well; i have found my true pet."

3. "So precious is my one ... i will adore her/him because they have made the ultimate sacrifice ... to give their control to Me."

i've seen this and watched it float around the board quite a bit. The only problem i have with it is that the expressions seem to be coated in a candy-like veneer. No, i am not saying that these platitudes, when said by those that mean it, are baseless, wooden compliments. i'm saying that there are times when they seem not quite real. i don't know ... maybe those that say it are in the first blush stages of the relationship. Maybe some say it because they just got back together ... and then there could be the simple explanation ... they truly mean it.

Whatever the case may be, i am learning that D/s isn't pretty little bits of leather and pain. Not everything turns out all Cinderalla-like with me tied to a tree the day of my wedding with my new Dom/Husband taking us across a very different kind of threshold (Secretary reference).

i am also learning that not everyone fits into the neat and tidy boxes i first had in mind when venturing in this lifestyle. *shrugs* i guess my bottom line gripe is this - i like knowing when things are going well within your (general you) relationships ... hell, that makes me feel good in a 'vicarious living' sort of way, but it is cool to know that the real enters into your (again with the general you) lives and you find it not so fairy-tale oriented ... and like it just fine.

End gripe.

lara

 

[lovetoread]

submissive/slave (i start out with the bottom's simply because they tend to be more expressive in this way)

1. "He/She is the essence of my submissive soul and completes me in a way i have never felt before."

2. "He/She is all that i will ever need to be truly happy."

3. "i find joy in just serving Him/Her and that is enough to make me content."

4. "His/Her control is more than i ever hoped for and i would be lost without it."

I'd like to point out that I have never posted words like this to my knowledge, and if I have, it had to be when I was having that prescription drug problem.

Secondly, having learned the hard way, most of what is posted as a sub may be what the poster is told to post.

Sometimes that can be a pain in the ass.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I don't see what the big deal is. It is easy to pass judgment as an outsider. As long as the people involved are happy, what others think about how they express themselves should not make a difference.

Different strokes for Different folks.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I don't see what the big deal is. It is easy to pass judgment as an outsider. As long as the people involved are happy, what others think about how they express themselves should not make a difference.

Different strokes for Different folks.

It is not as cloying as some of the things vanillas say.

Remember the movie Jerry Maguire?

"You complete me!" Really!

 

[Netzach]

LOL and ditto what she said.


Day in life:

M and I had a knock down screaming fight, actually two in one day. Oh, wait, we can't do that, he's supposed to obey me and I'm supposed to shut him up in the event of dissent or emotional outburst. Whoops.

We went to the park, he stripped to his shorts, lay his head on my butt while we camped out on a blanket. Felt better after soaking in sun. Not mad anymore, kissed, resolved not to PMS scream at him anymore this one was more "my fault."

Too busy sorting boxes of shit to play, cleaned house though, Tonight, laundry, "Capturing the Friedmans" maybe, he'll work on animation, I'll paint, plan on salad.

I find the lingo you are highlighting usually applies in LD relationships. Put two people in the same house, and the prose becomes more prosaic.

Let the record state, though, that I adore M, he makes me laugh and enjoy life so much, and when he does finally shut up settle down and surrender, it's the sweetest thing you ever did see, simply a delight.

 

[dragonlace]

For me its because its all already been said before and better than i can explain it......its truely difficult for me to explain how one feels in anothers control and because i love Him more than i have ever loved its difficult to put into words.....He does complete me in a way i have never felt so if i use a phrase that seems sugar coated maybe its because i feel as though my world is sugar coated with Him in it and even though its not all a bed of roses its more happiness than i have ever felt being with another and i feel so free and whole....like i am a part of something bigger than myself and for that i am grateful. Sorry if what i say seems insincere at times or like its all goodie goodie but when my heart damn near beats out of my chest at just the thought of Him its hard not to be totally blissful and a little giddy too.

 

[Netzach]

LOL and ditto what lovetoread said.


Day in life:

M and I had a knock down screaming fight, actually two in one day. Oh, wait, we can't do that, he's supposed to obey me and I'm supposed to shut him up in the event of dissent or emotional outburst. Whoops.

We went to the park, he stripped to his shorts, lay his head on my butt while we camped out on a blanket. Felt better after soaking in sun. Not mad anymore, kissed, resolved not to PMS scream at him anymore this one was more "my fault."

Too busy sorting boxes of shit to play, cleaned house though, Tonight, laundry, "Capturing the Friedmans" maybe, he'll work on animation, I'll paint, plan on salad.

I find the lingo you are highlighting usually applies in LD relationships. Put two people in the same house, and the prose becomes more prosaic.

Let the record state, though, that I adore M, he makes me laugh and enjoy life so much, and when he does finally shut up settle down and surrender, it's the sweetest thing you ever did see, simply a delight.

 

[Netzach]

So much for my skills with the "edit" feature, pardon the redundancy.

 

[snoozebutton]

Thinking ... thinking and finding myself with stick in hand to poke at an issue regarding expressions of adoration in the D/s context. Pre-emptive disclaimer - This will not apply to all nor should it.

Here are a few of the statements i've seen, but they all really tend to be the same:

submissive/slave (i start out with the bottom's simply because they tend to be more expressive in this way)

1. "He/She is the essence of my submissive soul and completes me in a way i have never felt before."

2. "He/She is all that i will ever need to be truly happy."

3. "i find joy in just serving Him/Her and that is enough to make me content."

4. "His/Her control is more than i ever hoped for and i would be lost without it."

Dom/mes, Masters/Mistresses/Tops

1. "My one is so special to me ... he/she is a treasure."

2. "she/he serves me so well; i have found my true pet."

3. "So precious is my one ... i will adore her/him because they have made the ultimate sacrifice ... to give their control to Me."

i've seen this and watched it float around the board quite a bit. The only problem i have with it is that the expressions seem to be coated in a candy-like veneer. No, i am not saying that these platitudes, when said by those that mean it, are baseless, wooden compliments. i'm saying that there are times when they seem not quite real. i don't know ... maybe those that say it are in the first blush stages of the relationship. Maybe some say it because they just got back together ... and then there could be the simple explanation ... they truly mean it.

Whatever the case may be, i am learning that D/s isn't pretty little bits of leather and pain. Not everything turns out all Cinderalla-like with me tied to a tree the day of my wedding with my new Dom/Husband taking us across a very different kind of threshold (Secretary reference).

i am also learning that not everyone fits into the neat and tidy boxes i first had in mind when venturing in this lifestyle. *shrugs* i guess my bottom line gripe is this - i like knowing when things are going well within your (general you) relationships ... hell, that makes me feel good in a 'vicarious living' sort of way, but it is cool to know that the real enters into your (again with the general you) lives and you find it not so fairy-tale oriented ... and like it just fine.

End gripe.

lara

Or demanding respect online when they are unknown to you, putting a submissive under your "protection" like she's three years old, chatting at not with someone because your a Dominant and especially treating the lifestyle like an exclusive club not the family it really is to all of us.

 

[s'lara]

Quote Thyself

Just want to quote a few things from the original post that seems to have been lost in the indignation:

"...Pre-emptive disclaimer - This will not apply to all nor should it."

"...No, i am not saying that these platitudes, when said by those that mean it, are baseless, wooden compliments."

"...and then there could be the simple explanation ... they truly mean it."

Thanks for the posts, although i was surprised anyone posted at all. Gripes tend to turn people off. *sheepish smile*

lara

 

[Shadowsdream]

I adore My 24/7 slave..he completes Me in ways many others have not. BUT he can be a big pain in the ass and when he is a pain in the ass I put a LOT of pain on his ass and W/we are both happy.

 

[MissTaken]

I adore My 24/7 slave..he completes Me in ways many others have not. BUT he can be a big pain in the ass and when he is a pain in the ass I put a LOT of pain on his ass and W/we are both happy.

This post is a wonderful mix of romance and reality!



Seriously, I sometimes have to remember when I am posting here that the common thread drawing us here is our kink, our translation of how to demonstrate love and affection and our perversions.

I post in the ideal sense when I am not involved with someone and I think for many, reading adn sharing here may be a way that they can think on their D/s relationships without the muck of everyday life interfering. Hence, maybe, they tend to look at their relationship in the magical sense when sharing, guiding and discussing.

And I could be wrong!

 

[Desdemona]

Perhaps, for some, it is an issue of respect. If there were an issue between Master and myself, we would work it out privately and it would not be posted on the boards for all to see. We are both human. There are disappointments and disagreements in all relationships. However, I love and respect Him like no one else on earth. Being His fills me with a sense of wonder and joy.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Can definately say for us we must often make those around us sick from all the sugar we spin, sometimes with looks alone, but in all honesty with as many and as varied an amount of relationships I have had in my 45 years, this is the only one to reach the depths of my soul in the way Master has. And yes, we have our off days, and difficulties, but through it all there is not one moment we question whether we belong together, nor one moment we wish we weren't. It is something not easy to describe as to know it you have to experience it in your own unique way...and then you know why so many others have been the way they have.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, this thread was magic...humour, romance, revealing truths, and honesty. Can't say my view has changed....there are good days, there are less than good days, but never is there a wish the other was back where they were before we met, nor a denial of the deep love we share through both the sublime and despair.

C http://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/b18.gif

 

[NCShin]

Dom/mes, Masters/Mistresses/Tops

1. "My one is so special to me ... he/she is a treasure."

2. "she/he serves me so well; i have found my true pet."

3. "So precious is my one ... i will adore her/him because they have made the ultimate sacrifice ... to give their control to Me."

I don't think that i've ever said any of these things...but thinking about it....

1. When I heard the words Earthquake and Tsunami I was frantic to find out who what when and where as I dialed 011-81 to get an international line to Japan.

2. When she's here, this statement is 100% true. I don't think any examples are needed. It's just what she does.

3. In March or April (think she just changed the dates on me) I'll go to Japan so her family can see her get married. Once the crazy amount of paperwork is done, she'll leave her family/friends/job/country/language and everything else she's ever known behind for one reason. Me.

So I guess I dont' see what is bad about all of this. Everyone will have thier own reasons for feeling what they do about the person that they feel it about.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Stepford Dom/mes and submissives/slaves

3. In March or April (think she just changed the dates on me) I'll go to Japan so her family can see her get married. Once the crazy amount of paperwork is done, she'll leave her family/friends/job/country/language and everything else she's ever known behind for one reason. Me.

So I guess I dont' see what is bad about all of this. Everyone will have thier own reasons for feeling what they do about the person that they feel it about.

....And from one who has made that move, it is not as light and easy as many assume it to be, especially when language is an added factor. It is not a grand gesture for show, but it is a symbol of how dedicated to the relationship and their one they are. It is a life changing event in more ways than one, but worth it.

Catalina

 

[chagrin]

While I see the point sometimes those sentiments aren't empty.

It took me more than a year to really accept and begin to get over my release and even now, just when I think I'm finally into calmer waters, sometimes the wave of hurt and bewilderment and confusion and grief rises again and swamps me.

I truy loved my ex with my body and soul, I would happily have died for him several times over; simply, that relationship was the most joy and the most pain I have ever known.

I don't know if I will ever feel that sort of connection and love again and, you know, I don't think I want to. I'm just not that much of a masochist to maybe go through such a loss again.

Enough of my reminiscing <laughs>

 

[FungiUg]

I don't really see this as a "BDSM" issue as such. Many couples go through what I see as a "gooey" phase. It's perfectly normal and healthy (and sickening for everyone around them, but hey.)

For my own relationships, I prefer them to be based on desire rather than need. I can survive and cope and progress in life quite well on my own. But having a partner and a companion makes life that much sweeter.

So I never feel like a partner or lover "completes" me, or "fulfils" me or any concept of that ilk. More that I have someone with whom I can share life and to love and to treasure. That's gotta be good!

 

[h_i_s]

i love serving and pleasing my Master. i'd never felt so at peace, valued, loved, & content with myself or another prior to being owned by Him. my Master is a phenominal, sweet and loving man ..... however .....

..... sometimes i don't *feel* like doing what He wants me to...
..... sometimes i am too tired...
..... sometimes i have other things besides what he suggests should be done that also *need* to be done which i feel MAY be of a higher priority...
..... sometimes i do not agree with Him...

& ...... In most cases, He is well aware of all of the 'sometimes', whether i wish for Him to be or not. Sometimes He takes my preferrences into account, sometimes He does not. Being His submissive is not all fun and games. Heck, there ARE times when i am feeling a teeny bit 'less than submissive'.

Regardless, as His real, 24/7 submissive ... He has the final say in everything. Obediance, trust, honor and respect are the main dynamics/base of our relationship. Regardless, i am here to serve & please Him. Regardless, i have vowed to obey at all times, and do.

i'm certain there are some who aren't able to truely visualize or imagine exactly how it is being a REAL 24/7 submissive in a *real* D/s relationship .... and .... this one knows.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

P.S. GREAT thread topic by the way ...

 

[Desdemona]

times change

I just read what I wrote over a year ago on this thread. At the time, that is exactly how I felt. In a relationship, you have ups and downs, disagreements, etc that you work out privately if you know what's good for you.

What has changed for me is this. I am complete within myself. I don't necessarily *need* someone else to complete me. However, I do *want* to be in a relationship. At the end of the day, it's good to have someone who cares about you and who is on your side against the big bad world. It's good to have someone to care about and to be on their side, too. It's better if you share common kinks and complete each other in the D/s, BDSM sense of things. That makes the relationship far more intense and satisfying IMHO.

My view of relationships is a bit less romantic than it was a while ago. I'm no longer sure I believe in forever. We'll see what time brings my way.

 

[shy slave]

Thinking ... thinking and finding myself with stick in hand to poke at an issue regarding expressions of adoration in the D/s context. Pre-emptive disclaimer - This will not apply to all nor should it.

Here are a few of the statements i've seen, but they all really tend to be the same:

submissive/slave (i start out with the bottom's simply because they tend to be more expressive in this way)

1. "He/She is the essence of my submissive soul and completes me in a way i have never felt before."

2. "He/She is all that i will ever need to be truly happy."

3. "i find joy in just serving Him/Her and that is enough to make me content."

4. "His/Her control is more than i ever hoped for and i would be lost without it."

Dom/mes, Masters/Mistresses/Tops

1. "My one is so special to me ... he/she is a treasure."

2. "she/he serves me so well; i have found my true pet."

3. "So precious is my one ... i will adore her/him because they have made the ultimate sacrifice ... to give their control to Me."

i've seen this and watched it float around the board quite a bit. The only problem i have with it is that the expressions seem to be coated in a candy-like veneer. No, i am not saying that these platitudes, when said by those that mean it, are baseless, wooden compliments. i'm saying that there are times when they seem not quite real. i don't know ... maybe those that say it are in the first blush stages of the relationship. Maybe some say it because they just got back together ... and then there could be the simple explanation ... they truly mean it.

Whatever the case may be, i am learning that D/s isn't pretty little bits of leather and pain. Not everything turns out all Cinderalla-like with me tied to a tree the day of my wedding with my new Dom/Husband taking us across a very different kind of threshold (Secretary reference).

i am also learning that not everyone fits into the neat and tidy boxes i first had in mind when venturing in this lifestyle. *shrugs* i guess my bottom line gripe is this - i like knowing when things are going well within your (general you) relationships ... hell, that makes me feel good in a 'vicarious living' sort of way, but it is cool to know that the real enters into your (again with the general you) lives and you find it not so fairy-tale oriented ... and like it just fine.

End gripe.

lara

Thanks Catalina for bumping this

It made me laugh out loud on a night when I have a stinking cold feel terrible and the kids are out partying

I am sure I have not said these things and at least not at the time lara posted this as I wasn't on the boards

breathes sigh of relief about that

I have days were I wonder what the hell I am doing and why I am doing it at all.
I have days when it is too much to be me never mind his slave.
I am constantly amazed at His ability to inflict pain, sometimes i want to serve Him right out a window whane He canes me...other times I love Him
Not candy infested love but a simple basic love suits us

 

[shy slave]

Re: times change

I just read what I wrote over a year ago on this thread. At the time, that is exactly how I felt. In a relationship, you have ups and downs, disagreements, etc that you work out privately if you know what's good for you.

What has changed for me is this. I am complete within myself. I don't necessarily *need* someone else to complete me. However, I do *want* to be in a relationship. At the end of the day, it's good to have someone who cares about you and who is on your side against the big bad world. It's good to have someone to care about and to be on their side, too. It's better if you share common kinks and complete each other in the D/s, BDSM sense of things. That makes the relationship far more intense and satisfying IMHO.

My view of relationships is a bit less romantic than it was a while ago. I'm no longer sure I believe in forever. We'll see what time brings my way.

Glad to hear your ok {{{Hugs}}}

How can anyone believe in forever?

There is a quote somewhere that says 'the only constant thing in life is change'
Damn who said that

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... sometimes with looks alone ...

This one phrase stuck out for me. i'm sorry, but if you (general populace) have a problem with how one looks at another, the human field of view registers on average approximately 200 degrees of a circle. Of that, only about a 90 degree arc sees detail, and of that only 30 degrees registers smiles, googoo eyes, kissy lips, whatever one would call sugar looks. If you have a problem seeing such things, turn your fat head in another direction, or better yet, pay attention to the person you're with instead of staring at a couple ... ooo, will he say it? ... in love.

 

[shy slave]

... ooo, will he say it? ... in love.

*fai nts*