Southerners

[EmpressFi]

Well I am happy to be from Kentucky....Not ashamed of it..

The connotations are stupid and could apply to any state out there!

Sorry.. not really intending to "offend". However growing up in Ironton, Ohio, Kentucky jokes are like breathing to me. It's one of those things where, I get upset if someone else picks on rednecks/appalachia/hillbillies, but I have no problem doing it myself.

Good thing I didnt post the joke about, "Didja hear about the Kentuckian who drowned in the Ohio river over the weekend? He tried to build a basement in his houseboat"

You had better watch it there, chic. I know where you were born and it ain't much better if not worse.

*grin* at least you understand me Darlin and knew it was a joke (well you and Bunny)

 

[KayKat]

Sorry.. not really intending to "offend". However growing up in Ironton, Ohio, Kentucky jokes are like breathing to me. It's one of those things where, I get upset if someone else picks on rednecks/appalachia/hillbillies, but I have no problem doing it myself.

Good thing I didnt post the joke about, "Didja hear about the Kentuckian who drowned in the Ohio river over the weekend? He tried to build a basement in his houseboat"



*grin* at least you understand me Darlin and knew it was a joke (well you and Bunny)

I figured it may be a joke and sorry I didn't take it as such but I get so sick of hearing and reading that crap from time to time!! I can take jokes but PLEASE do not roll your eyes at me!

 

[Breaker_Morant]

*big grin*

My brother, his wife, and I used to sit around and go through his "book" and count the things we'd done or said. It was funny because when it came to, "If you've ever been too drunk to fish...you might be a redneck.", my sister-in-law said, "Shoot.. you caint be too drunk to feesh"

I have a 1st edition and my first wife said the same - it was sad she knew people who exemplified some of those.. especially the one where "YMBARN if your mother can tell the state trooper to kiss her ass without taking the Marlboro from her mouth"

My personal favorite is "YMBARN if you hear the words "ho down" and your g/f hits the deck"

 

[EmpressFi]

I have a 1st edition and my first wife sad the same - it was sad she knew people who exemplified some of those.. especially the one where "YMBARN if your mother can tell the state trooper to kiss her ass without taking the Marlboro from her mouth"

My personal favorite is "YMBARN if you hear the words "ho down" and your g/f hits the deck"

I dont remember either those.. I LOVED his description of the first apartment... because it was my brother's apartment down to the big wooden spool!

 

[Breaker_Morant]

Sorry.. not really intending to "offend". However growing up in Ironton, Ohio, Kentucky jokes are like breathing to me. It's one of those things where, I get upset if someone else picks on rednecks/appalachia/hillbillies, but I have no problem doing it myself.

Good thing I didnt post the joke about, "Didja hear about the Kentuckian who drowned in the Ohio river over the weekend? He tried to build a basement in his houseboat"

What do you call a beautiful woman in Ohio? A visitor.

*grin* at least you understand me Darlin and knew it was a joke (well you and Bunny)

I know you wouldn't diss me on purpose.

 

[EmpressFi]

What do you call a beautiful woman in Ohio? A visitor.


I know you wouldn't diss me on purpose.

HEHE I love that joke!! may I use it when I move back??

 

[Breaker_Morant]

HEHE I love that joke!! may I use it when I move back??

Yup - be my guest.

 

[BiBunny]

I figured it may be a joke and sorry I didn't take it as such but I get so sick of hearing and reading that crap from time to time!! I can take jokes but PLEASE do not roll your eyes at me!

Cry me a river. I live in Alabama. We're the butt of every joke imaginable. If I can take a redneck joke or twelve, everybody ought to be able to.

Besides, I'm proud of who I am. Like Alan Jackson says, "It's all right to be a redneck. It's all right to drive around in a dirty ol' truck." And my F-150 sitting outside my apartment is dirty as hell right now.

 

[KayKat]

Cry me a river. I live in Alabama. We're the butt of every joke imaginable. If I can take a redneck joke or twelve, everybody ought to be able to.

Besides, I'm proud of who I am. Like Alan Jackson says, "It's all right to be a redneck. It's all right to drive around in a dirty ol' truck." And my F-150 sitting outside my apartment is dirty as hell right now.

Bunny I respect and like you...

I am just proud of where I am from.

Having a bad night so I took it the wrong way....

 

[ero_dream]

http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/COLORED/SHE-SAID_RK.gif

 

[unfoundiamond]

Yeehaw Bitches!

Yeah this diamond comes from the south.

Born and bread southern rebel, ethnicly (sp?) im german and spanish... but being born and raised here, im pure american anixst...

Phonic spelling is allowed where im from, lol, if you're buying the beer you can spell however you want.

 

[WriterDom]

I agree with you completely...although I loved my time in Columbia, Clemson has a gorgeous and picturesque campus, far better than USC. It's not a bad school, despite my obvious distaste for anything Tater...the nightlife leaves a bit to be desired though.

So we are talking Clemson nightlife Vs Columbia? You might win on quantity but what about quality? I'll shut up. I'd eat a cock or a tiger. female cock that is.

 

[Sharon_]

Sorry.. not really intending to "offend". However growing up in Ironton, Ohio, Kentucky jokes are like breathing to me.

<laughing>

I'm not that far south of Cincy and ~I~ understand perfectly, tho' it's likely a curious thang to outsiders, but it's (mostly) done in the spirit of friendly competitiveness and, as you say, as natural as breathing.

We cap on the Buckeyes, the Hoosiers cap on the Buckeyes...feh, even the West Virginians cap on the Buckeyes.

However, given they nymed themselves after a poisonous NUT, the Buckeyes have no standing to cap on any of ~us~

Whenever I would be driving home from SW-Virginia, I was always glad to see Ironton cuz it meant I was almost back in Eden. I've heard Virginia called "God's Country". John Denver labeled West Virginia as "almost heaven".

"Almost", cuz it's adjacent to Kentucky

"Lewis Craig, a Virginia minister, frustrated in an attempt to describe heaven in a sermon, reportedly exclaimed "It is a mere Kentucky of a place," and one of the possible origins of the word "Kentucky" is a Wyandot word meaning "land of tomorrow."
http://www.poets.org/state.php/varState/KY

It's one of those things where, I get upset if someone else picks on rednecks/appalachia/hillbillies, but I have no problem doing it myself.

Say your piece in sticking up for us, but please don't get upset. Water off a duck's back. Clearly they're speaking from a position of ignorance, lacking knowledge of the diversity, the culture and American history.

*snurf*
Someone on the GB a while back made a comment about hillbillies being a bunch of racists, ignorantly assuming all hillbillies are Caucasian. Fer gawd's sake, not only do we have black hillbillies, but red, white and even ~blue~ ones.

Too funny.

 

[BiBunny]

So the Ohio/Kentucky thing is like the Alabama/Mississippi thing, then? You know, the unofficial state motto here is "Thank God for Mississippi."

'Cause they keep us from looking so bad.

 

[WriterDom]

I've never seen a blue hillbilly.

 

[Sharon_]

I've never seen a blue hillbilly.

http://www.nclark.net/BluePeopleofTroublesomeCreek.html

 

[WriterDom]

Now I have

 

[CurlyKat]

This thread makes me a little homesick. I'd kill to hear a southern accent right about now.

 

[Sharon_]

So the Ohio/Kentucky thing is like the Alabama/Mississippi thing, then? You know, the unofficial state motto here is "Thank God for Mississippi."

'Cause they keep us from looking so bad.

Aw...that sounds like an auto-slam. Be PROUD of your southerness. I've heard good things about Alabama.

I posted this on the GB, that ended up torqueing off a lot of Yankees, but I don't care cuz I think it's funny. Dunno where it came from originally:

Southern Tourism Bureau Notice to all visiting Northerners
And Northeastern Urbanites:

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever -- it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass-kicking.


4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.


7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended -- with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbeque, and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your ass!

 

[WriterDom]

Aw...that sounds like an auto-slam. Be PROUD of your southerness. I've heard good things about Alabama.

I posted this on the GB, that ended up torqueing off a lot of Yankees, but I don't care cuz I think it's funny. Dunno where it came from originally:

Southern Tourism Bureau Notice to all visiting Northerners
And Northeastern Urbanites:

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever -- it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass-kicking.


4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.


7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended -- with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbeque, and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your ass!

It's funny how much of that is true. But if I order a Coke and you give me a Pepsi, I'm kicking your ass.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Yeah this diamond comes from the south.

Born and bread southern rebel, ethnicly (sp?) im german and spanish... but being born and raised here, im pure american anixst...

Phonic spelling is allowed where im from, lol, if you're buying the beer you can spell however you want.

Slides her a beer and says howdy.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

This thread makes me a little homesick. I'd kill to hear a southern accent right about now.

My voice is available for small nominal fee of cookies at Christmas. Oatmeal please. lol

 

[CurlyKat]

My voice is available for small nominal fee of cookies at Christmas. Oatmeal please. lol

It just so happens I make some pretty mean oatmeal raisin cookies (my chocolate chip are better, but hey, I can change it up!), or maybe some oatmeal chocolate chip?

 

[KayKat]

It's funny how much of that is true. But if I order a Coke and you give me a Pepsi, I'm kicking your ass.

LOL WD..Same thing here..if I ordered a Coke it better damn well be a Coke

 

[Snoozebutton2]

It just so happens I make some pretty mean oatmeal raisin cookies (my chocolate chip are better, but hey, I can change it up!), or maybe some oatmeal chocolate chip?

I'm in !!!!!!!