Sometimes all it takes... (Let's talk about character)

[LadyG]

For as much as your 100% right, it won't happen. But we could try

 

[sunstruck]

Glam, those words sounded perfect to me. lol I don't think anything can be done. It's over. I just wanted to understand Ginny better because I do like her.

 

[Jewelz]

.

 

[Rambrat]

Such profound words, my friend. I so agree.

Hiya jewelz!!!

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Rambrat]

Just one last thought...if you expect someone else to apologize for their actions, then you should also be ready to apologize for your own.

It is interesting to note that certain people in this thread who are asking for apologies have also been guilty of some pretty nasty comments directed at several members of this board in the past two to three weeks.

It is fine and dandy to ask for apologies...but you must be ready to walk the walk...not just talk the talk. Maybe we should all go back and read over our own posts in the past few weeks and take note of who we have each insulted in a direct, nasty manner. Once you have called yourself on the carpet and made sincere apologies to those you have offended...then you may ask for apologies from others.

Just a thought.

okay...I'm sorry i sold your pictures on e-bay...

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Rambrat]

Hell...just send me half the proceeds and I will forgive you.

don't be angry when the foreigners come for you...

I sort of sold you too...

 

[Rhys]

I find myself agreeing with Morgaine here. From my own personal experience, there becomes a point in time where a sincere apology won't help the situation. You have no real way to know whether the apology is sincere or not anyway. You could choose to accept it and go on, or not accept it and go on and in the end, it really doesn't matter. The damage is done. Its irretrievable and something precious like trust and friendship has been completely lost. It hurts like hell. The only thing that can be done is to forget it. Let it go. That, in and of itself, is difficult to do. This has built into a cataclysm of trememdous anger, that is far beyond the original hurt. Everything said and not said feeds it, until it has surpassed the original outburst and become some triple headed monster, and every seething bit of animosity comes rolling out like a freight train. From my personal experience, (and thats all I can speak from on this particular situation) it snowballs into something dark, twisted and ugly...until everything you ever disliked about that person is discussed in minutiae. You can hash it over and over and over and the end result is the same. You hurt. Only time really resolves the situation. I see that. I am working to that end. Time brings acceptance of the situation because we can't change people to fit that which conforms to our "image" of who we would like them to be. Time will heal this situation too. Let it go, its all you can do.

 

[sunstruck]

The damage is done. Its irretrievable and something precious like trust and friendship has been completely lost.

Sometimes these things can be rebuilt. If those involved want it to.

 

[lavender]

 

[Rhys]

Time and maturity Lavender...time and maturity. Thats all it takes.

 

[sunstruck]

Time and maturity Lavender...time and maturity. Thats all it takes.

So dancing in a circle around someone singing "nanny nanny boo boo you were wrooong" wouldn't be helpful?

 

[tortoise]

http://www.drewhanson.com/images/picpage/repentguy99.jpg

 

[Ginny]

<giggling>

have i told you lately that i love you?

 

[lovetoread]

So dancing in a circle around someone singing "nanny nanny boo boo you were wrooong" wouldn't be helpful?

Apparently not.

But one point that Ginny made is true.

It depends on who you are and what you did, when it comes to jumping on the bandwagon.

If someone lowly, like me, was to have clicked this "not malicious or harmful link" and had my computer messed up, no one would give a rats ass, and that is cool. I'm aware that this is the internet.

Its all in who you are that matters.


But all this tis only my opinion.

 

[sunstruck]

I would! We seriously need to work on your self esteem Tinkles. You are fun and sweet and I consider you a Lit friend true and blue.

If someone messed up your pc they'd have me to deal with.

 

[Guest]

Is a simple... "I'm Sorry."

That's what all this bruhaha - this yelling and accusing and debate is about.

Not so much what someone does - but about taking responsibility for one's own actions.

That's how people are "judged" - in real life and here online. By their Character.

Indigo.rose's "prank" sucked big time. Who knows (other than her) if her original intention was to cause harm or if she genuinely thought it was funny and harmless. That is no longer the point. Not at all.

The point is how we deal with other people and how we account for ourselves and our actions. What she did caused quite a few people varying degrees of problems and pain from simple annoyance to real computer problems. (And please - I'm not going to get into arguments here about the technical details of what happened - that too, is besides the point).

So... in real life - if you are the cause of someone else's pain (whether intentionally or unintentionally) - do you apologize? Sincerely? I know I do. I know anyone that I would consider to be a friend would do so.

Its the same here. Exactly the same. All that was needed here was a SINCERE apology and that would have been the end of it.

And this should be the end of it. We've seen this type of behavior here before. People who get off on other people's misery. People who use words to hurt. People who's actions, or lack thereof, cause hurt.

These people do not deserve our respect or our time. Its our choice. I choose to deal with them the same way I do with such people in real life - I avoid them as best I can. I make sure they are not part of my life and I don't spend too much time dwelling on them. Who the fuck needs that type of angst? I've got much better things to do with my time.

I posted my warning thread about Indigo.rose's link as a sort of "public service" - to hopefully keep people from following that link and having problems. I didn't start the thread to begin a week long debate about exactly how much of an asshole she is. I think most of us agree she's an asshole - the exact degree of assholeness is pretty moot.

The point here is she did something fucked up. She should have said she was sorry. She didn't. She then went on to compound things with continued posts that show she is not the kind of person I, or most of us here, would care to interact with.

Lesson learned. She joins the ranks of the yayati's and kidrock's of the world. Now we know.

you need to read her apology to Siren

 

[Guest]

Dear Siren,

I don't know your real name so I will just call you Siren.

I talked to Marxist on the phone last night, we talked about this link situation and with his help I have come to a few conclusions.

To start with, I want to make sure you realize, I most definately did not know that this prank would cause your computer any harm, and I did not know it would cause such a negative uproar either. I sent the same link to dozens of people that I know personally, none of them had a problem with the computer, the link is designed to cause a neccesary reboot at the very worst. Before I gave the link to any one else, I fell for it as well, and immediately after I did fall for it I took apart the file it leaves and looked for malicious code. When I discovered there was none I felt a lot better about it and thought it was humorous. That's when I decided it needed to be sent out. I even opened it a second time to check the code for any possibilities that it might cause harm in other ways by causing a dominoe effect on certain machines, honestly I did come to the conclusion that it wouldn't do so. After that check I posted it on Lit. There were a few reasons why I did, mainly I thought the link was harmless and humorous, secondly I figured it would go over much better since bob bytchin had the exact same file in his sig line for ages and got nothing but funny comments about it, the only thing different in his was there was no sound. Other than that, his sent the same file which also had no malicious code. Third, Lavender's sig line demonstration the other day annoyed the hell out of me, I thought it was childish and rude to pick on people who chose to put things in their sig line, so I took out my original sig line and added this link, sort of a way to say " Well you whined and bitched about the other sig line, so here is what you get for all that whining, enjoy". Also, admittedly it was kind of a big ol' fuck you to the people at the GB who PM me constantly under unregisered and call me names, to people like you who judged me on my social persona rather than my real life persona, people who called me names and wished hurtful things on me, and were generally rude, to me the link was humorous and at that point I thought completely harmless, so it was like a funny way of saying fuck you.

What the Heretic guy posted after reviewing the code does make some sense, while I don't have as many years experience with crashing computers on purpose as he does, nor do I know as many code lanuages as he does, I assure you I honestly looked through the coding twice and I did not think about the minute chance of something like what happened to you as he did. I am not sure if what he brought to my attention did in fact happen to you, I don't know what OS you are running, how old your computer is or what was already fucked up to begin with, but after reading and researching his posts, I now know that IF the factors were all right, what he said could very well happen, though the chance of it is still incredibly small. Stranger things have happened though.

You in particular have been quite judgmental and rude to me in the past, you have in fact hurt my feelings with your words and acusations, jumping to conclusions and posting holier than thow material at me. Other people have been just as rude but you really bothered me, admittedly. That is why I took such great joy in your computer being the only one to become screwy as a result of what I thought was a perfectly harmless link. I had even told a few people that the irony of you being the one person I couldn't stand the most on the GB and your computer being some how the only one so drastically affected was rather joyful at the time.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that you did a good job in annoying me and hurting my feelings, it's more likely just a case of you not having a clue what is going on in my life right now and picking the exact worst times to bring me down further, but this letter isn't about me, it's about you. The point is, I am a better person than that, and while at the time my pride did not allow me to admit it because of the way you had treated me in the past and becauase of my knowledge at the time that the link was in fact harmless, I now realize it was wrong for me to take pleasure in your suffering. On the larger scale of things, your offences towards me could have been worse and there are more people in the world who do in fact deserve to suffer.

With that, I am sorry for taking your misfortunes and smiling about them, that was wrong and it shows that I am something and some one that I am not. I am also sorry that your computer is not happy currently, though I really want you to understand that I honestly did believe the link was completely harmless to all machines in the first place. Still I am not certain what happened in your case, as I stated before, but if you truly believe that clicking on that link caused your problems and I can't prove otherwise then I have no choice but to believe you and apologize for any harm that has come to your computer as a result.

I've done this privately because I don't think other people need to be a witness, as long as I have apologized to the party in question, I feel better about myself, however if you feel the need to gain something publicly I will post this letter on the GB as well. Just say the word.

I may not like you, or other people in the GB, but what I have done and said to you is wrong in my books, and while I claimed to enjoy it at the time, I was worried about the damages and what might need to be done to repair it, as well as embarrassed when the Heretic posted his findings and I realized that there was a small window that I had overlooked. When I apologized to the other people who were offended, I did mean it, whether they want to take it that way or not, I didn't neccessarily agree with how they were reacting and because of such hostility over a prank I truly thought people would find just as funny as I did, I found myself becoming more and more defensive, and that defence is what they picked up on, not my true emotions about the whole subject. I honestly wish I had not posted the original link as of now, not becuase I really think it was such a terrible thing, except in your case, but because the general uproar it has caused is not only counterproductive but demeaning and classless as well. Also the upraor and the feelings people are having as a result towards Laurel and Manu are not right, they did nothing wrong and don't deserve their site to be filled with hate and misstrust.

Honestly, had I foreseen any of this happening I would not have posted the link in the first place, but what is done is done. I don't really care if you don't like me, you have made it painfully obvious that you don't and have no intentions to try, same with many others, and that's fine, I am a big girl and I can deal with flame wars on my own and in my own way. In your case however, an apology is deserved because I singled you out and laughed at your pain and suffering, whether you deserved it or not, it was not my place to dictate that fact.

I also want you to know the writing of this letter was not brought on by the new apology thread in the GB, nor was it brought on by threats of legal action, as I never thought you had a case to begin with. Marxist and I talked on the phone last night and I agreed that while there are other factors in my favour at stake here, the fact is whether I want to believe it or not, stooping to the level I did was wrong and uncalled for, I should have sincerely apologized and kept my feelings about you to myself, that would have been the mature thing to do. So anyways, better late than never.

If you need tech support with your computer, I am not very good at explaining what I know without seeing the machine, but Vixenshe's boyfriend is a tech support guy and is quite good with explaining what he knows, he will help you or advise you if you like, also I believe the Heretic has offered his assistance as well. I do hope your computer gets sorted out soon, and that everything is alright with it. Again, I am sorry this link caused unforseen damages to it and I am sorry that I delighted in the irony of the situation when I should have been more mature.

Have a nice day.

Winter
(Indigo.Rose)

 

[Ginny]

I just wanted to understand Ginny better because I do like her.

full understanding might really scare you.....

 

[Guest]

 

[Ginny]

your apology was cool, Indigo....just enjoy yourself.....be yourself......have fun!

 

[RawHumor]

But one point that Ginny made is true.

It depends on who you are and what you did, when it comes to jumping on the bandwagon.

If someone lowly, like me, was to have clicked this "not malicious or harmful link" and had my computer messed up, no one would give a rats ass, and that is cool. I'm aware that this is the internet.

I take issue with that statement.

I hate infinite pop-ups almost as much as I hate virii. If it also changed her default home page to the infinite pop-up page, then I'd have called her a whole slew of bad names. I'd have been angry about it whether someone's computer crashed or not. It wouldn't have mattered whose computer that is.

But she apologized, so as long as there are no repeat performances, this issue is dead to me.

Oh, and I'm your #1 fan.

 

[Dillinger]

Thank you for the apology, Indigo...

 

[Rambrat]

Apparently not.

But one point that Ginny made is true.

It depends on who you are and what you did, when it comes to jumping on the bandwagon.

If someone lowly, like me, was to have clicked this "not malicious or harmful link" and had my computer messed up, no one would give a rats ass, and that is cool. I'm aware that this is the internet.

Its all in who you are that matters.


But all this tis only my opinion.

nothing lowly about you hon...