Sometimes all it takes... (Let's talk about character)

[Dillinger]

Is a simple... "I'm Sorry."

That's what all this bruhaha - this yelling and accusing and debate is about.

Not so much what someone does - but about taking responsibility for one's own actions.

That's how people are "judged" - in real life and here online. By their Character.

Indigo.rose's "prank" sucked big time. Who knows (other than her) if her original intention was to cause harm or if she genuinely thought it was funny and harmless. That is no longer the point. Not at all.

The point is how we deal with other people and how we account for ourselves and our actions. What she did caused quite a few people varying degrees of problems and pain from simple annoyance to real computer problems. (And please - I'm not going to get into arguments here about the technical details of what happened - that too, is besides the point).

So... in real life - if you are the cause of someone else's pain (whether intentionally or unintentionally) - do you apologize? Sincerely? I know I do. I know anyone that I would consider to be a friend would do so.

Its the same here. Exactly the same. All that was needed here was a SINCERE apology and that would have been the end of it.

And this should be the end of it. We've seen this type of behavior here before. People who get off on other people's misery. People who use words to hurt. People who's actions, or lack thereof, cause hurt.

These people do not deserve our respect or our time. Its our choice. I choose to deal with them the same way I do with such people in real life - I avoid them as best I can. I make sure they are not part of my life and I don't spend too much time dwelling on them. Who the fuck needs that type of angst? I've got much better things to do with my time.

I posted my warning thread about Indigo.rose's link as a sort of "public service" - to hopefully keep people from following that link and having problems. I didn't start the thread to begin a week long debate about exactly how much of an asshole she is. I think most of us agree she's an asshole - the exact degree of assholeness is pretty moot.

The point here is she did something fucked up. She should have said she was sorry. She didn't. She then went on to compound things with continued posts that show she is not the kind of person I, or most of us here, would care to interact with.

Lesson learned. She joins the ranks of the yayati's and kidrock's of the world. Now we know.

 

[bad kitty]

Dilly, you make me wet.

 

[RawHumor]

Dilly, you make me wet.

I was just about to offer to suck him off, but I'm no competition for the likes of you, pretty lady.

 

[Kitte]

In the case of IR I would say a heart felt Im sorry would do. In RL when someone hurts you sometimes Im sorry just doesnt seem enough. But then again you said a sincere apology, didnt you?Very rarely do I see them.

Im sorry seems to slip out of most peoples mouths out of habit rather then any real remorse.

 

[SweetCherry]

I find myself apologizing for things that are even out of my control, even tho it's not my fault. Im more than willing accept my responsibility for things I've done to hurt anyone. I've done quite a bit of it the past few weeks, I think.

 

[Freya]

The difference between a sincere apology and a fake, unmeaning one is blatantly obvious, whether in real life or on here.. I fI hurt a friend, or even someone I didn't know, they would get a sincere apology from me. To delight in the misfortunes of others makes you about as low as snail slime to me. The sad fact is that some people just don't care if they are snail slime, rather they delight in the idea that they've harmed someone who has offended themsomehow, and every reaction to it just makes them that much more gleeful.

 

[SINthysist]

And yet, Dillinger, you compound the problem...

 

[sexy-girl]

well said dilly ... some people just seemed unable to get this point ... i tried to make it too

 

[A Desert Rose]

Nice words and all but

those who should apologize never will. That would indicate some kind of moral fiber, something that is lacking in those who should be sincerely sorry.

Instead, they engage in a piling on mentality. As many as are available gang up and bully another. This kind of event surely shows people for what they really are.

 

[ClubIrish]

Sometimes it takes more than a simple 'I'm sorry' to fix things.

 

[Lancecastor]

I make it my policy to apologize for harming others IRL.

An anonymous internet pron board is not quite the same as IRL, but I try to conduct myself as in IRL. Direct, factual, fun and without malice.

If IR is sorry, she should apologize.

If she isn't she shouldn't.

If people want to judge her "character" by this episode, they should.

If people want to be less than B&W and look at people in a more holistic light, they should.

My personal view is that I find judgmentalism to be far more dangerous and evidenciary of poor character than agreeing to disagree.

I've read some highly inappropriate words in these threads that I found far more insulting than IR's link trick.

Lance

 

[Ginny]

you know Dillinger, i've grown to respect your mind, your humor and your whale cock....but i have to disagree with you that all it would have taken was a sincere apology for the panties in a bunch gang to lay off Indigo....Indigo typing out, "I had no idea this would happen. I'm sincerely sorry. Please forgive me."....would probably not have been greeted with any amount of respect, acceptance.....her deed would have been done and the "asshole" "cunt" slewing probably would have continued on....

perfect example of this is the Racism ordeal with On The Verge and tortoise.....tortoise's Monty Pyton "I Like Chinese" was an innocent post not intended to cause harm.....once he realized it had hurt someone he immediately apologized....and was still called names and labeled racist, etc.....some of the same folks participating in the Indigo lynching participated in that one.....they get off on this stuff.....and it's not a matter of sincerity and the Lit battlecry: "protecting the community".....it's the opportunity to pull the self-righteous act selectively......no one gets what turtle got over the Monty Python song.....even if they use the word "nigger" or "chink" in their racist post.....some folks just have to jump on the slam wagon of someone "safe" to bombard with insults blindly and i think.....'cause they enjoy it.....(thread reference "Racism and Ignorance on Lit" http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=71928&highlight=cockshit)

this board gets off on labeling anyone an ASSHOLE that walks in here with their own attitude.....joins as an adult.....not expecting to have to be "hazed" or have to kiss ass.....but just jumps in participating in threads.....voicing their opinions.....being silly.....not knowing whose toes they may step not following the "rules"........and most of all.....the part that really slays some....not caring.....

you stop by an internet PORN site.....stumble upon a bulletin board with folks talking about all sorts of stuff.....you don't suddenly become some "follower" that has to wait to be spoken to....or only post in agreement.....or follow unspoken "community" rules....

the whole "you will be ostracized here" "no one likes you" routine is laughable.....this is a public board with zillions of posters....we all have people we click with.....enjoy posting with....tortoise and i had lots of comments made like that about us and we're still around.....actually even have a few friends here..... most of them some of the nicest people on the site (we like to think ).....imagine that, huh?.....those cries of cymbidia's that we would never be welcome here....never be part of the "community" were wrong....

as i posted in the "Gay Porn Is Wrong" thread.....what has transpired since the Indigo prank (by calling it a prank i don't mean to trivialize the damage done)....is far more offensive to me than the result of her link....all the absolute "she's an asshole" posts.....this board thrives on Assholes.....loves them....i've seen far worse perpetrated by "respected" members of this board to other folks than anything a newbie or troll has tossed out....

and another thing......you call someone an asshole before they can even apologize and then expect them not to get defensive?......not to laugh at you?.....there was hardly a window of time before the damage was noted and the onslaught began.....she is then classified as a bigger asshole because of her response to it all......you (i'm not meaning you as in Dillinger) continue to poke at her.....let the insults escalate.....and then judge her response.....use her response as your "proof" that she is an asshole.....<shaking head>

i don't know Indigo.....she has posted some stuff on a few of my nasty threads......just funny, nasty stuff.....i've read other stuff of hers.....she did kinda just blast her way in here.....that never bothers me.....it's kinda fun actually to see someone having fun.......new blood.....new attitude.....Indigo's smart and funny, fun bitchy attitude going.......and from reading her posts since the link fiasco......i just see someone who thought the link would be funny.....didn't anticipate the damage or uproar.....and then after the RESPONSE TO HER.....the attitude with which stuff was posted to her......she just tossed it back at posters.....human nature as far as i can tell....might not be how you'd handle it......or i'd handle it.....but she's a fiesty thang with an independent mind.....i respect her for that.....more than i respect some of the folks so mad at her.......'cause i've seen them just be fucking mean without anyone doing anything to them......

she made a mistake....most folks around this place have made mis-posts or been wrong about something....there are consequences of course.....but c'mon....

how's that for a ramble?....all that just to say........."umm....i don't think a sincere apology would have prevented Indigo from being labeled as she has been"........i'm not the most articulate cookie in the cookie jar....but i have a hot ass......<nodding>



and one other thang before i stop my poor two flying fingers.....had the people affected by this link.....been.....let's say......Todd-O-Vision, PacificBlue, LordLoocan and me.....would the outrage have been as intense?.....nahh.....i'm betting the same crowd so angry at Indigo now.....would be posting......"you fucking idiot, you should know better than to click a link like that"...."it's your own fault" etc.......just a lil theory of mine......of course.......

 

[sunstruck]

Just a question, but if you shouldn't judge a person by their actions and words, how exactly are you supposed to judge them?

And don't say "judging is bad m'kay" because everyone judges. EVERYONE. You meet a person in real life or elsewhere and you form an opinion of them. That's making a judgement.

So what should you base it on if not actions and words?

Ginny, I seriously disagree with you here. What happend with Tortoise and the lyrics wasn't the same at all. You're right, some people will refuse to accept even a sincere apology, but others weren't even given that option. She laughed when people were upset by the link. She thought it was funny that people were embarassed in front of family and coworkers and thought it hysterical that people had to shut down their computers loosing work in order to stop the pop ups. She thought that was funny. I didn't think you would.

 

[DdysAngelFace]

I may be sticking my nose where it doesn't belong but it sure wouldn't be the first time.

We all make errors in life, accepting it as a fault of someone is making judgment and I can't do that.

My friends, and I make mistakes be them a joke gone bad, or a joke told wrong (I always manage to tell those blonde jokes at the wrong moments) but it doesn't make me a bad person.

Forgiving and indiscretion is part of being compassionate, some have it and some don't. But to publicly blast on another is it not as bad as the original offense? I really don't know the answer here but the adult thing to do would be to discuss it privately amongst the people involved.. and then and only then do I think any apologies will be given.

On a second hand note, I come here to get away from the BS arguing of my teenagers and seriously did not think I would find the same type of behavior on the boards. Life is a funny thing, so it is best to smile and nod as if understanding when you have no damn clue what else to do.

 

[Rambrat]

This is real life in that we interact with people who display an emotional response. We should give the same amount of respect to the people here as we do in real life... at least the ones we care to get to know.





Even a character portrayed shows signs of what lies beneath the mask.

 

[Ginny]

She laughed when people were upset by the link. She thought it was funny that people were embarassed in front of family and coworkers and thought it hysterical that people had to shut down their computers loosing work in order to stop the pop ups. She thought that was funny. I didn't think you would.

I clarified this on Marxist's thread......i thought it was funny Texan experienced what he did.....i consider him a nutcase....i don't like the man.....the situation HE found himself in amused me....not Dillinger's......not Siren's.......as i said on that other thread.....i don't have to feel this blanket outrage toward the Indigo link drama.....like i'm amoral for not just being disgusted by it all....

and if you took the posts Texan has made about me......and let's say inserted your name and Raw's as the members he was theorizing about......i hardly think after you had experienced Texan's paranoia firsthand......you wouldn't find it amusing as well.....

 

[LadyG]

Ginny

Your posts did not cause damage to anyone's computer, no matter how much she tries to deny it, it did.

You didn't compound the issue by saying "I'm sorry to everyone but XXXX, they deserved it because they were mean to me".

Your posts, while nasty, to use your words, are just posts/pictures, with no lasting effect. They didn't yell out words, they didn't cause computers to crash, etc.

Therein lies the difference.

Her whole attitude has been one of "Fuck you" since it happened, and she left the link up even after it had been pointed out.

There's a difference between, say, a pie in the face, if you will, than what she did and opinions won't change.

You know there's something up when you've got Marxist, Lancecastor and KID ROCK1 defending her actions. That alone should be enough to raise a red flag.

 

[bad kitty]

And again, a thread loses the main point. It isn't about the link anymore really, it is about how she has conducted herself afterwards.

 

[sunstruck]

i don't have to feel this blanket outrage toward the Indigo link drama.....like i'm amoral for not just being disgusted by it all....

and if you took the posts Texan has made about me......and let's say inserted your name and Raw's as the members he was theorizing about......i hardly think after you had experienced Texan's paranoia firsthand......you wouldn't find it amusing as well.....

I don't think you're amoral Ginny. You know I like you and Tortoise both and I totally disagreed with what Texan did in reguards to the two of you. He knows that too. Texan and I bump heads fairly often, though we now do it respectfully and politely, and I'm not defending him. I was just confused by the idea that you were defending what IR did.

Now I see that you weren't defending anything but making another point altogether, a point I don't necessarily disagree with.

 

[Lancecastor]

I share Ginny's views entirely in her posts here about what transpired.

IR's joke was a slippery one.

I don't find those kind of links funny when I click on one.

But the way people have reacted is far more mean-spirited in my view.

Texan's response was funny to me.....slipping in for some quiet Lit poontang before going to church. Priceless.

Siren's response was predictable and also funny. Fauz moral outrage, lawsuits, FBI. What a maroon. She does that like what, every three weeks or so?

Indigo Rose likely won't apologize, just like you refuse to apologize to me, Sunstruck.

Go get a mirror before you jump on the pigfucking pile.

I don't think you're amoral Ginny. You know I like you and Tortoise both and I totally disagreed with what Texan did in reguards to the two of you. He knows that too. Texan and I bump heads fairly often, though we now do it respectfully and politely, and I'm not defending him. I was just confused by the idea that you were defending what IR did.

Now I see that you weren't defending anything but making another point altogether, a point I don't necessarily disagree with.

 

[tortoise]

how's that for a ramble?....all that just to say........."umm....i don't think a sincere apology would have prevented Indigo from being labeled as she has been"........i'm not the most articulate cookie in the cookie jar....but i have a hot ass......<nodding>

LOL

Have I told you lately that I love you?

M

 

[sunstruck]

.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Sometimes, you just really have to know when it's all worth it.

Is any of this really getting anyone, anywhere???

Voice yourself...say what you have to say, for yourself. And let it go.

 

[glamorilla]

Sun:i don't know if i can put this into words. i started thinking indigo smelled funny around the time you were butting heads with her. she was just too new and too flattering with me to lead me to believe she had anything but an ulterior motive. i hated seeing you upset but you're fun when you're pissed off.

she may have been the catalyst but more than one person exposed themselves here~and not in a good way.

what solution do you have in mind to make everyone feel better and put this away where it belongs? there's nothing that can be done about it and the healthiest thing to do is for the people that had thier computers damaged is to repair it as quickly as possible and move on. staying angry over this will cause more harm in the long run.

if it makes anybody feel better indigo really is the loser here.