I am Mark
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2003
- Posts
- 273
The Marine
News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson,NPR Reporter Cokie
Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day
when they were captured by cannibals.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.
The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last
requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot, spicy chili."
The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the
chili.Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of
is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to
sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time."
The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening."
Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job 'til the
end."
The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final
wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine.
So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees,pulled a 9mm pistol
from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he
leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the
cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their
lives.
As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him,"Why didn't you
just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal Assholes call ME the
aggressor?!?"
News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson,NPR Reporter Cokie
Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day
when they were captured by cannibals.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.
The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last
requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot, spicy chili."
The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the
chili.Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of
is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to
sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time."
The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening."
Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job 'til the
end."
The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final
wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine.
So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees,pulled a 9mm pistol
from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he
leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the
cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their
lives.
As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him,"Why didn't you
just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal Assholes call ME the
aggressor?!?"
