Someone, help

[cheesysusie]

I found out tonight my younger sister is cutting herself, intentionally. She's 16, and has always been depressed and angry, and my parents have repeatedly ignored my pleas to get her some help. We all saw it tonight, the marks on her arm, about 20 perfectly straight, perfectly spaced cuts on her arm. Does anyone know anything about this sort of thing? Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? My parents don't seem overly concerned, even though I told them how dangerous this can be.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Pretty blatant plea for help, I'd say you need to get some community mental health types on the horn ASAP, and possibly kick your parents in the ass next time there's no audience (people react badly to being upbraided in front of others as a rule.)

 

[Guest]

i know this may not be much help but you can always call your local crisis line.

unfornately, if your parents aren't concern then you'll have to force the issue. my best friend does the same thing (or used to) but with help and medication...he doesn't do it anymore. But keep in mind...it takes a long time for recovery and even then you have to be carefull

 

[Guest]

 

[Monazwx]

There are a some threads on the forum where cutting is mentioned, but not many.
I'll see if I can find 'em and post them here.

 

[QuickDuck]

I find it hard to believe that your parents don't find this a worry, however thats not for me to judge.

The one friend I had who did it....well lets just say that i ended up dragging her, kicking and screaming to see a councellor.

It took a while for her to open up to them, but she did and while she still has the occasional battle with depression, it is obvious she is comming to terms with whatever the issue was. (no, it is personal information between her and her councellor... I don't know what it is).

All I can suggest is to talk to her... try and get her to seek out some help.

There is only so much you can do alone, and should try to do alone.

Hope this helps a little.

 

[Ice Cold]

The term is "Cutting" if you go to Yahoo and type "self mutilation cutting" it will give you some web cites, a few references and some book that can offer insite into he problem. It is more wide spread than most people think and i untreated it can follow her into adulthood if she makes it that far. Good luck.



http://www.focusas.com/SelfInjury.html

 

[BrownEyes26]

According to Burstow, self-mutilation is a mode of coping and a specific range of self-injurious acts or series of acts.
She also says that :"Self-mutilation is fundamentally a way of living."

A social worker that I know works with people who self-mutilate. I would suggest that you get her to a social worker who works from a feminist perspective, and is willing to work with your sister without labelling her, and will help understand why she cuts herself, and possible ways to stop, or decrease the incidence of her cutting, such as finding other ways to express her hurt/anger etc.

 

[Monazwx]

Here's one.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=129676&highlight=cutting+cutter

Your sis needs help and your parents need to quit denying it.

 

[tulip2lipservice]

Hugs Susie

check your PM box.

I would advice counseling. Like others have mentioned it is a cry for help. It is also the way a person can deal with some internal pain they have suffered and have no way of letting out the pain.

I am sure there are several health professional about that hopefully will offer you more professional advice on the subject.

Many hugs and hang in there.

Peace,
Tulip

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

I work in day care and am a youth advisor/advocate.

Cutting is a warning sign of suicide, if your parents do not take note of this behavior and take the correct steps for getting help for her then (in my state anyway) they are guilty of child abuse: Negelct. You can contact your local Dept of Youth and Child Services who will take a report. They can also give the names of other supportive services that can help your sister. They might investgate your family.

A lot of people don't take this action because they dont' want their family investagated. However, to me anyway, is pride worth the life of a child?

From ABCnews.com:
Coping by Cutting
Emotional Turmoil Prompts Self-Injury

By Teresa Novellino


— Lisa Bayens was only 12 when she started cutting her own arms and stomach with a razor.
Now 20, she is finishing therapy, where she confronts the inner demons that first drove her to cut herself.
"I felt so much anger inside and I was so upset that I wanted to have my feelings expressed," she said. "I couldn't discuss them with somebody, so I felt like I had to put a mark on my body. I felt so relieved afterwards that I continued the behavior every time I was sad or angry, upset or depressed."

Bayens' behavior may seem bizarre, but it's not unusual.

Researchers say 2 to 3 million Americans — and more worldwide — cut themselves on purpose.

Those who cut themselves are often turning their anger on themselves because they are afraid to let their feelings out, says Good Morning America parenting expert Ann Pleshette Murphy.

"This can be a way to express painful feelings and avoiding having to express them out loud," says Murphy. "The philosophy behind it is not very different from girls who starve themselves."

'Physical Expression of Anger'

In recent years, the secret impulse has gone public.

Princess Diana admitted in a 1995 BBC interview that she cut her legs and arms because she was unhappy about her marriage, for example.

Experts say cutters inflict pain on themselves to deal with worthlessness and self-hatred.

Most of these self-injurers are female, 50 percent were sexually abused and many also have eating disorders.

"It's a physical expression of anger," says author and clinical psychologist Wendy Lader, co-founder of the Self-Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E) program. "You might see guys who are angry hit a wall, or kick something and they feel better. For these girls, they hurt themselves."

Journalist Marilee Strong interviewed more than 50 "cutters" for her book, A Bright Red Scream. The group included foster children, prisoners, doctors, lawyers, nurses and Sunday-school teachers.

"Self-injurers," ," she says, "are often bright, talented, creative achievers-perfectionists who push themselves beyond all human bounds, people-pleasers who cover their pain with a happy face."

Often the cutting episode begins on impulse: A cutter grabs a sharp object to cut themselves, or they nick themselves shaving their legs and just keep cutting.

Many cutters describe relief and solace in watching themselves bleed, as though their pain and fear is seeping away.

"Basically there's a belief that when one cuts," says Lader, "there may be naturally occurring opiates that produce an analgesic effect."

The First Cut

Doctors often misdiagnose cutting as attempts to commit suicide. Self-injurers, however, view the behavior as a way to survive, to show themselves they are still alive and capable of feeling pain.

Bayens says she cut herself as an angry reaction to a neighbor who had abused her since she was 5 years old — something she never revealed to her parents.

"I did not want them to know about the past sexual abuse… so I could not bring the self-injury up to them," says Bayens. "I did not want to hurt them."

Instead, she went to S.A.F.E., a 30-day inpatient treatment program at MacNeal Hospital in Berwyn, Ill. The program accepts 10 patients at a time. Almost all of them end up being white females; many are adolescents.

When Lader and Karen Conterio co-launched S.A.F.E. in 1984, they received 1,250 letters a year from those seeking help. Today they get 5,000 letters each month.

They have seen girls who have amputated parts of their body, girls who have cut themselves to the point where they require hundreds of stitches to re-seal their flesh, girls who have carved words like "fat" or "ugly" into their skin.

The therapy that S.A.F.E. patients go through emphasizes that they alone can help themselves.

"Our program puts the responsibility squarely with the client," says Lader. "To recognize that they do have control. That this is a choice."

A No-Harm Contract

S.A.F.E. patients sign a contract promising not to hurt themselves during their 30-day stay. There are no restraints to keep the girls from hurting themselves and they are not kept away from potentially self-injurious weapons such as scissors.

Instead the focus is on new behaviors: group therapy to discuss feelings, not their injuries, taking anti-depressants if needed, and writing in impulse control logs to help them pinpoint the emotions that lead to the cutting.

"The self-injury isn't the problem," says Lader. "It's the feelings that lead to it, the anger and the abandonment."

And addressing those feelings appears to help, at least in Bayens' case.

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be," she says. "I am learning to live a full life."

Signs of Cutting and Getting Help


Even parents and family members may be unaware that a loved one is hurting themselves in private.
The signs of cutting are obvious, but often the cutters try to hide their slashed skinand their bruises.

Good Morning America's Parenting Contributor Ann Pleshette Murphy says parents should be wary of unexplained bruises or cuts that a girl may say she got while shaving, for example — especially if they are paired with other indications that she is troubled.

"Look for any depression or low self-esteem," says Murphy. A teen might also describe herself as bored or unable to express emotions.

A teen may also wear long, baggy clothes in the summer to cover up her body. Note signs of an unusual desire for privacy — reluctance to change clothes in gym class, for instance.

When seeking help, be sure to check out therapists carefully, since many are not experienced in this type of behavior.

**********************

I hope this helps.

 

[BrownEyes26]

I disagree that your sister is suicidal, but I am kind of radical.

Try to get some information on self mutilation. A good book is Radical Femisist Therapy by Burstow. She states:

"Contributing to the misapprehension about self-mutialation and to our abuse of women who self-mutilate is the mistaken belief that self-mutilation is suicidal, quasi-suicidal, or "on the royal road to suicide"...it is crucial that we stop confusing self-mutilation with suicide. Although women who self-mutilate may end up killing themselves, just as other women in distress may, SELF MUTILATION IS NOT A WAY OF DYING or even edging closer to dying.
...It is a means of getting through the day. In our desire for something better and in our zeal to get women to stop hurting themselves, we forget, to our client's detriment, that this way of proceeding has kept her going for years.
Simply by not being shocked, not being alarmist, and not pathologizing, we are sending out the message that we are not going to freak out and she is okay.
My advice is to co-investigate what "makes her bad" or worthless and who early on described her this way..." (pp.187-193).

 

[cheesysusie]

Thank you, all of you. You've all helped loads. And I appreciate all the links. I'm going to print tons of stuff out and give it to my parents. Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooochies!