Soft / Hard Limits

[NoeMasks]

And if you have a few grays mixed in, please don't be disappointed that some little girl won't get your hair. They won't ever use any with gray for wigs. However, they will sell your hair to help defray costs for making the wigs.

I was crushed to find this out when I donated 42" of my hair thinking three little girls would be really happy but I'm sure there was enough there to help make a few.

This must be new, they used to use the grey hair in the in the weft (underlayer) to make the wig more easily washed. Times change, and good to know.

 

[bob53]

I have watched it now. The guy was in the wrong, he raped her full stop. She did not want intercourse for multiple reasons and he did not want to wear a condom, but he wanted unprotected sex and he took it. He did not stick to his word, he raped her and others too.

She is true to her word, I doubt he is though.

Sam xx

I agree. The point is how frequently as was pointed out that hard limits get violated without proper protest.
Some people during heat of play will try to break a hard limit and the partner frequently will not stop the play as she did.

He admitted to that.

What I found especially good in this talk is how raw, vulnerable and articulate she was being, especially to such a large audience.

 

[cookiecat]

This TEDx talk really drove home my thoughts on limits and consent.
Failing to keep true to your word is also a major deal breaker for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOSU7B8iR-Q

Quoting to watch later. Sam's comments made me really curious

 

[NoeMasks]

Quoting to watch later. Sam's comments made me really curious

I am only 5 minutes in and it raises a lot of good questions, that need to be through about.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Hard limits for me will be drugs or intoxication- I won't be involved in a scene with a drug user, or someone drunk/on drugs, or especially if I'm under the influence myself. Full time 24-7 real slavery is another one- some people are not only okay with it but actively seek that lifestyle, but I have too much other stuff going on in my own life.
A lot of the usual ones already mentioned would be "hard limits" for me as well.

Soft limits though- sometimes the fantasy is different then the reality and certain activities- FULL toilet play, forced bi-sexuality, intense/hard whipping, scarring- those would be intense fantasies that I would entertain, but for obvious reasons probably should be "limits" in reality - at least, soft limits if not hard.

Public exhibition- that is another soft limit, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to subject the unwilling public to our private lifestyle. The thing about public humiliation, it's like forcing kids to watch an R-rated movie; it may not be appropriate. At least, there would have to be subtle ways to go about it, obviously (unless you live in some place like San Francisco, where even then it isn't really in good taste) it would not be appropriate to have your dominant partner lead you naked on your knees on a leash down a busy street.

 

[KimGordon67]

Interesting thread ... mine are definitely anything humiliating (including name-calling - I ground to a halt in the middle of some awesome phone sex once because he forgot and called me 'slut').
Calling someone sir/master/daddy/etc ... hence I'm not a very good sub.
Also, being gagged. The idea of not being able to talk completely freaks me out.
Any attempt to control anything past the (metaphorical) bedroom door.
Both my and my in-charge guy though breathplay was a limit of some description ... turns out not so much.