So what is it about the "Loving Wives" Category

[3113]

I was reading the thread on extreme readers and their comments, and now I'm curious...I know this subject has been discussed but, what the heck, let's discuss it again:

What's the fascination with this category for writers?
What's the fascination with this category for readers?
Why will readers write longer, more involved comments on stories in this category than in any other? Other categories, a writer is likely to get "Great story!" and "Love it. Please write more!" in the comment section. But in "Loving Wives" the readers leave dissertations!

Most especially...why take it so personally? A lot of readers seem to get upset at stories of cheating wives, as if the woman cheated on them...yet isn't that what the category is all about? If it's so easy to read a story in this category which is likely to personally offend...why keep reading stories in it? And what sort of response do readers want from the fictional, cuckolded husbands? Do writers keep pitching stories in this category because they hope to someday get it right...or because they feed off the long comments...like a starving man with tapeworms?

Is there some strange cycle of abuse going on here between readers and writers?

 

[AchtungNight]

It could be a lot of things. Maybe they're finding common ground between the stories and their own lives, hopes, and dreams. And they really hate it, so they lash out. But they don't resolve anything, so they keep coming back. Sad, isn't it?

I don't know why Loving Wives is so popular. I just am proud to say I never will post in that category even if I did touch on it briefly with Jennie Finch's depiction in "Two Cats in Heat."

 

[rgraham666]

I'm not sure the category was ever supposed to be 'Cheating Wives'. But I'm not sure.

At any rate, I doubt I'll ever do a Loving Wives story. I find it very hard to be sympathetic to adulterers. I understand I believe, but am not entirely sympathetic.

As far as the feedback goes, I think that can be summed up as ego and anger addiction.

A lot of people have been cheated on. This damages their egos, and makes them angry. Anger feels good in a lot of ways, and people get addicted to it. So they go to Loving Wives to get their anger triggers stroked, so they can get their hit of anger.

Then they release the pain of their egos feel in long, vituperative comments.

Really, it's another form of masturbation.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Beats the hell out of me, I don't read the category, and I don't write in the category.

 

[R. Richard]

What's the fascination with this category for writers?[/qutoe]
I needed to fill in the category as a part of the Survivor Contrest.

What's the fascination with this category for readers?

Some of the LW readers want all sex to be between a husband and wife. Some of the LW readers want no sex to be between a husband and wife. Some of the LW readers want no sex to be between a husband and wife, but the husband has to watch the wife's cheating sex or at least know about it. And. if I may gently corect, they are not readers in the LW category, they are a lynch mob!

Most especially...why take it so personally? A lot of readers seem to get upset at stories of cheating wives, as if the woman cheated on them...yet isn't that what the category is all about? If it's so easy to read a story in this category which is likely to personally offend...why keep reading stories in it? And what sort of response do readers want from the fictional, cuckolded husbands? Do writers keep pitching stories in this category because they hope to someday get it right...or because they feed off the long comments...like a starving man with tapeworms?

Is there some strange cycle of abuse going on here between readers and writers?

I have a theory. At least most of the LW readers are a captive audience. They are confined in a laughing academy somewhere and the reading of the stories and writing of the comments is part of their therapy. THE THERAPY IS NOT WORKING!

JMNTHO.

 

[MagicaPractica]

As far as the feedback goes, I think that can be summed up as ego and anger addiction...A lot of people have been cheated on. This damages their egos, and makes them angry. Anger feels good in a lot of ways, and people get addicted to it. So they go to Loving Wives to get their anger triggers stroked, so they can get their hit of anger. Then they release the pain of their egos feel in long, vituperative comments..

I basically agree with this. I think it's like watching the train wreck of a relationship. It gets their adrenaline up and comment is a release. I had something else to add to that but I can't remember what it was now. Shite! Sometimes I hate my brain.

 

[JamesSD]

I'm not sure the category was ever supposed to be 'Cheating Wives'. But I'm not sure.

I still feel the category name is misleading. My personal view is it should be mostly for swinging and "cuckolding" stories. Stories of a husband and wife having sex with each other belong in romance or maybe Erotic Couplings.

There is a HUGE double standard among online erotica readers. The same men (and it's men that do this) that hate any story about a wife having sex with another man will LOVE stories about married men having affairs with 18 year old girls, or having threesomes with their wife and her best friend/sister.

I do feel that the category needs to be split/renamed. If it was cleary designed for swinging and cuckold stories I think the complainers would feel much less justified.

 

[dirtyjoe69]

here is what i posted on another thread why i think these guys get so upset

it is simple some of these guys that are "Anonymous" have spent way to much time jerking off to porn and now blame the stories. And because they were too busy with reading and looking they now are just wallowing in their self pity and need someone to take it out on! My loving wives story was just that. Did my wife cheat in it...YES, but I also made it so the guy was accepting and some jackass still couldn't handle it....

I just don't understand if they get so upset reading a certain topic why they bother....I guess feeling angry is better than feeling guilty for not paying attention to your better half....speaking of that I have been on here and writing way too much today

 

[AngeloMichael]

I never intended to write a LW story but now I'm kind of interested in writing one just experience what all the fuss is about personally. Kind of a social experiment. I don't know, maybe I'll do something less dangerous...like cliffdiving.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

A woman being so... sexed up... that she cheats on her husband with some stud of a guy? Or maybe revenge sexes some younger (better hung) man?

That's just hot.

Tragic, sure--if you want to make a "real world" case out of it. But honestly, sci-fi/fantasy sex is just crudely weirdo if we want to start going that route.

 

[Huckleman2000]

... But honestly, sci-fi/fantasy sex is just crudely weirdo if we want to start going that route.

SCI-FI IS NOT WEIRDO! THOSE TENTACLE MONSTERS ARE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD!

 

[capecodmercury]

Why I do it. Confessions of a serial loving wives author

I am a Loving Wives author. God, I feel like I'm taking the first step in a twelve step program.

Ok, why do I put up with the abuse. Well there are two reasons. First, the category does get a lot of readers and I've gotten some great feedback in among the slams and attacks. I get enough constructive feedback to make it worthwhile. But the main reason can be summed in one word: Emotion. I like to write about flawed characters dealing with stressful situations. This category gives me wide latitude to play where I want.

In terms of the abusive feedback, I agree that the category could and probably should be split. There are at least four armed camps of writers/readers within this category: The Humiliated cuckold/femdom camp; the swinging couples & hot wives camp; the death to all cheaters camp and the reconciliation camp. Oh occasionally you actually get a story about a husband and wive making love together (which sometimes gets jumped on for being in the wrong category).

The problem is that there are some readers in each of the camps that absolutely abhor stories that fit one of the other genres. To the revenge at any costs camp, if you dare to write a story of reconciliation, you are immediately labeled a wimp with no moral values. There are some that slam any revenge story, and everyone jumps on the cuckold stories (sorry, it's just seems like they are the picked on minority of the category). These infighters are a small minority of the readership, but boy are they ever vocal. A splitting of the category might possibly end some of the infighting.

Now, that being said, there are some tremendous storytellers who do a lot of writing in the category and if you read it with any regularity you soon learn to look for the names of authors you like. And, there are also some very loyal readers who do give thoughtful and constructive criticism. You just have to look for it.

TaTa

CCM

 

[Kain__Thornn]

I used to have one of those. Now I just have the mother of my kids.

 

[3113]

Tragic, sure--if you want to make a "real world" case out of it. But honestly, sci-fi/fantasy sex is just crudely weirdo if we want to start going that route.

It would be one thing if readers took the stories as "fantasy" but they react, often, as if it was happening real world and wasn't just hot erotica.

And Huckleman's right. You should watch what you say about sci-fi, Earthling....er...Joe.

 

[3113]

As far as the feedback goes, I think that can be summed up as ego and anger addiction.

I think that's a really astute point, Ron. It does sound like a lot of readers use this category to revisit emotions that they can't let go of, and want to stew in. Anger at the cheating, revenge at the cheater, and rants about their dissatisfaction with relationships.

I don't know the ratio of male to female readers in the LW category, but I'm guessing that there's a certain amount of misogyny as well, and an element of vicarious control issues going on. If the real woman can't be punished for the cheating (or forgiven) the fictional woman can be and the man gains control over a situation that he had no control over in the real world.

 

[3113]

And. if I may gently corect, they are not readers in the LW category, they are a lynch mob!

LOL! I stand corrected, R.R. Lynch mob it is...and all because the therapy isn't working.

 

[3113]

There are at least four armed camps of writers/readers within this category: The Humiliated cuckold/femdom camp; the swinging couples & hot wives camp; the death to all cheaters camp and the reconciliation camp. Oh occasionally you actually get a story about a husband and wive making love together (which sometimes gets jumped on for being in the wrong category).

That's very interesting. It seems to me that some of these writers could go into other categories (except they're getting "high" off so many readers/comments including abusive ones?).

The cuckold/femdom could go into BDSM, which already hosts stories of dominating wives who humilate their husbands.

The reconsiliation camp would seem to fit into romance, as romantics want to see lovers reconcile even if there's been a falling out or affair along the way.

A quick and happy erotic moment between husband and wife would rightly go in either erotic couplings and/or romance.

Swingers is supposed to be covered by group sex--or so the definition says.

However, I suppose, that the category could easily be renamed, "Cheaters and adulterers" and writers could let the chips fall where they may depending on whether they decided the cheating in the story led to an open marriage or to retrubution.

I assume a change in category/definition has been discused with Laurel and Manu before?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I don't really see why or how swinging should be in LW. It belongs in Group Sex IMO. That being said, I have my own take on LW. Yes, Rob is partially right about anger addiction. But that's only part of it. And, yes, there is a double standard. For me, however, my anger has tended to be at the OTHER double standard, the one that the writers and wives (and their lovers) set for the husbands. So I avoid the cuckold category.

That being admitted, I acknowledge a "guilty pleasure" enjoyment of the cheating stuff. It doesn't quite piss me off like the cuckold stuff, and it is generally not about denying the husband sex. And, as if often the case, there is some consequence. Lady Cibelle alluded to this recently, and on this matter, I happen to agree with her attitude about it. It's a voyeuristic/taboo pleasure like incest, and the addition of some kind of consequence helps.

I might add that not all cuckold writers do all of the harsh stuff in real-life that they depict in stories to husbands. Nor are their stories always of poor quality. Misty Morgan is a clear case of this. Before I made the wise choice of leaving the cuckold stories alone (since I don't care to feel pissed-off), I read a few of her stories, always hoping for a change of scene or twist away from her normal routine. She never varies it too much, but does write well on that theme. It's not to my taste, but that's why I don't read it anymore. I don't want to add my bias to the equation and cause a negative vote or comment that is based on content.

So, in sum, I have made my peace with LW. I just choose to be selective about the handful of LW stories that I read. And I agree about splitting it up. Putting so many hostile camps in one category is like tossing gasoline on an open flame. It's asking for anger and vitriol.

 

[S-Des]

Seriously, I am so fed up with the condescention about this category I'm ready to scream. If I had a dollar for every AHer who said they "Won't read or write a story in that category," I'd be a rich man. Since that's where I post most of my stories, thanks for saying "Fuck you" to me.

I'll tell you a little story. I never read Erotic Horror. I have no interest in the genre. However, Rob struck me as a nice person with interesting takes on things, so I read Abyss, which I enjoyed. When I have time, I'll read more of his stories. I don't read period pieces. I like current subject matter. However, I read Girl Next Door from Scheh & Aurora's Henry V and became a huge fan of both (Aurora is now on my Favorite's list for everyone to see, I hope it garners a few more readers for her).

I can understand people not wanting to post a story there, because the comments can be mean. LW can be about anything. I've read stories about BDSM, swinging, cheating, cuckholding, incest, lesbianism, first time and NC. For anyone to say they refuse to read the category, despite the score or reviews of the story (or knowing the author) just boggles my mind.

For those of you who don't know CapeCod, he's a very astute author with several highly rated stories. He is also an excellent critic who left the single most interesting and thought provoking review of any of my stories on my PC section.

Now that I have that off of my chest, LW is all about tension. I've read so many stories in other categories that are well written, but have 0% interest for me because there's no tension in the story. Regardless of how well the dialogue is written or how hot the sex is, I need to care about the characters to be drawn into the story. Many of the LW stories have a lot of tension because we can identify with a good family torn apart by a mistake or selfishness. They also can be very sexual because the situation is so hightened due to the nature of the seduction (to me, a loving wife being seduced into cheating is more erotic than just two strangers having great sex).

The drama of what happens next (whether it involves reconciliation, revenge, or some combination of the two) can be extremely engrossing. Many of the stories deal with couples counseling to get past an infidelity, which is fascinating to read. The readers are very well informed on the topic and will let a writer know if he or she says something that is flat out ridiculous (which is why I avoid counseling in my stories).

The stories hold readers attention for much longer than stories in other categories. My last LW story was 12-14 Lit pages and received close to 50,000 views, 300 votes, and 50 comments per chapter. People don't look at a story and say, "It's too long, I want to find something shorter." I find it disturbing that it's readers (and often the authors) are dismissed by some of the people here. I wonder if they ever consider that it's not pleasant to read that someone you consider a friend will never read your work because you post in the wrong category (despite the subject matter being something you know they have an interest in).

....S-Des

P.S. As to the comment about "Trying to get it right," I've had 2 of my 3 LW stories reach #1 in the category (including the one in 1st now). I write stories to entertain people and maybe make them smile (or even masturbate, I don't really care). I started writing and made some major changes in my life because a story in the category touched me so deeply that I realized I had kind of given up on things (I used to be such a hopeless romantic). It reminded me of what I had always imagined having a life partner would be like. Maybe it's stupid to need a story to make you feel that again, but maybe if you knew what my life was like, you'd understand. I would just like to make someone else feel the way that author made me feel. That's why I write stories there.

 

[LadyCibelle]

It either takes brass balls or be completely crazy to write in the LW category. I choose to believe my writers have brass balls as I know they aren't crazy.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

All this talk about Loving Wives... I totally just power-read through a bunch of them.

And I may have attended my "social agenda".

 

[3113]

Seriously, I am so fed up with the condescention about this category I'm ready to scream. If I had a dollar for every AHer who said they "Won't read or write a story in that category," I'd be a rich man. Since that's where I post most of my stories, thanks for saying "Fuck you" to me.

Now, now, S-Des...I can't tell you how many writers, having read and liked one of my romance stories, have said to me, "I love your writing, but I can't read the gay stories...."

I certainly don't think they're saying "Fuck you" because of that.

A lot of the disparaging remarks seem to be coming from writers who DO write in the LW category. So I think they have a right to take it lightly if they like. I certainly wouldn't be offended if another romance writer mocked the romance section--or another writer in the gay category noted, with levity, the type of stories that keep popping up in that category. In fact I've talked to writers on that very thing, with them moaning about how the gay stories all too often start: "I wasn't gay, I loved girls and had a girlfriend, but...."

Those who won't post stories in LW seem to be either dismayed by reader's comments (the lynch mob mentality that R.R. mentions)--which doesn't reflect at all on your or anyone else's writing--or don't like the subject. Which is no different from people not liking or understanding any other subject.

And being that it's the most popular category, and as controversial as incest, you're going to be a rich man. Because anything popular AND controversial is going to get talked about. A lot. Writers like me are going to be curious. Why is this the most popular category? And if it's controversial, getting comments that, as mentioned by CapeCod in the "extreme" thread, include readers who insult an author when commenting on other stories--then I have to wonder why post in that category? Are the rewards of writing such a story (excitement, tension, eroticism, characterization) worth having such readers?

You say that you're read stories in that category that include: "BDSM, swinging...incest, lesbianism, first time and NC." So, the writer could have posted in ANY of those other categories instead? Okay. Why didn't they? Why go for LW?

I think your answer about cheating wife stories involving tension is as good a reason as any for indicating the popularity of stories about cheating.

 

[Guest]

We have repeatedly asked Laurel/Manu to make a cheating wives category... along with the loving wives category...

Those that write true LW stories get hosed by those wanting cheating wives. Those that write cheating wives stories get hosed by those that want LW stories.

It becomes a hellish place to write stories for and in.

I have written two stories there I believe. One of them I actually recieved a comment along the lines of oh this is a true LW story... I know however others have not been so lucky.

 

[Boota]

I'm going to submit my next story under Loving Wives. I really enjoy confrontation.

 

[rgraham666]

Considering you can get away with a confrontation with a Volkswagen, you can get away with submitting to LW with little problem.