Smartass Disclaimer

[AndersonsBiographer]

Would this piss off the Mods? Would readers find it less amusing than I do?

I notice a lot of writers put up the standard disclaimer: that all fictional characters are consenting adults, that everyone is above the age of 18, that they don't condone or encourage illegal/immoral/unethical activities.

I think I'm going to kick off my story by deviating from that script a little. I'm going to say that my story takes place in a fantasy world where any human being below the age of 18 years old (21 years in some jurisdictions) is completely, physically incapable of having sex, taking part in sexual activities, or even knowing of the existence of sex. Underaged humans in this world are largely invisible from the time they enter kindergarten up until the 18th or 21st birthday. I'm also going to say that I do not in fact condone my readers doing anything which is likely to get the entire zip code I live in carpet-bombed by the Air Force, which was what would likely happen if anything in this story were to really occur.

 

[alohadave]

You never know until you try.

I don't really see the point or what it'll accomplish. Your screed isn't going to change anything. It's not like Laurel will read that and think, "hmm, after 20+ years, maybe I'll change the policy because of this sarcastic note."

 

[yowser]

Your pleasure, your call.

With the exception of the 'this story is an entry into the 'X' contest/challenge,' 99% of the prefatory notes/disclaimers do nothing more than detract from the story, and run the risk of becoming positively annoying if they go on for more than a sentence or two.

 

[Seadog777]

I think all of that is more dumb, than being a "smartass".
Readers already have the understanding that the characters are over 18.

JMO of course.

It's YOUR story so do what you want.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

You never know until you try.

I don't really see the point or what it'll accomplish. Your screed isn't going to change anything. It's not like Laurel will read that and think, "hmm, after 20+ years, maybe I'll change the policy because of this sarcastic note."

I was actually more interested in the "carpet-bombed by the Air Force" bit. Think of the endings to Shadow Over Innsmoth, Midwich Cuckoos, or The Tommyknockers

I don't know who Laurel is. I don't care if anything gets changed or not. In fact I'm certian that nothing I do or say will actually change anything on the matter, since it isn't any of our opinions that are really relevant here. I know good and well why the rule exists and to that extent I support it, because I don't want the people running this fine website to get vanned by the pigs.

 

[SimonDoom]

My opinion is to stop thinking about the disclaimer and focus your creative energy on the story itself.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

My opinion is to stop thinking about the disclaimer and focus your creative energy on the story itself.

Already finished the first chapter. Having a cooling off period before the second. I want at least three or so chapters finished before I try to submit, just to make sure that I'll stick with it.

No one likes an abandoned series, least of all those of us who are rather bad about doing it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Would this piss off the Mods? Would readers find it less amusing than I do?

I notice a lot of writers put up the standard disclaimer: that all fictional characters are consenting adults, that everyone is above the age of 18, that they don't condone or encourage illegal/immoral/unethical activities.

I think I'm going to kick off my story by deviating from that script a little. I'm going to say that my story takes place in a fantasy world where any human being below the age of 18 years old (21 years in some jurisdictions) is completely, physically incapable of having sex, taking part in sexual activities, or even knowing of the existence of sex. Underaged humans in this world are largely invisible from the time they enter kindergarten up until the 18th or 21st birthday. I'm also going to say that I do not in fact condone my readers doing anything which is likely to get the entire zip code I live in carpet-bombed by the Air Force, which was what would likely happen if anything in this story were to really occur.

I think that what this exhibits is indeed a noun including the letters ‘a’, ‘s’ and ‘s’. But maybe at the beginning instead of the end and I’m not sure that the other part of the relevant portmanteau rhymes with tart, maybe more pole.

Em

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

I think that what this exhibits is indeed a noun including the letters ‘a’, ‘s’ and ‘s’. But maybe at the beginning instead of the end and I’m not sure that the other part of the relevant portmanteau rhymes with tart, maybe more pole.

Em

You're not wrong.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My prediction is that the readers are going to think you’re being a dick, one bomb you and give you a lot of nasty comments, and next week you’ll be back here starting a thread about how the readers suck.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I was actually more interested in the "carpet-bombed by the Air Force" bit. Think of the endings to Shadow Over Innsmoth, Midwich Cuckoos, or The Tommyknockers

I don't know who Laurel is. I don't care if anything gets changed or not. In fact I'm certian that nothing I do or say will actually change anything on the matter, since it isn't any of our opinions that are really relevant here. I know good and well why the rule exists and to that extent I support it, because I don't want the people running this fine website to get vanned by the pigs.

You've set up the premise, but you haven told us what eventually happens to justify Air Force intervention. I guess that is part of the surprise. I thought that The Midwich Cuckoos and Tommyknockers had something to do with extraterrestrial aliens. (I know, you were just using a figure of speech.) Also, you've described the disclaimer without actually giving a transcript of it.

But since you've already written three chapters, you might as well post them and see what happens. Don't go out of your way to taunt the moderators; they have the power, you don't. By the way, somebody else had a similar idea (adolescents who don't sexually mature) a while go. I don't know if he actually submitted it.

 

[Djmac1031]

I prefaced my Christmas story about elves with the following;

"All elves featured in this story are at least 100 years of age or older. More than old enough to get up to the debauchery you're about to read."

Of course, the entire story was farcical.

If you're writing a humorous piece, go for it.

But if your intention it trying to throw some snarky shade at the site rules and those who enforce them, well... your call I suppose.

 

[LupusDei]

In recent party my sister showed me a book. It was in Latvian, so it doesn't matter I don't remember the title or author, it won't say you anything. The author was a mildly locally popular poet. So, the book was, supposedly, poetry. It wasn't a big book, but well over a hundred pages I think. It started with a disclaimer. Well, a quite extend disclaimer. Actually, that disclaimer, going to increasingly absurd lengths and making humor on itself filled about two thirds of the entire book.

Yes, it was a dadaist book. The rest featured things like sentences wrapping over the outside edge of the page to the other side, among other text and presentation games.

The point, well, disclaimers and likewise self-comentary is very much part of your art.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

But since you've already written three chapters, you might as well post them and see what happens. Don't go out of your way to taunt the moderators; they have the power, you don't. By the way, somebody else had a similar idea (adolescents who don't sexually mature) a while go. I don't know if he actually submitted it.

They do sexually mature, they're just semi-invisible from about the time they turn 5 up until the very exact moment that they turn 18, and somehow this radical power that the youth possess doesn't cause our fantasy world to be in any way significantly different from the real world. Note semi-invisible. Not invisible enough to get run over by cars or easily lost by their parents, but invisible enough not to be pose a moral issue when matters of erotica arise.

A lot of erotic work seems to work on that premise already. I'm just taking the idea and being literal with it.

 

[gunhilltrain]

They do sexually mature, they're just semi-invisible from about the time they turn 5 up until the very exact moment that they turn 18, and somehow this radical power that the youth possess doesn't cause our fantasy world to be in any way significantly different from the real world. Note semi-invisible. Not invisible enough to get run over by cars or easily lost by their parents, but invisible enough not to be pose a moral issue when matters of erotica arise.

A lot of erotic work seems to work on that premise already. I'm just taking the idea and being literal with it.

I think I got that. The semi-invisible (literally) part seems like a new twist. But yeah, go ahead, you don't have to justify it to us. And you've already written a significant part of it. I put "coming-of-age" stories on other sites that accept them, but that's just me.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

In recent party my sister showed me a book. It was in Latvian, so it doesn't matter I don't remember the title or author, it won't say you anything. The author was a mildly locally popular poet. So, the book was, supposedly, poetry. It wasn't a big book, but well over a hundred pages I think. It started with a disclaimer. Well, a quite extend disclaimer. Actually, that disclaimer, going to increasingly absurd lengths and making humor on itself filled about two thirds of the entire book.

Yes, it was a dadaist book. The rest featured thinks like sentences wrapping over the outside edge of the page to the other side, among other text and presentation games.

The point, well, disclaimers and likewise self-comentary is very much part of your art.

That's brilliant!

I'm actually quite fond of dadaist art. Seems to convey a lot of the same themes I admire in discordianism, but quite a bit more metal in it than you find in the latter.

That its creators had just lived through industrial-scale mass-murder in the trenches of World War I, and that most of them didn't seem to think it would be the last, might be the reason for that.

 

[LupusDei]

That's brilliant!

I'm actually quite fond of dadaist art. Seems to convey a lot of the same themes I admire in discordianism, but quite a bit more metal in it than you find in the latter.

That its creators had just lived through industrial-scale mass-murder in the trenches of World War I, and that most of them didn't seem to think it would be the last, might be the reason for that.

It was modern, I think post 2020 copyright. The author called himself "conceptualist" but my sister said it's more dadaist, and she teaches literature for living, so...

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

School teacher?

I used to teach American lit. Loved the work, hated the job, though of course I know that everyone's experiences will differ.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Try it, see what happens.

Readers might find it amusing. Or not.

It'll all depend on the story that follows.

 

[KeithD]

Would this piss off the Mods?

Probably not. You're talking about a story and the Mods don't work the story side here.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Probably not. You're talking about a story and the Mods don't work the story side here.

Well, on this site "Mods" mostly or entirely means Laurel. Other sites have multiple volunteer mods, often with their own unpredictable quirks. So the content of the story, if that is what he means, is definitely important. Did I understand you correctly?

 

[gunhilltrain]

In recent party my sister showed me a book. It was in Latvian, so it doesn't matter I don't remember the title or author, it won't say you anything. The author was a mildly locally popular poet. So, the book was, supposedly, poetry. It wasn't a big book, but well over a hundred pages I think. It started with a disclaimer. Well, a quite extend disclaimer. Actually, that disclaimer, going to increasingly absurd lengths and making humor on itself filled about two thirds of the entire book.

Yes, it was a dadaist book. The rest featured things like sentences wrapping over the outside edge of the page to the other side, among other text and presentation games.

The point, well, disclaimers and likewise self-comentary is very much part of your art.

Sounds like they went far beyond David Foster Wallace and his footnotes inside of footnotes. At some point, it's interesting the first time around, then it becomes a gimmick.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My prediction is that the readers are going to think you’re being a dick, one bomb you and give you a lot of nasty comments, and next week you’ll be back here starting a thread about how the readers suck.

That was my immediate thought. I wouldn't read any further than the disclaimer, I'd be gone. It's trying too hard to be clever.

 

[gunhilltrain]

That's brilliant!

I'm actually quite fond of dadaist art. Seems to convey a lot of the same themes I admire in discordianism, but quite a bit more metal in it than you find in the latter.

That its creators had just lived through industrial-scale mass-murder in the trenches of World War I, and that most of them didn't seem to think it would be the last, might be the reason for that.

No, it wasn't the last, not by a long shot. "Only the dead have seen the end of war," which I think is usually credited to George Santayana. Meanwhile, don't you have that first chapter to submit? The second one to start writing?

 

[gunhilltrain]

I was actually more interested in the "carpet-bombed by the Air Force" bit. Think of the endings to Shadow Over Innsmoth, Midwich Cuckoos, or The Tommyknockers

I don't know who Laurel is. I don't care if anything gets changed or not. In fact I'm certian that nothing I do or say will actually change anything on the matter, since it isn't any of our opinions that are really relevant here. I know good and well why the rule exists and to that extent I support it, because I don't want the people running this fine website to get vanned by the pigs.

Vanned by the pigs? Far out!