Should she be allowed to orgasm?

[tryn2Bgood]

It's an issue because they chose to involve other people who hadn't consented to be part of their exhibitionist games.

Personally, the OP didn't bother me. You only got involved if you 'got involved'.

Secondly, as far as consent goes - let me use an example: You decide to go to a BDSM club with a few friends just to hang out and have a few drinks. You do not intend to participate in any other activities. At some point during the night, you make your way towards the restroom, inadvertently passing a staging area where a couple is engaged in performing a public punishment which you find distasteful. Do you: a) walk up to the stage and demand they cease immediately, b) find the manager and complain, or c) turn away and continue on your route to the bathroom? (Upon entering the club, you may or may not have signed a disclosure form outlining the possible activities taking place inside, but any 'involvement' on your part would be strickly voluntary - much the same as this site.)

The only legitimate argument against this thread was given by Primalex, stating that "This is not a BDSM chat room, nor do we encourage posting 'in role' here". That makes sense. However, 'not encouraging' and 'not allowing' are two different things. IMO, that information could have been passed on to the OP in a more respectful manner. (Primalex also didn't fucking have to be so fucking rude when explaining this.)

It is also NEVER okay to tell someone to "please kill yourself" in a post either. Just saying . . .

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Nezhul]

primalex referenced what we had been trying to explain.

but that's far from where it all started though. Just read the first page of this thread - not a hint of trying to explain something to somebody, especially not about "involving people in your sex life". It's all pretty much just verbal abuse there. From people who like to think they are very nice, tolerant and helpful.

 

[tryn2Bgood]

primalex referenced what we had been trying to explain.

If you are in a venue where activity is expected then your seeing it is not unexpected and your entering it is tacit consent. This environment is not that, its theoretical more than practical.

Similarly places have ( different culturally accepted) rules for what is publically accepted.

Personally I agree it is also not acceptable to say go kill your self, but primalex and I never agree on such

Yeah, I get it. But are you honestly saying that on a BDSM forum, of ANY kind, that running across this type of thread is completely unexpected? Sounds a bit delusional to me. I mean, it could have been posted in the wrong category on accident, or not. But acting like you are shocked or appalled to see it really makes me laugh . . Like hysterically laugh out loud! My point still remains that people could have been more polite in expressing their opinion, and that no one was forced to 'get involved'. Per my analogy in my previous post, 'if you stumble upon something you didn't want to see, choose option c and continue on your path to the bathroom.☺

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Primalex]

The only legitimate argument against this thread was given by Primalex, stating that "This is not a BDSM chat room, nor do we encourage posting 'in role' here". That makes sense. However, 'not encouraging' and 'not allowing' are two different things.

Correct. Nobody banned the OP's forum account, right?

So, all is left is the complaint that the crowd here is highly creative how to 'not encourage' things. Yeah, well...I can't deny that one.

It is also NEVER okay to tell someone to "please kill yourself" in a post either. Just saying . . .

The response to the quoted text is fucking art. You just look at it from the wrong angle.

 

[Luna2121]

Please kill yourself.

(Please choose a method that involves as few people as possible.)

Umm that's a touch extreme don't you think. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but telling someone to kill themselves because you don't agree with what they say is ridiculous and I'm sorry to say it but makes you sound like a twisted middle schooler having a temper tantrum. Sorry to be rude but that was so uncalled for and what makes new people not want to post.

 

[tryn2Bgood]

I don't believe I was rude? I might have been, if so I was wrong.

I also don't believe I used the words shocked or appalled.

Edit: expecting non adherence to guidelines is not the same as encouraging it.

No,no,no. You were not rude. I was using the word 'you' in a plural sense. I should have used the word 'anyone'. And no one used the words shocked or appalled . . . Just saying that is the way some people seemed to react about it. I dont think anyone could honestly say they were 'surprised' to run across a thread like this one. And i dont understand how anyine can feel as if they were 'being involved' in someone's sex life without consent. I dont know how else to get my point across. In reality, I don't really care if I persuade others to understand my POV, so I will let it rest here. Thanks for being polite ☺

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[tryn2Bgood]

Nothing left to be said here

 

[Primalex]

(Maybe I'll go kill myself now)

Would you send me a picture of your tits before? Thanks in advance.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Yeah, I get it. But are you honestly saying that on a BDSM forum, of ANY kind, that running across this type of thread is completely unexpected? Sounds a bit delusional to me. I mean, it could have been posted in the wrong category on accident, or not. But acting like you are shocked or appalled to see it really makes me laugh . . Like hysterically laugh out loud! My point still remains that people could have been more polite in expressing their opinion, and that no one was forced to 'get involved'. Per my analogy in my previous post, 'if you stumble upon something you didn't want to see, choose option c and continue on your path to the bathroom.☺

It is not unreasonable to expect that people will read a forum's rules/expectations before posting. It is not unreasonable to think that one may want to become familiar with a forum's norms, that he or she may click on the Welcome found at the top of the first page.

Threads like this happen from time to time, and the response is always just like this thread. This is not a chat or role play forum; it is a discussion forum.

 

[Nezhul]

It is not unreasonable to expect that people will read a forum's rules/expectations before posting.

Ugh. In fact it is. 99% of people never read rules/expectations for every forum they post in. That's the reality of life. So it is kinda unreasonable to expect they'd read them.

Those threads are there so you can refer to them in case of any disagreement, and in the ideal world yes, everybody should have read them. But come on. No one ever does. I'll wager that you yourself don't read all the sticky threads when you visit a new forum.

Threads like this happen from time to time, and the response is always just like this thread.

Again. You seem to forget that the initial responses had nothing to do with breaking forum rules or dragging someone into someone's sex life. This came much later, and mostly as a justification of all the spite that was already spilled.
More like "OK, we were wrong to judge you, BUT you are still a moron because you broke forum rules! Haha! We were justified to shit on your head!"

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Ugh. In fact it is. 99% of people never read rules/expectations for every forum they post in. That's the reality of life. So it is kinda unreasonable to expect they'd read them.

Those threads are there so you can refer to them in case of any disagreement, and in the ideal world yes, everybody should have read them. But come on. No one ever does. I'll wager that you yourself don't read all the sticky threads when you visit a new forum.

Again. You seem to forget that the initial responses had nothing to do with breaking forum rules or dragging someone into someone's sex life. This came much later, and mostly as a justification of all the spite that was already spilled.

Trust me, I know. I remove a lot of posts and threads from the forum.

People don't have the right to get internet comments they expect.

 

[Primalex]

Again. You seem to forget that the initial responses had nothing to do with breaking forum rules or dragging someone into someone's sex life.

Right, it was a completely harmless very mild sarcastic response that any grown-up and even the OP did ignore with a smile - unfortunately, you decided to go completely ballistic on it.

And then you completely fail to understand the difference between "rules" and "reasons for the existence of certain rules". "It drags us into your sex life" is not something different than "it's against the rules", it's one of the reasons why this rule exists and there are plenty of other reasons.

Very much like there are plenty of reasons why you cannot legally own a rocket launcher and there is a law against it and if you walk with a rocket launcher into a cinema, dozens of people will tell you dozens of reasons why it's a fucking bad idea to do so while you stubbornly decide to point out that reason #1 is a different reason than reason #2 and reason #43 is not such a good reason for a cinema and it all doesn't matter anyway, as there was no fucking sign:"No rocket launchers allowed!" at the cinema entrance.

Please, just shut the fuck up.

 

[Luna2121]

Would you send me a picture of your tits before? Thanks in advance.

You realize how ridiculous you sound right? You sound like a poor excuse for a person in complete honesty. To poke fun at a subject as serious as someone taking their own life. Its not a laughing matter. I truly hope you grow the hell up and stop acting like a troll. I'm not saying if you have differing opinions on something you shouldn't voice them. You should. We all have different opinions and we are entitled to them. But people's lives are not jokes.

 

[Primalex]

You realize how ridiculous you sound right?

The funny thing is that you seem to realize how ridiculous it sounds, yet, you don't treat the things I write as ridiculous, but treat them deadly serious.

To poke fun at a subject as serious as someone taking their own life. Its not a laughing matter.

The subject is not:"someone taking their own life".

The subject is:"Are you entitled to only receive good and helpful advice from strangers on a porn board?"

And with three simple words I was able to contradict and ridicule the statement of the one (and afaik only) person who said and defended the position:"Yes!"


If you catch me writing these three words as a comment to an obituary or as reply on a teenager suicide helpline, then we talk about me poking fun at people dieing and you can come back with your self-righteousness and smite me with your disgust. Until then, I really don't care what you think.

 

[Luna2121]

I'm far from self righteous I'm no Angel nor do I claim to be.
And I treat it as serious because it is. Suicide isn't a joke. Telling someone to kill themselves is not a joke. People all over the world struggle with depression and many have committed suicide. That is not a joke. Commenting that someone should show you their tits beforehand is even worse. And if you read what I wrote you would realize my comments nor my anger have nothing to do with wether or not your advice was helpful or not. My issue with you is the fact that you find it alright to joke about something that can have such a lasting and painful repercussions as I said everyone is entitled to their own opinion and in mine by making such tasteless jokes you make yourself out to sound like an insensitive ass

 

[Primalex]

Suicide isn't a joke.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?





Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Secondly, as far as consent goes - let me use an example: You decide to go to a BDSM club with a few friends just to hang out and have a few drinks. You do not intend to participate in any other activities. At some point during the night, you make your way towards the restroom, inadvertently passing a staging area where a couple is engaged in performing a public punishment which you find distasteful. Do you: a) walk up to the stage and demand they cease immediately, b) find the manager and complain, or c) turn away and continue on your route to the bathroom?

As Elle has already said, this isn't the online equivalent of a BDSM play club and the same expectations don't apply. A better fit would be a BDSM munch. If you show up at a munch and start shagging your girlfriend you can expect not to be invited back.

But as long as we're talking about BDSM clubs... as far as I'm aware, most clubs have established rules about what behaviour is and isn't permitted, and there is a very strong expectation that visitors will take the time to learn those rules and follow them from day one. If you break those rules, you can expect the regulars to be extremely unhappy with you, and you may well be kicked out by security.

The equivalent to that etiquette here is reading the forum stickies before posting.

Yeah, I get it. But are you honestly saying that on a BDSM forum, of ANY kind, that running across this type of thread is completely unexpected?

If you look to the left of people's posts, you'll see a counter that tells you how many posts they've made on the Lit forums, along with a date that tells you when they started. Compare those figures to the content of posts in this thread, and you'll see that virtually every long-term poster in this discussion is telling you, one way or another, that it doesn't belong here. (Maybe with one exception; I have one guy on ignore.)

I wouldn't call it unexpected, though. It's more like "people not cleaning up after their dogs": it happens pretty often, but it's still unwelcome.

Sounds a bit delusional to me. I mean, it could have been posted in the wrong category on accident, or not. But acting like you are shocked or appalled to see it really makes me laugh . . Like hysterically laugh out loud!

Some people are still missing the point here.

If you haven't already heard the story of why Van Halen had a standard clause in their tour contracts that required organisers to provide M&Ms, but ABSOLUTELY NO BROWN M&Ms, take a moment to read it.

Principles like "get consent of participants" and "learn the venue expectations before playing" are very important in BDSM. If you don't understand those principles, there is a very good chance that you will fuck up and harm somebody, one way or another.

The OP here was a bit like a brown M&M in the bowl: not a big breach of those principles, but a warning sign. Instead of laughing at people who are making a fuss about something as minor as a brown M&M, you might want to think about why we pay attention to the colour of the M&Ms.

(It's not an exact parallel; the "brown M&Ms" rule was deliberately added as a test, the "this is not a play forum" rule was not. But it's useful that way nevertheless.)