should i give in yet again?

[paganangel]

i'm going to bed now folks, but it would be nice if when i woke up some people had offered me advice.
i won't bore you all with my story. let' just say it's a bit more complicated than boy meets girl, girl abuses boy. boy shuts people out. trust me when i tell you there's a whole lifetime of experience working against me.
i hadn't gone more than a month without a "special someone" in my life since i was 17. now it's been almost a year and a half.

simply put...do i take a chance on feeling again?

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Yes!

Don't let past experiences dictate your future. Take a chance, open up, you may be surprised to find the one for you! Life is too short not to feel all the good things that you can feel when you are with a special person. Don't deny yourself that opportunity.

 

[juicylips]

YES!!

Take that one chance.

You may find that perfect someone. If you do then the pain you are feeling or have felt in the past will seem so pale in contrast to the joy and pleasure of being with someone who truly loves you

Cassidy

 

[Guest]

 

[cymbidia]

Yes... with tears rolling down my face as i write this to you.

You know what i'm in the middle of. Not even the middle - just at the beginning. There's lots of tears left for me until i can even think of opening myself to someone again.

But i know this: i will. Eventually, i will.

And so must you.



As carbon-based organisms on this planet, all we actually *need* to survive are food, air, and water. However, we're much more than simply blobs of living matter. In the long run, we need to do more than just survive.

We need to live.
We need to love.

We need someone special with whom we can laugh and share the small moments in our days, small moments that are strung together by strings of occasions - like birthdays and promotions and Christmases - into a *life*.

We need to give our love and have it returned.
It's a much a part of being human as is our need to breathe.

We evolved as social animals and we're still bound by the silken strands of our need for others like us, most especially an other. We look, constantly, for another person in the world who will be at our back during hard times and cuddle with us through the long dark cold of the nights.

You have to take the chance.
You have to take the risk.
The possible benefits outweigh the risks. You *know* you can survive the terrible pain of a relationship gone wrong. You must know, too, that your soul needs a mate just as badly as your body does.

Don't hold back.
Don't be miserly about giving your whole self.
100% or nothing, darlin'.
There's no other way in matters of the heart.

 

[Jellybeangirl]

Yes!!! What cymbidia said!

 

[Savage Kitten]

simply put...do i take a chance on feeling again?

Without really knowing you or your situation, i really feel we are pretty much cut from the same cloth. For me, I've only had one expierence with love. It left me very distrusting, negative, and pessimistic. I question every decision I make now. I try to shield myself against everyone that even seems like they are going to enter my life in some fashion.

The pain was intense. It was torture. The shame of my failure great. And so, I continue steady on, building that brick wall.

But now as I sit, protected within my fortress, I yearn for compassion. My heart aches to make that special connection with another. I'm alone, safe and alone.

I recently realized, with the help of a few words from a caring friend, that if I ever want to fill that void I am going to have to take chances. I am going to have to face the risks. I have expierence on my side now.

It's scary as hell, I know. It's like walking on a tight rope without a net. Who will catch you if you fall again? Who knows, maybe no one. But one thing I do know, as long as we keep cursing the world and as long as we keep laying those bricks, there won't ever be anyone strong enough, or brave enough, to enter our world.

You felt it once PA, and your heart remembers the sweet frangrance of love. If your ready to walk that tight rope again then do it. But you know the cost, trust and breaking down those walls.

I know I want it again and I think I am ready to try. I'll admit, very time I consider the consequences my hands shake and my legs get ready to take flight. But then I think about the consequences if I don't try and I can't bare the thought of living my life without someone to love.

I know you are looking for answers here PA... but only you can know if you are ready to make that step.....

 

[gbd]

YES!

As big a pain in the ass that relationships can be, as hurtful as men and women can be to each other, not having that special someone in your life makes life so boring. In my lifetime I have had to endure the pain of a busted relationship. And it feels like there is nothing worse on this planet and it feels like it is going to last forever. But when the right one finally did come around for me the opposite feelings, happiness and joy, were a hundred fold stronger more intense, more enjoyable. Do not give up, and most important to me, do not do anything half assed. It won't work and will only be even more irritating.

 

[AusTess]

I think,when it's right,there is no giving in.

It just simply happens,before you know it.

We really dont have any say,i dont think.
It's all just gonna be.

I'm stoned.

Must be time to go to work.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch

Feel the fear... do it anyway

 

[Calamity Jane]

Darlin, you're a hell of a lot more than you give yourself credit for. I know that you're convinced that you're an asshole, and that you don't deserve the caring that people offer you.

The fact is, you do. We all do. You have to take the risk, be willing to accept the pain, and learn to recover from it if you're ever going to feel the complete range of emotions that love is.

Take the risk.

 

[JazzManJim]

Abso-fucking-lutely you take the chance.

If you don't play Love's game, you can't possibly win.

And this from a guy who was mildly scalded once, but burned very badly once also. Despite some of the shit that's happened in my last relationship, I"m ready to go again. I'm just a romantic fool that way.

But there's some stuff you have to do first. If you want more, let me know. I can fill you in on the problems I've had, and how I sorted myself out - well, mostly sorted myself out.

 

[Moridin187]

I can't say I know exactly how you feel angel, but the Fairer Sex has put me through some definite emotional hell (I won't go into it, but LadyDarkFire can vouch for me on this, woman's talked me outta suicide more times than I can count) That saying may sound stupid, but it's the best way to live your life.

"Work like you don't need money,
Dance like nobody's watching,
Love like you've never been hurt."

 

[paganangel]

"sometimes i feel
like an innocent one
to deserve this fate
what have i ever done"
-Melissa Etheridge

 

[PowerOfOne]

Taking chances

You could limit your chances of being hit by a car by never leaving the house. You could limit your chances of being wrong by never saying a word. You could limit your chances of never feeling emotional pain by refusing to love. You could just stop breathing and never experience anything that life has to offer. My point is if chances are not taken we condemn ourselves to existence and not living.

Every time you go outside you are taking a chance. Every time you reach out to someone you are taking a chance. But it is all worthwhile when the one you reach out for reaches back.

I am very much into music and this reminds me so much of a song I hear playing quite a bit:

Artist: Lee Ann Womack
Album: I Hope You Dance
Title: I Hope You Dance


I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

 

[kiwiwolf]

I've just split with my partner of 5 years and the mother of my munchkins. The wound is 7 days old to the day, but even now I know it will heal. When it does, I am going to be ready to jump back into life boots and all. I don't know how long it will take but it will happen.

You sound like you are ready for it now. Grab it... shake it... do the best that you can with it, because you deserve it. Everybody deserves a shot at happiness.

 

[paganangel]

powerofone

love your av, but i hate that fucking song. always have.
btw, i once got hit by 4 cars in less than a year...it was easy. other types of pain are way herder.
oh, and i'm almost never wrong (I wish i were, believe me) ...but that's only because when i'm not relatively sure of something...i do keep my mouth shut, i wish everyone had that policy.

"i'd rather face ten men than have a broken heart." -mike ness

 

[PowerOfOne]

Re: powerofone

love your av, but i hate that fucking song. always have.
btw, i once got hit by 4 cars in less than a year...it was easy. other types of pain are way herder.
oh, and i'm almost never wrong (I wish i were, believe me) ...but that's only because when i'm not relatively sure of something...i do keep my mouth shut, i wish everyone had that policy.

LMAO! Then stay in the house for Pete's sake! LMAO! I can see your point! Best of luck to you anyway.

 

[lilminx]

PA- you know I love you, but quit your fucking bitching and moaning, and just let it happen!!! If you like her, why don't you try to make something good out of it, instead of thinking about pushing her away?

 

[fgarvb1]

YES, but first read a few books on the dymanics of relations first.

might just save you a lot of trouble. it did me.

I don't like some of the shit that happens to me sometimies, but at least i understand it.

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

The weirdest relationship I was ever in lasted seven years we were friends but she knew I loved her and she used the hell out of it, every time I was in town she would come over and see me the first night and then disapear till I left again then I would get calls saying how much she missed me and cant wait to see me again, it was torture and BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! when I got out of the service we finally became lovers and once again it was a use me situation. she just wanted to get preganent and then she went back to her husband. the wall I built was 5,000 feet high and unbreakable made from the sturdiest of pain with tears for cement. and I held it high for 6 years with noone or nothing getting in, for those years I was the biggest slut puppy I could be nothing lasted more then 6 months then I was gone on to the next conquest.
then the inevitable happened 6 years ago I had a woman find the tiniest of cracks in my wall and she started chipping away at it till she made a hole then the whole damn thing began crashing in around me(yes I was in love) and now six years later we are still happy and more in love then ever. she is the best thing to ever happen to me and my kids(they never had a real mother till her)


so dont ever give up hope, there is somone out there for every one. you just have to allow them to find the crack in the wall. good luck.

 

[IA951]

FUCK NO

My advice is fuck no..

this a chance you really don't need to take.
Why complicate your life?
if your doing ok now and feel alright, then why fuck it up?
don't fix what's not broke man.

I'm not a woman and I'm not a romantic apologist
I'm not going to tell you that some woman is going to make you happy, because she won't. plain and fucking simple.

They say you can live on love..well you can live just as well on hate, better perhaps.

It really fucking pisses me off when people tell you that you "have" to do this, you "have" to take this chance, you "have" to give yourself..
FUCK ALL THAT!
there is not a single fucking thing you are required to do in this god-forsaken world but be born pay your fucking taxes and die...any joy that you come across in the interim consider it a bonus.
All that fucking romantic twaddle makes me want to retch...



It makes me very angry when people guilt you into being social, they shame you into being social...so many things in our culture are shame-based...because we are still a bunch of fucking puritans.
which reminds me...Armand Van Helden had a excellent cd titled "killing puritans" if you can find it give it a listen..truly excellent stuff.

Sorry for the sermon,it just really irritates me when "relationships" get treated like some sort of goddamned holy grail...there is no greater good than to be with someone
to be alone is to be the lesser, a second class citizen
to WANT to be alone is tatamont to treason.

 

[Camille]

Yes

Most of us have suffered the lonliness of being without someone special, but you have to believe she's out there and within your reach.

I know I'll find mine somewhere