Should cymbidia be ALLOWED to back away from the BDSM thread?
- Thread starter Harbinger
- Start date
christophe
back by popular demand
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2001
- Posts
- 9,377
As with anything in life if she would so choose to, then that would be her choice.
From reading some of her posts, and from the shear size of that thread I would seriously doubt that she would.
She has always something nice to say and is very eloquent in her advice
From reading some of her posts, and from the shear size of that thread I would seriously doubt that she would.
She has always something nice to say and is very eloquent in her advice
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Oh my god... oh my god...
Harbinger, i could wring your neck right about now!
Or kiss you.
Or just put my head on your shoulder and my arms round your neck and cry for a while.
I pm'ed you about this leaving the thread thing!
I thought you understood!
Okay.
~deep breath~
I've gotten a rash of email and pm's of late, most of it saying something like, "You're a helluva nice gal most of the time and i know you know something about BDSM but could you please shut the fuck up on the BDSM thread? No one else can get a word in edgewise or offer an opinion cuz you're so quick off the line. Besides, no one else dares to counter anything you say cuz, well, you're a bitch if someone doesn't agree with you."
Most were anonymous, yes, but certainly not all of them. I appreciate the honesty that prompted the messages, however much it shocked and hurt me to hear it. I *didn't* know i was coming off like that. I *HATE* that i came off like that. I do *NOT* want to stifle anyone.
However, in truth, this is a good time for me to step back.
I’m just about to move from eastern Washington back to the San Francisco bay area. Maybe I’m leaving tomorrow, maybe Tuesday; everything depends on the weather. I’m a native of San Diego and have spent all my adult life in the San Francisco area. The last two years here in Snow Country, USA have shocked me to my core. I don’t like snow and don’t feel comfortable driving in it. However, the moving company will only move two cars and I have three so I have to drive one back to San Francisco. The fact that most of my household goods, and the other people in my household, aren’t moving until just before Christmas is almost irrelevant. My cat and I have to drive out into the winter whiteness and go like a bat out of hell (albeit a careful, cautious, and slippery-road-scared bat out of hell) from here to there.
When I get there, MS will be waiting for me. We’ve been working toward this moment for a couple of years. In doing so, we’ve hurt and confused the people we love most in the world to get to this moment. It’s all going to be worth it in the long run, for everyone, but it’s very hard on them and us right now.
I’m conflicted. I’m confused. I’m worried. I’m scared. I hurt. I ache. I’m afraid. I'm wildly anticipatory. I'm really severely in need of some alone time with MS. I'm living with a tumult of emotions running rampantly and riotously through my body, mind, and emotions 100% of the time.
I don’t need to feel shamed and guilty about hurting/pushing/ignoring/running roughshod over/etc anyone at Lit while I’m dealing with all this other stuff. I CAN’T. I don’t have the emotional room for it.
From that perspective, being told I’m a pushy bitch and why don’t I move over and give someone else a chance to say something on occasion, well, it’s a bit of a relief in a twisted way. (Told you I was a masochist!)
In any case, my puter is going into boxes for the car trip tomorrow night. (And it’s not a laptop, either) (One must have one’s priorities straight at moving time, mustn’t one?) I won’t have computer access until I get down to the Bay area, the people who are living in my house move out and I can move in – next Saturday. MS will be there then and we haven’t seen each other for a while. Beyond that, he’s already told me that I’m going to be spending less time online.
See?
This isn’t a horrible thing for me right now, this pulling back.
It hurt to hear I was being a thread hog and I was snippy and uppity but, well, my cat’s name is Angel, not mine. If I can’t take a little truth telling, no matter how uncomfy it makes me, how can I learn and grow and change and become a better person? (Besides, it’s true, that stuff. I am like that sometimes and I know it.)
So Harbinger, as much as my eyes filled with tears of gratitude and warmth at your posting this, as much as I needed – so badly – to feel wanted and as if I was, indeed, of value to our small community of perverts here, I still can’t stay… and you know why, now. Everyone knows why now.
I’ll be back.
I love this place.
I love the BDSM thread with an incredible amount of tenderness.
I rejoice at having been given the gift of interacting with the wonderful people who have made the thread such a delight to be associated with.
But I’m going for now.
Gotta.
You can see that, right?
You’re a good, kind person, Harbinger.
Thank you for the generosity of spirit that prompted this.
You made me cry with it, but not hurting tears – tears of deep appreciation for being cared for like this.
Adios for now.
xoxoxo
b.
Harbinger, i could wring your neck right about now!
Or kiss you.
Or just put my head on your shoulder and my arms round your neck and cry for a while.
I pm'ed you about this leaving the thread thing!
I thought you understood!
Okay.
~deep breath~
I've gotten a rash of email and pm's of late, most of it saying something like, "You're a helluva nice gal most of the time and i know you know something about BDSM but could you please shut the fuck up on the BDSM thread? No one else can get a word in edgewise or offer an opinion cuz you're so quick off the line. Besides, no one else dares to counter anything you say cuz, well, you're a bitch if someone doesn't agree with you."
Most were anonymous, yes, but certainly not all of them. I appreciate the honesty that prompted the messages, however much it shocked and hurt me to hear it. I *didn't* know i was coming off like that. I *HATE* that i came off like that. I do *NOT* want to stifle anyone.
However, in truth, this is a good time for me to step back.
I’m just about to move from eastern Washington back to the San Francisco bay area. Maybe I’m leaving tomorrow, maybe Tuesday; everything depends on the weather. I’m a native of San Diego and have spent all my adult life in the San Francisco area. The last two years here in Snow Country, USA have shocked me to my core. I don’t like snow and don’t feel comfortable driving in it. However, the moving company will only move two cars and I have three so I have to drive one back to San Francisco. The fact that most of my household goods, and the other people in my household, aren’t moving until just before Christmas is almost irrelevant. My cat and I have to drive out into the winter whiteness and go like a bat out of hell (albeit a careful, cautious, and slippery-road-scared bat out of hell) from here to there.
When I get there, MS will be waiting for me. We’ve been working toward this moment for a couple of years. In doing so, we’ve hurt and confused the people we love most in the world to get to this moment. It’s all going to be worth it in the long run, for everyone, but it’s very hard on them and us right now.
I’m conflicted. I’m confused. I’m worried. I’m scared. I hurt. I ache. I’m afraid. I'm wildly anticipatory. I'm really severely in need of some alone time with MS. I'm living with a tumult of emotions running rampantly and riotously through my body, mind, and emotions 100% of the time.
I don’t need to feel shamed and guilty about hurting/pushing/ignoring/running roughshod over/etc anyone at Lit while I’m dealing with all this other stuff. I CAN’T. I don’t have the emotional room for it.
From that perspective, being told I’m a pushy bitch and why don’t I move over and give someone else a chance to say something on occasion, well, it’s a bit of a relief in a twisted way. (Told you I was a masochist!)
In any case, my puter is going into boxes for the car trip tomorrow night. (And it’s not a laptop, either) (One must have one’s priorities straight at moving time, mustn’t one?) I won’t have computer access until I get down to the Bay area, the people who are living in my house move out and I can move in – next Saturday. MS will be there then and we haven’t seen each other for a while. Beyond that, he’s already told me that I’m going to be spending less time online.
See?
This isn’t a horrible thing for me right now, this pulling back.
It hurt to hear I was being a thread hog and I was snippy and uppity but, well, my cat’s name is Angel, not mine. If I can’t take a little truth telling, no matter how uncomfy it makes me, how can I learn and grow and change and become a better person? (Besides, it’s true, that stuff. I am like that sometimes and I know it.)
So Harbinger, as much as my eyes filled with tears of gratitude and warmth at your posting this, as much as I needed – so badly – to feel wanted and as if I was, indeed, of value to our small community of perverts here, I still can’t stay… and you know why, now. Everyone knows why now.
I’ll be back.
I love this place.
I love the BDSM thread with an incredible amount of tenderness.
I rejoice at having been given the gift of interacting with the wonderful people who have made the thread such a delight to be associated with.
But I’m going for now.
Gotta.
You can see that, right?
You’re a good, kind person, Harbinger.
Thank you for the generosity of spirit that prompted this.
You made me cry with it, but not hurting tears – tears of deep appreciation for being cared for like this.
Adios for now.
xoxoxo
b.
Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2001
- Posts
- 5,740
cymbidia said:
You have our hearts, take them with you and bring them back when you return. The BDSM thread without you is nothing, nothing
N
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
You do what you have to do. I just hate the thought of an anonymous troll-like cretin running you off. I doubt very serious that these unnamed people are interesting in filling the void you'll leave behind. I have my suspicions about what brought this on, but I'll keep them to myself.
Good luck on your travels and new life, and we'll be here when things settle down.
Good luck on your travels and new life, and we'll be here when things settle down.
Harbinger
Basic Limerent Object
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2001
- Posts
- 5,134
{{{{{cym}}}}}
Goldurnit, you write so eloquently and persuasively (shameless plug) that I can't help but throw in the towel. I hadn't even gotten warmed up yet. I fully understand how these changes, wonderful as they will be, may change the way you spend some of your time. I just had to make sure it was for the right reasons. Oh well, at least I got a chance to make an ass of myself, something I am loathe to pass up.
Just make sure, when the time comes, you take a minute to let us know when you get settled. I will be on pins and needles until we get some news.
Your Arrant Knight Protector
Harbinger
BTW, I happen to LIKE pushy bitches. That's why I hang out at Lit. There is a rich abundance of such high quality ones.
Goldurnit, you write so eloquently and persuasively (shameless plug) that I can't help but throw in the towel. I hadn't even gotten warmed up yet. I fully understand how these changes, wonderful as they will be, may change the way you spend some of your time.
I just had to make sure it was for the right reasons. Oh well, at least I got a chance to make an ass of myself, something I am loathe to pass up. Just make sure, when the time comes, you take a minute to let us know when you get settled. I will be on pins and needles
until we get some news.Your Arrant Knight Protector
Harbinger
BTW, I happen to LIKE pushy bitches. That's why I hang out at Lit. There is a rich abundance of such high quality ones.
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