Short, snappy and crude (note the key word here -- CRUDE)

[dangergirl]

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: What did the gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.



(There are more of these - but I thought I should see how everyone responded to these first ones before I continued)

 

[Tim1]

Uh huh

What you say is true enough.

 

[dangergirl]

Well? Should I post the next batch? Or are they too over-the-top?

 

[ExLimey]

Keep going...

 

[roxie]

Keep going, this is hilarious.....

 

[dangergirl]

Alright, you asked for it!

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you,what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: What do you call a dog with 4" legs and 6" steel balls?
A: Sparky.




(Can you tell that I have a husband with twisted friends?)

 

[roxie]

ROFLMAO

 

[dangergirl]

and still more!

Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love
& Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: Why is a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken the same?
A: Because by the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

 

[dangergirl]

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A: You know she'll swallow.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Someone who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and tells YOU to f*ck off!

 

[dangergirl]

Here is the last batch!

Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A: Because men fake fore play.

Q: What's the difference between a G- Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?






(Please feel free to add any of your own)

 

[missbehavin_badly]

LMAO!!


Got one for you to add to your list (compliments of George Carlin)

Q: Whats a hormone?
A: What a whore does to make you think your a good fuck

 

[dangergirl]

George is always good for the short, snappy and crude!

 

[dangergirl]

Oh no. I found a whole SITE full of them!

Q. What do you find in a clean nose?
A. Fingerprints!

 

[dangergirl]

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar

 

[TN_Vixen]

oh! oh! Get Marxist in here

to do the "Yo Mama" jokes. They are fucking hilarious!

 

[EvilBrat74]

Great jokes.
Had me rollin.